[Oldmanmatt]

What’s your worst wall experience? Or general gym nightmare?
I was once asked to leave a gym because, apparently doing front levers and muscle ups was “intimidating the other customers” ( I was travelling and it was the only gym I could find in walking distance from the hotel).

I have retired from “The Business”. I sold my wall almost two years ago now. I started in the business at 16, in 1987 (when I got my LEA instructor’s ticket. Boy was the world different before the Lyme Bay incident) as the climbing instructor at the new Sports Centre, with a wall that was lumps of Granite sticking out of the sports hall wall and a scaffolding bar/figure of 8 combo belay rail (top rope only). Oh, and a concrete “chimney” in the corner. Me and a few mates peppered it with these new things called “bolt ons” that we’d discovered being cast by some hippy bloke in a garden in La Palud during one of our summer holiday, South of France, bolt clipping and illegal drinking trips (nobody was old enough to drive, let alone drink. Trains and hitching and the lad who was already shaving doing the supermarket run).
Anyway…
I’ve been in and out of the climbing wall business, between bouts of “real career” ever since. I owned, built and ran my wall for a decade, when life put me in a position that my real job just wasn’t practical anymore. I also managed and operated a roped facility for the local council for a couple of years besides my own operation. As for using walls, I’ve been using them for about forty years at this point. I went to the opening of the Foundry, for example. I helped build Alien Rock (iirc, the fourth dedicated climbing wall in the UK and only a few years after the Foundry opened).
I feel like I know the business. Maybe I’m being arrogant, but I have just returned to my apartment after a rare public tantrum. That is, I was pretty blunt with a climbing wall manager; it was still a pretty “English” tantrum. I went as far as saying “this is bloody silly” quite loudly.
When I came back to Dubai, almost two years ago now, I started climbing at the bouldering centre Rock Republic. I was living out towards Jebel Ali and it was 10 minutes from my apartment. It’s pretty good. A bit scruffy, holds could do with cleaning a little more often, pricy by UK standards; so perfect, really.
But I had to move to the other end of the city, because an hour’s commute each way to the yard could easily double with bad traffic.
Now I live 10 minutes from the yard, but 45 from Rock Republic (on a quiet day).
So, there’s a wall less than 10 minutes from my new apartment . I was injured and not climbing the first  few months after moving, but finally went to check it out about 10 days ago. It looked pricy online, but figured I’d buy a ten entry card or similar.
So, it’s about 4.6 Dirhams to the Pound. A single entry is 125 Dirhams (£27!) but I only planned a once a week session, so.. Membership starts at 680 Dirhams for a month. Definitely not worth it for me, I spend around four months of the year outside the UAE and travel a lot besides and frequently find work/life gets in the way.
Plus, on line, you could only book a one hour drop in session. Figured they just hadn’t updated their website after Covid. 🤷🏻‍♂️
Nope, you have to book online (I walked in), even though the session is actually now a day pass. I couldn’t just pay and enter, but I could sit and do the online thing and then come straight in and stay as long as I wanted.
Fine, fine, ball ache but fine (change the fricking website already).
You have to do the induction course. Ok, that’s fairly normal. Having to do an instructor lead warm up seemed a bit much, but proving you can tie in, safely clip in to the auto belays etc etc is perfectly expected and acceptable blah blah.
Took 20 minutes. Then I could get into their fairly good training area and have a quick boulder afterwards.
A bit ott, but fine.
Then I couldn’t get back in last week, so didn’t return until today. Just wanted an hours training. I thought the online booking thing was just for the first visit, disclaimers and waivers etc, so I just walked in.
Nope.
Sit down and do the online stuff on my phone. Ok, they have my booking I can come in (eye roll). Then the lass hands me a harness. Oh, I say, no thanks, I’m just going to train a bit and boulder. She gets flustered. I have to sit and wait for the instructor to do the induction. I say, no, you remembered me, remembered my name, from when I registered and did the induction ten days ago.
Nope, you have to do the induction every time you come in, unless you buy the monthly.

Whaaaat!

Cue tantrum.

The manager came over.
No, sorry, it’s policy. No exceptions, even if I came every day.

I just left, with bad grace and the “this is bloody silly” comment a bit louder than I intended, actually.

The 45 minutes to Rock Republic suddenly seems more than worth it. I mean, screw the fancy cafe and  sofas. Ten minutes filling out forms, ten minutes waiting for the instructor, twenty minutes of warm up and patronising lecture every time I want to train or spend £146 a month? For maybe four sessions a month?

Fair dues: I got a text from the bank as I was driving off, to say they’d refunded me.
So, there’s that.

[thunderbeest]

And some customers give me a strange look when I ask them to put their shirts back on, even though it's only 15 degrees C at the Kilter board.. (37 pounds a month for 2000 sqm)

[Oldmanmatt]

And some customers give me a strange look when I ask them to put their shirts back on, even though it's only 15 degrees C at the Kilter board.. (37 pounds a month for 2000 sqm)

Yup.
This place do a Family annual for ~£2500 or, as I see it, two return flights to the UK on Emirates and four first class train tickets from/to Heathrow to Newton Abbot and change.
Around 500m². Busy though. This is the land of more money than sense, to be fair.

[rodma]

I'm fairly sure (but I often misremember) that eica used to make it the boulderer's fault/ responsibility if they ended up above some toolbag wandering under them.

I also got in trouble there for speeding up (an amazing cartwheel of a yeet, one for the ages) some unsupervised child that was running in circles around the arena boulders, that had I not sped up, my missus would have landed on their head (it was a slo mo barn door and I was spring her, the kid ran between me and the boulder). Needless to say, the staff threatened to throw me out, I took this irrationally and asked why the hell they weren't floor walking to stop that sort of shit in the first place.  I didn't back down, nor did the member of staff, they thought my behaviour was completely out of order. That was 10 or so years ago, I think I've been back once since then.

[Wellsy]

Fiend-bait thread detected

[tomtom]

"The Rock", Darwin, NT, Australia



A picture tells a thousand words - and this low res image will speak plenty. Its built inside an old WW2 oil storage tank - with no AC or much assisted ventilation of any sort. (its hot and sticky up there for 70% of the year).

I climbed there once - on a Saturday - with kids parties going on (which is fair enough) and zero supervision. Crash mats were drag around things, chalk banned (with the heat ugh...). I gave up after 45 min having got stuck into a roof problem in a bouldering area on a balcony (!!) and having a stream of kids running under me.

[moose]

Sounds like a worse version of the old Berghaus bouldering wall in Newcastle (on the top floor of the Eldon Square shopping centre) - in summer it was incredibly hot and humid, the only place I have ever felt the need to go tops off.  When I first went, the matting comprised a few portable gymnastics mats, each the size of a single mattress - which made protecting anything overhanging / traversing a bit tricky.  Then someone broke their ankle, falling on the edge of a mat - so all the mats were removed for a few years to "discourage" people from falling! Climbing there then was a very trad-like, leader-must-not-fall, never-do-a move-you-can't-reverse experience... a bit of a problem as it was an old bendcrete affair, with most holds being tiny polished nubbins.

[petejh]

 
It would keep crowds down if 2 in 10 falls resulted in significant lower limb injury.. eventually there wouldn't be enough people left to ever get overcrowded.. kind of survival of the fittest but more survival of the meek'est.

[Dac]

By any current standards the Berghaus wall was pretty poor, but I must confess some nostalgia for the place.

My pet peeve was that in summer, when the temperature and humidity would reach oppressive levels, if you dared to ask the reception staff if they could possibly turn on the extraction fans for a bit then the request would be greeted with such revulsion and hostility that you would think you had asked to take a dump in their mouth.

[Fiend]

And some customers give me a strange look when I ask them to put their shirts back on, even though it's only 15 degrees C at the Kilter board.. (37 pounds a month for 2000 sqm)

You'd get more than a strange look from me, and I'd expect this...

Fair dues: I got a text from the bank as I was driving off, to say they’d refunded me.
So, there’s that.

....as I left immediately (as per what the now-boycotted Hangar did).

Forcing customers to inhibit and sabotage their training by enforcing unjustifiable clothing rules that simply aren't suitable for the activity in question is absolutely a rule that drives me mad and has made me leave. The more I think about this rationally and calmly (and talk cheerfully to staff and customers at normal walls), the more I realise how wrong it is, and the more I will avoid such walls at all costs unless I am having to meet a friend in the area. Thankfully there's enough walls in this area that if any of them start pulling this ridiculous stunt, I will just move on to another one. And will hopefully be long gone before it, god forbid, becomes a ridiculous status quo.

Apparently unskippable over-blown intro / induction videos and terribly set stamina circuits are also runners up.

[Paul B]

The Hangar putting a foil blanket in the roof and turning on the heater next to the board so someone could be warmer when stretching was a bit frustrating.

[stone]

My concern back when the Matrix was still open was that they didn't have a rule against people sitting/lying/chillin on the mats. I got the impression that many people went to the wall predominately for a lie down. There were benches to the side. The problems were on all sides so there was no place on the mats where people didn't land and people could have been landed on from behind. It was a miracle that there wasn't a serious accident. I used to plead with people telling them about the accident in the Bristol wall years back.

[SA Chris]

We have an ongoing issue with the L shaped bouldering area at the local wall where cretins are so carried away telling their friends how they did something and spraying beta that they are unaware of people behind them about to crush their skulls. I have to tell someone to move every week, sometimes the same person. They usually look surprised, each time.. 

[SamT]

Ah God... the whole sitting on the mat thing.. 

Does my flippin head in.  The Depot has enough space to get away with it, but the hipster youth seem to have migrated to the Works a bit and there's simply no room. Its bad enough these days just standing about.

Wish they would introduce a 'no laying about in gangs chatting about vegan coffee shops' rule.

Genuinely overheard..

"Do you mind moving a bit, I'd just like to try this problem".

"Err, well we were here first"....
    

(guess this has turned into a general climbing wall behaviour gripe, as opposed to specific anoying rules thread)

[SA Chris]

"Err, well we were here first"....

Ok, so you won't mind when my foot enters your chest cavity (was it Grimer who wrote that story?)

[steveri]

I don't want to sound all 'train-ier than thou' but I genuinely don't see much actual climbing from some people. And the bloody phones, put them away or don't be surprised if people stand on them. As you were. I'm not angry, just disappointed.

[SamT]

I've actually considered just jumping off on folks ankles, just to illustrate how fecking stupid it is to lounge about under someone who's climbing without a care in world.

The older I get, the more I wonder why I've spent my entire life being too polite.

Angry from Sheffield.

[SA Chris]

I've done a deliberate controlled landing near them before to make the point. Most of the instructors / floor walkers seem reluctant to intervene.

[tommytwotone]

The increasing popularity of liquid chalk, and the consequent increasing popularity of leaving your liquid chalk bottle on the mats for me to roll my ankle on. See also phones and massive 1 litre metal water bottles.

[matt463]

Obviously walls would never do this, but I find phones really annoying. Iv gone to climb a problem before only to find a mobile phone propped up on a hold facing the opposite wall filming someone. I imagine walls love it, lots of free media creation

Worst experience was some middle aged guy in tie dye shorts setting off to climb a problem that conflicted with a family friend already on the wall. I'd politely alerted him to the fact they'd interupt each other. He was inpolite to a level that represented an unprecedented amount of value he must have placed on climbing some arbitrary warm-up problem

[SamT]

Yeah,, wall etiquette is plummeting...

Glance around .. "you on?" 
"no no,, go ahead, yeah no worries"..
"good effort, nice one, didn't think about putting my heel on that one".

has been replaced by

Walk right up to problem from across the mats, step infront of assembled gang of 3 of you, without even acknowleding your existance and start climbing on the problem you're all clearly stood infront of.
Jump off walk away. 

 

[galpinos]

"Err, well we were here first"....

Ok, so you won't mind when my foot enters your chest cavity (was it Grimer who wrote that story?)

.... and it finally hit me. OTE 78

[Nibile]

"The path of the righteous boulderer is beset on all sides by the iniquities of the rules and the tyranny of wall owners. Blessed is He who in the name of friction and good performance shepherds the weak out of the gym, for He is truly his brother's spotter and the finder of lost cellphones. And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who attempt to poison my session and destroy my brothers' ankles. And you will know My name is the Lord when I land my feet upon your chest cavity."
Fiend, 25.04.24.

[SamT]

 

[dave k]

The paying to belay your kid rule!!!

[thunderbeest]

I truly think that when people started climbing in shorts is when it all went down hill with climbing.

[SA Chris]

"The path of the righteous boulderer is beset on all sides by the iniquities of the rules and the tyranny of wall owners. Blessed is He who in the name of friction and good performance shepherds the weak out of the gym, for He is truly his brother's spotter and the finder of lost cellphones. And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who attempt to poison my session and destroy my brothers' ankles. And you will know My name is the Lord when I land my feet upon your chest cavity."
Fiend, 25.04.24.

Tattooed across your chest.

[SA Chris]

[.... and it finally hit me. OTE 78

Doubt I still have that one!

[SamT]

"The path of the righteous boulderer is beset on all sides by the iniquities of the rules and the tyranny of wall owners. Blessed is He who in the name of friction and good performance shepherds the weak out of the gym, for He is truly his brother's spotter and the finder of lost cellphones. And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who attempt to poison my session and destroy my brothers' ankles. And you will know My name is the Lord when I land my feet upon your chest cavity."
Fiend, 25.04.24.

Tattooed across your chest.

Pass me my chalk bag please... its the one with Bad Motherfucker written on it... 

[Nibile]

 

[jwi]

No bouldering wall in Toulouse and more or less no bouldering wall in Barcelona allow for loose chalk. They all require liquid chalk. Which is horrible and doesn't really work, or work temporarly because there is resin in the mix, cakeing the holds in a miserable slop. (Please don't use these products outside!) However, many of the walls tacitly allow loose chalk, if hidden discretely, at the training boards (as those cannot be cleaned regularly and imagine the state of those if people were using resin!). I avoid any gym not having a board were surreptitiously use of chalk is allowed.

Tops on is not a huge deal for me, super light weight vests exist for exactly this reason. Belay tests are fine if I don't have to pay for them. (I can pretend to tie in with a figure of eight for a day. I can even belay with an ATC for a day if my partner promise not to fall or hang.)

The biggest dealbreaker for me is bad or too unvaried setting in my grade range. Just leave and don't come back until reliable sources inform that the setting has gotten better.

I hate when I have to give up my phone number for membership. I do not trust gyms not to loose this data or have an employee sell it on (took about one week of having a new number in Spain until someone had sold it on to spammers/scammers). I should really have a fake number memorised for all such inquires. I have a fake email memorised that I always use if I have to give it up.

[Tom de Gay]

Silently changing the policy of who can climb there.

At the sprog’s insistence, we made a long trip to a certain London bouldering wall designed with kids and beginners in mind. We were barred from entering at 4pm on a Saturday, as it turned out they had changed their policy a couple of weeks earlier and kids were no longer allowed in after 4pm. No announcement of this by email, in their monthly newsletter, on insta/twitter. 

I did not lose my shit, but the 4 year-old – seeing adults and older kids climbing in a decidedly unbusy wall – felt unfairly excluded had a major meltdown on the way home. It has taken him about a year to rekindle enthusiasm for climbing. But we won't be going back there.

Fair enough if a policy needs to change, but maybe tell your customers first.

[galpinos]

[.... and it finally hit me. OTE 78

Doubt I still have that one!

Always in easy reach of my home office desk…..

[SA Chris]

a certain London bouldering wall

Name and shame...

[Bradders]

I'm increasingly convinced that the holds used on the black circuit at the Armley Depot are designed to put people off climbing as they're just getting into it. You start off, maybe you can climb a few blues and think you should try the next circuit up, only to meet the most awful holds ever made. Crestfallen you sack it all off because if that's what a V2 feels like who knows how painfully miserable a V5 will feel.

For those who haven't been, they're universally these horrendous massive flat jugs, all angular blocks which are unpleasant to hold in any grip type and force a sort of jerky, locky, brainless style of climbing.

Luckily there is the pink circuit covering a similar grade spread, which by contrast seems to feature a plethora of joyful, interesting movement, but in contrast it makes it all the more bizarre that they persist with the blacks when they're so clearly awful.