the shizzle > shootin' the shit

Black Dog Club

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lagerstarfish:

--- Quote from: tomtom on January 20, 2021, 05:34:43 pm ---Great idea Rob - and thanks for facilitating Shark / BMC.

--- End quote ---

not my idea

well, the details are mine, but it was Shark who approached me first

SA Chris:

--- Quote from: lagerstarfish on January 20, 2021, 05:45:09 pm ---Something I just thought of - please don't anyone think that your difficulties are too minor or "not bad enough" to justify attending BDC.

--- End quote ---

I think it's fair to say the black dog comes to us all. Thanks for setting this up guys, great idea.

lagerstarfish:
I said about check-in being about how people are today and over the last week, but this is not a rigid timeframe. It's there to help people think about how they are.

As Shark said - Covid and lockdown (not being able to climb) related stuff will be relevant to us all, but discussion is not limited to this - plenty of us have problems that were already there and they may need explaining for context.

lagerstarfish:
other things I should say...

It's OK to turn up and not speak - it's better if you do, but if you need time to get used to it, that's fine. I will still keep you involved by asking you if you want to contribute and a shake of the head is an absolutely acceptable answer.

Humour is allowed - it can be very helpful to laugh at ourselves. Obviously be careful with humour - the safest use is with respect to your own situation, but even then it might not be received the right way by someone else. I've caused some monumental messes through inappropriate use of humour, but it has been worth it for the good laughs we've had in groups when it's gone right (usually does work out fine). I anticipate that video meeting will make this a whole lot harder to judge.

Swearing - if used appropriately is fine. If anyone has difficulty with hearing sailor talk, please tell us and I will be stricter on it. Sometimes swearing is the best way of explaining how you feel. We will not swear at each other.

We will disagree with each other at times - be nice, treat each other with respect. Usually this is stated as "disagree with the opinion not the person".

I will not tolerate hate speech. Its fine to admit to having beliefs and ideas that others may strongly disagree with, but chose your language and attitude carefully. I will help with this.

The level of confidentiality is important to get right and for everyone to feel comfortable with their understanding. Better to err on the side of privacy if in any doubt. This will be discussed in the group. It is understandable and not unusual for people to stay quiet or leave a group because they don't feel able to share due to confidentiality issues. Things that can be communicated outside the group include how you felt about it, any helpful techniques or tips you learned (but not who told you). It's fine to tell people about what you yourself said in the group.

Do not record the event.

Please think carefully what you disclose - we will be a bunch of fragile climbers with varying degrees of resilience; some things might be too difficult for some of us to hear. If you are unsure, ask via PM before the group. I'm thinking of things like details of self harm, abuse, violence, accidents. I will stop people if I think what they are saying will have a serious impact on those listening. If you find what you are hearing too difficult, put your hands over your ears and make sure I can see this on camera.

You don't have to wear a mask.

You don't have to ask to go to the toilet.

Please think about whether it is appropriate for your speakers to be switched on (who else can hear) or whether headphones might be better.

Eye contact is going to be tricky - cameras being in a different place to the video image of the person talking - we'll all do our best to deal with this oddness.

kelvin:
I wanted to say thanks and well done for doing something concrete.
Currently, my PTSD has reared it's head following last week, when my partner's 16 year old daughter trying commit suicide three times and on Friday she was admitted to a local mental health ward. It's been a week.
Anyways - it's proper good to hear you guys are helping people during what's a shit time for many.

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