Rehab Diaries Week Fifty-twoSTG- Sub-HVS *** Peak Trad list (11/27 remain), onsighting HVS/ low 6s by end of September.
M- Stoney with my girlfriend who is coincidentally also called Stoney. Target: Sin. It's a 25m VS corner crack, the concensus on which is that it's very good, 4c all the way and has good gear. I reckoned at least two of those statements would need appending with the caveat "for Stoney" but felt confident anyway. Stoney (the woman) laughs at me for making very long-winded ascents of the routes off my list and I was genuinely confident of being able to prove her wrong. After udging up the chimney that leads to the ledge at the start of the route I still felt good but this did not last long- the first 6 or so metres of the route is very goey; bridging on polished holds that weren't as good as I'd like and I found the moves to exit this to what looked like an in-balance point highly inscrutable. Cue much up&downing as my feet got very pumped each time I searched for a solution.
I did not feel warmed-up at all and not even really up for it so decided to have "one last look" before downclimbing, taking the gear out as I went and going home in the daylight for our tea. I then did the move and found myself, not
quite in-balance, fiddling a wire into one of those fucking Stoney cracks that wires simultaneously seem to sit in properly but also not be seated in effectively at all and make a weird hollow sound as you rattle them about around in there. It was at this point that I remembered why it's more then seven years since I did trad here- last time I fell almost the height of the crag head-first in a gear-ripping, belayer incompetence-related fall.
I thought I heard a helicopter overhead but it was just the sounds of the road being twisted by my fear-addled brain.
Climbing the route actually went alright- the rests come between the hard moves as you'd expect for a VS and although I felt irrationally scared, faffed about and overgripped all the way I thought I would do it. High up I made a tough sequence upward thinking I'd be in balance stood on a spike ready to place gear and figure out what would probably the final challenging bit but once I was up there I plain panicked- the only holds available were shiny thin handjams that wouldn't keep me from hinging backwards and I was committed. I put loads of energy into reversing breathlessly back as far as I could knowing I would fall in the process but somehow didn't and found myself back at the ledge at the start of the sequence, panting. It looked like there was still miles to the top. I was done. It was starting to go dark. I felt sick. Fuck this.
I put an extra runner in and gingerly weighted the rope to be lowered by my fully-briefed (and now freezing cold) belayer. As this happened one of my pieces popped out. Not the top piece but I can do without that sort of thing happening as I lower off, to say the least
. Once I'd gibbered to the floor I went up to set up an ab for the gear (not a quick process at Stoney- it involves going up a big Diff chimney/ mud chute and locating the top of your route via brambly paths. As there's nothing fixed at the top of Sin you have to do this twice to avoid leaving gear) and to my immense displeasure found that right where I'd panicked there's a good sidepull edge in one of the cracks and you're very close to the top. I'd basically done the route.
T- Lawrencefield with Erm, Sam. Didn't feel up to climbing much but I never refuse an invite to get out. Sam'll hate me for publicising it but he made a smooth ascent of Suspense. I attempted to improve on my previous attempt to second it (Spring 2017) which involved one fall on the headwall.
This time I found every single move tough and some of them impossible- literally had to be winched up a lot of the headwall (on a guide plate- following the knowledge I gained on the multipitch tactics thread and this demonstration I decided to get one myself)
and I pulled on the peg at the top. Also felt a bit scared. Not sure how much of this inability was due to being tired from the night before and how much due to just being rubbish but the only positive I came away with was that if/ when I lead the route it will be extra satisfying.
W- Rest.
T- Five Clouds with Sam. Crabbie's Crack is my route here- the first one I tried from my list, , but also one of the hardest- it gets
HVS on UKC. The crux involves both bridging and rocking up onto a smeary high left foot to get up into the hanging crack so it's no wonder I couldn't contemplete committing to it way back at the end of March. This time would surely be different!
It took me a while to get some good gear in and make a plan, which necessitated going up and down from a good ledge a fair few times to avoid a flash pump but I was confident and ready to commit. When I did so I got my right jamming-gove hooked on the gate of the crab on my highest cam.
Sam taking my weight on the rope pinned my hand behind the rope, basically hanging me from it without an easy way to get it unhooked.
It took a good few minutes to free it.
Next go up I got through the crux to the bit where you exit the crack onto a little ledge. This involves laybacking. I didn't commit, freaked out and lowered off. Not great. Next go it was going dark but I just needed to commit to getting up onto the ledge. Headtorch on, let's do this. I got way up, very close to getting up there but my timid attmpts to do it without laybacking meant that I'd buried a jam in the crack I was leaving, I hadn't brought my left foot up at all and I was therefore in an impossible position. I slumped onto the the gear but my jamming-gloved hand remained deep in the crack, above my head, above the gear I was hanging from and with most of my weight hanging from it. This was the same hand as before and after 11+ years of climbing without this bullshit happening to me, it was now happening twice in an evening. Much swearing and grunting ensued.
Thanks to Sam for this picture of me after I'd lowered down.
I seconded Sam on the route and found it steady- climbed completely differently with the rope above. Lots to think about on the drive home.
F- Rest. Bought a guide plate.
S- Kinder South-eastern edges with Reeve (of this quarter) and fellow debilitating trauma survivor Marie. A big day as we couldn't park where we wanted to so went up and down in a huge loop- up Crowden Clough, down below Ringing Roger if anyone's interested. The sixth time I'm been up Kinder this year but hopefully not the last. I forgot my shoes
but luckily Reeve had a pair of Scarpas that fitted me fine. Very strong wind on top made it colder as the afternoon went on and I was freezing before seconding Upper Tor Wall (9 years after I led it on the first day I climbed on Kinder) as a warm up.
The main event was Flash Wall, the only route on my list I'd never seen in the flesh. It's a ~20m quarried(!) vertical wall following a crack system that gets very wide at the top. I knew it's reputation as one of those routes that would be a grade higher if it wasn't very well protected but that didn't fully explain how nervous I felt before setting off- rarely have I felt so shaky pre-route
. If I hadn't been belayed by an extremely patient psychologist I would probably have backed off in the first 6 metres but Reeve got me back into the midset that I've enjoyed climbing trad in for most of this year
- not fast by any means but with a measured calmness that had completely abandoned me on Monday evening.
This got me to the crux, near the top of the wall, in a great and confident state of mind. Unfortunately every way I attempted to solve it felt improbably tough and I just couldn't make myself commit to a move I felt sure I'd fall off. After a lot of attempts over an incredibly long time I'd completely worn myself out and for the third time in six days I was in a situation where it was going dark and my mates were freezing to death while I fucked about so I came down. There was solid gear so when on the ground I realised that I should have at least taken a little fall off it but hindsight is an fantastic thing.
Seconding the route I discovered that unlike Crabbie's Crack I couldn't even
top-rope the crux move! It's quite a route Flash Wall- definitely the toughest on my list that I've been on and one of the best too. I could blame not wearing my own shoes, the extreme wind, getting huge bits of scrittle in my eye, being knackered from climbing four times in a week for the first time post-accident or other stuff
(fans of Burnley FC manager Shaun Dyche may appreciate how I just claimed not to be making excuses while making four excuses) but I'm happy to admit that it's just too hard for me. Realistically speaking I won't be back on it this year.
S- Rest. So sore and knackered. Ate about 3000 calories.
Got out climbing four days this week.
I owe August an apology as I completely slagged it last week but, despite a lot of rain and gales, this week has also had some beautiful evenings and lovely temps consistently. In a few weeks time after-work climbing will be a fantasy so it's great to make the most of it.
As much as I'd love to tick all my list by the end of this year I'm going to chill out on it because it's just got me into a ridiculous situation of trying trad routes that are at my mental limit with little or no warm-up day after day, testing belayers' patience and having an attritional effect on me physically as well as mentally. I'm on my third visit to some of these VSs now which is absurd as it's not meant to be some sort of headpoint project, in fact the original aims were-
-Prevent the “all the routes I can climb are shit or I’ve done them before” malaise that I’ve known to affect other injury-weakened trad climbers.
-Get my trad head/ efficiency/ fluency back
-Get me out to crags I’ve never or seldom visited before (with some leg-strengthening approaches in there too)
-Make me better at the steep crack climbs style that I’ve often avoided
-Have a good time with my mate who I used to do trad with all the time
I ticked all of those months ago but have rolled back on the second one a bit this week. Need to take it steady and just focus on having a good time to regain it.
