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Post your most outrageous tactics / tricks for THE SEND. (Read 13057 times)

Fiend

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Yes, a thread that should be light-hearted and inoffensive enough for even Dan C.... Inspired by the cordless fans / giant forensic tents around problems with portable air-con and dehumidifiers / tales of Mo bringing a cool box to the fan and taping icepacks to the holds, etc etc, this got me pondering:

What is the most outrageous / ridiculous / extravagant / plain unfeasible tactics you've used or witnessed for the sometimes-elusive "sealing the deal"??

Bonus points if it involves several kilograms of additional equipment or many hours of preparation for the tiniest percentage of increased chances.



(OP's note: I don't really send much. The best I can do is that I once tried to do Matinee at the Roaches, and I was so concerned about using all my chalk on the green and greasy start, that I secreted an extra block of chalk under my beanie to crunch into my bag on the mid-height ledge. Did it work?? Did it fuck. I failed dismally for other reasons, not for lack of chalking)

tomtom

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Knee pad on the top of my shins for scumming the edge of a lip I had to surmount.

That’s probably pretty tame in the grand scheme of things. Certainly more pleasant than climbing in just my pants (I’m looking your way Shark....)

Will Hunt

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I was so concerned about using all my chalk on the green and greasy start, that I secreted an extra block of chalk under my beanie to crunch into my bag on the mid-height ledge.

Simply beautiful.

JamieG

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I've tried to do a problem at Carrock Fell in just my pants. I was wearing jeans and couldn't get my foot high enough for a rock over. Not that the pants-only tactic worked, I still couldn't do the problem, but I got my foot on the hold.

Alex-the-Alex

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Citric Cend Solution: Paul made me stab my fingers in an orange after an hour of sloppy ploppin off a slippy crimp. He swore it was an old trick he knew of, though you could see the twinkle in his eye as I lathered up. Stuck though. Placebo or effect I dunno, but it got me up the arete and left me one of my proudest new lines  :wub:

Havnt tried lemon or grapefruit yet   :-\

Yoof

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Apparently the citrus thing is something gymnasts have done for a long time. Opens the pores in your skin and clears them out so that you can refill them with non-greasy chalk.

Further to that gymnasts wet their hands before applying chalk. Always wondered if this might help, but haven't been brave enough to try.

Inexpensive, and low effort, but I noticed the cooling-your-hands-on-a-rock-before-pulling-on tactic employed by some mega-wads pre-doing 8C+s. Could maybe be levelled up, using a plastic bag and a river?

andy_e

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Who was it that sat in a hot bath drinking six cans of Stella the night before going out to try something hard, in a desperate attempt to lose enough weight through dehydration to get them up it? They were so tired that they had to be carried to the crag or something.

turnipturned

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Not sure if this is a tactic or just an necessary to get it done.

But a week before a session on Monks life, I would sand down my pinky every night so that it was skinny enough to fit in the pinky mono. Before each goes I would carefully lick the side of my finger so it would slide in but at the same time leaving enough chalk on my pad.


haydn jones

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Who was it that sat in a hot bath drinking six cans of Stella the night before going out to try something hard, in a desperate attempt to lose enough weight through dehydration to get them up it? They were so tired that they had to be carried to the crag or something.

James Thornton when he did the ace. iirc he skipped breakfast for 2 espressos too. It worked.

haydn jones

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I've do e the plastic bag in a river tactic at cornice. Problem is it condenses in the bag quickly and starts to feel damp.

tomtom

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RMan taught me the trick of washing your hands (and drying) before applying chalk just before your attempt.

It ‘feels’ better but never sure if it’s actually made a difference.

fatneck

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Many moons ago back in the bad old days, I ended up at Wimberry with a small leftover bag of Columbian marching powder determined to finally do Think Tank. I tanked up and managed the crux first go, but was a quivering mess by the time I got to the jugs. My Franklin satellite was back at the start, my balls had fully retreated into my body and my heart was doing about 200+bpm. I bailed onto the grass, packed up and staggered back to the car with tail firmly between my legs and vowed never to try the problem again - I still have never done or even touched Think Tank...

36chambers

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Who was it that sat in a hot bath drinking six cans of Stella the night before going out to try something hard, in a desperate attempt to lose enough weight through dehydration to get them up it? They were so tired that they had to be carried to the crag or something.

James Thornton when he did the ace. iirc he skipped breakfast for 2 espressos too. It worked.

No wonder they didn't call it a day when it started raining ;)

Fiend

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But a week before a session on Monks life, I would sand down my pinky every night so that it was skinny enough to fit in the pinky mono. Before each goes I would carefully lick the side of my finger so it would slide in but at the same time leaving enough chalk on my pad.
This is the winner so far! Body modification plus the micro-tactic of only licking the side of your finger  :alien:


If I have any more, they're certainly all chalk-related. Like belaying on a cold day in gloves (reluctantly) but filling the gloves full of chalk dust in the hope my hands would stay warm but also semi-dry. That didn't work either.

Oh I just remembered. When I did Wall Of Flame (amazing route) with Steve P (RIP), it was a semi-warm autumn day and I was so concerned about toe pain I slathered my toes with voltarol an hour before setting off.

36chambers

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Many years ago, on a particularly cold and miserable day at the cliff, in a last-ditch attempt to send The Bulb, Footwork ate a hot chilli just before pulling on. In the hope it would ignite some sort of unknown superhuman strength. He started coughing and crying mid-problem and fell off early into a pitiful heap on the ground.

petejh

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When Pete Robins redpointed Liquid Ambar he led it on an 8mm trad rope to save weight.

Will Hunt

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Many years ago, on a particularly cold and miserable day at the cliff, in a last-ditch attempt to send The Bulb, Footwork ate a hot chilli just before pulling on. In the hope it would ignite some sort of unknown superhuman strength. He started coughing and crying mid-problem and fell off early into a pitiful heap on the ground.

 :lol: :lol: :lol:

That is just so Ben. I love love love him. Not climbing related but I remember a time when I lived with him and he had a cold but was going over to see his girlfriend. He wanted to get rid of his common cold before heading over and I found him stood at the kitchen sink forcing down raw sprouts and raw garlic, gagging as he did so. He said something about boosting his immune system.

And then there's the story about the witch doctor, the verruca, and the chick pea...

Will Hunt

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Who was it that sat in a hot bath drinking six cans of Stella the night before going out to try something hard, in a desperate attempt to lose enough weight through dehydration to get them up it? They were so tired that they had to be carried to the crag or something.

Not sure about the six cans bit, but there is definitely a story about Phil Davidson being carried into Kilnsey(!) after a serious bit of dieting.


It was also at Kilnsey that Steve D told us about Stallioni's latest dieting method. I think he'd ordered a big bag of powder off the internet. Steve's eyes widened. "It's just a big silver bag with no ingredients on it, just some pictures of flowers. And inside, the powder is divvied up into little sachets - you have one of those a day with water and that's all you eat".
I was incredulous. "He's lost loads of weight though", Steve insisted.

Yes. Because he's presumably living off a diet of ground glass!

remus

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A friend of mine was on Lean Machine at Boulder Ruckle and got so desperately pumped/runout that he was in dire need of a rest. In a moment of inspiration he licked his hand so he could lubricate it's entry in to a jamming rest that was definitely too small. It worked, though if I remember correctly he had some nerve problems in his hand for a few months afterwards.

spidermonkey09

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Having scraped through the run out section on Calvary at Stanage above some blindly placed and likely terrible gear, I reached the rest. Brutally pumped and with freezing hands (it was around February), I got a lot of weight off my arms by wedging my helmet into the rooflet above. I also had a hand warmer in my chalkbag which successfully thawed out my fingers. My right forearm was particularly bad and in an effort to dissipate the solid pump that had developed, I resorted to gnawing on my own arm. It did the job, I depumped and clawed my way to the top.

tomtom

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Thinking of Turnips finger sanding reminded me - when I was working the Keel, I kept cutting up the inside of my left wrist quite badly. To make taping it easier I shaved all the hairs off my left wrist.

Doylo

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When Pete Robins redpointed Liquid Ambar he led it on an 8mm trad rope to save weight.

And no chalk bag  ;D

teestub

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when I was working the Keel, I kept cutting up the inside of my left wrist quite badly. To make taping it easier I shaved all the hairs off my left wrist.

I just wore a sweatband!

tomtom

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when I was working the Keel, I kept cutting up the inside of my left wrist quite badly. To make taping it easier I shaved all the hairs off my left wrist.

I just wore a sweatband!

:D I don't have any... but kind of relieved it wasnt just me with that issue...

I started taping up my thermal so it covered the area - but (a) that was daft and (b) wore a hole in the  thermal

Hoseyb

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I taped my elbow like a jamming glove to work the marginal armbars on the Beast in Me.
I regularly slog up to the boulders in winter with a hot water bottle in a wine cooler bag.
Always had gaffer tape strips on my climbing helmet to stick down marginal gear on adventure slate climbs.
Mainly I just hum the indiana Jones theme tune to myself....

Nibile

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I once taped a small, battery-powered fan on the rock, directly over a nasty crimp, to keep it fresh in the summer.
It's in this video: (password: direateverylevel).

Another time, for a long problem, I removed my thermal top because its long sleeves - in my mind - compressed my forearms too much, and to avoid vasoconstriction due to being barechested I climbed with my light duvet on.

These feats pale in comparison to the beauties posted before.

tomtom

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excellent Nibs.

Have a wad... and your expression having just greased off on the previous attempt is priceless!!!

(though you didn't match on the pocket/porthole :D )

andy popp

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I taped my elbow like a jamming glove to work the marginal armbars on the Beast in Me.
I regularly slog up to the boulders in winter with a hot water bottle in a wine cooler bag.
Always had gaffer tape strips on my climbing helmet to stick down marginal gear on adventure slate climbs.
Mainly I just hum the indiana Jones theme tune to myself....

I've always loved your scooter assisted descents from remote bouldering spots.

bigironhorse

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I have nothing as good as these. Only thing I can think of is taping a bunch of socks to the inside of my knee so I could endure further heel-ripping knee-smacking falls of trackside.

Last year before going to mello I was a bit worried about the offwidth pitch on oceano irrazionale, so went to curbar at about 6.30am one day before work in the week before and shunted right eliminate a bunch of times. When we got to mello the weather was so bad we didn't even have chance to get on it!

Fiend

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Extended and taped draw is something I've thought of in the past.


My next cunning plan is to build a resin replacement for the Weedkiller hold-blocking lump, and blu-tack it in place when I'm at the Tor, to get the classic testpiece experience.

JamieG

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Not really a legitimate tactic. But I once rubbed the grease from a badly prepared museum specimen of a grizzly bear skeleton onto my finger tips in the hope of gaining some super ursid crimp power. Not much of an effect but I do like salmon more now . . .

(N.B. my wife works in vertebrate zoology and commonly has random boxes of bones in the house).

Duma

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JamieG wins the thread

remus

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Had another friend who was struggling to get the rest on Body Machine to work. He resorted to cutting the toes off a sock then wearing it on his arm while climbing, when he got to the rest he'd then slide it down over hist fist so he had the width/comfort to recover enough for the top.

lagerstarfish

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I did a siege once.

A traverse.

With a rope and harness.

A route.

Not even a proper route with a grade, just something that I looked at and wondered if I could do it.

It involved some right effort in terms of organisation and talking to other people.

I spent 6 months sport climbing and diving in Thailand in '96/'97. I'd done most routes on sight and redpointed a few things. I'd done quite a few new routes in trad style and DWS style, but the thing that I put most effort into was a poxy traverse.

This was the R-L traverse of Ton Sai wall - start up Rieser Baby, cross the roof (footless) of Spanish Wreck/ Seafood Fritas (clipping bolts) , get a rest wedged in the stalactites (pull rope through to reduce drag), traverse the slopers (couple of cams) across to the top ledge of Old Chicken and Hang ten (clip bolt), across Tidal Wave to Baby Gorilla (clip belay on that) then across more slopers to go up the big crack between that and Tantrum - lower off bolt at the top of the crack.

The climbing was my thing - Font 7B sloper action leading with my good arm. I weighed fuck all due to having been living on a beach for 6 months.

The difficulty was that the traverse crosses half a dozen of the most popular routes in the country. I had to work out how to get it so no one was on the routes, they had pulled their ropes and left my draws in place - on Baby Gorilla I wanted a long sling/draw left in so I didn't have to do a move up to the belay to clip, but this got in the way of anyone wanting to do the route.

Another difficulty was that if I fell from the first sloper crux, I swung right to the floor and scraped the sand - but this was where people sat around whilst not climbing, so I had to clear the area of people before attempting it.

Best option was to wait until the sun had just come on to the routes which usually meant that most people stopped climbing, but the rock on my traverse line had not yet warmed up. I promised people that I would put their ropes back in place after my attempt (very hard work in the sun) and asked them to leave my draws in place. Occasionally people would start up a route while I was heading towards it. Language difficulties combined with the fact that I was doing something totally pointless and not even properly bolted or in a guide book.

It took me a while to sort sequences that worked in the sun.

It took a few goes to finally link the lot - on my first successful redpoint, the long sling that I had arranged to dangle down from the belay of Baby Gorilla was in place, but there was no crab at the end of it, so I had to do a hard move up to clip the belay, move back down and carry on.

I was hot tired and fed up of trying to explain to 20 people per day what I would like them to do to help me. There was very little satisfaction in finally doing the thing.

A couple of days later someone was asking me about the traverse, so I did it again. this time everyone pulled ropes and left draws in place as asked. Even the sling down from the belay of Baby Gorilla was in place. The sun had not yet come onto the traverse ledge. It didn't feel very hard.

I have never put so much effort into any other send.

Stupid shuffling.

The outrageous tactic (for me) was the pestering and cajoling of so many other climbers to get my send

** edit  **

see this for topo

https://www.thecrag.com/climbing/thailand/krabi/area/15687961
« Last Edit: July 19, 2019, 11:32:01 pm by lagerstarfish »

Nibile

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Extended and taped draw is something I've thought of in the past.
Ha! I did the same as Sasq here at my local crag, ages ago. On a short, vertical route of 15 moves, to avoid hitting the deck if falling on the crux. I might even have a pic somewhere.

Fiend

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To be fair, wtf was Nibile doing on a rope?? That's some straying from the path of righteousness.

Kingy

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On my attempts at Kaabah the year before I did it, to improve the visibility of one of the key smears on the upper wall, I put a fluorescent orange sticky tag right next to it on my initial bolt to bolt go. I was so close into the wall on the move out left to gain the 'car body filler' undercut shared with the extension that looking down I couldn't properly see where the smear was for the next move without the tag flagging it up.

In the end, I got fed up of doing this every time and sacked it off, I guess the engram had become engrained into the subconscious!

shark

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When I was trying Raindogs on cold days I’d put my hands in the Beck to numb them out and force getting hot aches (something you never get used to) so the blood would rush back to my fingers in attempt to prevent my fingers en-route.

When trying Powerplant (long before kneepads) I strapped a piece of carpet to my thigh. Curiously hessian side up worked best.

Nibile

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To be fair, wtf was Nibile doing on a rope?? That's some straying from the path of righteousness.
True, true.
But I was young, bouldering was almost unknown here and for sure we didn't know where to practice it, and in the end the route was only 15 moves long, I'm quite sure it could highballed these days.
Shame I can't find the picture!

mrjonathanr

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I got up early once. It was to do Polka des Ringards before the sun hit the sloper.

Warmed up, clips in and redpointed by 8.30 am. Don’t think it’ll catch on.

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I've always loved your scooter assisted descents from remote bouldering spots.

I'm having brake issues at the moment.  Keep melting my wellies

Fiend

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This definitely needs a bump....

So, reading between the lines,  does this open the door to books strapped to feet as well then? As we used to joke about Brad pit sitter only being possible in a pair of garry glitter platforms for sub 6ft 2 types, i'm thinking a cable tied Dostoyevsky or two on the right foot would see you right on that as you're stood on a ledge with a colossal undercut. Maybe BB guns could complete the stanage guide with it literally helping him up marble wall? where there's a quill theres a way...

 :worms: This is such a grey area.... Bransby has previous form in this. He once took his chalk bag off mid bouldering comp and balanced it on the crucial foothold, enabling him to make the reach..... cool but not exactly legit.  Same goes for Indian creek splitters tape free is one thing taped is another and taped to fit yet another.... where do you stop! I’m saying a book isn’t legit( if it is Ben might well be on for the Stanage tick, he only needs a couple inch)

As this has gone totally off topic.

What about in situ kneepads? I remember watching Ted try and gaffa tape his kneepad to Bat Route (only to fall off about 5mins later). Surely you have to place the kneepad on lead? Or maybe it’s okay if you climb up, place it, then down climb back to the ground. However, Not sure how I would feel if he also tried to gaffa tape a bible to the kneepad as well. Maybe that’s too far?

Preserved for posterity. And let's not forget about Dave G's fucking hero fan carrier!

SA Chris

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I've tried to do a problem at Carrock Fell in just my pants. I was wearing jeans and couldn't get my foot high enough for a rock over. Not that the pants-only tactic worked, I still couldn't do the problem, but I got my foot on the hold.

I once stripped down to less than pants for the send. Nothing to do with difficulty, I was just alone in some boulders in South Africa in November and it felt apt. Have a self-timed slide somewhere..

Loos3-tools

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Long metal poles with carabiners on the end seem quite popular. Some people even carry them up the cliff wall on their harnesses. Clipping all fixed gear above their heads. They appear to be quite bad for building resilience to fear. I quite like the preplaced runner as a solid tactic when I’m to scared / crap / CBA to be involved in a purer experience. Can’t be as bad as the ubiquitous clip stick for a new level of sanitisation enabling the send

monkoffunk

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I've tried to do a problem at Carrock Fell in just my pants. I was wearing jeans and couldn't get my foot high enough for a rock over. Not that the pants-only tactic worked, I still couldn't do the problem, but I got my foot on the hold.

I once stripped down to less than pants for the send. Nothing to do with difficulty, I was just alone in some boulders in South Africa in November and it felt apt. Have a self-timed slide somewhere..

I once did that in desperation because I kept dabbing the pad in a low ball roof. Zero layers turned out to be the key to getting clearance. It was a quiet day, I think I got away with it...

SA Chris

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"clearance" ;)

tommytwotone

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One of the best excuses I've heard for falling off was that "I'm dressed the wrong side".

To be fair, after a bit of a rummage the problem got sent next go so it was probably legit!

SA Chris

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Yeah, that happens to me, having that massive weight off to one side puts me out of balance too.

mrjonathanr

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I was so concerned about using all my chalk on the green and greasy start, that I secreted an extra block of chalk under my beanie to crunch into my bag on the mid-height ledge.

Simply beautiful.

Just seen this. Paddington Fiend. I hope you gave that crux a really hard stare too.

Fiend

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IT gave ME a really hard stare to be honest....

Not been back to it yet either.

Rising acolyte of Lancs Bouldering, Joe Richards has been doing problems with two chalkbags on with different chalk in. Actually he says it's so he can brush the cheap stuff on to clean holds, whilst having posh friction labs powdered snake oil chalk for hand usage in the other bag. Which is all well and good but the concept of having two different chalks specifically for sweating differentials gets me really excited....

Ged

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I once took my jetboil stove up to the big shake out pocket on shadow walker In Cheddar gorge to try and dry it out. Turns out lots of accumulated chalk produces a reasonably big fire ball when heated with a stove, which is quite alarming when it goes near your rope.

Isn't there some tale of Don whillans strapping motorbike inner tubes to his thighs to try and shimmy up archangel?

DAVETHOMAS90

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Worth remembering.. @ 20:05

"People step off ladders and all sorts these days.." ;D



I should confess, there were a couple of projects I'd started, and the G offered to step in as a body double, to finish them off..



Some really fine tales here, I'll try to think of somthing.. meanwhile re:

I got up early once. It was to do Polka des Ringards before the sun hit the sloper.

Warmed up, clips in and redpointed by 8.30 am. Don’t think it’ll catch on.

Surely JR, that was just an excuse to hit the boulangerie early! Good inspiration to think of classics to tick though!

As for excuses for falling off, it was either Fatboyslimfast or Bubba who'd recall some dude falling off La Rose, crying "Chapped lips!", which I think is rather funny.




bigironhorse

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This is a bit of a failed tactic. Me and Steve R attempted the Staffs nose about 8 years ago, we drove over from Hull and decided to camp in the peak so we could get an early start. I ended up forgetting to pack a tent so we ended up biviing at Raven Tor. Don't know about Steve but I had about 10 mins sleep. Ended up doing 95% of the challenge after realising that 4 routes were bird banned midway through. Bit of a fiasco but I still don't know how we managed all those routes after such a crap nights sleep. We went for the full tick a few years later and failed miserably, I think I actually weeped a bit when I fell off Crack of Gloom.  :lol:

Wood FT

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I'd forgotten about that. It's only 8:20 am and that's made my day.  :lol:

 

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