Bit of a computer-gimp joke, but here it is:
URGENT VIRUS WARNING!
Can seriously damage your system....
Eighteen months ago I upgraded to Girlfriend 1.0 from Drinking Mates
4.2
which I'd used for years without any trouble whatsoever. However, there are
apparently conflicts between these two products and the only solution was
to
try and run Girlfriend 1.0 with the sound turned off.
But to make matters worse, Girlfriend 1.0 is also incompatible with
several
other applications, such as LadsNightOut 3.0, Football 2.1 and Playboy 6.1.
Successive versions of Girlfriend have proved no better. Shareware
beta-program, PartyGirl 2.1 had many bugs and left a virus on my system,
forcing me to shut down completely for several weeks. Eventually I tried to
run Girlfriend 1.0 and Girlfriend 1.2 at the same time only to discover
that
when these two systems detected each other they caused severe damage to all
of my hardware.
Looking for a way out, I upgraded to Fiancé 1.0 only to discover that
this
product has to be upgraded to Wife 1.0. This was a compromise because
whilst Wife 1.0 uses up all available resources, it does come with
"add-on's" such as FreeSex Plus and Cleanhouse 2000.
However, I discovered that Wife 1.0 can be very unstable and costly to
run.
For example, any mistakes I made were automatically stored in Wife
1.0's
memory and just cannot be deleted, they then resurface month's later.
Wife 1.0 also has an automatic Diary Explorer and E-mail pr0n filter
and
can, without warning, launch Photo-strop and Whinge-zip. The latter
products have no help files and require you to guess what the problem is
yourself.
Additional costly problems are that the Wife 1.0 bundle, that came with
the
original system, needs updating regularly, requiring ShoeShopBrowser Pro
for new attachments and HairstyleExpress needs to be reinstalled every
other week. Although quite costly these programs make Wife 1.0 run very
smoothly, however, every month without any warning whatsoever Wife 1.0
becomes very unstable. The problem seems to correct itself after a few
days. Puzzled with this I performed an analytical diagnostic to find out
why. The result was the same each time I ran it - the result window kept
saying "it just does!".
When Wife 1.0 attaches itself to my Automotive program it often crashes
or
runs the system dry. Furthermore, Wife 1.0 has a rather annoying pop-up
called Mother-in-Law, an annoying attachment which can't be turned off.
Recently I've been tempted to try Mistress 2000, but there could be
problems. I've discovered that if Wife 1.0 detects the presence of Mistress
2000 it will delete all MS Money files before un-installing itself.
Beware!
