[Fiend]

If you want a mixture between Free Solo and Hard Grit, well here you go. Chad Meetham on Feet Neat Left Hand Obverse Direct Variant Pitch 2, E6 6c, at Rivelin Quarries:

[Loos3-tools]

Somewhere hidden in a dingy dell, a little known gnome sits, in his own hell. Reciting poetry.



Tuesday Nights

Core, plank, rings and 1-4-7
Lycra leggings, she’s climbed V11
Sweat, throat, bad breath Social anxiety
‘I’ve got a boyfriend and he climbs 8B’

Out in gen-pop the MuscleFucks roam
Yoga party on the mat I call home
There’s that chap from the BMC
Please god I hope he talks to me

MuscleFuck walks past, nipples erect, chest bare
Hot under my T-shirt is matted body hair
Brushing a hold with a tear in my eye
Bald head, fat back I begin to cry

Turning to run and escape this hell
I stub my toe on a kettle bell
Red blobs overhead, laughing at me
Pitied by MuscleFuck and Mrs 8B

[tommytwotone]

.

[Will Hunt]

I have to say I enjoyed that immensely.

[SA Chris]

Better than the stuff those Volgons write.

[teestub]

Better than the stuff those Volgons write.

Oh freddled gruntbuggly,
Thy micturations are to me, (with big yawning)
As plurdled gabbleblotchits, in midsummer morning
On a lurgid bee,
That mordiously hath blurted out,
Its earted jurtles, grumbling
Into a rancid festering confectious organ squealer. [drowned out by moaning and screaming]
Now the jurpling slayjid agrocrustles,
Are slurping hagrilly up the axlegrurts,
And living glupules frart and stipulate,
Like jowling meated liverslime,
Groop, I implore thee, my foonting turlingdromes,
And hooptiously drangle me,
With crinkly bindlewurdles,mashurbitries.
Or else I shall rend thee in the gobberwarts with my blurglecruncheon,
See if I don't!

[abarro81]

Bet no girl doing 147 only climbs v11 though.. need to run the poetry through the lattice database next time to align the metrics

[tomtom]

Nice poetry Dan.

[Loos3-tools]

Being as it’s an old tick list thread and sand is the new grit, while Shropshire is the new Chew, and Barrows is on about lattice metrics, I dug up this....

The tick list

Extending from me
A limbless tree
Listed the things
I hope to be

Get with the program
For another day
Limit max goals
Flush life away

This is the peak?
Or maybe a trough
Periodised life
The soul is lost

Oh for a tick list
How I yearn for thee
Fuck you Lattice
At last I’m free

[Loos3-tools]

https://www.instagram.com/p/CKRthBjhcYG/

Tick list survivor

[Loos3-tools]

A collection of stuff, some old some new. All views are my own etc etc. Posted for a great guy who reminded me this is a climbing forum 💗

https://musclecoach1000.wixsite.com/omniconsumerproducts


https://musclecoach1000.wixsite.com/omniconsumerproducts/post/altered-states-of-consciousness-and-climbing-life-pt-1

[Loos3-tools]

Scientists do science

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=fxjNQZFrthw&feature=youtu.be

[Loos3-tools]

How do I attach photos / Images etc here?
Thanks

[teestub]

Need to upload to an image hosting site like imgur then get the .jpg link and use the little Mona Lisa symbol for the image brackets.  Or if you already have them on your website you should be able to get the .jpg link from there.

[Will Hunt]

If you've had the 5G vaccine you just think really hard about putting the image here and it appears.

[Loos3-tools]

Climbing Archetype Self Evaluation System

Since the dawn of ages when the Great Ape transmogrified and human consciousness was in its infancy the archetype existed to guide and mould. For the modern flow based climbing communiteer, archetypes such as the inbetweener, the rebel and the embittered perennial funny man serve as relics of a bygone age. Barely recognisable to the athletes of today, in their arena carved of foam, bolt, bloc and plastic. Sporting multicoloured flow charts allowing movement towards a ‘performance peak’. A new system needed to emerge, multifunctional, self directed, outward looking with everybody on the same page. Here ‘Nobby’ our director of training and qualified emergentics Miers Briggs ‘Finisher Maker’ has taken a break from working Tom’s Original to bring you a comprehensive guide to the contemporary community archetype from right out side the box. Straight from the anal’s of Jungian counterculture where do you place on this multi-tiered, forward thinking, intracranial and interchangeable analysis tool. Do we ‘need to have a conversation around that’ yes we fucking do.

Transcended

Manic / disorientated

Journeyman / pretender / ‘lone wolf’

Dogger / mutual masturbator / conformist

Grade grabber / neoliberal consumer

Lattice freak / flow peddler

Ego-defender / liar / narcissist

Sycophant ‘arse licker’ / deluded

[mrjonathanr]

Are you a Jungian sociologue or a climber? Hemingway wrote that

There are only three sports: bullfighting, motor racing, and mountaineering; all the rest are merely games.

People can take their games terribly seriously if they want to; it's what the Olympics were created for- internationally licensed one-upmanship.

You can stick to your sport if you want to. Just live and let live (so long as you don't muff the runout of course).

[Loos3-tools]

What did Ken say? Sport climbing, it isn’t sport and it isn’t climbing.

[mrjonathanr]

 

You should do a T shirt run with What Would Ken Say? emblazoned on it.

(edit: say, not do)