[tomtom]

Maybe a 2017 project for Haydn would be to make an ascent of Mecca every month this year, eating/drinking a seasonal themed item in the kneebar each time (with photo).

Suggestions:

Jan - leftover turkey
Feb - pancakes
Mar - welshcakes
Apr - easter egg
May - new potatoes
Jun - icecream (ideally a 99 cone)
Jul - strawberries & cream
Aug - bilberry tart
Sep - blackberry & apple pie
Oct - tankard of german beer
Nov - bonfire toffee
Dec - xmas cake

Good idea but new potatoes? I think I'm May Haydn should take up a scone, little tub of clotted cream and jam. Then whilst in Knee bar cut the scone in half, and put cream then jam on one side and jam then cream on the other and then report which tastes best. And continue.

[nai]

how is that better than hanging out of the kneebar while his potatoes cook?

[dave]

Good idea but new potatoes? I think I'm May Haydn should take up a scone, little tub of clotted cream and jam. Then whilst in Knee bar cut the scone in half, and put cream then jam on one side and jam then cream on the other and then report which tastes best. And continue.

In idea in principle but it raises two issues. One, we'd have to settle the pronunciation issue, which given the post-fact world we live in, Brexit, Trump, uppercase for bouldering grades, I fear the decision could go the wrong way.

Also we'd have to settle on what permutation of butter/jam/cream and what variety of cream and what flavour of jam was acceptable, which could take longer than the time available before May.

[Yossarian]

Maybe a 2017 project for Haydn would be to make an ascent of Mecca every month this year, eating/drinking a seasonal themed item in the kneebar each time (with photo).

Suggestions:

Jan - leftover turkey
Feb - pancakes
Mar - welshcakes
Apr - easter egg
May - new potatoes
Jun - icecream (ideally a 99 cone)
Jul - strawberries & cream
Aug - bilberry tart
Sep - blackberry & apple pie
Oct - tankard of german beer
Nov - bonfire toffee
Dec - xmas cake

Nabbing this for my goals for 2017...

[duncan]

Maybe a 2017 project for Haydn would be to make an ascent of Mecca every month this year, eating/drinking a seasonal themed item in the kneebar each time (with photo).

Suggestions:

Jan - leftover turkey
Feb - pancakes
Mar - welshcakes
Apr - easter egg
May - new potatoes
Jun - icecream (ideally a 99 cone)
Jul - strawberries & cream
Aug - bilberry tart
Sep - blackberry & apple pie
Oct - tankard of german beer
Nov - bonfire toffee
Dec - xmas cake

Nabbing this for my goals for 2017...

With or without Mecca?

[Yossarian]

I'll face Mecca when I'm eating them...

[tommytwotone]

Good idea but new potatoes? I think I'm May Haydn should take up a scone, little tub of clotted cream and jam. Then whilst in Knee bar cut the scone in half, and put cream then jam on one side and jam then cream on the other and then report which tastes best. And continue.

In idea in principle but it raises two issues. One, we'd have to settle the pronunciation issue, which given the post-fact world we live in, Brexit, Trump, uppercase for bouldering grades, I fear the decision could go the wrong way.

Also we'd have to settle on what permutation of butter/jam/cream and what variety of cream and what flavour of jam was acceptable, which could take longer than the time available before May.

I hope you're not suggesting we hold some some kind of UKB S-Cone / S-Gone referendum Dave?

[slackline]

Good idea but new potatoes? I think I'm May Haydn should take up a scone, little tub of clotted cream and jam. Then whilst in Knee bar cut the scone in half, and put cream then jam on one side and jam then cream on the other and then report which tastes best. And continue.

In idea in principle but it raises two issues. One, we'd have to settle the pronunciation issue, which given the post-fact world we live in, Brexit, Trump, uppercase for bouldering grades, I fear the decision could go the wrong way.

All pronunciations are valid, It just depends on where you live...

[Muenchener]

what flavour of jam was acceptable.

For scones? Anything other than strawberry? Have you gone completely insane?

[petejh]

Some very large swings in pronunciation of the scone there in Ireland, particularly in county Mayo - one side of a street to another. The Scottish influence?

[dave]

what flavour of jam was acceptable.

For scones? Anything other than strawberry? Have you gone completely insane?

This is exactly what I'm talking about.

[tommytwotone]

I had a lovely savoury cream tea in Croyde a few years back that was cheese scone (*s-gone*), cream cheese and chilli jam. Just saying.

[tomtom]

Fucking dicks... THE scone based controversy for the millennium is jam under cream or cream under jam... rtfm.

[standard]

split.

[dave]

Fucking dicks... THE scone based controversy for the millennium is jam under cream or cream under jam... rtfm.

And where butter comes into the equation, and the totally different set of rules depending on if it's whipped or clotted cream.

[haydn jones]

Its clearly  jam then cream.

[sdm]

Its clearly  jam then cream.

It clearly depends on the consistency of the jam and the cream.

Whichever is more solid goes on first.

[BrutusTheBear]

Hush Northern folk you have no idea.  Devonshire cream teas = cream first.  Cornish = jam first.  Clearly Devonians have it correct.  You shouldn't be eating cream teas elsewhere.

[measles23]

I'm hearing the blue blob around Stoke, only sc-owns rather than s-cones, as in:
"Aah-rate dook, ist tha scowns fa tee thineet, a cud et an hos?"

(Adapted from 'arfur tow crate in staffy chur' - indispensable if you want to understand one word in ten the leek lads are saying)

Of course scones are banned in the land of the oatcake

[dave]

Hush Northern folk you have no idea.  Devonshire cream teas = cream first.  Cornish = jam first.  Clearly Devonians have it correct.  You shouldn't be eating cream teas elsewhere.

Assuming we're talking clotted cream here? Cos good luck putting jam on top of whipped cream.

[tomtom]

Hush Northern folk you have no idea.  Devonshire cream teas = cream first.  Cornish = jam first.  Clearly Devonians have it correct.  You shouldn't be eating cream teas elsewhere.

Assuming we're talking clotted cream here? Cos good luck putting jam on top of whipped cream.

But of course! Tsk

Maybe a 2017 project for Haydn would be to make an ascent of Mecca every month this year, eating/drinking a seasonal themed item in the kneebar each time (with photo).

Suggestions:

Jan - leftover turkey
Feb - pancakes
Mar - welshcakes
Apr - easter egg
May - new potatoes
Jun - icecream (ideally a 99 cone)
Jul - strawberries & cream
Aug - bilberry tart
Sep - blackberry & apple pie
Oct - tankard of german beer
Nov - bonfire toffee
Dec - xmas cake

Good idea but new potatoes? I think I'm May Haydn should take up a scone, little tub of clotted cream and jam. Then whilst in Knee bar cut the scone in half, and put cream then jam on one side and jam then cream on the other and then report which tastes best. And continue.

[dave]

Its clearly  jam then cream.

You see if there's no butter supplied then I would tend to put clotted cream on first as it kind of acts as a butterm sealing the scone surface of crumbs etc. Then jam can be gingerly applied on top. Otherwise the jam can just crumb-up the scone surface and then you're fucked. Obviously this does depend on other variables like the ambient temp, consistency of the clotted cream and the jam.

[BrutusTheBear]

Hush Northern folk you have no idea.  Devonshire cream teas = cream first.  Cornish = jam first.  Clearly Devonians have it correct.  You shouldn't be eating cream teas elsewhere.

Assuming we're talking clotted cream here? Cos good luck putting jam on top of whipped cream.

  The above response only goes to affirm your northerness, this is a question that need not be asked & whilst we're at it we shouldn't include butter in this equation either.

[BrutusTheBear]

Hush Northern folk you have no idea.  Devonshire cream teas = cream first.  Cornish = jam first.  Clearly Devonians have it correct.  You shouldn't be eating cream teas elsewhere.

Assuming we're talking clotted cream here? Cos good luck putting jam on top of whipped cream.

  The above response only goes to affirm your northerness, this is a question that need not be asked & whilst we're at it we shouldn't include butter in this equation either.

[moose]

Hush Northern folk you have no idea.  Devonshire cream teas = cream first.  Cornish = jam first.  Clearly Devonians have it correct.  You shouldn't be eating cream teas elsewhere.

.... unless you are eating the Yorkshire equivalent: the mighty Fat Rascal.  Like a scone but larger, with a more rock-bun-like texture, decorated with with glace cherries and almonds, damn good on its own or split in half and buttered / slathered with jam and cream.

[BrutusTheBear]

Hush Northern folk you have no idea.  Devonshire cream teas = cream first.  Cornish = jam first.  Clearly Devonians have it correct.  You shouldn't be eating cream teas elsewhere.

.... unless you are eating the Yorkshire equivalent: the mighty Fat Rascal.  Like a scone but larger, with a more rock-bun-like texture, decorated with with glace cherries and almonds, damn good on its own or split in half and buttered / slathered with jam and cream.

  Can someone translate please?

[SA Chris]

Unless it's a warm Rowie with butter and jam it ain't nothing.

[tomtom]

This thread is overbaked now.

[SEDur]

I don't understand who would even consider whipped cream. Clotted is the only way!

S-cone, strawberry jam, clotted cream, and a sprinkle of black pepper on the cream.

Tis the royal Ascot way!

Sent from my GT-I9195 using Tapatalk

[Paul B]

Pre-session scone with cherry jam yesterday - maybe this is why my finger hurts, I've been cursed for such ridiculous behavior?

[tomtom]

Father in law had some 'mixed jam' at the weekend - it was ace. Basically the bits of different flavors of jam left over after a massive summer jam making session - all lumped together and mixed up. Superb.

[dave]

Father in law had some 'mixed jam' at the weekend - it was ace. Basically the bits of different flavors of jam left over after a massive summer jam making session - all lumped together and mixed up. Superb.

I think that's literally what the supermarkets do.

[Durbs]

Who the fuck is putting on butter AND (clotted) cream on their s'gones?

(Scone, C-cream, jam)

You'll be making it into a scone sandwich next

[dave]

If I've paid for it and it arrives with butter AND cream then it's all going on. Always clear your plate.

[Obi-Wan is lost...]

Grew up in Cornwall, Gran lives on Exmoor, Somerset. Was basically weaned straight onto cream teas. Never been bothered about the scone/s-gone debate, they taste the same whichever way you say it, scones have to be large and fresh, ideally home made and still warm, falling apart is acceptable as long as they taste fine, most shop bought ones are too salty, some butter is fine, lightly spread, (marg is not acceptable) the highest quality strawberry jam is correct, other very high quality jams are also acceptable (especially if home made) but not correct. Jam must go on first, purely so you can maximise the amount of finest quality Roddas clotted cream. The height of combined cream/jam/butter/scone tower should be too high to fit in mouth without making a big mess on your upper lip. If you don't feel full and slightly sick after eating your two halves, either the scones weren't big enough or you didn't put enough cream on.

If any heathen ever tries to serve me any double/whipped/squirty cream nonsense they'll be fucking hell to pay. Been known to reject called 'cream teas' back when they don't meet regulations. Fucking heathens.

Tea rooms/gardens that still do it properly are dying out in place ones that serve mini pots of jam and sachets of cream, there are some classic places still available, though I've yet to find one that quite matches the legendary status of the long gone Lee Bay tea garden which served teas on massive trays with mountains of clotted cream and jam and after a long day on the beach it was a regular (successful!) challenge for our extended family of 15+ to clear everything.

[BrutusTheBear]

Tea rooms/gardens that still do it properly are dying out in place ones that serve mini pots of jam and sachets of cream, there are some classic places still available, though I've yet to find one that quite matches the legendary status of the long gone Lee Bay tea garden which served teas on massive trays with mountains of clotted cream and jam and after a long day on the beach it was a regular (successful!) challenge for our extended family of 15+ to clear everything.

.  Errr.  There be a tea room and garden at the Lee Bay near the Valley of the Rocks which is very good...  but I think you're thinking of the hotel at Lee Bay near  Ilfracombe.  It closed about 8 years ago, actually had my wedding booked there but it went tits up.  Lucky to get our money back! There's also some very good off piste coastal bouldering in the vicinity of the tea rooms that are open but that's off topic.

[Obi-Wan is lost...]

I know there are still a few around there, the legendary one was in this garden, right at the top of the path from the beach...
https://goo.gl/maps/x6vuAmPqNaT2

We are probably talking decades ago rather than years since it closed. 

[moose]

@Obi Wan is lost

Quite. Briilliant.

I'll admit thought that the cream tea that has endured most in my memory is one I had in youthful trad days. A 1.5 hr slog to a Lakes crag through a bog, did one route, it rained, then a 1.5 hr slog back through a bog in the drizzle.  But eating a cream tea afterwards, in gentile surroundings, covered in filth and looking like someone who'd barely survived an earthquake made it worthwhile - despite the cursed "mini pots of jam and sachets of cream". Since then,  I've taken a slightly puerile pleasure in matching  my hardest days with eating slightly effete foodstuffs  (cream teas, towering sundaes etc) in posh surroundings.

[Obi-Wan is lost...]

...eating slightly effete foodstuffs  (cream teas, towering sundaes etc) in posh surroundings.

cheers Moose, you remind me of a classic afternoon in the late '90s driving around North Devon in the desperate hunt for an open tea room. I had a German mate over who has a penchant for all things English as well as (at the time) an interesting taste in long hair and indie t-shirts. After about an hour of 'not at this time of year' we happened across a classy small hotel with a 'open for teas' sign. Looking a right state the three of us enquired if we could have tea, we were graciously invited in to a very upmarket sitting room where we enjoyed the very finest afternoon tea we could dream for with sandwiches, scones and excellent endless tea. Still have a photo somewhere of some scruffy young fellas with stupid grins on their faces and their pinkies in the air.

[SA Chris]

making a big mess on your upper lip

fnarr fnarr

[duncan]

BITD the Rectory Tea Rooms in Morwenstow was our gold standard for this delicacy. Just inside Cornwall, as the image makes clear (jam then cream).

That must be from the 90s, those puffins are looking a lot more creased and faded now. Like the rest of us.





The Rectory Tea Rooms are still the benchmark. I seem to have done the culinary equivalent of placing Lower Sharpnose in Devon though...

[Obi-Wan is lost...]

Points for scone size, the lads definitely got a job fitting it in his mouth, however that's definitely jam on top and there's virtually no evidence of cream at all. I would expect the cream to be up to his nose in this pic. Back around...