[Luke Owens]

Perfectly possible to climb harder after having kids, if some or more of the following are true, the more the better:
- you don't leave having kids till you're relatively old
- you weren't some kind of child prodigy who peaked at 17 and then slid downhill.
- you climbed/trained/ate in a lackadaisical fashion before kids, and can be more focussed/methodical afterwards.
- reasonably understanding other half, or at least not be a completely pussywhipped motherfucker.
- not have a job that requires you work a ridiculous number of hours a week/evenings/weekends.
- have got good local crags.
- go bouldering a lot.
- be prepared to go out on your own a lot, often at unsociable times.
- have some mates in a similar boat, mutual motivation.
- have absolutely no interest in participating in any other sports, especially cycling.

I'm not sure if T_B's comment was directed at me but this list is spot on Dave and it exactly describes me.

I'm guessing I'm one of the younger Dad's on here being 27?

I go out a lot when the kids are in bed, although about a month ago I did question my sanity when I was sat in Parisella's Cave on my own at 11:45pm still trying Left Wall...

[dave]

I'm guessing I'm one of the younger Dad's on here being 27?

Possibly, but I was 28 when our eldest was born, so it's not crazy young.

27 is grandparent age in Doncaster afterall.

[Luke Owens]

27 is grandparent age in Doncaster afterall.

 

[shurt]

i agree with what dave said. Its harder with kids and you have to be more organised. life changes, you can't just go climbing every weekend as you did before kids or a relationship. For me personally I value getting out climbing far more than I ever did so train harder for those times and am more motivated when I get out to make the most of the day regardless of wind, cold, rain etc. I'm climbing harder than I ever have in pretty much every department. I thought T_B s post was pretty neggo on the whole.
For balance I do know a fair few climbers who have sacked off climbing since kids as they want an easy life and they would rather not negotiate with their partner/wife. Having an equal relationship takes work and is often not the path of least resistance. My partner is not a door mat, far from it, but I get out climbing 2 or 3 times a month (often only for a morning) and that seems fair considering our situation.

[rodma]

Bit easier for me, since we both climb.

Sent from my E5823 using Tapatalk

[T_B]

How does that make it easier?

[rodma]

How does that make it easier?

we can go out climbing together taking the wee guy with us, have training facilities at home, understand what we're each trying to achieve etc.


Edit: just to clarify that we weren't leaving our child at home

[monkoffunk]

In font last April there was a couple with a baby, and the dad was looking after him while the mum was trying a 7A+. Seemed like a good set up! Don't think that kids mean the end of days. I'll probably end up with some in a few years, I'm definitely going to sort out a decent home set up at that stage, and try and stick around Dorset with the girlfriends parents near by. She isn't a doormat either, far from it, and balance will need to be found!

[SA Chris]

I'm guessing I'm one of the younger Dad's on here being 27?

Possibly, but I was 28 when our eldest was born, so it's not crazy young.

27 is grandparent age in Doncaster afterall.

With my first at 40, i guess that puts me on a par with Doncaster great grandparents!

[shark]

The ten commandments. Is your surname MacLeod ? 

I scored ten out of ten (assuming 34 isn't relatively old).

Watch this space.

Hmmm. Only six and a bit. Is that why I am plateau'd at/ below 8a, rather than being very close on an 8b?

Do you want an honest answer? I'm going to give you one anyway.

First re point 6 you have only recently ("recently" relative to our respective timespans) moved close to crags being in UAE and London before for those that dont know.

Secondly (point 7) the obvious area of potential gain (which we have repeatedly told you) is that you refuse to boulder (with lame excuses) despite having better quality bouldering than sport climbing on your doorstep. I have learnt to almost love bouldering and Im sure you can too. Its taken time for me and I know my approach isnt perfect but even so I've got two V/Font grades better. Your latest project was difficult because of the crux yes?. That should be a big clue in your face. Also when I say go bouldering I mean properly embrace it and get involved and don't potter with it in a token fashion. One of the things about bouldering is that it can make you try really hard. I don't think this was a lesson for me but it is for you. I do think that you can dig deeper and get extra performance from what you've already got though you almost certainly wont accept that's the case. Everyone thinks they try hard and keep trying hard but I believe only a handful I know really do. This applies to most climbers including very good ones.     

You are capable of 8b. You have physical advantages over me (mass and finger strength). That 8b may not be in Squamish. The grades are harsh and bloc style which doesn't suit you but you can definitely do it and I wouldn't say it if I didn't believe it.

[andy_e]

Great. Of the two insect overlords of UKBouldering, one refuses to boulder and the other "almost loves" bouldering...

[Fiend]

TBH I'm not sure sharkypops is the best sales pitch for being very close to F8b....I wonder how many people have given up on the idea of hard redpointing since he started posting the dedicated but gruelling progress reports on here (I'm one!)  .


BTW with Breakfast I find the key is to turn the right heel-toe thing into a drag along the face to control the swing, also do it when it was still V5, and in a snowstorm, that worked for me.

[shark]

Great. Of the two insect overlords of UKBouldering, one refuses to boulder and the other "almost loves" bouldering...

We are open to offers

[petejh]

The kids thing.. I thought about it quite deeply for the last five or so years and came to being completely happy with the idea of not passing on my genes to another gene container a.k.a. 'a child'.  My genes can die with me, I'm definitely fine with that. It took a few years of doubt to reach that point.

I'm of the mind that if I'd had kids in my twenties it would have been great (climbing would have suffered), but I don't want them now that I'm older and I don't feel like I'm going to regret anything.

My present situation has made me question how crucial being a blood parent is to having a good close bond with a partner's children. Aldous Huxley's description of multi-parenting in 'Island' resonates with me. Adoption, fostering and step-fathering a partner's child are options for those that don't want their own kids.

My current partner's daughter is ten. We get on really well. Her father's out of the picture -that probably helps. It feels really good - the best feeling - that I'm getting to know and love a little 'un and she's getting to know me. I'm really enjoying seeing her grow and flourish, helping her discover cool things like travelling around, routes, bouldering and camping, seeing her do well in tests etc. I love seeing things through her eyes. TBH I think the father is missing out on something magical and I'm getting to enjoy it instead. I'm lucky that both she and her mum are super active and love the outdoors and adventure.. (although finding someone like that wasn't just sheer good fortune you make your own to some extent).

That said.. I feel really lucky that I'm getting to enjoy all the best bits of children without having had to endure the shittier parts of parenting a young child e.g. no sleep, lack of spare time and big restrictions on my life. Win-win in my estimation, I've got the best of both worlds!

I know that will come across as weird to some. Fine with me.

I do think folk who end up having kids - perhaps just letting it happen for the sake of a relationship - and then not being particularly ecstatic with their situation are either: a bit careless, a bit lacking in aspiration, a bit crazy, or a bit unlucky. A not totally unknown scenario.

All said I completely get that for the majority of parents having children is genuinely the best thing that ever happened to them. But it isn't the only path.


Fiend Shark's decade-long inch warfare siege of Oak is hardly typical of the redpointing process.. He probably could have done 20 8as in that time had he not spent so many hundreds of days not climbing Oak and then been ready to up it to 8b this year for the same result... Ondra's advice of 10 days of attempts then sack it off and come back later is good advice I think.

[T_B]

I do think folk who end up having kids - perhaps just letting it happen for the sake of a relationship - and then not being particularly ecstatic with their situation are either: a bit careless, a bit lacking in aspiration, a bit crazy, or a bit unlucky. A not totally unknown scenario.

Or possibly selfish? My 'neggo' post above comes from seeing climbing parents who in my view should spend a bit less time focussing on their climbing and more time engaging with their kids. Why does it bother me? Well, because they don't seem that happy. It's not easy getting the balance of course (hey, I'm going to Peru for 3 weeks this summer (work ), so I'm not exactly the model parent), but IMO a lot of frustration and angst comes from being too goal-orientated and that can impact negatively on both your partner and children. We all want to climb at a decent standard, but I'd rather have a happy family and not climb 8b+ than have a miserable family so that I can log Mecca on my scorecard (not directed at you petejh!). I have friends who are 'planning' to have kids, yet don't seem that interested as they're so focussed on their own ambitions. I wonder whether they should have them?! So, sorry if I'm lukewarm about the whole 'more psyched than I've ever been' since having kids vibe, as I personally don't see how it can be a positive thing.

[Johnny Brown]

a bit careless, a bit lacking in aspiration, a bit crazy, or a bit unlucky

Or naive. It's hardly try before you buy is it?

I am not goal-orientated at all but the feeling of having limited control over your time and commitments is not an easy one to get used to.

[Luke Owens]

I do think folk who end up having kids - perhaps just letting it happen for the sake of a relationship - and then not being particularly ecstatic with their situation are either: a bit careless, a bit lacking in aspiration, a bit crazy, or a bit unlucky. A not totally unknown scenario.

Or possibly selfish? My 'neggo' post above comes from seeing climbing parents who in my view should spend a bit less time focussing on their climbing and more time engaging with their kids. Why does it bother me? Well, because they don't seem that happy. It's not easy getting the balance of course (hey, I'm going to Peru for 3 weeks this summer (work ), so I'm not exactly the model parent), but IMO a lot of frustration and angst comes from being too goal-orientated and that can impact negatively on both your partner and children. We all want to climb at a decent standard, but I'd rather have a happy family and not climb 8b+ than have a miserable family so that I can log Mecca on my scorecard (not directed at you petejh!). I have friends who are 'planning' to have kids, yet don't seem that interested as they're so focussed on their own ambitions. I wonder whether they should have them?! So, sorry if I'm lukewarm about the whole 'more psyched than I've ever been' since having kids vibe, as I personally don't see how it can be a positive thing.

So you're presuming someone like me doesn't spend enough time with my kids and that I have an un-happy family because I'm focused on something that I enjoy doing as well as having a family?

[petejh]

Doubt it Luke, I think TB's thinking of some folk closer to where he's based who perhaps obsess over ticking something at Malham or the Tor perhaps at the expense of enjoying their parenthood to a fuller extent.

It's totally fine to ignore your kids for N.Wales Lime..

[Nibile]

Split please.

[Teaboy]

In the interests of balance I think it's worth pointing out that it is possible to be childless and really shit at climbing

[Nibile]

Hey.
I'd say from Nai's post regarding having a child and climbing stronger, but then I've seen that there are other posts on training and not on kids, so maybe it's not feasible.
Anyway, if someone else likes to discuss the kids/climbing stronger issue maybe it's worth.
Cheers anyway.

Oh, and go bouldering.

[Fiend]

Technical grade for the split? And would it be easier without offspring?

[Doylo]

Re kids- from what I gather the crucial thing is living close to crags. Having said that I try to sit on the microwave when I can and keep my mobile in my pocket.

[Doylo]

. Ondra's advice of 10 days of attempts then sack it off and come back later is good advice I think.

I don't. There wouldn't be many hard routes in Wales or the Uk if people stopped at ten days. It's easy for Ondra to say, he can climb 9b in 3.

[monkoffunk]

Did anyone read Tom Randall's thing in climber? I don't think he is neglecting his kids. You have to rest some time...