[Andy B]

After receiving an unsolicited insulting personal message from Tom O'Rourke, I'm feeling bullied and intimidated. What is UKB's policy on this sort of thing please?

[Falling Down]

Out of order.  Tom, you need to see a GP and then a psychiatrist.

[Sloper]

After receiving an unsolicited insulting personal message from Tom O'Rourke, I'm feeling bullied and intimidated. What is UKB's policy on this sort of thing please?

I think I suggested that you read some history and called you an idiot.  If you're feeling bullied and intimidated I suggest that you, in addition to reading some history, also buy a dictionary.  If you want to engage in childish 'ooh have a punter point' when you clearly don't understand the issues, fine.

I'm not sure if we know each other 'in the flesh' if we don't please introduce yourself so I can call you an idiot to your face, explain why you're an idiot and do it sensibly over a pint.  As long as you don't bring that boy band impersonator, champagne socialist and Brighton fan along I'm sure it will be fine.

[shark]

After receiving an unsolicited insulting personal message from Tom O'Rourke, I'm feeling bullied and intimidated. What is UKB's policy on this sort of thing please?

Hi Andy,

We don't have a policy but if you go to your profile then under the modify profile list on the left go to "buddies/ignore list" and you should be able to add Sloper to your ignore list. Check Personal messaging to ensure it is set to receive message from "All members, except those on the ignore list" which is the default setting anyway.

HTH

[Andy B]

Does, the ignore button work in real life too? As he's now threatening to abuse me to my face too! Is there no end to his aggression!?!

[shark]

Does, the ignore button work in real life too? As he's now threatening to abuse me to my face too! Is there no end to his aggression!?!

I think the ignore feature means you cant see his posts.

In real life your stacked physique would have the required effect 

[Andy B]

Does, the ignore button work in real life too? As he's now threatening to abuse me to my face too! Is there no end to his aggression!?!

I think the ignore feature means you cant see his posts.

In real life your stacked physique would have the required effect

Thanks, I think you're body's lovely too.

[andyd]

After receiving an unsolicited insulting personal message from Tom O'Rourke, I'm feeling bullied and intimidated. What is UKB's policy on this sort of thing please?

Hi Andy,

We don't have a policy but if you go to your profile then under the modify profile list on the left go to "buddies/ignore list" and you should be able to add Sloper to your ignore list. Check Personal messaging to ensure it is set to receive message from "All members, except those on the ignore list" which is the default setting anyway.

HTH

Genius! Perhaps we could default all of Sloper's hate comments to the ignore list for new members. That way people can choose when they want to have someone being unnecessarily aggressive and unkind to them.

[GCW]

I'm sorry if I'm being over sensitive, but surely bullying is wrong? If someone feels intimidated, that's not a healthy place to be. This isn't me having a go at Sloper or anyone else, but personally I feel that UKB has been less friendly recently (as my recent "dicks" incident will support).

Play nicely or fuck off.

[AndyR]

What is UKB's policy on this sort of thing please?

Did Sloper get his lad out?

[rginns]

I'm sorry if I'm being over sensitive, but surely bullying is wrong? If someone feels intimidated, that's not a healthy place to be. This isn't me having a go at Sloper or anyone else, but personally I feel that UKB has been less friendly recently (as my recent "dicks" incident will support).

Play nicely or fuck off.

+1
interesting thread

[Paul B]

The implementation of the ignore list is fairly poor in SMF.

[GCW]

Just playing devil's advocate here but I think if you punter somebody, it's not unreasonable to get a PM in response. Arguably it's not really an "unsolicited" PM.

I see your point here, although I'm still not sure that sending someone a nasty PM is fair play. Not being specific, but it's easy to misinterpret a post and send a shitty PM which is undeserved. That's the problem with the emotionless flatline of the net.

I would still say that sending someone a personal message with negative connotations is still bordering on bullying.

It's not about being consensus-ey, it's about etiquette, manners, politeness and having some degree of respect for others.

[tomtom]

Wad/Punter points are public - as are the comments associated with them.
PM's are not.

Its a small difference - and might not have any impact in what users post in them - but it is a notable difference nonetheless...

[Stubbs]

I agree with TT, if you are going to try and get tough guy with somebody at least do it in the public fora so we can all have a good laugh at the posturing.

[andyh]

+1 for banning him. This is a poll right?

[Falling Down]

No bans this isn't Pravda...

[andy popp]

No bans this isn't Pravda...

+1

[slackline]

Just playing devil's advocate here but I think if you punter somebody, it's not unreasonable to get a PM in response. Arguably it's not really an "unsolicited" PM.

I've done this in the past when receiving a puntering in an attempt to better understand what it is that caused annoyance to the punterer since the comments associated with wad/punter points are limited in content.

I've never (purposefully) been confrontational and have been grateful for the explanations and borne them in mind subsequently.

Usually its because I was being a dick. 

[dave]

Unfortunately adding Sloper to the ignore/twat list works fine in the web version for me but not via tapatalk. I'm going to have to resort to gaffertaping over the screen on my phone.

[Teaboy]

Have you considered gaffertaping Sloper instead?

[Fiend]

 

[Johnny Brown]

Few things annoy me more than unsolicited PMs regarding forum posts or wad/puntering. Its a forum. If you can't discuss it publicly, don't bother.

[rodma]

Few things annoy me more than unsolicited PMs regarding forum posts or wad/puntering. Its a forum. If you can't discuss it publicly, don't bother.

 

I received something recently from someone clearly not wanting an open discussion about something pretty trivial, so i laughed and ignored it.

[lagerstarfish]

you could always threaten to blow his anonymity on the Daily Mail forum

[SA Chris]

Whether it's regarded as bullying or abusive, there's no need. Just an underhanded way of taking a cheap shot without exposing yourself to other forum users seeing what you are doing.

[Doylo]

It's a bit oversensitive sending a pm because you've been puntered

[slackline]

It's a bit oversensitive sending a pm because you've been puntered

Unless you want to understand why you were puntered in the first place, particularly if you might consider changing your behaviour in the future.

[Monolith]

I hope people don't think it is unreasonable to receive unsolicited PMs from moderators?

I found Shark's recent approach to me to be a bit disconcerting.

[shark]

That's meant to be our special secret   

[tomtom]

He sent that to me too! Shark = busted.

[rginns]

It's a bit oversensitive sending a pm because you've been puntered

[psychomansam]

 

Few things annoy me more than unsolicited PMs regarding forum posts or wad/puntering. Its a forum. If you can't discuss it publicly, don't bother.

I think it's more a case of, as me old mam would say,  "If you don't have anything nice to say, then don't say anything at all"

Just to be clear I'm open to all offers of money, goods and services for free, am open to praise and adulation and am perfectly happy for you to grovel in gratitude for the endless wisdom/drivel I produce.

Else you can, as my better half would say, 'Fack off!'

[slackline]

I consider forums be akin to a pub where you chat with people, some times its serious, others its shooting the shit.

At pubs Often you're out with a group who you know and some you might know better than others, whilst others in the pub you might not know at all.  If there is something interesting that some people are talking about I might go and join in the conversation.

However you (or at least I) don't sit in the pub shouting my at the top of my voice so that all can hear just because its a public house, people can have private conversations in public places the world over.  Sometimes I only want to talk to one or two people and that is where the Personal Messaging system has a role to play.  If that person doesn't want to talk then they can ignore me,  just as they can ignore a PM (or tell me to fuck off).

I don't see why would get annoyed ignoring something, its the most passive activity you can do. 

[lagerstarfish]

sit in the pub shouting my at the top of my voice so that all can hear

you've been in a pub while slopesy has been there?

[Adam Lincoln]

Just use the ignore feature, and you won't see his posts. I know quite a few people, including me, who already do. I mean what does he bring to the forum anyway? 

Just look how many times he has been puntered since he returned to the forum this week.

[Johnny Brown]

If you want to make a pub analogy unsolicited PMs (from people I've barely met other than on forum threads) is a bit like someone following you into the bogs, cornering you and starting a rant. Unless its a moderator/ insect overlord in which case its more like being called to the bar for a word with the landlord, in which case fair enough, it's their pub.

[mrjonathanr]

Just use the ignore feature, and you won't see his posts.

Thanks, that's a feature I wasn't aware of.  It's like being able to magically mute the rambling drunk at the bar who wants to butt in at every inopportune moment.

[Johnny Brown]

Does it stop him from following you into the bogs too?

[Sloper]

More than happy to wind my neck in (no really, subject to caveats below), I just can't believe how thin some people's skins are; now if I'd sent the sort of message that Peter Andre sent me; i.e. giving me the alternative of a head butt or a punch then I'd understand the response, but the public running to teacher of the original post is in my view in poorer form than my pm which kicked off this kurfuffle.

Caveat, in my view adherents and exponents of socialism are morons.

[Lund]

I'm sorry if I'm being over sensitive, but surely bullying is wrong? If someone feels intimidated, that's not a healthy place to be. This isn't me having a go at Sloper or anyone else, but personally I feel that UKB has been less friendly recently (as my recent "dicks" incident will support).

Play nicely or fuck off.

I think this place has always been a bit bullying.  I puntered someone with forum powers, and got a ban.  That's even worse than PM'ing isn't it?  I'm bigger than you, so I'm going to ignore my own policies and ban you?

I guess unless it's real (i.e. you believe they are real) threats of actual violence or material harm of some kind, it's just some kids internet bullying you innit.  Best defence is to not give a fuck.

[cowboyhat]

I think this place has always been a bit bullying.  I puntered someone with forum powers, and got a ban.

Did they explain why? What was the incident?

[Bubba]

I think this place has always been a bit bullying.  I puntered someone with forum powers, and got a ban.

Did they explain why? What was the incident?

Him to me: "Don't needlessly act like a cunt".

What else did you really expect as a result of such a comment?  If I said that to an admin on any other forum I wouldn't expect anything different. Most places you'd get a permanent ban. If you think a temporary ban is bullying then you must have a tough time out there on the big nasty internet. And I wasn't ignoring any policies, please read the caveat under the section marked "Ban Levels" in the ban/acceptable use policy.

Anyway, let's move on shall we? Isn't this whole topic just a troll? There's a "report to admin" link attached to every PM - surely it's better just to use that rather than have all this public drama.  I'm sorry, but I don't see a user sending a single pissy PM as bullying unless it's particularly personal and abusive.  If the OP reported the post to us then we'd be able to make a judgement on that - I suspect that none of us want the hassle of having to go looking in the database for the offending PM; personally it's something I've never done and have no wish to change that because I believe that PMs should remain private.

[fatdoc]

As the last bastion of the Internet forum culture this delightful place is, 

Let's move on, I agree with the pub comparisons....

[SA Chris]

Lock and log?

[fatdoc]

Why not..

[Lund]

I think this place has always been a bit bullying.  I puntered someone with forum powers, and got a ban.

Did they explain why? What was the incident?

Him to me: "Don't needlessly act like a cunt".

What else did you really expect as a result of such a comment?  If I said that to an admin on any other forum I wouldn't expect anything different. Most places you'd get a permanent ban. If you think a temporary ban is bullying then you must have a tough time out there on the big nasty internet. And I wasn't ignoring any policies, please read the caveat under the section marked "Ban Levels" in the ban/acceptable use policy.

Anyway, let's move on shall we? Isn't this whole topic just a troll? There's a "report to admin" link attached to every PM - surely it's better just to use that rather than have all this public drama.  I'm sorry, but I don't see a user sending a single pissy PM as bullying unless it's particularly personal and abusive.  If the OP reported the post to us then we'd be able to make a judgement on that - I suspect that none of us want the hassle of having to go looking in the database for the offending PM; personally it's something I've never done and have no wish to change that because I believe that PMs should remain private.

You took your ball away because you didn't like my comment.  I don't give a fuck.  Honestly, I could not give a shit.  You can dish it out all you want, I know you can't take it like a man.

[Bubba]

I don't give a fuck.  Honestly, I could not give a shit.

Yep...that's probably why you brought it up almost a year later  

You can dish it out all you want, I know you can't take it like a man.

Haha, what?!

[dave]

Pub analogy again: you're in a pub and calling one of the bar staff a cunt. What do you expect to happen? You shut up and apologise or find yourself another boozer.

[rginns]

please for the love of man someone log this!

[Bubba]

It hath been loggeth...should have been done about 3 days ago tbh, sorry 

[shark]

I'm locking it too