[petejh]

Thought there might be a place for tales of epic injuries, close escapes, comebacks from the dead and such-like.

This had me in stitches, from Andrew Bisharat's Evening Sends blog http://eveningsends.com/2013/09/hurt-locker/ :

When you’re injured, you’re the most important person in the world: Some years ago, I was hanging out in a bright desert wash with Tommy Caldwell and Dave Graham. That week, Dave had been griping about his finger, though he was vague about the precise affliction. Oddly, Dave continued to climb at a high level—onsighting 5.14a, among other feats that for any other person would be lifetime achievements or at least grounds for a shoe sponsorship with Climb X.

Finally, Dave revealed the story about his “injury” to Tommy and me. On Terremer (V15), the Fred Nicole crimping testpiece in Hueco Tanks, a razor-blade edge sliced him. Dave showed us where by lifting a wedge of skin off his index finger.

“Wait,” I said, a little disoriented. “So … you got a flapper?”

Dave was exasperated. “You mean injury!” he said. “You don’t understand!” I never do. “It was so messed up, like, so, so crazy. I was running around, bleeding everywhere, yelling, ‘Shit! I just cut my finger off!’ I couldn’t believe it, dude. A horrible, devastating injury. I had literally cut my finger off!”

Despite saying “literally,” Dave had not actually cut off his finger—yet he was complaining about his aggrandized flapper to Tommy Caldwell, who had literally cut his finger off with a circular saw years ago. I looked for a reaction out of Tommy, but this tightlipped cowboy of El Cap just smiled.

[i_a_coops]

To anyone who had to put up with me moaning about my 'finger injury' in Ceuse this summer, I sincerely apologise.

In my defence, at the PIP joint my finger was roughly 7 times the circumference it should have been, and holding onto even the biggest of jugs was debilitatingly painful. I was one month into a 4 month trip, and couldn't climb i.e. my world had literally ended.....

Turned out it was an insect bite.   

[webbo]

I had a mole on my bicep that suddenly started getting bigger, I rushed to Doctors thinking I'd got skin cancer only to remember that I'd started weight training and my arms had got bigger.

[petejh]

To anyone who had to put up with me moaning about my 'finger injury' in Ceuse this summer, I sincerely apologise.
..

Reminds me of my (nameless) partner at Ceuse last year. He'd gone with the goal of redpointing Carte Blanche and, after very many days of hard work and progress, he was finally at the point of sending after having fallen from the top the day prior. The big moment arrives, he warms up effortlessly in two halves, pulls the rope and has a 15 minute chill before the crush. During the wait he decides to go for a shit in the trees and emerges back at the crag half-blinded after stabbing himself hard in the eye on a pointy stick. Cue a stumble down the trail, trip into A+E, and two days sat around Gap looking like a pirate before flying home empty-handed.

[Wood FT]

  poor bugger

[SA Chris]

A bit similarly, I was just about to head off for a climbing weekend and in a rush to get out the door put on a pair of trousers, grabbed jeans from previous day off floor and grabbed end of belt and pulled instead of removing it carefully. It released suddenly and I stabbed myself in the eye with my thumb, and spent the next few hours staggering around with a watering and painful eye unable to see to drive. Luckily it recovered enough so I could see, but it hurt all weekend.

[Owen]

I remember a ceuse trip too where just before the send redpoint my partner (who will also remain nameless) clipped the first bolt with a clipstick and subsequently trapped his finger in between the slotted sections of said clipstick leaving him with a massive blood blister. This popped on next redpoint leaving a flapper no send and three days in the campsite getting very aquainted with a tub of climb on!

[petejh]

Oh yeah...   

It was the trip of certain death wasn't it!

(..you forgot to say how I heroically still managed to send Vagabond d'Occident despite the blood blister popping mid-route    )

[Doylo]

Pair of punters ...

[Zods Beard]

My trip to Scotland at the start of the year ended on a high note.

With 4 free days to climb and only one or two days of rain on the 1 1/2 months I was there I managed to stab myself in the eye with my thumb whilst washing my flowing locks. Cue 5 hours of quality time in Glasgow A & E, a rather fetching eye patch for a week and 4 days of boredom stuck in a hotel room. Even playing on my Xbox became a chore due to no depth perception. Solid Snake has never looked such a punter.

[petejh]

Pair of punters ...

Weren't you incapacitated last year due to an ambiguous injury to 'your side'? 

What next - an injured 'top'?

[Doylo]

Was a torn oblique actually. That's my laymen lingo 

[Luke Owens]

Not really an epic injury but I also injured myself in Ceuse last August (Theme occurring here??).

Had an end of the day on-sight attempt at some 7a on the slabby walls on the right of the crag. All was going well until I found myself massively run-out way out left from the bolt confronted with a crack (I don't do cracks!). I proceeded to fall off, wasn't too bad, then I fell again and again... Then one last time I managed to get a little higher, fell and swung very hard into the wall side ways on my ankle, turns out my belayer had tied a knot in the rope because I was taking to long...

Limped down the hill, next day mates went up I stayed at the camp on my own with a very swollen ankle. Got so bored I thought it would be a good idea to walk up in the midday heat?? Took 2 hours to hobble up there only to find my mates were coming back down as they were too tired... Ended up with sun stroke... Took 8 months for my ankle to finally feel OK, think it was ligament damage or something!

[T_B]

To anyone who had to put up with me moaning about my 'finger injury' in Ceuse this summer, I sincerely apologise.
..

Reminds me of my (nameless) partner at Ceuse last year. He'd gone with the goal of redpointing Carte Blanche and, after very many days of hard work and progress, he was finally at the point of sending after having fallen from the top the day prior. The big moment arrives, he warms up effortlessly in two halves, pulls the rope and has a 15 minute chill before the crush. During the wait he decides to go for a shit in the trees and emerges back at the crag half-blinded after stabbing himself hard in the eye on a pointy stick. Cue a stumble down the trail, trip into A+E, and two days sat around Gap looking like a pirate before flying home empty-handed.

  briliant

[Durbs]

Not Ceuse, but another eye injury...

Walking home from the station, about to depart for Cornwall bouldering weekend. Something, I know not what as it was in the middle of the pavement, went into my eye and scratched my cornea.

The Mrs had to drive to Cornwall that night (couldn't open my eye), next morning at local walk-in clinic, eye ointment and such excitement followed. Did manage to get out the next day, but eurrgh - eye injuries suck.

[SamT]

Punched myself in the balls once, really really really hard. 

I was undercutting and high stepping at the same time and my undercutting hand popped off. Was in the days of leggings so everything was bunched neatly together and presenting itself in a neat little (sic) package framed beautifully by my harness.
Of course I then fell into my harness which didn't help matters.

Oh how my belayer laughed and laughed, too busy laughing it would seem to lower me. cnut.