[SA Chris]

Interesting Johnny B.

Not to mention the release of oxytocin / seratonin / dopamine / adrenaline from not just being outdoors, but also doing something energetic which is release trigger (not necessarily climbing - could be cycling, running, skiing, walking, even playing golf).

These can be released alone, but I think are further enhanced if done socially; oxytocin is the "hug drug" which I think is why grown men will happily give each other a good old cuddle after achieving something (scary route, hole in one) that they would not normally do in another context.

[rich d]

I don't have too much to add to this really but came across these 2 bits on a skiing forum which seemed kind of relevant to us as we all play in the outdoors. First is about the (2 years old) increasing suicide rates in the rockies.

https://www.newschoolers.com/news/read/Unbuckling-suicide-belt

2nd one is a very honest post from a skier who was on the brink of US Olympic freestyle/bigAir selection but missed it by half a point.
 
https://www.newschoolers.com/forum/thread/857340/The-truth-behind-my-complete-destruction-

"What’s good NS!?

You may or may not have noticed but I completely Houdini’d shortly after future spinning... and I may have actually believed I was in the future!

Here is what happened at the end of my career (so far ) that led to losing everything.

I think some of you can benefit from this...

— This post is explicit and VERY deep —

None of this is easy to write.

Up until now, I could count on one hand the people that know this.

This is real. I’m not the only person going through these things. I want to share to expand knowledge and give an inside perspective.

Please keep in mind... I am NEVER trying to tell anyone what to do. That shit is on you 😉
Also... I absolutely do not have everything figured out. I am trying to organize my thoughts and learn.
I am not looking for attention.
I figure it would be helpful to share...

One of the BIGGEST keys to getting by day to day life for me is reminding myself that the world is exactly what I make it. If I live in a negative thought dominant world, then everything around me seems negative and if I don’t catch myself in these thoughts... then that negativity will continuously grow and eventually at an exponential rate.
A lot of negative things happened. I blamed myself.
Next thing you know I was back to being cold. The pain of my ill perceived world became overwhelming... and I turned evil. I mean fucking evil. I go to absurd lengths to try and hurt myself and also horribly hurting others... and I didn’t even realize it.
When I reached that level of numb, I block out so many positive emotions that I become cold. I was exhausted and stuck in a dark world only seeing and feeling heart demolishing negativity and only identifying the world around me with that negativity, which lead to heavy heavy depression and savage anger that seemingly could only be escaped with drugs. Drugs take away the pain. Drugs also falsely identify as love, happiness, friendship... everything good that I would not, could not, see or feel before.

Eventually I found solace at the homeless shelter in $10 bags of “life” for the majority of every day. Alone I would float, mindless, content, focused... on drugs. The rest of my day I spent relentlessly searching everywhere, mostly in or around dumpsters, for something to turn for profit, which would turn into drugs.
Needing drugs to cope with my emptiness/emotional void = selling everything to my name. Eventually breaking into cars, stealing things that I did not earn, and I did not deserve. In my broken mind I deserved it.
I AM NOT a thief. I am so fucking heartbroken by the fact that I had become the person that people fear. A person who disregarded morals. I’m not saying people are scared of me... but knowing what I was able to do without feeling... is the scariest thing of all.

My excuse for doing all of these fucked up drugs... “it’s ok- it’s just for fun” “I’m not addicted, I can stop whenever!”
Eventually these thoughts subsided and I simply needed drugs to cope... and barely cope at that.
I 100% believed that I could only exist at the capacity at which I had accepted the world wanted of me if I was so high I basically did not exist.
I believed that I was the most horrible person on earth. I couldn’t understand why the world was so evil and relentless.

I believed the world wanted me gone.
I wanted myself gone.
My sadness and self hatred eventually took control of me and I threw in the towel.
I was under the influence of drugs, alcohol, and depression one night, remembering very emotionally destroying occurrences (One very prominent example is missing the Olympics by less than half of a point, others were much more personal) I jumped off a cliff ranging somewhere between 80-100ish feet high. Not on skis. Not into snow.

I died on impact.

I saw so many people whom I missed and idolized. I wanted to be with them. They told me I had not served my purpose on earth. I started screaming and begging them to let me stay...
I came to on a beach. I was alone. It was 3am. I crawled and limped about 1/4-1/2 mile down the shore to find any street possible and called myself an ambulance.
I found myself in the ICU with brain bleeding and punctured bleeding lungs.
I was supposed to be in the hospital for a long time... and I was 100% convinced that it wouldn’t take that long.
I was right.
Less than a week after admittance, I was released and cleared by a doctor.

This was a miracle.

And it wasn’t enough.

A few months later on an absolutely beautiful sunny day just before Christmas, with a fresh blanket of snow coating the ground, I was toggling with the pressure I was applying to the trigger of a gun which was resting against my temple.
The scary thing is... I wasn’t scared.
I started to apply more consistent and heavy pressure to the cold metal piece as continued playing the horrible things in my head over and over. Finally I could put these thoughts to rest and do the world and myself a favor.
The trigger grew closer to the grip as my grip tightened. I closed my eyes...
My dad called.
He called with news that someone very very close to me had just lost their mother, who happened to be like a second mom to me, by taking her own life.
I immediately turned my truck around and drove home. I had a breakdown. Just like other times, I blamed myself.

Built up sadness from so many horrible experiences along with anger, hatred, and loneliness strengthened my drug use to a deadly level.

Recipe for survival:

Heroin, crack, Xanax... everyday. I mean EVERY day. (1-3g heroin (BLK-Black) or 60-500mg OxyContin), 0.5-3.0g of white (crack) 2-10mg Xanax (bars, busses, etc)
A SHIT load.
Hundreds of dollars a day.
Meth, alcohol, coke, Molly, thizz (ecstasy), sassafras, OxyContin, morphine, oxymorphone, weed... etc... on occasion... definitely more than occasional— meaning not reliant on, but would use if in the presence of, or absence of other drugs and also would use additionally to the primary drugs.
Nothing... not even those drugs, could numb the absolute hatred within.

The truth behind the drug abuse? I wasn’t just physically addicted. I was IN LOVE. I absolutely loved the freedom I got from my emotions with these “supplements” (I consider drugs a supplement for lost emotions...) (I am just figuring this out as i write!) Basically, I affiliated drugs with happiness and love— the only happiness and love I could ever feel with the sad lonely darkness ravaging my perception of this fucking BEAUTIFUL life that I am so damn blessed to have the opportunity to live and fuckin dominate!

I have finally taken the time to deal with my forgotten emotions and focus on the good things as well now.
I am happy to be alive.

I hope any of this helps.
The world that some people are in is not the same as your world... and reminding them of that doesn’t help.
Remind people you love them. Tell them the good things. We need to hear it.

So, there’s a little insight as to why I haven’t been around.

I plan to be back.

Keep shredding and keep lovin!"

[Fiend]

Do you think the benefits of diet and exercise on mental health are...

My working theory has always been that depression is a symptom of living in a society which is wholly artificial and is largely estranged from the natural environment we and the rest of the animal kingdom evolved in.

I haven't even read the rest of the post but this is a good thought and runs parallel to a thought I have, that depression (and mental illness) is, despite potential credibility issues, very real and increasingly prevalent in modern society due to pretty much what you said, or more specifically that we are monkeys whose brains, intellect, technological capabilities and societal formations have evolved far quicker than our emotional abilities to deal with them and make sense of that pace of development.

[lagerstarfish]

Apes, together, strong

[fists together]

[Oldmanmatt]

So...
I’m back on the drugs...
My dealer (GP) didn’t even pause when I asked for my Fluoxetine to be renewed.

Now, and this is serious, does anyone have any experience of dealing with someone with very real psychiatric issues?

Particularly where that person has decided to fixate on you (or at least, looks likely to). It turns out that this person has feudes with many other people and organisations (interesting, expletive filled, YouTube videos, Facebook pages (with 23 likes), endless threats of legal action and even attempted suits (failed))?

I know (now) this person is known to Health services, they’re trying to sue them too, does this mean they have a Case Officer? Any possibility of contacting someone there, who might be able to reign them in?

Just any advice on handling such people would be welcome, and I mean, even just trying to talk to them.

[webbo]

Matt
Just because a person is known to mental health service or has even received a service in their past does not necessarily they have a key worker.
They may choose not receive a service and unless they have a presentation which would require detention under the mental health act services will respect that choice.
However if a person has a presentation of a severity that would indicate treatment services may persist in trying to engage with them.
Also if a person has been detained under section 3 of MHA ( There are some other sections 35 or 37 which are similar but are related to Forensic mental health services) they can be placed on a community treatment order which they are required to accept treatment, visits and reviews with a psychiatrist. If they don’t comply they can be recalled to hospital.
If you try to find out whether or not they have a worker, you will probably hit confidentiality where no one will give you any information.
Probably the best you could do is contact the mental health team for the area in which they live and pass on your concerns or speak to the local police as they are likely to have knowledge of this person.
I hope this sort of makes sense.

[DAVETHOMAS90]

Just any advice on handling such people would be welcome, and I mean, even just trying to talk to them.

Matt, I can completely understand why that might sound like a great idea, but I'd suggest it might be best avoided.

Despite your very best intentions, how things are conveyed may be rather different.

Dave.

[Oldmanmatt]

Thanks guys.

Unfortunately, we’re almost certainly going down the lawyer route and bringing in better qualified people to handle the situation.

Which is just going to cost everyone a packet for no good reason...

Absolutely fucked right off with life right now, with bells on.

[DAVETHOMAS90]

It sounds like a very difficult situation Matt, but something you probably do need to be covered for, or protected against.

Keep up the great work, and please keep reminding yourself of the value of what you're doing for everyone else!   

[JamieG]

Along the lines that Johnny B was mentioning. Here is a review article which finds that potentially many features of modern life may contribute to depression. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3330161/

However, in my personal experience I have found medicine necessarily to allow me to get out and exercise/socialise/work, which then leads to a greater improvement in my health. It is a double whammy.

[Oldmanmatt]

I honestly find modern life a great struggle.

I think I spent a lot of my life running away. I thought I was traveling and leading a dynamic and exciting life. Always onwards, on to the next adventure, lusting after the next challenge.

Then came kids.

That meant settling down.

And over the last decade, I have realised how often I just ditched my entire life, when it got too complicated to be fun anymore. I no longer have that option.

It sucks.

Life here is petty, repetitive and utterly beyond your control. If you’re an expat and don’t like the local Government? Leave.
At home?
Suck it up.

Oh and the fun with our friendly Psyco began in earnest today. Ten minutes before I opened the Bunker, the Firebrigade are banging on the door.
Someone has reported x,y and z, breaches of the fire safety regs in this business (including locked and permanently blocked fire exits), serious enough that they had to be on premises within ten minutes of recieving the complaint...

No faults found.

None.

Fortunately, we were able to suggest a possible name of the person making the complaint, which the guys were unable to confirm as the claimant for obvious reasons...
But, apparently, they do prosecute people who make malicious complaints, should they be silly enough to use their own name.

Which is nice.

Staff member had his motorbike mysteriously moved to another street, from where he parked it...

Just waiting for the first Pizza delivery now...

[webbo]

Once upon a time when I had a caseload of folk like you describe Matt. One such gentleman on walking down a dark street was suddenly grabbed from behind and bundled in to the boot of a car driven 50 miles away let out and then had to get himself back home.
He behaved himself for a good while after that.

[danm]

Sorry to hear about the grief and aggro Matt. With any luck this person will get the treatment/comeuppance they need/deserve. Sounds like they already messed up by getting their name on record with the fire brigade, if they do get a stern word from them that might back them up a little, and if not it is something that hopefully you will be able to use as evidence if it comes to t. Best of luck mate.

[lagerstarfish]

Hope the dog is getting used to taking walks by himself and leaving everyone alone.

This may be of use to some folk - useful pdf on mental health and debt

https://images6.moneysavingexpert.com/images/documents/mentalhealthguide_new_October_2018.pdf?_ga=2.67977107.327842280.1539203536-374984246.1537267173

from

https://www.moneysavingexpert.com/credit-cards/mental-health-guide/

nicely put together

[SA Chris]

https://edition.cnn.com/2018/09/27/health/staying-well-rock-climbing/index.html

Nice read.

[cjsheps]

It always comes back to climbing, right? 

[DAVETHOMAS90]

Hi everyone.

I thought I'd make people aware of something that I'm pretty sure I experienced when taking anti depressants back in the early 00s.

Akathisia:



This was an endless internal agitation that I couldn't escape from. It's the one time in my life when I actually drank to find some respite.

I'll be dropping the doctor I saw at the time a note to ask about this, but it's one of the principle reasons I've preferred to live with the rollercoaster of emotions at times, rather than resort to anti depressants.

At the time, I was desperate for a way out. I did wake up covered in vomit on one occasion, having taken too much Zopiclone. Not good.

The account given here is so close to what I felt at the time, I'll be very surprised if that isn't what I was experiencing.

Dave.

[slab_happy]

Hi everyone.

I thought I'd make people aware of something that I'm pretty sure I experienced when taking anti depressants back in the early 00s.

Akathisia:



This was an endless internal agitation that I couldn't escape from. It's the one time in my life when I actually drank to find some respite.

I'll be dropping the doctor I saw at the time a note to ask about this, but it's one of the principle reasons I've preferred to live with the rollercoaster of emotions at times, rather than resort to anti depressants.

At the time, I was desperate for a way out. I did wake up covered in vomit on one occasion, having taken too much Zopiclone. Not good.

The account given here is so close to what I felt at the time, I'll be very surprised if that isn't what I was experiencing.

Dave.

I'm not watching the video because I'm fairly sure it'd be too close to home for me -- I got bad akathisia as a medication reaction once and yeah, it's a fucking horror. You want to claw your own skin off to escape. It doesn't surprise me at all if it leads to suicides, and doctors really need to be aware of it and take people off a med immediately if it starts.

(That was part of an episode I refer to as my Epic Psychiatric Misadventures, during which my doctors and I discovered that I'm really prone to freakishly awful meds reactions.)

As a data point, though: getting akathisia from one anti-depressant doesn't mean you'll get it from others.

I do need anti-depressants to keep me from plummeting into very severe depression, and mercifully the Misadventures ended up with me on a cocktail of meds which are pretty good to me, with minimal side-effects.

[DAVETHOMAS90]

I wanted to share this video, not for any immediate reason, other than for the urgency which should always surround this. I think this is amazing in it's openness and frankness:

[nik at work]

I've lurked on this thread for a while but think the time has come to contribute.
I have over the last 12-18 months had a fairly dark spell which came to a head at the start of this year. The reasons for this are numerous and complex and I'll not go into them here. However this thread, along with other factors, helped me to open up to my wife in a way I didn't think I could.  At this stage I don't feel the need to look for further help, although I am aware it is available. I am definitely coming out of the hole, in ups and downs, so just wanted to extend a big thank you to all who have contributed here, it has made a difference to me.
Thanks.

[Fiend]

Big up nik.

[lagerstarfish]

nice one Nik

 

[Andy F]

Well done Nik. You've made the hardest step, keep making the rest 

[SamT]

 

Echo the above really.   The first steps are always the hardest and sounds like you're a few steps in now.

[Andy F]

I'm injured. He's barking in the distance. He won't prevail.