[Fultonius]

To me, that sounds very much like she thought you'd cave under an ultimatum and agree to climb less and do more of what she thinks you should be doing instead, now she realises you're serious about your climbing and not going to bow down to threats she's maybe decided she was a bit hasty with her 'me or climbing' effort.

Also, the 'we were on a break' line never goes down well, with either sex, trust me. 

It wasn't quite so much of an ultimatum - "Me or climbing" more of a - "where's this going" idea.  To be honest, I'm thinking this weekend has made it pretty clear that this thing has run its course. But time will tell...

As for the "we were on a break" thing - she didn't ask and I'm not going to mention it, no matter what happens!

[Oldmanmatt]

To me, that sounds very much like she thought you'd cave under an ultimatum and agree to climb less and do more of what she thinks you should be doing instead, now she realises you're serious about your climbing and not going to bow down to threats she's maybe decided she was a bit hasty with her 'me or climbing' effort.

Also, the 'we were on a break' line never goes down well, with either sex, trust me. 

.........Or, does it mean she's thought of a new way to get what she wants??

Nah.. It's always worth hanging on to a good partner, even if you do fight from time to time.

Life could be worse...

[SA Chris]

she didn't ask and I'm not going to mention it, no matter what happens!

What happens in Edinburgh.......

[Fultonius]

Nah.. It's always worth hanging on to a good partner, even if you do fight from time to time.

See, this is where it's tricky. We've only really had one or 2 arguments in 1.5 years. Nothing about our relaitonship ever gets heated, which has its plus points.

What our issue is is figuring out what we want to do off a weekend. Before, when I was working offshore a lot it wasn't such an issue as I was quite happy to be chilling out, catching a movie, wandering around town etc...  but now that we're seeing each other more often (as I've changed jobs) we kinda struggle to find things that interest us both. In fact, it's got so bad that I dread the weekends I go to Perth (I live in Glasgow, she lives an hour away in Perth, at her parents...)

She started off seeming to be keen to go skiing (she had done it once of twice before we met, but I don't see it becoming a passion for her) and hallwalking (or just walking) but now she hates wearing "outdoors" clothes and suddenly "gets a headache" when we about to leave the car...

This is all sounding a bit negative, she is actually a lovely girl, buuuuut, we just have different interests. I knew this when we met and I didn't try and force anything on her, but I did introduce her to lots of things. Most of which she seemed keen on, but has slowly become less keen!

I think the biggest issue is the fact that to really move on in our relationship, we'd have to live together. There's no jobs in Perth, so it'd either be Glasgow, or both go somewhere. I think we've both relaised this, and realised that while a lot of the time we spend together is quite good, it's not quite good enough to take that next step...

[Jaspersharpe]

What our issue is is figuring out what we want to do of a weekend.

Just have kids then you wont have any time to do anything anyway. Alternatively, show her this thread, then you wont have any decision to make.

[slackline]

Just have kids then you wont have any time to do anything anyway.

And Fultonius then goes climbing.......

[galpinos]

As for the "we were on a break" thing - she didn't ask and I'm not going to mention it, no matter what happens!

Thankfully, you didn't discuss it with a load of randoms off the internet.........

[chillax]

show her this thread, then you wont have any decision to make.

No joke there. Something along those lines happened to me recently. You never know who reads this stuff....

The only advice I can give is to have a good hard look at yourself and try to figure out what you really want. Good luck!

[slackline]

Not quite the current situation but...

[magpie]

I think the biggest issue is the fact that to really move on in our relationship, we'd have to live together... I think we've both realised this, and realised that while a lot of the time we spend together is quite good, it's not quite good enough to take that next step...

That sounds like the crux of it really.  I suppose it depends what you want; if you want to have fun weekends with someone you get on well with and like a lot then that's great, but if you're looking for a real serious relationship, living together, commitment or marriage and kids at some point or any of that stuff really then is there much point carrying on if you can't see it heading there eventually?  or you're not keen enough to push for it?

I also wonder if the fact you found it so easy to have a bit of fun in Edinburgh says anything about how you really feel about it all?  If you were really massively gutted about the relationship being over would you have been able to do that so easily?

The not having hobbies or interests in common isn't that big a deal, I don't think, provided you are both cool with it, there's no reason why you can't do your stuff and she can do hers and then you both make time to also do stuff together, you have to both be ok with it though, that's the only way it'll work, if one of you wants to spend all your time together while the other wants time alone to do their own thing then it's probably going to build up and become an issue.

Right, I'm shutting up now, I have forgotten where I am and gone all agony aunt with my advice. 

[ducko]

your clearly not happy, she sounds pretty boring, move on find someone who suites you better, plenty more fish n all that

[north_country_boy]

Are you sure this whole situation isn't because of the 'other woman' who has recently entered your life?........














_{(when I say woman, I may be referring to a bouldering wall)}

[i_a_coops]

Based on a sample size of 2*, messy breakups with girls who hate climbing leads to a) vastly more free time and b) an almost instant jump in grade.... 

*same girl both times - I don't learn.

[Mike Tyson]

I can see how the prospect of hallwalking might cause an impromptu headache.

[Monolith]

Simples this one.

Flip mode a la the situation: "It's me or the shopping".

Other tactics I've deployed:

"The NHS recommends three sessions of exercise a week. I.e. Tues night, Thurs night and Sunday day. So unless you want me to contravene official public health advisory protocol, I think you're onto something of a loser there lovie."

"Do you want a milky adonis or a hairy miserable twat with tits? You choose."

"Topshop are doing a demo down the wall tonight if you fancy it?" (Went nowhere that one).

"Climbing please Bob"

More reasonably," I'll carry your bags around town and you give me a spot?"