[SA Chris]

Topic Creator told to fuck off for having falic cranium(4,4)

Dick head told to learn to spell phallic. (4,3)

Fuck Off?

(these are easy).

[sidewinder]

Choking on my cock provides palindromic joke (3)

gag

[SA Chris]

Are you certain the door is securely closed Dr Watson?

(8,6)

[Jaspersharpe]

Excrement cleared up. (2,4)

[tomtom]

Sir Alex Fergusson (7 - across, 4 down, sharing 2nd letter)

[lagerstarfish]

red-faced wanker ?

         w
r e d f a c e d
         n
         k
         e
         r

[tomtom]

Nearly... you're out a tad with the letter count. The common letter is a U. I believe the words in question have been known to be part of Jaspers extensive vocabulary...

   _
_ U _ _ _ _ _
   _
   _

You could also replace Alex Burgersson with Bono, Michael Boubleywhatsit or George Osbourne... they all work equally well..

[lagerstarfish]

nope, no idea


    p
 b u m b l e y
    n
    t

[lagerstarfish]

Nearly... you're out a tad with the letter count.

Ah, I thought you meant this was the clues for 7 across and 4 down and had forgotten to put a letter count in

[tomtom]

Close... clue. Its not 'Bumhole runt' either.. fitting but not correct...

[tomtom]

I found this... for all you crossword kids out there. Word.



Across

2. Urinary Fluster (4,5)

5. A long deep cut (4)

7. Large deposit of fat in the male chest area (5)

9. Spectator sport involving motor vehicles (7)

10. A mean or obnoxious person (4)

12. To procreate (4)

13. Humorous response where a noun-phrase was expected (4,3)

15. Sharp stabbing wind-up (5,5)

16. Residing at the end of an Egyptian mammal (5,3)

17. Male ejaculatory substance

18. Exclamation on making an error (8 )

19. Oriental window to the soul (4,3)

Down

1. Handle Rider (4,6)

3. Reproductive organ with substantial thigh-slapping length and girth (7)

4. When combined with "the," used to describe something that is the best, the greatest (4)

6. Sausage and bap massage (3,4)

7. Could be mistaken for a hinge (5)

8. Bovine soft furnishings (4, 8 )

11. Windy employment (7)

14. Tempting female below the age of consent (8 )

[lagerstarfish]

repetitive drum aids navigation (6)

hard-on loses diamorphine and gets messed up like potter (5)