[Nick B]

What would people like to see in a UK climbing film, with regards to style of shooting, extra shots between climbs, interviews, music, easy or hard climbs etc?

[Will Hunt]

I'd be interested to see people pushing themselves but on easier terrain. Not necessarily dead dead easy but committed climbers trying hard. Most likely to get this kind of shot at HVS-E4/5?

[Paul B]

I think it popped up in the other thread that people feel the latest climbing films have little behind the climbing unlike some previous productions like "Stick it!" etc. Others have tried but I found the hot aches stuff to be pretty godawful and cheesy as hell.

It would be good if people took advantage of the now affordable quality accessible via DSLR as well (this is showing through in plenty of shorts). Every man and his dog has something capable of capturing footage where everything is in focus and a tripod to go with it, give us something more interesting.

Not necessarily dead dead easy but committed climbers trying hard. Most likely to get this kind of shot at HVS-E4/5?

But you can just do this at Stanage popular? I'm not trying to be elitist but if I'm going to buy something it needs to be truly inspiring/interesting.

[Will Hunt]

I think that kind of stuff could be very inspiring. Easier to relate to for the average punter like me and not necessarily boring. Whippers on Big Greeny etc as they go ground up or onsight could be exciting and much more inspiring than bigger numbers getting headpointed which is a style of climbing I've never engaged in and can't really relate to.

Maybe as a concept you could get a group of climbers who are willing to commit to the project and want to improve but have never really pushed themselves before. Get them training and film the resulting crushment.

[Nick B]

I think that kind of stuff could be very inspiring. Easier to relate to for the average punter like me and not necessarily boring. Whippers on Big Greeny etc as they go ground up or onsight could be exciting and much more inspiring than bigger numbers getting headpointed which is a style of climbing I've never engaged in and can't really relate to.

Maybe as a concept you could get a group of climbers who are willing to commit to the project and want to improve but have never really pushed themselves before. Get them training and film the resulting crushment.

I think currently the film would be based around a select few boulderers operating at a fairly elite level.... Having said that, there is always opportunities to film 'easier' climbs. I know that there is a bit of trad on film and more planned, but so far mainly bouldering.

It would be good if people took advantage of the now affordable quality accessible via DSLR as well (this is showing through in plenty of shorts). Every man and his dog has something capable of capturing footage where everything is in focus and a tripod to go with it, give us something more interesting.

DSLR is a big part of it

[Paul B]

(hope you've got a focussing screen, that section of the prophet [although I'm informed wasn't filmed on a DSLR] was slightly frustrating to watch) 

Beastmaker the movie?

[andy_e]

Can we see some punters in godawful mountain hardware pants struggling up wet severes at stanage? I think the music should be out of the "overrated artists" thread and between the shots of climbing should be kittens playing with balls of string.

[Paul B]

[mikester]

Would be nice to see a film that doesn't start (or in fact include at all) driving-to-the-crag-whilst-filming-out-of-the-window shots (including speeded-up versions) or the closely-related driving-to-the-crag-whilst-filming-the passengers shots. This is climbing not Top Gear 

It always seems difficult to convey the difficulty of hard climbs, but I like to get a sense of how much effort goes into these things. Mind you, it's good to see wads cruising up them as well. Also be nice to see/hear some British crag  banter rather than the US style whoopin' n hollerin'!

[Muenchener]

Would be nice to see a film that doesn't start (or in fact include at all) driving-to-the-crag-whilst-filming-out-of-the-window shots

Similarly, bouldering footage that doesn't involve somebody walking through a wood carrying a pad.

[Muenchener]

OTOH - thinking of one particular recent entry in both Quality Bouldering Vids and DFBWGC - we need a whole lot more East European babes bathing in rivers.

But seriously though: what's unique to British climbing but isn't gritstone (which has been done to death on film anyway)? Sea Cliffs! I imagine the filming logistics might be horrendous, but there's certainly plenty of stuff at relatively modest grades on some really bizarre looking and photogenic rock. Mousetrap Zawn springs to mind.

[Bonjoy]

I'd echo what others have said. A good climbing film should have interesting dialogue with the climbers. Too often this is a boring add-on given little time and thought. As much or more effort should be put into the lead-up/context of an ascent rather than a token effort (or no effort) and then footage of the 'send'.
Some good crag banter would also be good. You very rarely see this on films, maybe because people instantly feel awkward and stop acting naturally as soon as someone turns on a video camera, so any banter also looks/sounds awkward. Keeping the camera running all day at the crag would get around this. Obviously this means the camera man has to concentrate on filming all day rather than trying to sneak in some climbing for themself.
Ditto what mikester says about cliches!

[tommytwotone]

Ditto what mikester says about cliches!

Always wondered about making a tongue in cheek cliche Font video along the lines of The Roots "What Do Video" - enough footage of driving through the forest, people carrying pads, slow pans around the forest etc and I reckon it'd be possible..

http://vodpod.com/watch/1833172-the-roots-never-do-what-they-do

[remus]

What bonjoy said. I dont really mind what sort of shots/music are used if it gets the point across. What I do care about is why they're doing whatever it is they're doing.

[SA Chris]

Would be nice to see a film that doesn't start (or in fact include at all) driving-to-the-crag-whilst-filming-out-of-the-window shots

Similarly, bouldering footage that doesn't involve somebody walking through a wood carrying a pad.

Then some clips of someone failing on a problem a few times, then a fade to black with a little title giving name and grade of problem just before they do it, thus removing any tension as to whether they will succeed or not on the next attempt.

[lagerstarfish]

It'd be good to hear people say what they're thinking about the climbing - and maybe how it fits in/messes up/enhances their life (or just that day if it's interesting)

Seeing a bit of emotion being expressed is always good, but I guess it's hard to get it on camera/mic without it all being a bit daytime/reality TVish. Sweary banter would suffice in the event that no tears are shed.

I think a few sound recording devices left running at all times and scattered around the bouldering and spotting areas could lead to a few minutes of interesting stuff to use instead of just music.

Maybe Nick-at-work singing his favourite kids TV theme songs?

[cheque]

Please don't use slow-motion shots of climbers chalking up by slapping their hands in the chalk then clapping them together like sumo wrestlers.

[nik at work]

Maybe Nick-at-work singing his favourite kids TV theme songs?

It's not just kids TV, you should hear my Animal Hospital.

[GCW]

Always happy to resurrect a classic (skip to 1:05)

[turnipturned]

Lakes, Yorkshire and Cornwall! Shot with a steady/glide cam! 

[iwasmexican]

Beastmaker the movie?

second

[lagerstarfish]

Please don't use slow-motion shots of climbers chalking up by slapping their hands in the chalk then clapping them together like sumo wrestlers.

Although...  slow motion shots of scantily clad female athletes chalking up their hands and slapping their thighs/buttocks like sumo wrestlers would get my attention.


Pro-Celebrity high balling could make interesting viewing.

Chris Sharma paired with Simon Schama
Johnny Dawes paired with Brian Blessed
Andy Earl paired with Bez
Boris Johnson paired with Sloper

just imagine the banter

[DaveC]

Boris Johnson paired with Sloper

just imagine the banter

If you don't mind I'd rather not.

[Fiend]

Proper onsighting / groundupping without skipping through all the faff and terror.

[Norton Sharley]

Please don't use slow-motion shots of climbers chalking up by slapping their hands in the chalk then clapping them together like sumo wrestlers.

Although...  slow motion shots of scantily clad female athletes chalking up their hands and slapping their thighs/buttocks like sumo wrestlers would get my attention.


Pro-Celebrity high balling could make interesting viewing.

Chris Sharma paired with Simon Schama
Johnny Dawes paired with Brian Blessed
Andy Earl paired with Bez
Boris Johnson paired with Sloper

just imagine the banter

Sounds like a great idea.  Remind me, what are the rules of Pro-Celebrity high balling?

[lagerstarfish]

Sounds like a great idea.  Remind me, what are the rules of Pro-Celebrity high balling?

Pairs spot each other

As many pads as they can carry

The celebrity chooses which routes will be attempted - the climber chooses the order in which they will be attempted.

Partners must alternate routes - they must top out before their partner starts the next route

Initially a score is given for the total number of E points scored, a secondary score is calculated on the approximate Font grade total and a third score is given by the Judges for entertainment value (falls, banter, swearing etc)

The judges panel will consist of some or all of Grimer, Davina McCall, Borris Johnson, Kylie Minogue, Sean Ryder, Jonathan King Johnny Vegas and Stuart Hall.

Guest judges will be dragged out of the pub each week (Grieve and Picalli are tipped for this season)

The scores will be presented in imaginative and colourful ways by Peter Snow and Ian McCaskill

The scores will not count for anything because members of the public will be allowed to make their unenlightened fuckwitted opinions count for something via the farce that is a phone-in-voting scam - the presentation of the scores will provide hours of faux suspense to make sad couch potatoes feel like they have some excitement in their lives

Tick marks are strictly forbidden on all routes

All proceeds of the phone in scam will go to Edale Mountain Rescue Team

A long and ultimately fruitless discussion about the use of our natural resources for mass entertainment will be hosted on UKC

A similar one will appear on UKB, but will quickly evolve into something more interesting

The combined length of these threads will be used to calculate the vigour with which the losers are humiliated whilst being ejected from the competition.

The inevitable thread(s) on how many E points each route is worth will be measured to calculate the value of the winners' Carribean cruise

Full rules are available on the organisers' web site www.lagerstarfishentertaiments.co.uk

[BB]

Frankly, I'm amazed that Lagers put in all that work and didn't attach a bill at the end!

[Dolly]

That link you put in returns a DNS error Lagers

[Jaspersharpe]

Frankly, I'm amazed that Lagers put in all that work and didn't attach a bill at the end!

Just wait til someone attempts to use the idea.......

[slackline]

Domain is still up for grabs though

[Norton Sharley]

Quality.

[lagerstarfish]

Frankly, I'm amazed that Lagers put in all that work and didn't attach a bill at the end!

Frankly, I'm amazed that Lagers put in all that work and didn't attach a bill at the end!

Just wait til someone attempts to use the idea.......

By publishing the idea on the internet I can legitimately claim that it was my idea   

I'm waiting for a phone call from S4C to arrange filming a pilot programme

[Jaspersharpe]

I don't think that Boris Johnson should be allowed to judge himself. It's too much like real life.

[lagerstarfish]

Sloper was always going on like he could only be judged by himself, so I thought his partner should be allowed the same privilege

He'll only shoot himself in the foot anyway - if he realsises that he is judging himself at all

[Norton Sharley]

They won't get that far, they'll still be doing u-turns about which problems to do in which order.

[lagerstarfish]

If they do turn up with a pair of Fabbris and take turns shooting each other in the foot, they stand a good chance of getting through the first round of phone-scamming

[SA Chris]

All proceeds of the phone in scam will go to Edale Mountain Rescue Team

Sounds unrealistic. It's normally a percentage of the proceeds going to charity. That percentage being about 1%.

[Jaspersharpe]

I think lagers meant all proceeds "after costs".

[SA Chris]

has this program been given a name yet? If not I propose Celebrity Masterchuff.

[psychomansam]

I'm being lazy and can't be fucked to read what everyone else has said.

The best thing you can do with a climbing film is treat it like any other film. Go check out some top notch documentaries like dancing with the devil on 4od, or something amazing on a totally arbitrary topic like king of kong. There's a top doc on wordsearch competitions I saw once... The point is the subject matter doesn't even matter if you can make a good doc.

So get these:

1. Character development
2. Story
3. Feel

Character development in a climbing film? Lets see people training to achieve goals, getting down, getting up again. Show the climbers as real twats like the rest of us, not sponsored icons. Show their other halves sharing/suffering from their passion (especially if they're hot).

Story - this follows on from character development. Nice to see them achieve something in the end, but I'd be just as impressed by a good climbing film that had the guts to show a failed project.

Feel - that's the shit that comes from good camerawork, good editing, good lighting, good sound, but also think about dialogue, humour, random shit. Add in some film noir. Do shots of the environment not just the climbing. . Or surround all the climbers by hot naked spotters. Just do something that isn't dull dull dull.

p.s. If you do insist on showing us yet more hard 'cutting edge' climbing, there's absolutely no point showing us someone going up a climb and saying look look it's E9. Show us why, show us the crux move a few times, show us close-ups of the holds. Throw some shit from the crux onto the landing zone so we can watch it smash.

Do all that, and i might even pay for it.

 

Edit: I just read what everyone else has to say. Far better idea. Can we accidentally drop some rocks on Boris?

[Jaspersharpe]

Feel - that's the shit that comes from good camerawork, good editing, good lighting, good sound, but also think about dialogue, humour, random shit.

I always thought it was something to do with Chad Greedy.

[SA Chris]

shakading.

[andy popp]

But seriously though: what's unique to British climbing but isn't gritstone (which has been done to death on film anyway)? Sea Cliffs! I imagine the filming logistics might be horrendous, but there's certainly plenty of stuff at relatively modest grades on some really bizarre looking and photogenic rock. Mousetrap Zawn springs to mind.

And lo, it did come to pass!

[andy_e]

  good thread resurrection.

I'm still waiting for this though.

Can we see some punters in godawful mountain hardware pants struggling up wet severes at stanage? I think the music should be out of the "overrated artists" thread and between the shots of climbing should be kittens playing with balls of string.