[account_inactive]

I've just been to our local driving range having not picked up a club for 15 years  :jaw:and was psyched to find that I can still hit a ball (albeit with a fade 80% of the time) after all those years.

Question is are there any other golfers on the forum and if so would they like a round at some point.  Bear in mind that it might take some time for me to get back in the swing of things (pun intended)

Cheers

[Sloper]

Yeah, I'll join you for a hack, but it's been 28 years for me.

[andy popp]

Golf? Jesus fucking Christ.

[butters]

If I hadn't managed to tick Strawberries tonight (YYFY) you would have got a puntering just for mentioning the fact that golf exists - I struggle with climbing and all it's intransigences so why even contemplate golf - it's fucking 8A to me just to hit the bloody ball. GGGGAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!

[SA Chris]

The horror, the horror.

[dave]

golf is a good walk spoilt. crazy golf on the other hand is awesome.

[Richie Crouch]

Haven't played for about 3 years but used to play a fair bit at a private course until it got too expensive, then moved on to the charred wastelands of the local municipal course... trying to avoid the stolen burned out cars on the greens.

Be well keen for a round soon. I'll try get Millso, his mate Paul and Donnelly keen and we could come over for a East v West texas scramble 

[fried]

If I want to pay 15 quid to get in a foul mood I'll just buy a cheap bottle of gin.

[uptown]

I'd love to hook up for a round Dylan - it's been a couple of years since I played so a few 'mulligans' might be in order though. I played at Beauchief back in the day (when Jerry owned the fairways) - a fantastic walk, where would you have in mind?

[aLICErOBERTSfANkLUB]

golf is a good walk spoilt. crazy golf on the other hand is awesome.

Or as far as I'm concerned a bad one spoilt.

[account_inactive]

I'd love to hook up for a round Dylan - it's been a couple of years since I played so a few 'mulligans' might be in order though. I played at Beauchief back in the day (when Jerry owned the fairways) - a fantastic walk, where would you have in mind?

I went to Moorview (?) golf range the other day.  I know that there are two clubs next to this (one private?).  Not sure where the best muni course is so open to offers.  Just bought some 2nd hand irons on fleabay so am waiting for them to turn up.  I also bought a fly Jackson style glove as I managed to blister my left hand

[hairich]

i will play

[account_inactive]

What about golf though rich?

BTW can you cut my hair this week? I've started to look like a gruffalo

[Percy B]

A Gruffalo? What's a Gruffalo?






Is wanting to play golf a worse afliction than knowing all the words to popular childrens books?

[Joepicalli]

Golf? Jesus fucking Christ.

Is this a euphemism for a hole in one?

[account_inactive]

 

[dobbin]

I hope this is some clever ironic twist Dylog - Golf? FFS.

The gruffalo on the other hand, is brilliant :



Why Percy, dont you know? There's no such thing as a Gruffalo...

[Percy B]

Why Percy, dont you know? There's no such thing as a Gruffalo...

Don't get me started....

[uptown]

Not sure where the best muni course is so open to offers.

I think Beauchief, I also played Tinsley park which is nice though more of a walk than a round, and Concord, which seemed a little 'rough' at the edges, and I got my ball nicked from the fairway.
Plenty of change from £15 IIRC - so who's in for this fourball, or should we book more than one teetime?
On a related note, I remember a Yorkshire vs Saaaaf Yorkshire footie match in the past, with injuries aplenty. Could we organise something to coincide with our world cup win, with wider geographic boundaries obviously? Any 'dribblers' out there?

[nik at work]

I have played both golf and football to a very lowly standard. I'd join in on the understanding that I'm shit.

[lagerstarfish]

I hope this is some clever ironic twist Dylog - Golf? FFS.

The gruffalo on the other hand, is brilliant :


Why Percy, dont you know? There's no such thing as a Gruffalo...

The chalk marks led to the limestone cave
Where Percy's child was a bit less brave
Percy's child was a bit less bored...
And Percy snored
and snored, and snored.

[account_inactive]

Does that make 4?  I'm waiting for my clubs to arrive this week. Psyched to dress like a pimp

[Zods Beard]

Why dress like a pimp when you could dress like a god?



Sporting hero indeed.

[Joepicalli]

If this thread continues, I for one will be using UKC more often and without irony. Look what you're driving me to. (Oh Christ I've just made a golf pun).

[fatdoc]

golf is a good walk spoilt. crazy golf on the other hand is awesome.

Pitch & putt with a kid in a pram & 6 cans of stella is a great way to pass the time in my experience an all..

[hairich]

what ya mean ya cant wait to dress like a pimp.have you no mirrors in any of your houses dylan

[Sloper]

There are lots of similarities between golf and climbing.

Golf requires you to spend loads on money on equipment that doesn't acutally make you a better golfer.

Golf requires all family holidays to be planned around golf courses.

Golfers wear silly clothes.

Golfer's talk in cant.

Golfers cheat like fuck when banging on about ethics.

Golfers can talk you trough a whole round shot by shot, mimining their swing too.

enough already?

[Percy B]

Never mind all this barracking, Dylan. Here's the good news. Whilst in Sainsbury's this morning stealing fruit and hiding it in a grumpy two year old, I spied their latest special offer - end of the magazines aisle. A set of the finest Dunlop "Whack-Fuck" bats that  £119.95 can buy. Absolute bargain, and with a lovely blue bag to keep all 14 of them in.....

[Sloper]

So you're keen to be the caddy for the day then, I'd actually pay good money to hear you shout out ' I think Sir needs the number 7 whack fuck bat'

[Percy B]

I don't think that would be wise - my brief flirtations with the world of whack-fuck have been fraught with difficulties....for example, the time a famous Sheffield climber/wannabee golfer took me and several other routesetting reprobates for a session at a driving range near Brum. We all had a ball, but everybody else got most upset. Mr Moffatt got vexed with Pickles for scuffing his bespoke driver caused by a shot that looked more like he was digging for oil, me and the weasel got thrown off the putting green simply because we found that the grass was a suitably comfy place for a rather hungover kip, all the staff got wise to us driving with all our might across the lake in a pretty good set of attempts to kill the resident ducks, and then to cap it all there was the police checkpoint on the way home which ended up with Jerry having to spend a lot of time doing some 'explaining' to the contstabulary.

Golf - its alright for an hour or so, but then I'd rather do something thats more fun (like sticking pins in my eyes...)

[fatneck]

This thread is genius! I've always hated (playing) golf and golfers generally yet found myself at a driving range with some scrotes today and I have to admit that it was mildly fun, although with hindsight, this may have been more to do with the fact that said scrotes were worse than I!

I admired the technicality, the precision required and the talent of expert proponents. However, I'm not converted and you can count me out...

Also, wack-fuck is an absolutely brilliant phrase!

[al123]

golf is a good walk spoilt. crazy golf on the other hand is awesome.

haha i have that on my tea mug at home!!! i think a thread is needed for people to celerbrate and show off their tea drinking mugs

[andy_e]

Was one of the said shit whack-fucking scrotes the crouch Si?

[Monolith]

Aye Crouchy, I'm by no means good but would be keen. Fonz won the Cobra driving tournament and is the most deadly serious sportsman in the world so I might drop that invite but sure Donnelly would be keen. Make this dream a reality.

[account_inactive]

My clubs have now arrived and I've had a session at the driving range with them.  So maybe we should have an East vs West vs a bit further North meet?

So far we have Uptown, Rich, Nik..............and the Scouse lot?

[nik at work]

Sounds good Dylan. I also like Uptowns World Cup football idea. I know this is a bit off topic but if people are interested in a Sheffield v Rest of the World (or even a little tournament if we can get the numbers) 5-a-side kick about/have a laugh maybe they could say so either on here or PM me??
If it looks like the numbers would make it a go-er I'll start a new thread. (sorry for the hijack Dylan).

[nik at work]

Actually why would people with an interest in a five-a-side game read a thread about golf? They wouldn't, I'll just start a new thread.

[Monolith]

I'm a golf punter but would still enjoy the craic like.  Hession has been keen for years I think.