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 fiendblog (Read 233225 times)

Fiend

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#925 Re:  fiendblog
February 03, 2020, 12:40:52 pm
Seriously tho, next time you're there in cold connies, try SLB with your left foot on the diagonal edge around the corner. You might need to do some anal stretching to warm up for getting your foot high but I'm sure dunnychambers would oblige.

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#926 Re:  fiendblog
February 03, 2020, 01:27:06 pm

Alex - Nought Bank etc looked absolutely filthy when I drove past the other day. But maybe it would be a good use of an 18 pad send train bellend team to descent en masse and clean it up. ALS is one of the best problems in Yorkshire when it's clean.

 :shrug:

It always looks gloomy from the road but there was plenty enough dry even at new year. It's busier than ever. Must be at least one or two visits a month. Luckily it's a big enough area to accommodate that. I've always found ALS clean, and the moptop
. Silly little boys was clean and dry in Jan as well. An 18 pad send train bellend team wouldn't go amiss on Toboggan though. Maybe it should be added to the station network.

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#927 Re:  fiendblog
February 03, 2020, 01:41:59 pm
Wow okay, good to know, I'll give it another look when I'm in the area. When I drove past the blocks where barely distinct from the surrounding hillside jungle bog-garden, it didn't even seem worth the 30 second walk-in for a recce. But things do go up and down esp in a crazy BS winter like this one.

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#928 Re:  fiendblog
February 03, 2020, 01:43:45 pm
Next weekend we're just going to find out where Fiend is going and go there to scream "send it, dude" at him constantly.

Nought Bank is definitely a winter crag. A visit in summer is near impossible with the amount of bracken that's there. Things like Pok-a-Tok (great problem) stay clean, and I expect Trust is always clean (you can walk up that for "7B" if you like, Matt).

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#929 Re:  fiendblog
February 03, 2020, 06:06:24 pm
Some right shit being spoken here. It makes a change to be reading it rather than writing it.
I think for SLB, I get hands on the arete, paste left toe on a dreadful smear and push into it, then have to slap round the corner into the pocket.

I'm slighly different - get both hands on the arete highish, then horrible smears on the face, to somehow get a toe on the hold on the arete then pull around the arete to slap for the pocket and rock up. I find getting anything out of those smears really hard (bycycling legs) and I can imagine that being a bit easier for the less tall....

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#930 Re:  fiendblog
February 03, 2020, 07:11:59 pm
No it ain't, and that casually skimmed over "get both hands on the arete highish" is absolutely nails. So nerrrrr.

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#931 Re:  fiendblog
February 03, 2020, 09:38:31 pm
No it ain't, and that casually skimmed over "get both hands on the arete highish" is absolutely nails. So nerrrrr.

Yes it’s hard. Can’t get the top good one with feet still on the break....

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#932 fiendblogThe state of climbing 2019.
March 09, 2020, 01:00:10 am
The state of climbing 2019.


A factual analysis:

PROS:

  • Ground Up guides - especially the North Wales Bouldering bible but also in general. Elegant, functional, and characterful, I like the consistent subtle prose and descriptions.
  • The amount of indoor bouldering walls around - God knows we need them with this weather. Hurrah for commercial populist bandwagons that actually provide some good fun and good training.
  • Beta chalk - getting harder to find because like all good things people want generic crap instead, but still as deliciously crunchy as ever. I had to go back to using Metolius SuperChalk when I ran out of Beta and it was like finely powdered butter on my fingers. Drying agent my arse.
  • IFSC - constantly entertaining throughout spring summer and autumn. Production values are now nearly matching the exceptional climbing and (mostly) setting values and even Baldy Boscoe's commentary has transcended tolerable and is actually sometimes good. WTF did I watch before this was on regularly??
  • South Stack - still the illest. It only took one route to remind me how deeply wonderful Red Wall was. My plan to live their for 2 months over the autumn failed dismally though. The best "roadside" adventure in the UK if not the world, and all quite amenable too.
  • Peaks / Yorkshire sport climbers - quite surprising given the  pointless, miserable, unaesthetic, repetitive, puritanical work ethic sub-genre of climbing they're so addicted to, but actually mostly a nice and welcoming bunch. Being able to mix and match and share ropes and chat (blah blah polished crimp blah minging undercut blah blah polished knobble etc) with random strangers was a relaxed sociability I'd almost forgotten about.
  • Building patios - a bit naughty but oh so nice. Not talking about Hayward's "let's build decking structures the size of a Swedish chalet in a sensitive nature reserve and then make sure they're hidden in all the topo shots" at Fontainfawr, just common or garden reshuffling of ground level blocks and stones. It's the closest to gardening I come these days thank fuck and sometimes more fun than the climbing. I particularly enjoyed dismantling the patio beneath My Private Idaho (hard lineless eliminate) at Crafnant and rebuilding it beneath Riley's Arete (mid-grade classic prow) - redistribution of patio For The Many, Not The Few!
  • The amount of techy slopey weirdness indoor problems - generally because it means that walls are setting with half decent holds not the dismal old style Core and Holdz shite. But also they're quite fun and sometimes fat weak people with some outdoor nouse can do them.
  • Dogs at crags - far better than people at crags. Infinitely better than squawking kids (how did those idiots get their trio of rampantly shrill grubs down to Moat anyway??) Apart from that one Buster at Trollers, he was a bit of a dick.


CONS:

  • Alan James - gets his knickers in a twist because I post a polite but critical reply about the content of an article. Bans me on the basis that all I do is post negativity BUT SOMEHOW KEEPS THE OFFENDING POST UP - perhaps because it's got far more total likes/dislikes than the original article post AND has caused enough discussion for my name to crop of 41 times in the replies. Hope you're liking those page views, user engagement and advertiser views that my "ban-worthy but not censorship-worthy" (how the fuck does that work??) post was getting you. Then demands me to justify why I should be let back on the forum. Tell you what Alan, if you just apologise for your double standards and using my post to keep the discussion flowing whilst simultaneously banning me for it, I won't ask you to justify how you can get away with abusing forum moderation (I reviewed the UKC forum guidelines to know full well that I didn't contravene them) that much.
  • The amount of indoor wall boulderers around - cunts, the lot of them. I don't know what's worse, that they all got into it indoors and are all vacuous shallow gym bunnies who aspire to go to the Plantation or Almscliff and think that Malham is the epitome of adventurous roped climbing (and clearly don't know how to brush the fucking holds indoors nor out if they ever get there) or that because they all got into it indoors, they're all far far stronger than I'll ever be, regardless of age, gender, body shape or stupid floppy hipster haircuts. Arseholes.
  • Videos full of choppy editing and shoehorned slo-mo - I'm amazed this is still a thing, but apparently "unwatchabley annoying" is still an important ambition for today's budding Youtuber. What part of their brain thinks "I am filming this problem, and the movement looks really cool, so midway through I'll chop out random sections of the move and glue the rest together so it looks like my camera was malfunctioning, yes great idea. Maybe I'll slo-mo one hand slap out of the remaining 50% of unedited movement just to make it more jarring". Because I want to carve their fucking skulls open and burn out that part with acid until they actually use some fucking sense. Also special shout out for anyone doing a trailer for a po-faced pretentious bouldering film and then a teaser FOR THE SODDING TRAILER. You aren't making a $500 million Hollywood movie, get a grip.
  • The weather - two days of heatwave or occasional dryness followed by two weeks of pissing wank isn't weather, it's shit on a stick. Where the stick is also made out of shit.
  • The Climbing Hangar - One of the 3 out of 37 indoor walls that I've been to that enforces a strict shirt-on policy (presumably they don't allow girls just wearing sports bras either), and since the other two are council / general sports run, the only one apparently run by climbers, but clearly not for climbers who actually want to train, on a damp warm summer's day, by pulling hard. The reason behind the rule?? "It's just wall rules" Why?? "Because it's the wall rules".  OH JUST PISS THE FUCK OFF. Incidentally on the subject of how intimidating shirtless males must be, out of all the possible choices at The Boardroom (good wall, no stupid rules, go there instead), a dad and young daughter chose the shirtless meathead to ask to take a few photos of them in front of the wall. Oh the intimidation! Oh the horror! FFS.
  • Mundane shit VLogs - The great thing about the internet is anyone can make and share content. The terrible thing about the internet is anyone can make and share content. And yes that applies to climbing VLogs too. Climbing footage is fine, personal videos are great, but if you're going to wrap it up as some heavily commentated fucking "lifestyle" diary, it better be remotely interesting and exciting. The same old same old with a lot of filler and some fucking blethering shite into the camera - FFS get your snout off my screen, if I wanted talking heads I'd watch some TV chat show, I want to see cool climbing, not some over-hyped dross. Bonus anti-points if you're spamming it all over social media without the slightest though to it's relevance or value. 
  • Road cyclists - One of the main things putting me off moving down here. What's the point having 20,000 Peaks and Yorkshire crags on your doorstep if it takes all day to get there because you're stuck behind a flotilla of matching-logo lycra-clad cunts swarming like a cloud of road-based midges on their poncy fucking roadbikes that cost more than my Audi and weigh less than Paul B's toe, weaving around to ensure than any attempt to get past them and get to a crag in the same day you set off results in a head-on collision with a tractor and the self-righteous twats videoing it to smugly post on a Indignant Road Bikers 4 Justice 4 Ever facebook group. Thank fuck I can go the other way to Helsby or Wales. As for climbers who have partly given up and are focusing on road cycling more....don't get me started, there aren't enough swearwords (I'm running low already).
  • Bog - I moved down to Scotland to avoid this malignant entity*, and yet somehow it's floated down after me. Wankerish stuff. Particular fuck off to the bog that I trod in in my freshly re-proofed £35 Decathlon waterproof shoes over the ankle twice, so they filled with brown slurry and the waterproofing must have worked because it wouldn't drain out. (* actually the malignant entity I moved down to avoid was Scotland itself).
  • The lack of old school board-style indoor problems - Jesus fuck does EVERYTHING have to be techy slopey weirdness these days?? What if you actually want to train by pulling on holds and don't want success entirely dictated by hypothetical conditions in some grimey warehouse sweatbox, combined with a specific 3 minute window after setting when a hold has been chalked but before it's caked in gank, plus some bloody yoga-like flexibility and teetering on some random textured skin-scraping shelf. You can have too much of a good thing, try adding some actual holds FFS.
  • People missing off UKB - You know it's in a bad state when people actually start replying seriously to Mr ScrapeScroat's threads the poor buggers. Bring back Dense, Dave, Cofe, Scouse, Jasper, Sloper and several others, I miss their banter and discussions. I'd even tolerate the return of Slackbot as long as he didn't actually post anything.
  • People who don't go trad climbing - you're all disgraces. Do you think I want to be scraping lichen and moss off with my teeth, just because you're so lazy and cowardly that you'd rather be polishing up the Catwalk or burying Trackside under chalk ALL THE SODDING TIME instead of getting any variety and breadth in your climbing. I've been in away in Scotland for years and you slackers have let everything slide into the over-eroded vs neglected-and-filthy dichotomy. Rubbish.
  • Speed ""climbing"" - the biggest piece of turd in the history of colossal pieces of turd. It's scarcely worth my contempt - but it gets it anyway.


So there you go. Objective science. You read it here first.







Source: The state of climbing 2019.

Fiend

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#933 Re:  fiendblog
March 09, 2020, 08:16:50 am
Fuck off compiler, that was just somewhere to store the photo!!!

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Winter Grit.....My Antisocial Way




So that was the winter past and I did it my way, mostly antisocially. Although not entirely, sometimes I managed to outwit the Gapescrote plan to shiver my blubber off on prolonged belays on drizzle-blasted obscurities and actually get him to do something suitable for a grotty gale-ridden winter season, sometimes I met fellow obscurists and sometimes random people which worked particularly well at Scout Hut (I only walked in after driving through a sodden Widdop valley because I needed a piss and it turned out to be bewilderingly dry and another dude was reccing and his mates turned up with loads of pads, sometimes the luck goes my way).

Anyway even though I often spend the routes seasons begging around for partners, trying to get anyone interested in similar exploration and able to give off the right vibes for my tradding, when it comes to bouldering I seem to be quite happy on my own. Sure the occasional highball warrants and rewards a pad party of send train bellends, but for actually getting stuff done, the simplicity of my own schedule and pacing suits me well. Following inspirations with all focus and no distraction, and then the more sociable days out tend to feel fun in comparison.

So this is how it happened, lots of cool problems that might be quite familiar if you've been living 15 minutes away for the last decade, but I think are pretty explorative for someone who has been living 4 hours away for the last decade and has his first grit season in 10 years living locally. Even though the meteorological theme for this grit season was "wank on a stick", the relentless winds that brought in all the fucking rain also brought in some surprising drying speeds as well as making far eastern and tree-shrouded venues invaluable. So in the end, by a lot of forecast checking and venue divining, I got a decent amount done....







...and now it ends. Has the grit season ended? When did it end? What time is it? What day is it? Who the fuck knows. I still have my winter grit beard on because I don't know what to do with it.... Well it ended before I could really get to grips with many routes, before I could at least *try* to put reasonable grit bouldering momentum to test above runners instead of pads. Sobeit. I probably feel something about that but I'm not even sure what. So instead I can look back at the times above as a bit of a retrospective celebration.


Source: Winter Grit.....My Antisocial Way

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#935 fiendblogFailure
April 21, 2020, 07:00:04 pm
Failure


Theme tune for now (but without the uplifting twist)....



This was originally - a couple of months ago - going to be a blog post about struggling with the alarmingly familiar failure to get back into trad climbing after a successful and very consistent half-year bouldering campaign, along with with a suggestion that those who don't struggle with failure nor climbing psychology, or choose to do a climbing genre that is much less susceptible to it, might want to stop reading, and those who like to smugly rubberneck someone's struggles from their own superior abilities might want to fuck right off.

Since then, due to the coronavirus lockdown, it's more about contemplating failure on a more persistent level. There are many things that could be said about covid-19 and lockdowns, about the spirit of the law vs the letter of the law, the cure vs the disease, death vs disruption, about quality of life and it's inherent finiteness, about the realistic risks in socially distant activities, about social / emotional / physical costs, about blanket rules, about holier-than-thou judgementalism and turning on each other - I have no comment on any of them.

Instead this is about my climbing (again if this is inappropriate subject matter, find that Back button asap) and, of course, lack thereof. And failure, and the likelihood thereof. I don't know when the current situation will end, and I don't know what climbing state I will be after it (going into it, I was motivationally and physically good at least). I suspect when this.....confinement is over and at least some climbers are unleashed upon the crags, frothing like dogs on heat, imbued with the power of endless fingerboarding sessions and home-workouts straight off a billion fucking social media videos, with their topped up CV fitness from actually effective daily allowances of running and cycling, I will be crawling out on leaden legs and subdued psychology wondering if I can walk in to Stanage let alone do some HVSes there.

(Although that might all be academic given that this unprecedented and utterly farcical mega-drought will come to an end - quite possibly an exactly coincident end - at some point)

For a decade I have known that the climbing lifestyle is essential for me, not as a matter as of mere hedonistic pleasure, but as an overall level of activity that keeps me fit and healthy, keeps my entire body moving, and compensates for the limits of my 30%-venous-return legs. This is not some kneejerk reaction to justify why I need to be out (or in) climbing, as I wrote about this in one of my earliest blog posts whilst learning to cope with DVTs:

Every step I've taken, every length I've swum, every stretch I've done, every time I've sat in an awkward position with my legs up so they didn't swell, every time I've dilligently asked the doctors about what I can do to help my healing, every time I've rested when I didn't feel like it, every time I've been conscious to take care of myself, every little bit I've pushed to get my fitness back, it's been because there's something I want that fitness for - living a good life in general, and living a climbing lifestyle....which is pretty damn good ;). I make no claims of greatness, but I feel happy and proud to have this attitude and happy and proud that climbing is a big part of it.
Further, it is fairly essential to help alleviate my digestive issues (everyone I've consulted has highlighted the need to reduce overall stress, and climbing is a key de-stressor / meditative process, also the level of activity helps with my metabolism and appetite), AND to alleviate my long term psychological issues (it gives me something to live for and fight for, as alluded to above). Incidentally, yes I coped okay with several months off with a broken foot in 2005 - 15 years younger and pre-DVTs, and with several weeks off with mashed soft-tissue in 2017 - with lots of regular gym and upper-body-only wall visits. Different situations.

In the current situation I have been doing the best I can - running most days and longer gentle walks on "rest" days. And the usual fingerboarding shit although the best exercise with that was trying to drill the fucker in to solid tungsten pretending to be brick. The result of this regular CV exercise: very slowly worsening running (a tiny decrease but noticeable), achy legs, slightly sore lower back, general sluggishness. Past experience has proven to me that extended climbing periods or intermittent heavy gym sessions have noticeably improved my running and thus my fitness (even when I've been rarely doing it), whilst running itself hasn't. Strange? Yes. I have a strange body. This is NOT a matter of specific exercises nor will it be miraculously alleviated by doing fucking yoga nor burpees (clue: burpees are really leg-reliant). It's a matter of an overall active lifestyle that is currently "banned".

"Staying inside and painting marines" has proven to be damaging to my physical and mental health and this time is no exception. The effect on my climbing will be at least as detrimental - in recent years it's taken me at least the same amount of time as  the "time off" period to recover so I do not have high hopes this time.

Finally, some media from.....previously....









Source: Failure

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#936 Re:  fiendblog
April 21, 2020, 09:36:48 pm
I feel i should know, what are pic 2 & 3?

 

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