[SA Chris]

Worse places to go.

I think I've done more classic E1/2 routes at Brimham than anywhere else.

[Fiend]

VS is where it's at at Brimham, I was a bit jealous that he had them all to do.

I've done Frensis Direct, the E1 on Rough Wall, Hanging Groove, Ritornal, Enigma, Black Chipper, Noticeboard Wall and Red Tape.

Tried Halcyon Daze but the slopers were filthy despite how open it is. Still got Picnic, Charming Crack and The Arch. What have I missed?

[SA Chris]

Halcyon Daze was my first ever E2 - a bit of a stage to perform on, I think I got applause from picnickers

Dog leg Crack? Not done notice Board Wall and Red Tape, Picnic or Charming Crack

[Hoseyb]

If charming crack is on the list,  you have to take on the brutaliser...  Bog crack is also a good struggle.

[Fiend]

Hosey, one of these days I will try to properly get into gruelling rounded overhanging offwidth climbing, just for the LOLZ. The next day at Brimham probably won't be the day though 

[comPiler]

Keeping it dry.
10 June 2017, 11:14 am



Long time no blog, been too busy climbing. Edited highlights: The Maw (FA), Extreme Walks, Mean Feet, Breaking Point, A Far Cry From Squamish, Mirage, Tricky Dicky, Life And Times, Call To Arms, False Gods, Dawn, Grande Plage var, Sunny Corner Lane, Pass The Pigs, Demolition. Most if not all of which helped by good conditions and reasonable skin, all down to that lovely delicious and nutritious anti-hydral cream. A few people have been asking me about it so here's how I use the stuff:

Method for anti-hydral??

Carefully peel the foreskin back (or wrap carefully in clingfilm if     circumcised), apply a copious coping, re-cover, and let marinate     overnight. Guaranteed like leather after a week of this.

Errrr okay. Right this isn't a scientific post about the composition methodology and risks of anti-hydral. You know it's an extreme skin-drying cream from Germany, you know excessive use could lead to peeling, cracking, flappers etc, and you know how to google to buy a tube. This is about application because googling for how to apply it brings up loads of dodgy methods. Below is my method and the principle is simple:

Apply a small amount to the actual areas you're going to sweat, keep away from already dry / hard skin areas, and build it up over time if you need to. If you take time off climbing after regular anti-hydral usage, watch out for hard skin and sand/moisturise if needed.

I.e. put it on the middle of the tips because that's what sweats and is most critical for grip, avoid the edges and any creases in the finger joints. I apply a little bit before bed and leave it on overnight. This seems to work well.

Pictures:



Yes - thumb is correct, a small amount in the middle, no excess at edges. If this is not enough then it can be built up over time.

No 1 - nope, too much rubbed away from crucial middle of tip, too much on edges which will give excess hard skin,

No 2 - nope, you're not laying bloody cement down, this will take ages to dry and possibly give a damagingly strong effect.

No 3 - nope, rubbed down into creases which will produce hard skin there which will crack and peel.

No 4 - nope, rubbed too far down whole finger including creases, if you're concerned about a2 tendon area sweating, what sort of monster jugs are you using?? Jeez. May very rarely be useful for horrendous vertical grit slopers.



Yes too all. This is what I do and it has a small but noticeable drying effect for the next day, without building up hard skin in problematic places. If I need to I can add a bit more - including applying to the thumb and softer pads on the palm. If I'm not climbing for a bit, I will sand and moisturise these areas to avoid hard skin build up in the days after the anti-hydral usage.

Hope that helps :)



Source:  fiendblog

[comPiler]

Taking The Grade.
21 June 2017, 12:49 pm



What a ridiculous concept. If I take the grade, what am I going to do with it? Stamp it on a medal? Tattoo it on my bellend (suitably enlarged if the grade is a BIG NUMBER) and wave it around to pick up hot chicks (or hunky blokes)? Superglue it onto my ego and see if it increases my sense of self-worth? Maybe I could make a little hutch for it, feed it kale and quinoa or steak pie and chips and see if it grows into a bigger grade? Do I need to take it on walkies? What about pet insurance? Worming tablets?

Maybe I could just take it as a fair indication of the level of challenge I just tackled, and that was the challenge I anticipated and prepared for and it was enjoyable and satisfying?? Sounds more like it.

Except it doesn't always work like that. Grades can be an unfair indication. Sometimes innocuously so....a bit soft, a bit hard (or is that just the after-effects of the tattooing?). Sometimes plain horseshit. Usually they get ironed out over time with consensus, but not always. Did you get the right level of challenge?? Definitely not. Do you take that grade (if you like taking grades) if it was clearly wrong?? Errrr.....

(How do I know that a grade is "wrong"?? I use common sense, experience, and the fact that, despite appearances, I'm not a bloody idiot. It's a bit easier with trad grades because they're fairly objective and usually correspond to unarguable facts about the climb: whether there is protection, whether there are rests, whether the rock is good, whether there are things to hit, etc etc. Sport grades are a bit less objective, bouldering grades are subjective toss invariably corresponding to reach and skin conditions rather than any actual difficulty. Sure with trad there are some times where one can say "it's a bit soft" or "a bit hard" and could go a bit either way and you wouldn't argue. But there's enough times where one can say "this is simply not the correct grade based on the facts about the climb and comparison with many other similar climbs all of which would have to be regraded" etc etc).

This all came about at Helsby with Coel Hellier Discoverer Of Planets. Lovely crag. Never had a bad day there, never done a duff route. This day went pretty well: The Umbrella, Calcutta Wall, Brandenburg Wall, Flake Wall.... Flake Wall is one of those unfortunate routes that is really rather good but suffers from a duff grade and hordes of bellends finding it all too easy to set-up a top-rope after Flake Crack, failpoint it, and claim some drivel like "FIRST E5 OMGZOR".

"Are you going to take E5 for that, Fiend", says the Discoverer Of Planets.

"Of course bloody not", says I.

As a bog standard onsight, it's not even hard for E4 (okay Coel thought it was hard for that so maybe we can average out at normal E4), it's not the hardest one I did that day (Calcutta just pipped it), and it's certainly going to be nowhere near The Brush Off (eeek!) or CFK (looks morpho nails). There's little doubt about the Flake Crack runner position, and a good cam in the face is more important anyway. The two crux moves are easy and positive 6a and a fall would give a clatter but not anything too serious. Facts, scientific facts. Thus, E4 6a. Quality is more subjective but I would say 2 stars as the crimps are just so nice and the position above good gear is too. Obviously as a failpoint it would get minus two stars for such a pointless non-experience.

So, taking the grade. I take the grade that indicates the challenge. If it's a bit uncertain, the guidebook will do (the latest definitive guide, not the Choadfax comics, which incidentally manages to get all 4 grades of those Helsby routes wrong, good effort). If it's a bit wrong, I'll take the right one. If no-one minds. Now I'm going to take it to the vets and buy some biscuits as a treat for it afterwards.



Source:  fiendblog

[Muenchener]

What a ridiculous concept. If I take the grade, what am I going to do with it? ... Superglue it onto my ego and see if it increases my sense of self-worth?

This. Obvsly.

[comPiler]

This time it's personal.
21 August 2017, 10:37 pm



I had a pretty good spring in the South West. And by good I guess I mean bloody great. So great I lost my will to waffle on about it, sorry. I went down with a tolerable forecast, a refreshing amount of potential partners and a short but sweet wishlist. 19 routes that required 11 days climbing or something. Somehow (luck? bloody-mindedness? anti-hydral?) I did most of them. Except Uphill Racer escaped because the weather got too hot, Gold escaped because it was too horrifying for me and a ledge had fallen off (not under my weight I might add although while I was standing on a sort of block rigging a sort of lower-off, Stanners could see daylight up behind the block - I think he was belaying halfway to Dublin), Can You Walk Like You Talk escaped because I never got back. Of the others - Extreme Walks to Mean Feat, Life And Times to Andromeda Strain to False Gods - there were common threads: they were mostly fairly challenging, they were all truly enjoyable experiences, and they were all particular and personal desires.

Some of the desired routes corresponded exactly to "essential" coffee-table-book-ticking Rockfax-Top-50 "should" routes, but I wanted to do them *despite* all of that clutter. Some of them corresponded to "obvious local interest" but not so obviously what one would travel for. Some of them corresponded to "handful of known ascents" and in the shadow of nearby classics. But all of them had something that stood out to me in particular. A climbing style, a distinctive rock type, an alluring photo, a guidebook warning, a mysterious aura, and usually a less tangible element of intrigue. Why those routes in particular??

In the words of Mick Fowler:

"The Urge"

In the slightly more profound words of Calvin:

"I must obey the inscrutable exhortations of my soul"

I sometimes don't know exactly why. But this time I always knew the end result - great experiences that lived up to my expectations. Of course this doesn't make me special, we all live climbing for the same reason (apart from those sat under a F8b for two decades maybe). But it makes me happy that I'm on the right lines for pleasure and satisfaction even if there are a lot of up and downs getting there.



Source:  fiendblog

[tomtom]

For fucks sake fiend - as a regular reader of your blog I was hoping for bad weather, failure and compensation for both being some videos of RC cars doing things.

WHAT IS HAPPENING TO THE WORLD!!!!

[tomtom]

Ps. Well done. Sounds like a great trip.

[SA Chris]

Indeed. Nice sideways swipe at the IO though.

[duncan]

Well done Matt.

Except Uphill Racer escaped because the weather got too hot, ...

Uphill feels like a long time ago and practically a different galaxy right now, but we'll be back.

[SA Chris]

Assume this is the Uphill Hole in the ground Uphill Racer, not the Screda Point one

[Fiend]

Uphill feels like a long time ago and practically a different galaxy right now, but we'll be back.

 

Sorry TT! Awful isn't it. A couple more posts in the pipeline are calm analysis of failures and a positive trip report 

Any referred resembelence of redpoint suffering to existing climbers is of course entirely coincidental...

[kingholmesy]

Andromeda Strain

This routes surely falls into the category of ...

Some of them corresponded to "handful of known ascents" and in the shadow of nearby classics.
 

It looks awesome but terrifying.  What was it like?  Death on a stick?  Or justifiable for a family man such as myself?

[Fiend]

Exactly! Why that route? Fuck knows.

It's fine, gotta be much easier than your Butter Hole shale new route horrors. I updated the UKC description:

The awesome slab to the right of Mercury, starting from the same stance, is technically reasonable but a fine test of gear optimisation and composure. Easy for the grade with mostly adequate protection for the dilligent, but also a couple of potentially serious run-outs on pitch 2 - rescue would be inconvenient. The climbing is continually excellent.
P1. E3 5c 30m. Move right from the stance to gain a slim overlap with difficulty. Traverse delicately right and step across to ledges beneath an orange bulge. Pull over positively and follow a scoop until a step back left gains a featured slab beneath a small roof. Climb leftwards over this and straight up to a good picnic ledge.
P2. E4 5c 50m. Climb above the belay slightly rightwards to a small red fang. Step right and carefully gain a slim red groove. Follow this boldly to various gear below the next ledge. Stand up, take a deep breath, and climb the immaculate red slab on pockets - all rather lonely - straight up then left to gain the overlap with relief. Pull over this on the left, step right to the next overlap, then pull over this one left as well to eventually meet Mercury at the start of it's crux traverse - a very natural continuation to the climbing below. Finish up Mercury with plenty of elation and 50m of rope drag.

I know that Andy Steinberg (strong) and Max Dutson (deranged) did it. According to Tom Last Max said the first pitch was almost a deep water solo, that might have missed something in translation but it does sound like Max, it's not anyway.

[kingholmesy]

Exactly! Why that route? Fuck knows.

It's fine ....

It holds a strange appeal for me too.  I'd discounted it as unjustifiable, but you've renewed my interest ...

I know that Andy Steinberg (strong) and Max Dutson (deranged) did it. According to Tom Last Max said the first pitch was almost a deep water solo, that might have missed something in translation but it does sound like Max, it's not anyway.

... although hearing that Max has done it doesn't count for much - I don't know him well, but he does have a reputation for being a bit of a crazy fucker.

Anyway, have a wad point for getting on it.

[comPiler]

Bad route choices.
23 August 2017, 7:25 pm



Following my successful southern soujorn, and some life-affirming Lakeland larks, I got my wires crossed and my climbing took an inevitable downturn (waxing and waning, ebbing and flowing). I found while I was doing well, I could do both of two things: Get on some pretty fucking weird and sketchy and dubious routes that were at my limit but which I had desired for and prepared for for a while. And get on some fairly challenging but essentially well known and obvious routes on the spur of the moment with little mental preparation or build-up. So far so good. Psyched out of my warped and twisted mind for some full-on horror, and able to cope with most minorly challenging trade routes. And then I got confused and thought that meant I'd be fine on spur of the moment minorly challenging sketchy horrors - wrong conclusion.

So I ended up on This Is Yesterday at Cam Crag getting pumped trying to work out totally blind moves above a cluster of fiddly micro shit, on Scram 79 at Dunkeld getting pumped on irreversible crimping above a wobbly RP shallow C3 and bendy peg, and Star Wars at Falcon Crag trying to pull over a blind crimpy roof above one good wire in a hollow glued on flake and two tiny offsets in crunch. None of these met with success. I rested, lowered off, escaped, sulked and huffed and complained about the grade and eventually realised what had gone wrong. None of these were desperate, but they were all dodgy and all too much with little psyching up - all of them I could have done with much prior meditating on the matter. Or if they'd been those reliable honeypot ticks I claim to disdain. Subtle differences but it's a fine line near your limit.



Source:  fiendblog

[comPiler]

Berdorf.
24 August 2017, 9:45 pm



It's personal again! Who the fuck goes to Berdorf? It's not Siurana or Chullila or Kalymnos or  Ceuse or Frankenjura or Lofoten or anywhere. It's one crag, in the woods, in a tranquil and mostly flat area of Luxembourg for God's sake - hardly Catalunya. On the other hand it's bloody lovely. Imagine driving out of one of 3 campsites in the local village (I highly recommend the extra spacious Belle Vue 2000), after a swift half hour cruise from the airport the night before and swanky meal at the local bar (I highly recommend the seared swordfish with caper butter), parking up next to a cornfield, strolling 5 minutes downhill through ancient woodland and a lost world ravine to be greeted by an amphitheatre of fully bolted double-height Bowden+Kyloe buttresses.

Okay so it could be quite humid and gloomy under the trees in the wrong conditions (bring a soft brush to curb chalk build-up), it will be very busy at weekends, the base is annoyingly sandy (bring a rag to keep your starting blocs clean), and the F9a beast might feel rather short-changed with a crag that excels in F6s (although the F8a beastling would have to be particularly miserable to moan about the smaller selection of immaculate F7c-8a+ face climbs that could tempt even me to sit on a bolt). But for what it is - a singular giant bolted Northumberland crag - it is great. One of the nicest places with the nicest rock and routes I've climbed on - possibly even better than Wilton!

The right-hand walk-in, rather nice in itself, leading past some "High Rocks" style corridors. Don't worry the mediocre and climbing-banned choss on the way in is the only similarity with Southern Shitstone.

The other walk-in, even more charmingly, leads you straight to this. Voleur Le Spits F7a+ *** (F7a?). From 0 to 3 stars in an instant, setting the tone for the quality if not the style.

This is unusually steep for the crag, but still great fun despite it's lack of technicality. Quintessential steep yarding and hooking, pretty easy if you can jam and pace yourself, with a brilliant finish.

Luftikus F6b *** - the amount of quality in the F6a-b range here is exceptional, and as such is a great crag for a bumblathon, although you do have to pull hard even on the easies. This one starts with a ramble before a jug-hauling prow and a final balancy arete move - brilliant.

This wall is the second thing you see (partly because it gets a bit more light than the rest of the amphitheatre) and is irresistably inspiring, just a beautiful bit of rock. Willy F6c *** (F6c+?) is possibly THE classic with a better balance than some other routes including a few hard pulls.

Schotte Bob F6b+ ** - a slight eliminate at the top but still good fun on great rock.

The wall to the left is simply world class, a magnificent 25m sheet of perfect impending sandstone. If you climb F7c-8b you will be translating awe into action with much glee.

Petite Trou F6c ** - another semi-eliminate in a "don't use the arete" sort of way (F6a+ with), but it does make sense where the holds lead you. Like many Berdorf routes this is typically cruxy, involving a long crank off small pockets to a good break.

Tempete F6c+ ** (F7a ***?) I missed out on Takla Makan F7a *** by casually muffing the boulder problem starting crux, thus a brief but explosive trainer-throwing tourette-a-thon tantrum. This route was a very worthy consolation prize, less popular, less chalked, better rock, and...

...no less than 5 mono holds / moves. These are monos 4 and 5, the crux was below using a ring-finger mono (#3) near the bolt to match hand and foot in the upper good pocket. Really satisfying and one of my favourite routes (along with Arrete Paulette! later that day which has a steady but sublime finishing crux on the best sandstone you'll touch here).

Sweating and swearing up Bleausard F6c *** (F6c+?). This was before a diversion to 'bleau itself for a few days, but I doubt it would have made much difference, the slab crux on this route is just plain hard, very tenacious moves with a keyhole slot that mangled my pinky.

Lots of people bring dogs to this crag. Most of them are as peaceful as this fluffy little lady, but a few of them are constantly yappy twats. I love dogs more than people, but seriously, an hour of yapping to not get the message that you shouldn't bring the neurotic fucker along??

More crag wildlife. This wee fella (2 inches long) was a bit dopey. Probably highly confused by the weather. Last time I was in this bit of Europe it was 34'C most days. This time 20-ish and showery on a few days. Most of the rock dries fairly quick although obviously fresh breezy conditions are best.







No tears please, it's a waste of good suffering. Luxembourg makes an easy and palatable rainy day excursion, being a mere 30 minutes to the city limits. The Old Quarter and city battlements are cool, although, in general, fuck culture (I still like cool architecture tho).

The end result of this is, errr, more Nesscliffe and Pfalz psyche. Of course it is. Personal reasons you see.



Source:  fiendblog

[Muenchener]

Looks very interesting. How would you say it compares to the Vosges sandstone in Alsace (which is a bit closer for me)?

And what's the deal with the permit thing?

[tomtom]

Excellent blogging fiend. Waddage next time I'm on via a PC.

[Fiend]

Muenchener, I have no idea, I've never been to the Vosges sandstone in Alsace. The only possible solution is for me to fly over for a long weekend, and perform an exacting scientific comparison by gathering as much evidence from as many routes / blocs as possible...

The quality is generally very good - there is the odd sandy patch on some lower breaks but that's usually obvious and most of it is hard and often perfect in the upper reaches. The texture is relatively coarse, not like gritstone but quite featured with nodules and crozzles, it does vary from buttress to buttress. The closest comparison I've come across is some of the sheerer and tougher bits of Kyloe or Back Bowden.

The permit thing is no longer an issue, you just have to be a member of an UIAA-affiliated organisation (inc BMC) and carry evidence of that. The crag was often very busy and there was never anyone checking this. It does seem fairly unregulated despite the noticeboards of rules, so there is more onus on us climbers to keep things clean and tidy (litter was not a problem, but as anywhere in Europe, shitting near the crag was (pro-tip: take the faint diagonal trail downhill beneath the bench at sector Isatis, keep going past the shitting spots 20m from the crag and there's lots of privacy further on), as was chalk build-up and people treading sand onto lower holds).

[SA Chris]

That 7c /8a wall looks like something straight out of Red River Gorge photos. Looks good.

[Fiend]

It looked good in the photos and topos in the book, but in real life it's a real beauty!