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#900 Re:  fiendblog
November 01, 2019, 09:53:32 pm
Always enjoy your blogs Fiend.*

Keep on keeping on mate.

*except maybe stuff about about toy soldiers.

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#901 Re:  fiendblog
November 02, 2019, 09:40:46 am
Thanks Holmsey, that's appreciated, especially since the last one is a pile of dung - but I needed to write it due to the timing and just wanting to get it off my chest. The previous one was okay though I thought...

If you want toy soldiers I have a separate blog here:

https://teamshambler.blogspot.com/

Although it's mostly been Quake mapping in the last year... I hope to do a couple of toy soldiers over winter tho ;)

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#902 fiendblogThe state of climbing 2019.
November 09, 2019, 07:00:03 pm
The state of climbing 2019.


A factual analysis:

PROS:

  • Ground Up guides - especially the North Wales Bouldering bible but also in general. Elegant, functional, and characterful, I like the consistent subtle prose and descriptions.
  • The amount of indoor bouldering walls around - God knows we need them with this weather. Hurrah for commercial populist bandwagons that actually provide some good fun and good training.
  • Beta chalk - getting harder to find because like all good things people want generic crap instead, but still as deliciously crunchy as ever. I had to go back to using Metolius SuperChalk when I ran out of Beta and it was like finely powdered butter on my fingers. Drying agent my arse.
  • IFSC - constantly entertaining throughout spring summer and autumn. Production values are now nearly matching the exceptional climbing and (mostly) setting values and even Baldy Boscoe's commentary has transcended tolerable and is actually sometimes good. WTF did I watch before this was on regularly??
  • South Stack - still the illest. It only took one route to remind me how deeply wonderful Red Wall was. My plan to live their for 2 months over the autumn failed dismally though. The best "roadside" adventure in the UK if not the world, and all quite amenable too.
  • Peaks / Yorkshire sport climbers - quite surprising given the  pointless, miserable, unaesthetic, repetitive, puritanical work ethic sub-genre of climbing they're so addicted to, but actually mostly a nice and welcoming bunch. Being able to mix and match and share ropes and chat (blah blah polished crimp blah minging undercut blah blah polished knobble etc) with random strangers was a relaxed sociability I'd almost forgotten about.
  • Building patios - a bit naughty but oh so nice. Not talking about Hayward's "let's build decking structures the size of a Swedish chalet in a sensitive nature reserve and then make sure they're hidden in all the topo shots" at Fontainfawr, just common or garden reshuffling of ground level blocks and stones. It's the closest to gardening I come these days thank fuck and sometimes more fun than the climbing. I particularly enjoyed dismantling the patio beneath My Private Idaho (hard lineless eliminate) at Crafnant and rebuilding it beneath Riley's Arete (mid-grade classic prow) - redistribution of patio For The Many, Not The Few!
  • The amount of techy slopey weirdness indoor problems - generally because it means that walls are setting with half decent holds not the dismal old style Core and Holdz shite. But also they're quite fun and sometimes fat weak people with some outdoor nouse can do them.
  • Dogs at crags - far better than people at crags. Infinitely better than squawking kids (how did those idiots get their trio of rampantly shrill grubs down to Moat anyway??) Apart from that one Buster at Trollers, he was a bit of a dick.


CONS:

  • Alan James - gets his knickers in a twist because I post a polite but critical reply about the content of an article. Bans me on the basis that all I do is post negativity BUT SOMEHOW KEEPS THE OFFENDING POST UP - perhaps because it's got far more total likes/dislikes than the original article post AND has caused enough discussion for my name to crop of 41 times in the replies. Hope you're liking those page views, user engagement and advertiser views that my "ban-worthy but not censorship-worthy" (how the fuck does that work??) post was getting you. Then demands me to justify why I should be let back on the forum. Tell you what Alan, if you just apologise for your double standards and using my post to keep the discussion flowing whilst simultaneously banning me for it, I won't ask you to justify how you can get away with abusing forum moderation (I reviewed the UKC forum guidelines to know full well that I didn't contravene them) that much.
  • The amount of indoor wall boulderers around - cunts, the lot of them. I don't know what's worse, that they all got into it indoors and are all vacuous shallow gym bunnies who aspire to go to the Plantation or Almscliff and think that Malham is the epitome of adventurous roped climbing (and clearly don't know how to brush the fucking holds indoors nor out if they ever get there) or that because they all got into it indoors, they're all far far stronger than I'll ever be, regardless of age, gender, body shape or stupid floppy hipster haircuts. Arseholes.
  • Videos full of choppy editing and shoehorned slo-mo - I'm amazed this is still a thing, but apparently "unwatchabley annoying" is still an important ambition for today's budding Youtuber. What part of their brain thinks "I am filming this problem, and the movement looks really cool, so midway through I'll chop out random sections of the move and glue the rest together so it looks like my camera was malfunctioning, yes great idea. Maybe I'll slo-mo one hand slap out of the remaining 50% of unedited movement just to make it more jarring". Because I want to carve their fucking skulls open and burn out that part with acid until they actually use some fucking sense. Also special shout out for anyone doing a trailer for a po-faced pretentious bouldering film and then a teaser FOR THE SODDING TRAILER. You aren't making a $500 million Hollywood movie, get a grip.
  • The weather - two days of heatwave or occasional dryness followed by two weeks of pissing wank isn't weather, it's shit on a stick. Where the stick is also made out of shit.
  • The Climbing Hangar - One of the 3 out of 37 indoor walls that I've been to that enforces a strict shirt-on policy (presumably they don't allow girls just wearing sports bras either), and since the other two are council / general sports run, the only one apparently run by climbers, but clearly not for climbers who actually want to train, on a damp warm summer's day, by pulling hard. The reason behind the rule?? "It's just wall rules" Why?? "Because it's the wall rules".  OH JUST PISS THE FUCK OFF. Incidentally on the subject of how intimidating shirtless males must be, out of all the possible choices at The Boardroom (good wall, no stupid rules, go there instead), a dad and young daughter chose the shirtless meathead to ask to take a few photos of them in front of the wall. Oh the intimidation! Oh the horror! FFS.
  • Mundane shit VLogs - The great thing about the internet is anyone can make and share content. The terrible thing about the internet is anyone can make and share content. And yes that applies to climbing VLogs too. Climbing footage is fine, personal videos are great, but if you're going to wrap it up as some heavily commentated fucking "lifestyle" diary, it better be remotely interesting and exciting. The same old same old with a lot of filler and some fucking blethering shite into the camera - FFS get your snout off my screen, if I wanted talking heads I'd watch some TV chat show, I want to see cool climbing, not some over-hyped dross. Bonus anti-points if you're spamming it all over social media without the slightest though to it's relevance or value. 
  • Road cyclists - One of the main things putting me off moving down here. What's the point having 20,000 Peaks and Yorkshire crags on your doorstep if it takes all day to get there because you're stuck behind a flotilla of matching-logo lycra-clad cunts swarming like a cloud of road-based midges on their poncy fucking roadbikes that cost more than my Audi and weigh less than Paul B's toe, weaving around to ensure than any attempt to get past them and get to a crag in the same day you set off results in a head-on collision with a tractor and the self-righteous twats videoing it to smugly post on a Indignant Road Bikers 4 Justice 4 Ever facebook group. Thank fuck I can go the other way to Helsby or Wales. As for climbers who have partly given up and are focusing on road cycling more....don't get me started, there aren't enough swearwords (I'm running low already).
  • Bog - I moved down to Scotland to avoid this malignant entity*, and yet somehow it's floated down after me. Wankerish stuff. Particular fuck off to the bog that I trod in in my freshly re-proofed ÂŁ35 Decathlon waterproof shoes over the ankle twice, so they filled with brown slurry and the waterproofing must have worked because it wouldn't drain out. (* actually the malignant entity I moved down to avoid was Scotland itself).
  • The lack of old school board-style indoor problems - Jesus fuck does EVERYTHING have to be techy slopey weirdness these days?? What if you actually want to train by pulling on holds and don't want success entirely dictated by hypothetical conditions in some grimey warehouse sweatbox, combined with a specific 3 minute window after setting when a hold has been chalked but before it's caked in gank, plus some bloody yoga-like flexibility and teetering on some random textured skin-scraping shelf. You can have too much of a good thing, try adding some actual holds FFS.
  • People missing off UKB - You know it's in a bad state when people actually start replying seriously to Mr ScrapeScroat's threads the poor buggers. Bring back Dense, Dave, Cofe, Scouse, Jasper, Sloper and several others, I miss their banter and discussions. I'd even tolerate the return of Slackbot as long as he didn't actually post anything.
  • People who don't go trad climbing - you're all disgraces. Do you think I want to be scraping lichen and moss off with my teeth, just because you're so lazy and cowardly that you'd rather be polishing up the Catwalk or burying Trackside under chalk ALL THE SODDING TIME instead of getting any variety and breadth in your climbing. I've been in away in Scotland for years and you slackers have let everything slide into the over-eroded vs neglected-and-filthy dichotomy. Rubbish.
  • Speed ""climbing"" - the biggest piece of turd in the history of colossal pieces of turd. It's scarcely worth my contempt - but it gets it anyway.


So there you go. Objective science. You read it here first.


Source: The state of climbing 2019.

robertostallioni

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#903 Re:  fiendblog
November 09, 2019, 07:09:32 pm
Enjoyed that. I miss the good ol' UKB days too  :'(

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#904 Re:  fiendblog
November 09, 2019, 07:11:14 pm
It’s not even half past seven and there’s already two of you having some sort of withdrawal symptoms.

Mr E S Capegoat

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#905 Re:  fiendblog
November 09, 2019, 07:34:33 pm
Power Klubb and it’s ripple effect eventually drove them all to insanity. Plus the good old days never existed really. Apart from when Boux  8c was on. He was quite good.

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#906 Re:  fiendblog
November 09, 2019, 09:54:09 pm
Power Klubb and it’s ripple effect eventually drove them all to insanity. Plus the good old days never existed really. Apart from when Boux  8c was on. He was quite good.

But you never posted in the non existent good old days :p

Good rant Fiend. For a minute when I saw all those positives I thought you'd popped a couple of E's... until I scrolled down :D

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#907 Re:  fiendblog
November 09, 2019, 09:56:08 pm
Preach, Fiend.

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#908 fiendblogOutliers
December 07, 2019, 07:00:02 pm
Outliers



Here's a video with strictly NO big numbers, no epic first ascents, no tales of struggle and victory, no scintillating exposition about the philosophy of the bouldering journey, and of course no drone footage no close-ups no slow-mo no choppy edits no coffee-making and no driving to the crag.

Just 39 off-piste Snowdonia classic boulder problems from 6A to 7A in 32 minutes, set to a soundtrack of uplifting jungle, serious techno, and bassy ambience.

Here's the deal: The "Outlying Crags" section (i.e. away from Llanberis / Ogwen) in the new fantastic North Wales Bouldering bible has grown 20-fold in the last decade or so. So whilst you could be queuing up to get run over after falling off The sodding Edge Problem, you could also explore a vast number of areas from the reasonably well known to the fully off-piste. And that's exactly what I did, and I had a bloody great time, and I wanted to show it off to other people. There's a few more things I wanted to fit in but ran out of weather, and thus maybe there will be a follow-up at some distant point. One thing I learnt was that the quality and variety in North Wales Bouldering is truly great, even if the conditions aren't quite as convenient as Albarracin ;).

The video kinda says it all, solely by the medium of pure simple climbing footage. The only other thing to add is that I'm pretty chuffed with the (hopefully accessible) soundtrack which took quite a bit of effort to segue etc but makes it a lot more fun I think.

Since this early Autumn excitement, the weather got terrible, I got manflu and then injured my back doing weights on de-oxygenated legs after running to the gym, then all of the above cleared up and I went out on the grit recently and it was mostly terrifying but I'm pretty psyched to keep going at it during winter and early spring...


Source: Outliers

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#909 fiendblogStart as you mean to go on....
January 01, 2020, 07:00:03 pm
Start as you mean to go on....


New Year's Resolutions:

1. Regain trad confidence as follows:

> Falling practise indoors (and outdoors if suitable)
> Stamina training
> Complementary training (fitness, flexibility, calf raises)
> Don't get sucked into too much sport climbing
> Make use of sport climbing for falling practise
> Avoid trad climbing with people who walk up my lifetime ambitions after I've backed off them
> Keep up with easier trad routes in uncomfortable styles to work my weaknesses
> Sometimes boulder / train on vaguely relevant terrain for particular trad routes
> Aim 3. below as it's a big hinderance physically and emotionally

2. Use confidence to tackle inspiring routes.

3. Focus more regularly on healing digestion.

4. Do more climbing trips away.

5. Keep flexible with conditions and venues/styles.

6. Keep up theraputic exercises, stretching etc.

7. Go to more hardcore / dnb nights.

8. Keep decluttering and selling stuff.




(Based on what's gone well and what's not gone well in the last year, posted mostly to remind myself esp. in case 7. rots my brain cells further)


Source: Start as you mean to go on....

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Operation Upgrade Yorkshire is in effect.


Sort of. Certain comedy performance art pieces in the climbing scene recently have got me thinking about bouldering grades and the possibility of nudging them towards the remotely accurate. I've been going up to West Yorkshire a bit partly because the journey time is hardly much longer than going to Peaks grit, but is much cruisier being motorway for most of it compared to trudging through Stockport or Glossop, and partly because it's quite good and varied and thankfully not Almscliff. Return trundles along the M66 or M62 have given me time to ponder on the grading and thus here are some thoughts / corrections:

Recent dabblings:

Brimham:
Arthur 6C+ (E3 6b, 6a) [attempted] - This is a weird one. 6B+/C start to a hands off rest, then very rounded and committing scrittle-grovel over the top which is very morpho but probably not that hard. Not nearly as good as it looks TBH.
Perky 6B+ - seems spot on.

Brimham Outliers:
Boris Or Bust 6C - Spot on. Not too hard but precarious and tenuous. Great feature!
Fiddlesticks 6B+ (6C) - As hard as BOB, did it just as good conditions, but was warmed up more and more confident with the landing, and it took me longer.

Gilstead:
Eldwick Direct 6B+ (6C) - Very hard reachy crank on a tiny crimp, I did this in perfect conditions and it was still a hell of a move. I suspect this is the same as the imaginary 6C next to it that doesn't have holds. Lovely little area of problems there.

Scout Hut:
Needle Of Dreams 6C - Easy climbing and a move that would be an easy flash at ground level, but at that height feels well goey. Absolute classic.
Dodger 6B+ - Nowhere near as hard as the photo of JP makes it look.
James Dean 6C (7A) [attempted] - Tried this repeatedly after warming up on NOD in perfect conditions with good skin (before trying it!). Might be a bit morpho but deffo two grades harder than NOD, I couldn't do a couple of moves let alone link them.

Earl Hitching Stone:
Bryony's Arete 7A - Spot on. Really cool problem. Suited me well as it's a gaston move with good feet, but I'm not going to go off on some arbitrary downgrade even though I did it quickly.
Rimbosity 6A (6B+) [attempted] - tried to do this as a warm-up in the most perfectly crisp conditions. Desperate. Gave up after a few attempts, as did someone who climbs Font 7C moves on hard-but-safe routes.

Shipley Glen:
Rudolph 6C -  spot on. A bit cranky to start, a bit goey in the middle, good value.


Previously on FiendTV:

Pebble Wall 6C+ - spot on.
Not My Stile 6C+ - spot on. Think I did it when it was V6 but easier than that.
Whiskey Galore 7A (soft 7A) - a bit soft but still maybe creeps in to 7A.
Deepfry 6B - spot on.
Murky Rib 6C (6B?) - I think I did it when it was V3/4 and felt okay at the grade?
Pair In A Cubicle 7A - spot on.
Pommel 6C+ - spot on.
Fat Punter's Roof 6C+ - spot on.
A Little Sparkle 7A - spot on, and amazing.
Sulky Little Boys 7A+ (morpho, hard 7A+ / 6C) - weird one this, absolutely desperate for the short who have to jump to the rugosity gaston on the arete, completely trivial for the tall who could reach it with feet in the break before the Font 6B/+ rockover to pocket. One of the hardest single moves I've ever done.
Mansons Wall 6C - spot on.
Red Baron 7A+ - correct I think?? I did it in 6 goes using the "John Dunne knee" beta and could have flashed it if I'd got my left hand higher on the first attempt. Does this mean it's suddenly 6C? I think not. Just the luck of the day and suiting me at that time.

Finally to compensate for this necessary but tedious dross / science, have some oldish photos:






Source: Operation Upgrade Yorkshire is in effect.

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#911 Re:  fiendblog
February 02, 2020, 07:48:43 pm
I found Sulky little boys really hard. Proper 7A+ for me (tall)

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#912 Re:  fiendblog
February 02, 2020, 08:13:18 pm
This looks more like Operation Confirm The Guidebook Grade Of Several Established Classics?

I suspect the top of Arthur is dirtier than it is morpho. Maybe even a mistake if Barley (it is a Barley route isn't it?) traversed all the way right to finish up the arete. I think you've undersold the start too. I have a vague memory that it's definitely harder than 6B+.

I agree Fiddlesticks should probably go up to 6C.

What's the Eldwick Direct? Not in the book.

Murky Rib is widely regarded as being piss and should be sorted out.

Personally I found Pair in a Cubicle to be an absolute gift at 7A, and one which exists purely to message the egos of people who want to do a 7A. Obviously connies dependent and there's a bit of luck involved in finding the good bits to pull on, so I don't really see this as being in need of change.

Still not been to do A Little Sparkle. Must rectify this at some point.

In what world/to what kind of gangletrope freak could Sulky Little Boys ever be 6C? Solid 7A+.

Red Baron could only be considered 6C with very gratuitous pad stacking. Feels like a soft 7A+ or 7A to me.

When will you be trying some of the problems with contentious grades?

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#913 Re:  fiendblog
February 02, 2020, 10:30:15 pm
Never. Giving up on Yorkshire bouldering as it's a bit shit.

Arthur I carefully brushed the top (it was bone dry, post NY dry spell) until it was a sparkling as rounded Brimham grovels get. If you're tall you can hold the lip sloper and stretch over to a useful ripple with your foot on the big hold. If you can't reach you have to use a higher smeary nipple that's likely to skid or push you back off the sloper. The start might be hard if you don't use the easier beta.

Eldwick Direct is the sandbag 6B+/C at Gilstead. It may have a different name but the book is over there on the shelf and I'm over on the sofa so no chance of checking.

Pair In A Cubicle I had to strip off to shirtless in mid-winter (proper winter, not this current bullshit) to get maximum belly friction. Definitive benchmark 7A grovelling/mantelling/sloper-suctioning.

I am struggling to imagine just how trivial SLB would be if you could just layback the arete a bit, casually reach the rugosity gaston with your feet in the break then smear a bit into the easy rockover, I suspect one would barely notice the whole thing, just like an awkward step in scrambling around to the top of the crag. It took me several hours to catch and hold the gaston and then 2 goes to do the finish, if I could have reached it the whole thing would have gone in a few minutes which would be quite a surprise as I'm not a 7A+ cruiser but then again if it I was a tall light cunt I obviously would be!!

P.S. the old stuff I mentioned is from 12-16 years ago and just mentioned for comparison, no interest to man nor beast really.

P.P.S. more like Operation Find Something To Write About as I've been quite crap at blogging recently.

P.P.P.S. tt I like that you specify (tall) as if I don't know that! I was getting a weird inverted vertigo looking distantly up at you at the Depot...

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#914 Re:  fiendblog
February 03, 2020, 12:12:23 am
Defo worth a return to guiseCliffe will. Some of the new stuff is great. And a little sparkle, moptop and nought Bank stuff make for a Big Day Out.

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#915 Re:  fiendblog
February 03, 2020, 08:20:33 am
I am struggling to imagine just how trivial SLB would be if you could just layback the arete a bit, casually reach the rugosity gaston with your feet in the break then smear a bit into the easy rockover, I suspect one would barely notice the whole thing, just like an awkward step in scrambling around to the top of the crag. It took me several hours to catch and hold the gaston and then 2 goes to do the finish, if I could have reached it the whole thing would have gone in a few minutes

Exactly the same thought process I went through but maybe we're forgetting how bunched it would be for the the poor inflexible lambs.  I was also left completely underwhelmed by it.

P.P.P.S. tt I like that you specify (tall) as if I don't know that! I was getting a weird inverted vertigo looking distantly up at you at the Depot...

I also liked that

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#916 Re:  fiendblog
February 03, 2020, 08:51:12 am
Nai - yeah that's why I've generously given them 6C in case any lanksters forgot to do 5 minutes stretching before getting the foot up for the rockover, which is really more like 6B.

Alex - Nought Bank etc looked absolutely filthy when I drove past the other day. But maybe it would be a good use of an 18 pad send train bellend team to descent en masse and clean it up. ALS is one of the best problems in Yorkshire when it's clean.

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#917 Re:  fiendblog
February 03, 2020, 09:00:05 am
I was also left completely underwhelmed by it.

Yeah, it's only popular because it's clean and dry all the time in a convenient location. Deeply average otherwise.

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#918 Re:  fiendblog
February 03, 2020, 10:04:57 am
Sorry are we talking about SLB or Almscliff now??

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#919 Re:  fiendblog
February 03, 2020, 10:48:01 am
Some right shit being spoken here. It makes a change to be reading it rather than writing it.
I think for SLB, I get hands on the arete, paste left toe on a dreadful smear and push into it, then have to slap round the corner into the pocket. I seem to remember that it felt utterly nails when the sun (even winter sun) was on it. But that is the curse of the Slipstones - plenty of sun to dry the rock after rain, and also plenty of sun to heat the rock up and turn the connies to shit.

It's a bit grim, but it's a well-known benchmark which people want to have done. Isn't that what most "classics" are? :shrug:

BTW, what is the "JD knee beta" on Red Baron?

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#920 Re:  fiendblog
February 03, 2020, 11:49:11 am
Some right shit being spoken here.
...
Quote
I think for SLB, I get hands on the arete, paste left toe on a dreadful smear and push into it, then have to slap round the corner into the pocket.
...exactly.  :lol: :lol: :lol: Christ what shambolic beta, no wonder you couldn't downgrade it. You do know there is a bivvy ledge for your left foot around the corner right?? It's hoiking your dangling ganglelegs onto that that ups it to 6C. Unless you're tomtom the secret alsation hipped yoga ninja in which case it's back to 6B+.

Whilst I'm here...

Quote
When will you be trying some of the problems with contentious grades?
Says the man who conducted the send train down to Burbage of all places. I know there was a secret ulterior motive to lank off all your mates but even so it's hardly the Gilstead / Scout Hut / Little Brimham of the Peaks  :P

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#921 Re:  fiendblog
February 03, 2020, 11:54:03 am
You're a one-man downgrading army, Fiend. All these problems must be 6C, max. How do I know? You've done them!  :P

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#922 Re:  fiendblog
February 03, 2020, 12:17:15 pm
Nah SLB is probably soft 7B for the short  :devangel:

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#923 Re:  fiendblog
February 03, 2020, 12:40:52 pm
Seriously tho, next time you're there in cold connies, try SLB with your left foot on the diagonal edge around the corner. You might need to do some anal stretching to warm up for getting your foot high but I'm sure dunnychambers would oblige.

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#924 Re:  fiendblog
February 03, 2020, 01:27:06 pm

Alex - Nought Bank etc looked absolutely filthy when I drove past the other day. But maybe it would be a good use of an 18 pad send train bellend team to descent en masse and clean it up. ALS is one of the best problems in Yorkshire when it's clean.

 :shrug:

It always looks gloomy from the road but there was plenty enough dry even at new year. It's busier than ever. Must be at least one or two visits a month. Luckily it's a big enough area to accommodate that. I've always found ALS clean, and the moptop
. Silly little boys was clean and dry in Jan as well. An 18 pad send train bellend team wouldn't go amiss on Toboggan though. Maybe it should be added to the station network.

 

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