[Fiend]

Really interesting stuff, especially since you're a pretty beastly climber. Thanks for sharing.

[Oldmanmatt]

It's happened to me on the rock, on the Mountain and deep underwater (and you run out of gas pretty quick when you panic underwater).

Fear is a pretty logical response. What is amazing is that any of us manage to suppress it so well, so often...

Secondly, people with responsible jobs, tend to be people who take responsibility seriously and probably have difficulty switching that "caring" off.

I do.

Intense work, coupled with traveling, especially when two or more different jobs are strung together in one trip, often leave me waking up confused about where I am and unable to relax easily.

[Stu Littlefair]

Fascinating to hear that other people get this too. I agree Matt, it's more of a mystery how we manage to block this out most of the time, as it's a perfectly rational response to being high up (or deep down) with so many single points of failure it's not funny.

[metal arms]

Really good post thanks.

It's made me feel a bit better about my last 'moment' halfway up Boulder Ruckle where I needed Mrs Arms to get me out of trouble, (Stop laughing, it could have happened to anyone.  It doesn't make me less of a man).

So it seems even really good climbers have bad days, maybe there is hope for me!

[Nibile]

I have had them surfing solo before; just an overwhelming feeling that all of a sudden all the unlikely odds of something going wrong were stacking up heavily against me.

been there, done that!

[Falling Down]

Stu,

Great post.  Reading again it sounds like you may be suffering from the occaisional Anxiety/Panic attack, especially if it's stress/tiredness related.  Cortisol levels high, dopamine and seratonin low.... triggers the fight/flight response and is pretty overwhelming and downright unpleasant.

[TobyD]

Fascinating to hear that other people get this too. I agree Matt, it's more of a mystery how we manage to block this out most of the time, as it's a perfectly rational response to being high up (or deep down) with so many single points of failure it's not funny.

I agree Stu, and am really interested in this ability to cope with fear and danger through a rational / non-rational response (and have been writing an article about it as it happens). My method of dealing with my considerable natural aversion to falling off on the lead, and being high up in general, has always revolved around rational process as much as i can, as I've always felt that the self deception route, although effective in the short term leads to distressing situations (materially and psychologically).
Ultimately though, is this lurking fear at the heart of why committing climbing and adventure in general are so satisfying and fulfilling? It seems to tally well with the concept of percieved risk out of all proportion with the tanglble reward (deep play) - the occasional mega wibble is possibly the price that most of us pay for the 90% of the time we enjoy it?

[comPiler]

For Bennett
3 October 2012, 1:00 pm

I'll bet you've noticed. I've not written anything here. Admit it, you've missed me. The thing is there's only so many tall tales I can spin out of a yarn of "got up, went to work, went training, ate cornflakes". In recent months my life has bored even me, so I figured I'd spare you the same fate. I wasn't even going to write this, but Bennett wanted to see the pictures.

Eventually the training has to be for something - and it was for this.

That's White Zombie in Baltzola there folks. The first 8c to be 'onsighted'. 78 horizontal moves of pure juggy pleasure. Tell me that's not worth a few hours of endurance training a night? Jules and I were both mega-psyched to have a redpointing holiday, so we preselected our routes. I chose the Zombie, naturellement, whilst Jules picked a nice 8a right in the bowels of the cave. And when I say the bowels of the cave, you know I'm serious. Baltzola is a proper cave. If it's cloudy you need a head torch for the routes in the back. It's dark, steep and full of goat shit. Parisella's devotees - book your tickets today.

Turns out we chose badly - Jules' route had a massive ledge fall off it, removing a rest and replacing it with two hard moves. This bumped the difficulty up a notch. My route had two flaws. Flaw one was that the local climbers were debating if it was 8b+ - a problem they neatly solved by sika'ing over a natural pocket on the crux! Ergo, my route was also a bit harder. Flaw two was more serious - from a cave full of dark shady roof climbs, I chose the only one with a crux in full sun. Muppet.

Still, we both battled valiantly on and suffered through the hot and sticky conditions until the very last day of the trip. With no ticks to show for our week, we were a bit nervous and got to the crag pre-dawn to maximise the number of goes we had before catching our flight. Good call. Whilst I killed the Zombie in the dawn light, Jules had literally minutes to spare, ticking her route on her 6th go up of the day. Hurray for us!

Anyway - all that dull pre-amble is an excuse to post the pictures below. Suffice it to say that Baltzola is amazing and if you like steep climbing and goats (and don't mind the odd bit of sika) you should go there tomorrow.

More pictures here.











Source: The Spherical Cow

[Doylo]

Great effort!

[r-man]

Cor, that place looks incredible!

[Nibile]

Effort beast.
I don't think I've done 78 moves in all past week's training.

[comPiler]

Generic blog post title
13 October 2012, 12:40 pm

I really, really wanted this to be one of those bragging blog posts. You know the type. I'd have started out with lashings of faux-modesty - talked about how my project is nothing special in absolute terms, but its a personal progression for me, etc. Then I'd have a short description of the moves on the project. I'd make it sound really hard, so you knew just how good I was. And then I'd spin my yarn. Add some tension - the "will he, won't he" stuff. Finally, the blog post would finish with my glorious success, no doubt in the face of massively over-hyped difficulties, like a head cold, or bad conditions.

You'll have to wait for that post, but I promise you now that it's coming, because yesterday I fell off the last move of Evolution at Raven Tor. Evolution! When Jerry was working the route, legend holds he told the thronging crowds "there's only three people who can do that move - me, myself and I". Evolution! Home of the tiniest holds on Raven Tor, the crag of tiny tiny holds. And I fell off the goddam last move. Admittedly, Rupert did this about 80 times, but I'm a lot angrier than Rupert, so I'm sure I'll get it soon.

Unfortunately I have to go away for a while. I'm in Manchester airport, waiting for a flight to Chile, where I'll spend a few nights looking for weather outside our solar system, then I'll fly back and crush the shit out of Evolution*. God I love my life.

*please stay dry, please stay dry, please stay dry

Location:

Source: The Spherical Cow

[Doylo]

Hope it stays dry for ya!

[SA Chris]

Yeah fuck weather outside our solar system worry about the watcher in Yorkshire. May te weather gods bestow you with a few days of cool mint conditions when you get back

[TobyD]

Good post Stu, I enjoyed that. It sounds a little like some of Andy Kirkpatrick's writing, (which I mean as a compliment).

Yeah fuck weather outside our solar system ... cool mint conditions when you get back

Amen, especially if that coincides with my right foot accepting a rock shoe again.

[robertostallioni]

Generic blog post title
13 October 2012, 12:40 pm
 I'll spend a few nights looking for weather outside our solar system, then I'll fly back and crush the shit out of Evolution*. God I love my life.

Source: The Spherical Cow

Read all about it, Read all about it.

FUTURE FORECASTING STAR-GAZER THANKS GOD FOR EVOLUTION

[tomtom]

Astrophysicist claims he can crush the shit out of Evolution!

I'm grassing you up to Dawkins....

[comPiler]

The unbearable dullness of failing
11 November 2012, 5:05 pm

If the last blog post was a triumphant roar, this is a never-ending scream of agony. It's all gone horribly wrong.

Since my return from Chile I've had five sessions on Evolution, three in the best conditions I've ever had on the route. When I left it felt like a sure thing. Now, every session on it makes it feel further and further away. The problem is the first crux move - an awkward, painful rockover off a high right foot and a dreadful razors edge for the left hand. Even back in September I could do this move in isolation every go. On my last day before going away I climbed through this move from the ground five times in one day. Since my return I have got through it once. Even pulling straight on at the move I can only do it about one in three goes.

What has gone wrong? I don't feel weaker on the holds. If anything I'm stronger than before. But some block - physical or mental - has developed. The move is the first hard move from the floor, so each attempt goes womble, womble, slump. Womble, womble slump. Redpointing on the route now feels like banging my head against a brick wall. Luckily, I've got a pretty solid head from years of sieging - and I'm pretty sure the wall will break first.

Right now I'm trying everything I can to break down the block. I'm stretching out my hips and shoulders, trying different foot positions, getting myself angry on the move. Something will work eventually and I'll get up on the headwall once more. I can still do the route. But it's not the dead cert it once was and success relies on a triptych of good weather, the right training and a bit of luck. Which will make it all the sweeter when it comes...

Source: The Spherical Cow

[Doylo]

We've all been there... Just gotta keep going!

[willackers]

I know exactly how you feel.

It will be the best feeling in the world when it all comes together!, stay strong!!

[Nibile]

Stick at it, keep the fucking faith.
Oh, and pull harder!

[Jaspersharpe]

Yeah it's the most frustrating thing when a move suddenly gets harder for no apparent reason. 

Good luck Stu.

[Stu Littlefair]

Cheers Guys!

[comPiler]

The comeback kid
27 September 2013, 3:17 pm

Where'd he go? Where'd who go?

This blog disappeared because so did my climbing. I think you know the score by now - my finger broke - taking with it my dignity, my will to live and my sense of perspective. Not necessarily in that order.

However, since my finger has started to improve so has my general mood, and my appetite for blogging. I was going to write a big moany blog post about my injury, and how it was all Ben Moon's fault, but I thought you should all read this instead.

Actually being injured was sort of a blessing. Let's play a game where we divide myself into two people. We'll call them 'Ego' and 'The tiny part of me remaining', or 'Bob' - because it's shorter. Ego hated being injured. He kept reading about other people crushing hard routes, or getting stuck into epic seiges and Ego was just as childishly pissed about this as you might imagine. Meanwhile, Bob was having a whale of a time: climbing 5.9s in the desert sun in California, using massive jugs with two fingers in Riglos and remembering how good easy trad climbing is.

[tr][td][/td][/tr][tr][td]Bob having a good old time in Riglos[/td][/tr]

[/table]It's been great going tradding again, and it's massively re-inforced my respect for heros like Bransby and McHaffie who are good at it. I have a head made of jelly, which doesn't help. However I am also old and cunning, and this has got me up some classics that I've wanted to do for a long time. For example - check out the gear I found on Ninth Life below - a setup that makes it better protected than the 7b to the right...

[tr][td][/td][/tr][tr][td]Upside down pecker (with nose moulded with Sugru) and some tied together nut keys. Bomber![/td][/tr]

[/table]However, now the finger is getting better and it's time to put fun behind me for a little while and get back to being savage. I'm so excited! My level is truly shocking, but improving fast. In the space of a few weeks I've gone from failing on 8a's to being as strong as Alex Barrows (i.e failing on 8a+'s). The best bit is getting to try really hard again. It sounds stupid but I've missed being pumped so much.

I don't know how to end this blog post, so I'm just going to stop. Hello again.



Source: The Spherical Cow

[Nibile]

Good to have you both back, Ego and Bob.
I didn't know about the injury, so, sorry to know and glad to know it's passing.
Keep blogging.
Oh, and you should have called me, I'd have reassured that during your injury I wasn't crushing absolutely anything!