[SA Chris]

now that I'm writing I remembered that he had applied to Rip Curl for a sponsorship... he could barely hang ten.

non-existent reputation that exists only in their own mind

[Nibile]

precisely.

[comPiler]

INVOLUTION
17 March 2012, 8:57 pm

I haven't done much after getting back home.

I went one day bouldering, refusing for once to go to the roof. I went to try an old testpiece from my friend Luca, a compression roof that I go back to every few years, after forgetting that it's too wide for my span. Well, not really. My problem is that I'm too short for a crucial toehook. Not really again. My problem is that I am not strong enough to do it with the sequence that I have to use. I try to use the official sequence but can't, so each time I think "Well it's hard but I can give it another go" and each time I come back home thinking "I'll never do it". We will see. On the plus side, I managed to do the moves of the original traverse, that is without toehooking. I know that unless you are a moron you can't ban toehooks (or heelhooks...), but I originally conceived the problem as a lip trip, then resolved to the toehooks because I couldn't do it otherwise.

I found that with some squeezing and cheating (over the head heelhooks and lame tricks like that) it will go. I only need to find a spotter because on my own I could not committ.

Then I wanted to rest. Well, I couldn't.

I am still very excited by deadlifting, but don't want to play this card at the wrong moment. I can still climb for a few more weeks, despite temps in the 20's already by daytime, so I want to wait for the really hot temps to make a big change and start going to the gym.

I haven't lifted but I have pulled. I've had a couple of very good sessions on my wall, with one system only session that left me really worked, especially my biceps. Note to self: it's not smart to spend 3/4 of a three hours session on underclings, "Hubble" is NOT on the ticklist (for the moment).

I found the pinches particularly hard, maybe for the friction, but finally reached an old goal of mine, wich I haven't particularly trained for, to be honest, but that finally came: deadhanging the small pockets on the Beastmaker, back2. My ring fingers have sustained many injuries in the years, and probably the respective lengths of my back2 aren't perfect for making them strong, but spending a few minutes to find a correct placement, I managed to do 3 hangs with 6 kg on!!!

Success!!! I was feeling tired after the warmup on the wall that day, so after a couple of problems I sacked it and went under the BM, putting in this very rewarding session, doing three sets on each hold type with my weightvest on. I also did 25" on the small pockets front2 half crimped, still with the vest.

Now I am very tired, and I think I have to be smart and take it a bit easier next week.

On a side note, I found out that it's very important to keep records of the training, and also to make videos. In one system session, I did some lock offs, the same exercise I've done so many times, but this time it felt strangely hard and precarious. It took me another session to perform it with satisfaction, but still with some serious effort. Later one day, I watched one of my training videos, about that very same exercise, and I found out that I was using the same starting holds, but I was reaching different holds, that were more than 20 cm further apart. That's why if felt hard!!! Because it was!!!

Lesson: before cry and despair take some time and reflect. And always, always keep records of the training.

All right.

Finally, coming to the post's title.

I am undergoing an involution. One day, it occurred to me that climbing is getting more and more deeply personal for me. It's getting so intimate that somehow my climbing attitude has taken a distance from normal climbing. I realized that often I don't care much about getting a problem done, I care about doing something that I thought I couldn't do, or that seemed that way. I think this is why I am so addicted to deadhanging. It's very simple, and it's easy to set goals and to fight for them. It's less complicated than driving to a boulder for sure!!!

On rock also, I understood that I am addicted to doing something that I want to do, REGARDLESS of climbing a problem. If I am attracted by a move, the move is the goal, and not the boulder it's attached to. I can do the move, and drop the problem, and it's perfectly fine for me. It's hard to explain it, this is what made me want to blog today, but in my mind this thought was much clearer.

I don't know when this involution started, but I'm feeling it. For example, I should be very excited by reclimbing the traverse without the toehooks, because that was my goal years ago: well, I am excited, but not as much as to make me want to drive there at any moment. The other day I did all the moves at the end of the session, and this gave me joy. This was the goal, and not specifically the problem. The goal was doing moves that I could not do a few years ago. So now I have to transfer the specific, real goal, to another goal, the problem. Completing the problem is something to be done, something that I want to do, but more for completeness than for myself.

It's exactly what happened with the roof. Once I found myself on the last hold, my goal was reached. Climbing the direct line coming from my start. I didn't believe I could do it when I saw that line. Now I have. I haven't toped out the problem, but this is completely different from my goal. I will keep going there for sure, for completeness, and for training, but I am fine.

I noticed this involution in other aspects of my climbing. After Michele's videos about Amiata, those areas, and the roof especially, have seen many visits from strong and famous climbers. Well, the more others come, the less I want to be there. I think that they are coming only because they know that now there's a very hard problem there, Michele's 8b+. I seriously doubt that they come for different reasons: after all, in the same boulder there was already an 8a/+. Why noone came for all these years? Because 8b+ attracts more than 8a/+. As simple as that.

So I have spent the greatest part of one climbing year under that roof now, going more and more deeply into myself. I shook hands with the monster in me, and with the hero. I met the fool and the sage. I laughed and I swore there. That is one sacred place for me, it's the place of madness and cure.

I don't want to share it with someone who's there for one number on the internet.

I don't know where this path will lead me. I don't even know if in two days I'll write another entry laughing about this one.

But really, I feel that I am climbing and training more and more for just myself, and so I am very very close to freedom.

In the video, below, back2 on the small pockets, with 6 kg on. Another small, useless goal that made all the difference. For me.



Source: TOTOLORE

[miso soup]

Nibile, I started dipping into your blog around the time of the Amy Winehouse post.  Since then I've had it permanently open in a browser window and have been working my way through from the start.  I'm now up to date and it is seriously among the best writing about climbing I've ever read.  Writing about climbing in any sort of emotive, poetic way is incredibly difficult to pull off and very few people manage it in my opinion.  Bravo.

 "I am climbing and training more and more for just myself, and so I am very very close to freedom."

 

[Nibile]

From the start???!!! ...and I thouht I was mad!!! 
Serously, thank you. I really appreciate it.

[grimer]

The time when you had a knackered arm then you wanted to do Malc's One Armer then you were waiting for the Bestmaker to arrive then it arrived then you trained one arm then you knackered that one was golden. And the one about the naked shit.

[ShortRound]

I shook hands with the monster in me, and with the hero. I met the fool and the sage. I laughed and I swore there. That is one sacred place for me, it's the place of madness and cure.

Excellent writing.

[Nibile]

Thanks again guys.
Mr. Grimer, you appear to be quite good at connecting together unrelated, random facts. Cough.
Ps. Which "naked shit" though?

[grimer]

Where you were coming home busting for a shit then you got home but went for delayed gratification of the defecation to the nation.

[Nibile]

 
guilty.

[comPiler]

LEARNING
30 March 2012, 7:49 pm



In the pics, my new problem at Amiata.

I'm learning a lot as of late.

I'm learning a lot about training, and about how my body reacts to training.

But I'm learning a lot about myself, mostly. Yesterday, for example, I understood that I am a completely different climber than I thought I was, or at least I have become that in the last months? Years? I don't think so, I think I've always been this way, only I was hiding it, behind a mask from the others and behind a different attitude from myself.

I found out that I am obsessed by grades, basically.

The pleasure of moving effortlessy and gracefully on rock? Bullshit.

Being in contact with mother nature and my soul? Bullshit.

Having fun? Meeting people? Bull. Shit.

I climb for the grades.

Not really, I climb to progress and to always push my limits further, but in climbing, grades are the consequence.

I found out I've always been this way.

When I was a child, in the Summer one of my favourite pastimes was trying to traverse all around my parents' house, without falling off. Whenever I fell, I had to step a few meters back from the wall, then run towards the wall and jump from a line I had previously drawn, to catch the external windowsill of a window and resume the traverse from there.

When I grew up, I used to play basketball, because I already was so tall. Well, I thought "If I'm short I can try and jump more" and I started training in the gym. At 15 I could leg press 135 kg, and I kept training my legs for my entire career, because all I wanted was to become able to slam dunk. I never managed it, but until my ankles and knees gave up, I kept trying.

I used to ski. Getting the first chairlift at 8.00 in the morning, my desire was to draw the first lines in the pristine snow. But they had to be straight lines. I'm a very calm driver, but I was a mental skier, completely addicted to speed. After a bad crash, I came to a different view.

Shall we talk about cycling? I basically grew up on a roadbike. Going around for sure wasn't enough, I had to go to the sea, 110 kms of Tuscan hills, if you please. I was 16 the first time I did it, with just a 0,5 liters flask of water and a phone coin in case of troubles. Then I started wanting to go fast. I started training and training until I could sprint the 2 kms of straight road in front of my parents' house at the sea, and average at least 50 km/hour.

I think you start getting the idea...

I don't like to take it easy.

Then I started climbing.

After a few years, with my best friend Andrea we decided that there was no reason for us not to try the harder routes of our local crag. They weren't for Gods. Their bolts weren't golden. We put ourselves to it and we did them all, up to the magic grade.

Before, my life had been already ruined by Patrick Edlinger and his book "Grimper", which at the end featured a few charts trying to put together training feats and climbed grade. One of the tests was on a 1 cm edge. Patrick said that 28 pull ups on it, meant sport 8a on rock. The fact that he was climbing full time didn't occur to me, and I never rested until I did those damn 28 pull ups.

Then it was one armers, then lock offs: did I ever think that fully locking off for 1 minute on a 1 cm edge could be a bit useless? Never. That was the idea, the aim, and all that mattered. The fact that at that moment I was climbing 6b+ never seemed a contradiction to me.

I think you definitely got the idea. My worst fears are now reality, climbing is not the aim in itself anymore, it's just a way I push my physical - and somehow mental - limits. This saddens me a bit. All poetry is lost. The magic is lost. All that remains is the battle. I can try and make poetry out of the battle, but it seems hard to do...

This is why I am so intrigued by trivial (no offense) challenges, like fingerboarding, or campusing, or deadlifting. Oh, deadlifting. I am so eager to start it. These activities are very simple and very easy to be pushed to the limits. Training has become a goal in itself, and it's not a coincidence that in the last weeks I put so much effort not only in the physical part of training, but also in the mental part. Standing under the Beastmaker, trying to feel the hold before touching it. Or sitting under the board with my weightvest, eyes closed, visualizing my body gliding between holds that in the previous set I was barely able to link together without the vest on. I love this shit.

I have been trying for a lot of time to understand my feelings towards my ex-project. I was very puzzled because I clearly felt no interest in it anymore, after getting a few times to the last holds but not topping it out. Why didn't I care about completing the problem? Because, I know now, the project wasn't the aim; the aim was to try and do something light years beyond my ability. Climbing the problem should have been the consequence and the result of my real goal. I found myself in a Limbo, in a no-man's land. Getting all the hard part done, and not climbing the problem. I got stuck in between, and I still am, because I want to climb the problem, but I don't desire it as I desired it before, because I have already reached my goal, that was to perform at another level, both physically and mentally. The pure will power that I lack now, makes it very hard to keep going there again and again, also because it's still very hard for me. I lack the mental edge.

I keep going there, though. I went today, and I had fun, also because I nearly did it again despite 23°, but that's exactly the difference: I was having fun. I want to be clear: having fun is OK. But battles are not won by having fun. Personal records are not beaten by having fun.

This is also why I lose interest when I quickly do the moves on a problem and then for one reason or the other, can't put it together. I move out from my target and I get lost. I confuse the aim and the climbing and I am clueless.

I really don't know if a single word that I've written makes some sense, or if it's just another self-delusion. I really don't know. I know that I am feeling more and more free, by letting go and accepting to be a prisoner of my own self.

I don't think writing this makes me happy, but I feel that doing what I do makes me happy.

Of course not everything is just black and white as I've put it. I have fun while climbing; I enjoy getting to the top of problems; I love to take it easy and spend a day doing easy things. But then again, just before packing my stuff and heading to the car, a small thought appears in the back of my mind and tells me to go and try something hard. Because it's what I like.

I feel really lucky that I have my small board, the Beastmaker, and all the strange ideas that keep me going and struggling.

Today, for example, I went to Amiata and opened a new problem, that I called "Lore's One Armer". I'm sure you understand...



Source: TOTOLORE

[Dr T]

I understand... it all makes sense (unfortunately  )

[Grubes]

did you manage to film Lores one armer?

[Nibile]

did you manage to film Lores one armer?

Sadly not, but I want to.

[Sasquatch]

I understand... it all makes sense (unfortunately  )

 

I still can't decide if this is a good thing or not.  The only place I differ at the moment is that my new challenge is to conquer the mental aspect and master finding that perfect balance between absolute focus and relaxation.

[comPiler]

ABOVE AND BEYOND
18 April 2012, 5:28 pm

In the pic, the new game.

As I texted today to my brother Tom, I am beyond climbing.

In the last weeks, following a totally new (for me) idea of less volume in each session, suggested by The Guru himself, I have trained or climbed nearly everyday. Sometimes with double sessions.

I also had my fire baptism with deadlifting. I am loving all the training, and despite the effort, both mental and physical that it requires, I am having a hell of fun.

My lifting session was a bit strange though, because I didn't manage to do what I preached the others beginner lifters should do: play it safe, master the technique first, technique is everything. Naturally, as I stepped in all I could think in my naive little mind was "I want to lift 100 kg". Going through the sets I adjusted my position to a stance more similar to the Romanian lifts, than to the conventional ones. Hips quite high. It felt better and I got to 110 kg first try, but then I felt the sirens chanting "Go for double bodyweight!". That is for me 130 kg, and despite feeling close, I forced myself into resisting, like Ulysses.

The following day my legs were fine, but my lower back was very very stiff.

Then, on another matter (or training tool, if you prefer), I noticed some unexpected improvement on the Beastmaker. I know that the concept of "unexpected improvement" doesn't go along well with the concept of training almost every day to obtain that improvement, but the last gains have been huge, for me.

To cut a long story short, I suddenly found myself able to hang:

- small pockets, back2, with 6 kg on;

- 45° with 6 kg on;

- one pad monos, ring finger, with 6 kg on;

- one arm dead hang (RH) the 35° and the right eye with 6 kg on;

- one arm dead hang (RH) the 45° with a slight nestle.

I think this is all.

I am very pleased about the back2 (a feat that is still unrepeated) and the ring monos (repeated) a notoriously weak link for me. Also, I noticed big gains in my left arm, being able to dead hang the 35°, and the right eye with some ease.

I've had also a couple of good, enjoyable climbing sessions on my new project, that is close to being climbed. Two years ago I could not do any of the crux moves...

Another source of great fun, has been system training.

Finally, I dedicate a lot of energy to the mental aspect of training, both when simply bouldering and system bouldering.

A few system training videos below.

Finally, I would like to really thank the new followers, and again all the madmen that dedicate part of their time to this blog.



Source: TOTOLORE

[comPiler]

TO HEAVEN AND BACK?
3 May 2012, 4:29 pm

In the pic, the reward: roast chicken and potatoes!!!

The above picture shows where I spent the morning: in heaven. Or was it hell?

Today I had no school, so despite being on my fourth day on, I went bouldering. I had the entire day to my desires, so I took the chance to go and check out a new problem, in an area I already know a bit, that could be fresher despite the boiling temps. Sitting in a small pit there's this slightly overhanging face, with underclings and a small crack. I had seen a video, I know the opener and the only repeater of this problem, and I knew that I couldn't trust either of the two. Strong and tall guys: I was calling for troubles. And I got them.

The morning was really fresh and the boulder stays in the shade all day, so I felt relaxed about this; also, the wet streak in the starting hold seemed to magically unaffect the bit of rock that you have to squeeze. I warmed up and started trying the moves - Ouch!!! So this is how real rock feels on your fingers? It's a sharp, painful motherfucker, especially with my plastic-filed fingertips. It wanted blood and it got it. Mine.

Anyway, the central moves went well, so I sat down and tried the first one: no way. Miles away. Good footholds are useless if you are not in contact with them. I found a solution under the form of an undercling that you get above your head from the sitter. I pulled on and everything clicked. I got the crack with my left hand and... I realized I was stuck. Completely stretched, I was unable to swap feet and move my left one on the salvation foothold. I tried this move again and again, but to no avail.

Then hell came.

After thinking "That's OK, I did what I could", I wanted to go and try my other project; instead, I don't know how, I found myself trying to connect every imaginable hold on that face in every possible combination, to manage that crucial move. I tried the most painful finger jams in gnarly, jagged seams that cut my fingers behind the fingernails everytime I pushed them in and twisted. Blood pouring everywhere, I seemed to have a sequence. This involved four foot movements from the same holds, and also a very hard move to get a higher undercling from which I could get the crack high enough to use the good foothold. To do this move I had to heelhook so hard on a bulge, as if it were to save the planet. This whole sequence was brutal and completely exhausted me, especially my right bicep, that was completely empty.

This whole process had taken easily two hours, and by the time I went for the redpoint, I could not do the hard move anymore. For sure it felt hard but I felt proud having managed to skip the reach problem, and the obvious increase in the difficulty only added more pleasure and joy.

When I was ready to go home, I don't know why, I thought I could try the old sequence, moving my left foot 5 cm to the left, on a worse but higher foothold. I stepped on... and I did the moves first go.

After hours of toil and blood, a simple foot adjustment had done the deed. I am a complete idiot. I managed to spend half a day putting together a very hard sequence, instead of trying all the different footholds first. Punter. Idiot.

I took a long rest, ate my cereals and joghurt, drank my supplements, and went. I knew what to do, and I did it, but when I came to the hard bit, the foot swap, first I did it but my left calf cramped and I couldn't get the good foothold, then I was too tired to get the right body tension, and had to call it quit.

So, have I been in heaven or in hell?

Both.

Obviously it was heaven, because I made quick work of a hard problem, and despite not toping it out, it's been very satisfying. Obviously again it was hell, because I basically threw success in the recesses of my mind and lost it. This is the price to pay for rejoicing in solitude.

If this morning I've been in heaven, now I'm back in hell, a hell made of daily training sessions, plastic holds, fingerboarding, stopwatch, and a lot of effort.

But if this morning I've been in hell, now I'm back in heaven, a heaven made of pure power problems, pure efforts, untouched by skin grating, or by short reach. A heaven made of simple tasks: can you one arm that hold? Can you get from there to there? Can you keep your feet on?

I like to think that this morning I've been in heaven, and now I'm back in heaven. I loved every second of my foolish struggle of today. I am proud that I found a dumb sequence, I did it, and I discovered that it was useless.

What's more satisfying than useless pleasures?

I am happy because once again I chose a problem that plays to my weaknesses, and I did my best to overcome them. I can't blame the rock. I can't blame the guys who cleaned and climbed it. I'd had done the same.

I am happy because I stuck my head out of my board, out of my Beastmaker, and I found a world in which I can do nice things.

But I am also happy because I know that on my board I've done things a lot harder than the one I saw today, and because once again I've received more than I'd put in.

I hurt now. My fingers are cut and swollen. My back is stiff and my right bicep is useless. And I didn't even top out! I'm happy. I don't need to top a problem out to be happy: I only need to know that doing what I like to do is right.

I'd have so many more things to say.

Right now I'm thinking that I deserve a few days off, and I wonder: will I make it, or will the desire to train and get stronger prevail?

It's been a great day.



Source: TOTOLORE

[rich d]

LEARNING
30 March 2012, 7:49  the pics, my new problem

Before, my life had been already ruined by Patrick Edlinger and his book "Grimper", which at the end featured a few charts trying to put together training feats and climbed grade. One of the tests was on a 1 cm edge. Patrick said that 28 pull ups on it, meant sport 8a on rock. The fact that he was climbing full time didn't occur to me, and I never rested until I did those damn 28 pull ups.





Source: TOTOLORE

So go on post up the full list of grades vs training feats, I love that shit

[comPiler]

THE ANSWER
7 May 2012, 1:15 pm



In the picture, how I snapped my right wrist a few years ago. Now I made it even with my left one. (Courtesy of Rich Hession)

Yesterday I found the answer to the question I asked myself in the last entry. I will take a week off, because yesterday I snapped my left wrist while doing routes in the gym. This is what jugs in a roof do to you. Dammit.

I think that I could have another stress fracture like I had a few years ago on my right wrist; I have limited mobility and one bone in particular - the capitate, exactly like the other time - is very painful. Also, like the other time, I probably hurt it while pulling on it while it was slightly bent. I am quite sure that it's not as bad as the other time, but still it's painful and quite useless.

I am very pissed but not as I could be.

In hindsight, for sure I have trained a whole fucking lot as of late, almost daily sessions and sometimes double daily sessions for more than one month now. For sure this plan of cutting volume and increasing - if possible! - intensity paid off. Despite being tired, I saw constant progresses on the Beastmaker and on my board. I did a few tests and I managed to hang very easily the 35° with 14 kg on. The 45° are still very tricky and perfect physical form and conditions are crucial.

I am still very happy about my performance on rock of last Thursday, lanky moves apart.

I am slightly reviewing my Summer plans. I am not sure about doing weights anymore. I am still very psyched about deadlifting, but in the only session I had I might have slighly pulled an inner muscle in my groin, and despite it being fully healed now, it stayed with me - and in my mind especially - for a while. For sure, I have to take it easy. Regarding the weights, we will see. I think I put up one kg as of late, and it seems to be lean muscle, because my caliper says my body fat percentage is the same as before.

Of course this doesn't seem to hinder me, but at the wall yesterday a few people found me bigger than they remembered, and I don't exactly like it. I'll be pleased about in when I'll drop climbing for body building and lifting, but for the moment I don't want it. So I want to be careful, but I'll also have to deal with the usual Summer temps. Last Summer I didn't have my board, so maybe this Summer I'll be able to keep climbing instead of doing weights. Still, a weekly lifting session is almost certain, maybe it could be a nice Saturday morning substitute for boiling rocks.

Anyway, this is all on the charts for the moment. Let's see how things go wrist wise, then we'll adjust.

Heal heal heal. Crush crush crush.



Source: TOTOLORE

[comPiler]

WHY?
10 May 2012, 12:03 pm

As I sat down on the pad and started untying my climbing shoes, I heard a strange noise. It resembled a crying. Puzzled and almost scared, because I knew I was alone there, I focused on where it seemed to come from.

It was coming from the rock, and it was a crying, in fact.

"Why? the problem asked me between sighs, whining.

"Why what?" I asked back in response.

"Why did you do that to me?"

"Why did I do you what?" I asked again, shocked.

"Why did you treat me that badly. Why did you crush me into atoms?" then it burst into tears again. "Aren't you supposed to climb gracefully, moving on the rock as a dancer?" it went on, after a few seconds.

"Well, yes, I guess so..." I answered, sincerely.

"So why, why didn't you do just that. Why did you crush me?"

I paused, trying to find an answer to this seemingly impossible question.

"WHY?" it yelled, losing composure.

And then I found the answer.

"Why? - I said - Because I fucking can."



Source: TOTOLORE

[ShortRound]

"Why? - I said - Because I fucking can."

Ha! Ace.

 

[comPiler]

THURSDAYS
19 May 2012, 8:22 pm



I don't feel like writing anything today, but I want to be here, I want to be in touch. So here are a few pics I took some time ago. Nothing special but important moments.



Source: TOTOLORE

[Nibile]

LEARNING
30 March 2012, 7:49  the pics, my new problem

Before, my life had been already ruined by Patrick Edlinger and his book "Grimper", which at the end featured a few charts trying to put together training feats and climbed grade. One of the tests was on a 1 cm edge. Patrick said that 28 pull ups on it, meant sport 8a on rock. The fact that he was climbing full time didn't occur to me, and I never rested until I did those damn 28 pull ups.





Source: TOTOLORE

So go on post up the full list of grades vs training feats, I love that shit

Sorry Rich, saw your post just today.
Sadly can't find the book anymore, will try to get hold of a copy from a friend of mine. Pure gold from the 80's.

[comPiler]

BECAUSE I WANT
26 May 2012, 11:49 am



In the images, a pretty small hold and a pretty big number.

When you read those numbers while driving to the boulders, many doubts surface, and you try to rationalize, to look for pros and cons.

You're going to try and climb a project, that you could not do in better conditions one week ago, when you also had the added benefit of a spotter to make you feel safer on a couple of tricky moves.

You also woke up at six in the morning, you drove one hour to school, you taught your classes for six straight hours, then you drove two hours to the boulders. At the end of the day the kilometers will add up to exactly 298.

Is it worth? No.

Wouldn't it be better to go home, have some rest, some tea and cookies and then put in a good board session? Yes.

So why going?

Obviously, because I want. Because it's the wrong thing to do, and because it's a mental task. Because I want to rejoice in a completely useless task.

And moreover, because I want to climb my project.

The French philosopher Blaise Pascal, used to say that one must not approach faith in a rational way. In his opinion, faith was not exactly a gift, it could be also a conquest: he said that in order to become faithful, one must act like a faithful person in every moment of life, and this behaviour "vous abetira", "will make you like beasts".

Pascal wasn't meaning the beastly ability to crush small holds to atoms, he meant that by the mindless repetition one can achieve something that by the reason he can not. It's like turning into robots.

I am neither a Christian nor a believer, but I have faith. I have faith in myself, for example, and in few others. But mainly in myself. And I want to act like a beast, without thinking and rationalizing: it's boiling, the project is hard, I'll drive three hours, I am on my own. Fuck all, I'm going.

If I get on the car, if I drive, if I get there and if I do my best, without thinking, it could also be that somehow I find myself on the final holds.

Sometimes things just happen. We have the responsibility of being there right when they happen.

This is a strange spring I'm living: full of highs and lows, full of emotions.

So my friends, keep the fucking faith, and find the fucking faith in behaving as beasts do.



Source: TOTOLORE

[a dense loner]

Every day lore, every day