UKBouldering.com

gooDADvice (Read 240026 times)

fatdoc

Offline
  • *****
  • forum hero
  • Posts: 4093
  • Karma: +100/-8
  • old and fearful
    • http://www.pincheswall.co.uk
#25 Re: gooDADvice
January 03, 2010, 06:32:43 pm
I have seen myself put the wee un in the car and drive 5-10 miles to get her to sleep.

I have previously been found walking the streets with a screaming child in a pram at 3am.  Luckily the old pram had a couple of cup holders, so at least I got a beer for the trouble.

that rings a bell...

Sloper

Offline
  • *****
  • forum hero
  • fat and weak but with good footwork.
  • Posts: 5199
  • Karma: +130/-78
#26 Re: gooDADvice
January 03, 2010, 07:04:26 pm
Gina Ford? Isn't she the woman with no kids, no medical, nursing or midwifery training and no real experience of looking after brats?  If so I'd rather use common sense and ask my cat.

My advice would be,

Follow your instincts and be flexible, babies routines don't really work out with hard and fast plans.

Feeding, breast is best and weaning with breast milk and rice worked well; after that make your own food the prepared stuff is fucking expensive and not very good.

Unless your child is deaf do not follow this bollocks fad of 'signing' all it does is retard the development of their speech, if you talk to them properly from day one and let them look at your face and see the movements etc they'll be fine. 

New father's hormones are just as skittish (well not quite) as new mothers so be prepared for up and down days and for their crying to really get to you, don't worry about that that's what it's evolved to do, produce stress hormones and get a response. 

The other really top tip is make sure that when her mother is up you get out for a blokes session down the boozer and doss on a mates floor after a kebab.

nik at work

Offline
  • *****
  • forum hero
  • Posts: 3586
  • Karma: +312/-2
#27 Re: gooDADvice
January 03, 2010, 07:47:18 pm
For the love of god please don't use baby-speak.
We have a friend, a teacher of all things, who talks to her baby like... well like it's a baby I suppose.

Stupid stunted sentences full of made up words.
Examples:
"nap-nap" = nappy
"bot-bot" = bottom
"bic-bic" = biscuit
"Want na-na?" (with excessive AQI) = "Would you like a banana?"
etc etc etc...

If you want your child to speak properly speak to it properly.

(agree with Sloper about the signing thing, it's no more than fad-following trendy wankology)
 

Sloper

Offline
  • *****
  • forum hero
  • fat and weak but with good footwork.
  • Posts: 5199
  • Karma: +130/-78
#28 Re: gooDADvice
January 03, 2010, 07:57:30 pm
The baby speak thing is just so fucking annoying but at least it's semi rational and better than not talking to them, the signing thing is just fukwit on a stick, what next crystal therapy for teething, reiki potty training sessions.

The other thing I'd say is don't use a dummy, they'll find their thumbs soon enough and that's a perfect nipple replacement with the added bonus of, it doesn't get lost, you won't forget it, they can't chuck it on the floor, it's fairly clean and so on.

For books I'd also advise ignoring the age limits, most proles aren't capable of reading a child's book at 8 so I'd suggest from two days old

The Gruffalo and all of the Julia Donaldson and Axel Sheffler books, all the Hairy McClairy books and of course the complete Beatrix Potter, Good Night Moon is also superb for developing their eyesight and focus.

Avoid any tosh that doesn't encourage good diction, grammar and syntax; if they get it right from day 2 they'll never look back.  I recommend reading to a new born for at least 6 x 10 minute sessions a day.

Percy B

Offline
  • *****
  • forum hero
  • Posts: 1292
  • Karma: +95/-2
    • www.climbingworks.com
#29 Re: gooDADvice
January 03, 2010, 08:20:15 pm
Unless your child is deaf do not follow this bollocks fad of 'signing' all it does is retard the development of their speech, if you talk to them properly from day one and let them look at your face and see the movements etc they'll be fine. 

There is absolutely no evidence that baby signing retards development of speech. This is the kind of bollocks spouted by anxious grandparents and/or people who have no experience of it and just think its "trendy wankology". I've been to Sing and Sign classes with our little'un from the age of about 9 months old and the benefits have been huge. It's meant that our 12 month old could communicate with us without having to cry incessantly to tell us the most basic things (I'm hungry, thirsty, sleepy, cold, hot, I want more, etc, etc.). She is now 18 months olds and already has a very well developed vocabulary so I find it very unlikely learning to sign has done anything other than helping her to learn to speak even quicker than normal.

And it has taught me that doing things I was massively sceptical and un-interested in can actually be really good fun. The last thing I ever thought I would be doing on a Wedsnesday morning would be spending 45 minutes in a room with a load of milfs singing nursery rhymes, but I actually really enjoyed it, and found that it was a really nice way of spending some time doing something fun that the sprog loves.

Anyway, if nothing else this thread does show that there is no standard way to bring up kids - they're all different, as are the parents.

Percy B

Offline
  • *****
  • forum hero
  • Posts: 1292
  • Karma: +95/-2
    • www.climbingworks.com
#30 Re: gooDADvice
January 03, 2010, 08:23:39 pm
....oh, and obviously don't forget the golden rule. Never, ever turn down the chance to spend time in a room with a load of yummy mummys under the premise of learning some baby signs ;)
It is eminently more appealing than spending time listening to sloper talking clearly and making me look a his face.

Sloper

Offline
  • *****
  • forum hero
  • fat and weak but with good footwork.
  • Posts: 5199
  • Karma: +130/-78
#31 Re: gooDADvice
January 03, 2010, 08:32:51 pm
Percy, your point about the danger of drawing comparisons is absolutely spot on, all kids and all parents are different; however I've met a large number of parents and children who do the signing bollocks and all their kids are massively quiet in absolute terms and all retarded in relative terms (I can't remember seeing Annie for a while so I don't count her in that group).

If signing is a part of communication with a large amount of verbal stimulus and encouragement for the child to speak and with you and Mrs Bish listening then it probably doesn't do any harm; and I'm sure this is what you've done.  Not everyone however does this.

Personally I have a very limited range of experience of being a father and wouldn't hold myself out as any expert but I see the siging thing as a rite on new age twat way of fucking up children's education, a bit like the fashion for thinking they'll just naturally understand the rules of spelling and grammar and we know where that led (I think your school was different though  ;))

Rules are for the obeyance of fools and the guideance of wise men, sadly too many people see things that can play a valid part in the mix of raising a child and use it exclusively to the detriment of more valid approaches.

The question with regard to sign language is, do you use it (other than when driving  :wank: :wave: etc) no, you don't so why expect your child to?

anyway back on a more postive note, we're potty training Hugo at the moment and due to a friend giving him a Thomas the Tank Engine a while back leading to a Thomas obsession, we have Thomas the Tank engine pants.  Obviously you don't want to wee on them so, well early days but it's going well.

Sloper

Offline
  • *****
  • forum hero
  • fat and weak but with good footwork.
  • Posts: 5199
  • Karma: +130/-78
#32 Re: gooDADvice
January 03, 2010, 08:33:51 pm
....oh, and obviously don't forget the golden rule. Never, ever turn down the chance to spend time in a room with a load of yummy mummys under the premise of learning some baby signs ;)
It is eminently more appealing than spending time listening to sloper talking clearly and making me look a his face.

Think of a sign, any sign

DaveC

Offline
  • ****
  • junky
  • Posts: 786
  • Karma: +26/-1
  • Old skool...with emphasis on the "old".
#33 Re: gooDADvice
January 03, 2010, 08:45:28 pm
It is eminently more appealing than spending time listening to sloper talking clearly and making me look a his face.

 :lol:

Funniest thing posted on here all year... :P

Sloper

Offline
  • *****
  • forum hero
  • fat and weak but with good footwork.
  • Posts: 5199
  • Karma: +130/-78
#34 Re: gooDADvice
January 03, 2010, 08:49:16 pm
Yeah all 2.66 days of it.


Jim

Offline
  • *****
  • Trusted Users
  • forum hero
  • Mostly Injured
  • Posts: 8629
  • Karma: +234/-18
  • Pregnant Horse
    • Bouldering POI's for tomtom
#35 Re: gooDADvice
January 03, 2010, 08:53:29 pm
some good points, my 2pence worth:
I'm not sure what all this routine stuff is about, people seem to like banging on about it, we all have a rough routine that we subconsciously follow, although we don't all have a bath at exactly half 6 and have our dinner at exactly 5 and go to bed at 7 on the dot etc... (if you do your a bit weird or just need some variety in your life) I don't understand why people have their kids doing this, I've seen some parents go into near panic attacks because its 3 minutes past 7 and their child isn't in bed. Maybe we've just got a very good child but we don't plan on raising Archie any different, they fit in with our life not the other way round, obviously we have breakfast, dinner and tea like everyone and sometimes a afternoon nap and a bath most night and go to bed everynight, but there are no set times when this happens. It makes everything so much more flexable.
Also the 2 year old stays up till around 9/10ish and she lets us know when she wants to go to bed, I know people will be shocked by this as they like to have some time to themselves but the winning combination of actually spending more time with your kids and being able to have a lie in is dynamite.and then she normally gets into bed with us and has an extra hour.

Last point, as much as i tried to avoid being a 'cool' parent with one of these 'cool' 3 wheel all terrain buggies, we eventually had to give in and get a Phil and teds one as it converts into a double buggy now we have 2. anyway, its shear genius design and its mega. I wish we had got one from the start instead of a pramette that converts from a pram to a pushchair but does neither brilliantly.
We got one of these:

also got it 2nd hand off fleabay for £140 instead of the £400 for new, slight cosmetic damage but excellent working order.
eBay is your best friend as a new parent

robertostallioni

Offline
  • *****
  • forum hero
  • Posts: 2285
  • Karma: +197/-2
#36 Re: gooDADvice
January 03, 2010, 08:56:06 pm
thats next to fuck all.

Sloper

Offline
  • *****
  • forum hero
  • fat and weak but with good footwork.
  • Posts: 5199
  • Karma: +130/-78
#37 Re: gooDADvice
January 03, 2010, 08:59:10 pm
Totally agree about giving two fingers to the rigid and rabid routine shite, news years eve we had friends over and their daughter is a friend of Hugo's and they ran around in the other room until they were tired (about 9 ish) and then went to bed.  We try and keep Hugo to a loose routine with bed about 7 but then again tonight he's still up and refusing to go to sleep, although things sound promising now, time to decant the burgundy.....

Sloper

Offline
  • *****
  • forum hero
  • fat and weak but with good footwork.
  • Posts: 5199
  • Karma: +130/-78
#38 Re: gooDADvice
January 03, 2010, 09:00:29 pm
Ohh for lots of cheap stuff join the NCT and beat the proles into their nearly new sales. 

http://www.nctpregnancyandbabycare.com/home

Percy B

Offline
  • *****
  • forum hero
  • Posts: 1292
  • Karma: +95/-2
    • www.climbingworks.com
#39 Re: gooDADvice
January 03, 2010, 09:25:43 pm
This thread is conjuring some terrifying imagery.
First I had Joe Picalli clutching a baby firmly to his chest and striding out into the wilderness singing Nirvana songs - I wouldn't fancy meeting this combo coming the other way on a dark night.
Now I have Sloper potty training young Hugo whilst wearing matching sets of Thomas the Tank Engine undercrackers.
My mind's eye seems to have entered a very strange place......

Houdini

Offline
  • *****
  • forum hero
  • Posts: 6497
  • Karma: +233/-38
  • Heil Mary
#40 Re: gooDADvice
January 03, 2010, 10:59:51 pm
It is eminently more appealing than spending time listening to sloper talking clearly and making me look a his face.

 :lol:

Funniest thing posted on here all year... :P


You're insane.

... be prepared for up and down days and for their crying to really get to you, don't worry about that that's

It doesn't bother me, I can tune out anything.

grumpycrumpy

Offline
  • ****
  • junky
  • Posts: 902
  • Karma: +34/-2
  • metrosexual redneck
#41 Re: gooDADvice
January 04, 2010, 06:21:24 am
Sadly at some point children do need to get set into some kind of routine , it really does help when they start school .... Both Esmée and Malachi  are absolute sodding nightmares if they don't get at least ten hours of decent kip , hence they're both in bed by 8.30 of a week night ..... And congratulations Chris on't new arrival   :great:

Big Jim

Offline
  • *
  • newbie
  • Posts: 18
  • Karma: +0/-0
#42 Re: gooDADvice
January 04, 2010, 01:56:59 pm
Best advice I ever got was to remember that everything is Just A Phase.

Getting sod all sleep? - It's Just A Phase, and will pass.
Sleeping 12 hours straight through? - Don't get too hopeful, it's Just A Phase, and don't be too disappointed when you're being screamed at a 3am again.

Stick with it!

dave

  • Guest
#43 Re: gooDADvice
January 04, 2010, 02:13:16 pm
Best advice I ever got was to remember that everything is Just A Phase.

a-men to that brother.

General good tips:

white noise can be a real knockout punch for a tired baby. for about the first 6 months we used this extensively (hairdrier, untuned radio etc) when he was difficult to settle for bed, or when he got over-tired then grumpy. We had this little crappy windup radio so you could wind it up and it run itself down after maybe 10 minutes, by whihc time he'd dropped off - great at night cos it meads you can get your head down without either having to stay up or wake up to turn it off. it reminds them of the background noise of the womb so is comforting. They natually lose succepability to it about 6 months, by which time the bedtime routine will be established so you won't need it anyway.

I think some vague loose routine is a good idea. afterall kids like familiarity, and it gives you something to work to and keeps you sane. I know my julie really appreciated (well, still does, but especially so in the early days) the few hours between his bedtime at 7 and when we knock off. means you've always got some time together to yourselves to sit down, cook your tea, sort things out and unwind etc. I think she would have gone (more) mental without this.

solids: after 6 months the subject of weaning rears its head. we went for the baby-lead "fuck pruees" approach. seems to be working a treat. check it the fuck out.

Sloper

Offline
  • *****
  • forum hero
  • fat and weak but with good footwork.
  • Posts: 5199
  • Karma: +130/-78
#44 Re: gooDADvice
January 04, 2010, 06:53:47 pm
One thing I'd say is that the child rearing publishing industry is, if you ask me, 90% wank and bullshit, 9% common sense and 1% insight.  If you agree with the other 1% it might be considered value for money but I don't.

I would however second the idea of loose routine being the way forward, i.e. mummy comes in from work, she plays / reads, then it's dinner bath night then milk, stories and sleep.  The exact timing isn't as important as the sequence.

The other advice I'd give is don't listen to the competitive parenting league wankers, most of the time they're talking shite and bullshitting.  A mate's wife was saying their second was sleeping through from 5 weeks, when I saw him in the pub he confirmed that the child was lucky to sleep through both halves of a game of football.

Walking at 6 months, reading at a year, toilet trained by 18 months etc, it's all a load of lies.

dave

  • Guest
#45 Re: gooDADvice
January 04, 2010, 07:16:35 pm
Ours was however genuinely sleeping through at 5 weeks........CHECKMETHEFUCKOUT.

rich d

Offline
  • *****
  • forum hero
  • Posts: 1313
  • Karma: +80/-1
#46 Re: gooDADvice
January 04, 2010, 07:39:16 pm
Where as I was lying about both of mine sleeping through at 12 weeks to compemsate for being shit at climbing ;) to back up what's been said the order of the routine seems to be what matters not the exact timing.

Sloper

Offline
  • *****
  • forum hero
  • fat and weak but with good footwork.
  • Posts: 5199
  • Karma: +130/-78
#47 Re: gooDADvice
January 04, 2010, 07:44:03 pm
Ours was however genuinely sleeping through at 5 weeks........CHECKMETHEFUCKOUT.

Some will, I'm told but they're in a very small minority, the thing is, and I'm sure you won't disagree some parents seem to feel the need to lie about things, why?  No one thinks you're a bad parent if your 6 week old wants a feed at 3am!

Hoseyb

Offline
  • ****
  • forum abuser
  • Master of Obscurites
  • Posts: 545
  • Karma: +44/-0
    • www.hoseyb.org.uk
#48 Re: gooDADvice
January 04, 2010, 07:56:06 pm
Feel a bit weird consistantly agreeing with sloper, but have generally found during these first 14 months that:

Gina Ford mainly exists to make my missus feel inferior

Rather than Logan (the baby) needing to be ready to move on to the next thing (sleeping through etc) its Sam (the missus)

Every experience is different and every parent seems gagging to pass on their experience as gospel.

I'm doing a talk at Llamff vaguely around this subject..
its currently titled "The Daddy Club- How to have an epic and still be back for bathtime"

I can gaurantee it will free of any usefull advice...

fatdoc

Offline
  • *****
  • forum hero
  • Posts: 4093
  • Karma: +100/-8
  • old and fearful
    • http://www.pincheswall.co.uk
#49 Re: gooDADvice
January 04, 2010, 09:11:40 pm
shit the bed...

for the second time in my life...

Slopes is like sooo way on the money.

god damn that feels so rite, and yet soo wrong.


 

SimplePortal 2.3.7 © 2008-2024, SimplePortal