[Sloper]

OK so Mrs Sloper is off to the in laws.

Point one. They're in the same house as they have been for the last 20 years.
Point two. Essex has not moved.
Point three, ok so we've moved but not that far and the route remains the same, bar minor variations.
Point four. Is it necessary to start looking for the route from Debyshire to Essex by flicking through the pages starting at lands end.
Point 5, what the feck is wrong with the sat nav on my pda?

Point six if you don't hear from me she's found this thread.

Are all women fecking useless at basic navigation or have I got a special case of fluffy fukwit which way is left itis?

[DaveC]

Can somebody a bit closer pop round and haul Sloper down to the Hallamshire for repairs!

[slackline]

OK so Mrs Sloper is off to the in laws.

Point one. They're in the same house as they have been for the last 20 years.
Point two. Essex has not moved.
Point three, ok so we've moved but not that far and the route remains the same, bar minor variations.
Point four. Is it necessary to start looking for the route from Debyshire to Essex by flicking through the pages starting at lands end.
Point 5, what the feck is wrong with the sat nav on my pda?

Point six if you don't hear from me she's found this thread.

Are all women fecking useless at basic navigation or have I got a special case of fluffy fukwit which way is left itis?

Yes, women tend to perform worse at spatial tasks.

Quite how you point this out to them without incurring major wrathage is beyond me 

[lagerstarfish]

Quite how you point this out to them without incurring major wrathage is beyond me 

One particularly good tactic is to sandwich the truth in between two positive and heavily emotional statements.

A good starter is "you are very beautiful and I love you"
then make the truth about spacial tasks and navigation sound not very important;
quickly move on to say how much you admire the way she manages her career and how she makes the world a much better place for everyone.
Even if she can see straight through this shallow approach, she won't say anything because she realises that you are just a man and are thus limited in your understanding of the world.

[GCW]

The Boss can't read a map because it makes her feel nauseated.
Now I have the SatNav it's less of an issue.  One thing I used to hate was when you're bombing along a major road, and she says "turn right here" with no warning.  So then you have to go from 60 to 10 mph to get the turn whilst hoping the juggernaut behind you manages to swerve in time to avoid crushing you.

And then she wonders why I get annoyed?   

[chillax]

And then theres the wonderful scope for misinterpretation between "Turn right now" (i.e. turn the opposite of left) and "Turn RIGHT NOW!" (i.e. turn immediately or you will kill us all due to your inherent masculine incompetence behind the wheel, fool). Nearly wrote the old micra off while learning to drive cos of that one. Cheers mam. 

[Falling Down]

My wife is actually alright at navigating and giving directions but I've realised that they bear no relation to roads or places. The world is a strange medieval place full of signs and portents like...

'Go along the twisty turny road, you know, the one with the Rabbits for Sale sign, until you come to a roundabout with a fallen tree and turn right until you see a pink house on the left and then turn around because you've gone too far so look for some green bins then a pub with a shoe for a sign then down and up a hill, once you see some cows on the left turn right and look for a gravel driveway'

Translated:

'Head up the A6 to Whaley Bridge, first right into the village, second left into Canal Drive third house on the right, number 23'

[Bubba]

At work when I'm going to a new drop, the best maps we get are the ones that are a combo of yours and Mrs FD's - has the basic navigation but also has the medieval detail added on.

[lagerstarfish]

Not only does my brain like to remember maps and enjoy matching the memories up to the real world, but Mrs Starfish is great at both navigating and giving instructions. She's also amazing at parking (at which I am shit)

She attributes her skills to being left handed 

[Falling Down]

Y'all should read 'The Power of Maps' by Dennis Wood. It's brilliant.

"The objectivity of modern maps of the world is so taken for granted that they serve as powerful metaphors for other sciences, on occasion even for scientific objectivity itself. The canonical history of Western cartography reinforces that assumption of objectivity. The history tells of a gradual progression from crude Medieval views of the world to depictions exhibiting contemporary standards ofprecision. In actuality, all maps incorporate assumptions and conventions of the society and the individuals who create them. Such biases seem blatantly obvious when one looks at ancient maps but usually become transparent when one examines maps from modern times. Only by being aware of the subjective omissions and distortions inherent in maps can a user make intelligent sense of the information they contain.

The putative history of cartography typically begins in earnest at the time of the Egyptian and Babylonian mapmakers. The scene quickly shifts to ancient Greek and Roman contributions, followed by an acknowledgment of those of the Arabs during the Middle Ages. Mapmaking in Medieval Europe has been long regarded as the nadir of the craft. From the 15th century forward, cartography smoothly advanced, culminating in present maps that benefit from sophisticated optics, satellite imaging and digital processing."

[Sloper]

Yes just how do you point it out to them without at the very best three days of monosyllabic responses?

Anyway. is it just me or is the inability to remember a route you've travelled dozens of times a bit of a worry?

The visual memory thing combined with the memory of er basic fucking geography and limited cartographic skills seems to be highly correlated with having a dick.

What are the odds she can't get A57, A1, A14, M11 then local roads which she knows correct?  I'd say 3 - 1.

[Bubba]

A57, A1, A14, M11

Wash your mouth out!! I'm soooo sick of driving that combo in the dark.

[Johnny Brown]

Two girls I used to know set off for Abersoch (which they visited regularly) but ran out of road. Confused, they asked a passer by if they were nearby. "No, this is Holyhead."

[Sloper]

Bubba, at least the A1 ius a dual carriageway now.

The trouble is I think Mrs Sloper just doesn't pay attention when she's a passanger and just thinks cars have an inherent homing device, consequently she just doesn't seem to learn routes.

Maybe it's a male 'hunter' vs female 'homemaker' thing, we men have to be able to go out and hunt and find out wall home with the kill, whereas women don't need to know how to do this, they just need how to embroider pictures of kittens on cushions.

Mind you I heard a funny story from a mate at a rally, he was wandering about the service area and saw a car with one of those sun strips that used tlo read 'tracky & kevin' etc, anyway this one read 'left ------ right' and was one the inside to remind the co driver.  Who was, well yes the wife of the driver.

[Joepicalli]

Maybe it's a male 'hunter' vs female 'homemaker' thing, we men have to be able to go out and hunt and find out wall home with the kill,

Fuck me Slopes life in rural Derbyshire has got considerably grimmer since I last popped from artisan bakers to Farmer's market.

[Fiend]

Unless you drive for a living, satnav is for gaylords.

[Bubba]

The trouble is I think Mrs Sloper just doesn't pay attention when she's a passanger and just thinks cars have an inherent homing device, consequently she just doesn't seem to learn routes.

Ms Bubbs has this problem - she still asks me how to get to Baslow sometime and we've both lived in Sheffield since '86.

[GCW]

Unless you drive for a living, satnav is for gaylords.

You obviously haven't driven anywhere with my wife.
Well, she's denying it at least.

[magpie]

I feel like I should come on here and defend the ladies, but, since I can't read maps without 'getting in' them, am rubbish with directions and usually get left and right mixed up, I'm not really the one to do it.  However, Mrs FD's style of directions are much better and easier to understand than stupid road names and junctions, that much is fact.

In my experience women are much worse in general at maps and suchlike, for some reason a lot of them just don't like to admit it.

[butters]

In my experience women are much worse in general at maps and suchlike, for some reason a lot of them just don't like to admit it.

Probably something to do with admitting that they are wrong to a member of the opposite sex - Sloper's missus is more likely to get to Essex without getting lost than that happening! 

[tomtom]

This thread just got me in the doghouse  for laughing out loud whilst reading it "whats that you're looking at..." it was all down hill (left then right) from then on 

[widdop]

 :bow:in defence of women navigaters, we  do long trips at sea often out of sight of land ,women usualy lay a more acurate course ,and get a better grip of the tide ,then men do.

[SA Chris]

Two girls I used to know set off for Abersoch (which they visited regularly) but ran out of road. Confused, they asked a passer by if they were nearby. "No, this is Holyhead."

I can beat that. friend was driving back from Tain on the A9 and forgot to turn off onto the A96. Realised she was going wrong at Pitlochry.

I managed to incur wrath once when my dearest was navigating and we missed a turn, and I asked her where we had gone wrong and was told she didn't know. I said "well use the map, it isn't just a lap decoration"

[Joepicalli]

My wife is actually alright at navigating and giving directions but I've realised that they bear no relation to roads or places. The world is a strange medieval place full of signs and portents like...

'Go along the twisty turny road, you know, the one with the Rabbits for Sale sign, until you come to a roundabout with a fallen tree and turn right until you see a pink house on the left and then turn around because you've gone too far so look for some green bins then a pub with a shoe for a sign then down and up a hill, once you see some cows on the left turn right and look for a gravel driveway'

Translated:

'Head up the A6 to Whaley Bridge, first right into the village, second left into Canal Drive third house on the right, number 23'

I swear to god this has just been given to me as directions by the infinitely lovely and clever GF:
"You turn right at the place the Beatles played in Sheffield" followed by a really, really, irritated look from her as my expression of blankness indicated that I was so ignorant that I didn't know where a band that split in  1970 had played in  sometime in the 1960's.

[Joepicalli]

It's not my fault you come from Liverpool and were a rocker so have no knowledge of popular culture! (GF)

[Joepicalli]

It's not my fault you come from Liverpool and were a rocker so have no knowledge of popular culture! (GF)

Bugger hijacked by my own girlfriend

[andy popp]

It's not my fault you come from Liverpool and were a rocker so have no knowledge of popular culture! (GF)

Bugger hijacked by my own girlfriend

Classic! 

[Obi-Wan is lost...]

Mrs Obi is pretty good at navigation, one of the many reasons I love her  (she lurks on here from time to time,  ), that is when she's awake of course, 

We use sat nav most of the time now, and she can even operate that. She still turns the sat nav and maps the girls way up ie. direction you are driving to the top of the map, as opposed to North upper most.

[Sloper]

My sat nav does that automatically, but then again it is a woman's voice.