For years, things were quiet on the Knight Rider front. Now it's back (Tue, 8pm, Sci-Fi), in a vanilla "reboot" - ie no "future" nonsense, just the adventures of a new berk (Michael's son) and his talking car. Of course while the show was off-air, thanks to the invention of satnav, everyone got talking cars in real life, so the 2009 incarnation of KITT has to try extra-hard to impress. It's solar-powered, it can morph into different types of car to confuse the baddies, and it's got an internet connection.I'd call the new KITT an iPhone with an exhaust pipe, except if it really was like an iPhone then instead of fighting crime, its owner would spend the entire duration of each episode endlessly droning on and on about how brilliant KITT was, and how he can't believe you haven't bought one yourself yet, and every time he passed another KITT driver, they'd feel compelled to pull over and sit there Twittering each other about the latest astounding downloadable KITT "apps", like the one that makes a shoe appear on the screen, then you tilt it and the shoe rocks around a bit and plays the Star Wars theme, and it's amazing really, the things it can do. Actually, you know what I'd watch? A series about a maniac who drives around singling out iPhone owners, slapping their stupid toys out of their hands and stamping on them. That's the first three minutes of each episode; the remaining 57 consist of an unflinching close-up of said iPhone owner's sorrowful face as they scoop all the bits of shattered iPhone off the pavement, clutch it to their bosom, and stagger down the pavement, weeping and lost and alone, unsure whether to carry the remains to the nearest A&E department or drop them in a bin and buy a new one.
That'll serve you right for having an iPhone
