[Will Hunt]

Not sure if this has been done. I have just come accross the term "Optioneer". Apparently it means looking at all the options. Like a man bitten by a zombie I feel I may soon use it myself if exposure continues. None are safe.

 

[Plattsy]

There's a few knocking about in Room101 already.

[Sloper]

Not sure if this has been done. I have just come accross the term "Optioneer". Apparently it means looking at all the options. Like a man bitten by a zombie I feel I may soon use it myself if exposure continues. None are safe.

 

For £30 per hour I can give you all the qualitative response options in a structured buy in lease out multiplatform format.

[SA Chris]

In a meeting with a customer the other day, a guy used the words "bifurcation in the road" and
"good enough is no longer good enough". I had to control giggles.

[tomtom]

In a meeting with a customer the other day, a guy used the words "bifurcation in the road" and
"good enough is no longer good enough". I had to control giggles.

Thats brilliant! You should of responded "yeah! and next year good enough is no longer good enough wont be good enough!" Twats.

I was in a meeting where a senior local political figure used the phrase 'climate change, its an elephant sandwich'. After a few people when eh? he explained - its too much to bite off in one go.. Dickwad.

[St Hubbins]

The manager in our other office is full of that shit. Making up weird words and terms.

Comes out with the same phrases all the time too:

need to fall off the fence and make a decision....
you guys are at the coal face....

and a constant use of the word - 'pragmatical'

[SA Chris]

I fucking hate that coalface shit. Insult to people who actually work coalfaces.

equivalent of this

[Sloper]

The manager in our other office is full of that shit. Making up weird words and terms.

Comes out with the same phrases all the time too:

need to fall off the fence and make a decision....
you guys are at the coal face....

and a constant use of the word - 'pragmatical'

He sounds like a fucking amateur to me.

[nik at work]

My wife used to work (in fact be managed by) a guy who ended everything with the word "piece". As in:
How is the project piece coming along?
Let's have a look at the targets piece.
Negotiating the contracts piece.
etc etc etc

I met the "team" for drinks once and I swear he said:
"It's my round piece"
If he hadn't been buying me a drink I'd have punched him, peace.

[robertostallioni]

Sounds like you wanted to give him a good pummeling in the ring.

Peace.

[nik at work]

Ah the love that dare not speak its name...

The secret desire for mano-a-mano with ones wifes twattish manager.


Errr, not so much.

[dobbin]

I once wrote a script to produce a bingo score card from the following input list :

Got all my ducks in a row, food chain, Voyage of Discovery, Line in the sand, Run it up the flagpole, Press the Flesh, Get Weaving, Slice and Dice, Head over the parapet, Lean and Mean, Black Arts, Low hanging fruit, Thinking out of the box, Stake in the ground, Straw man, Size the solution bucket, Herding cats, Meet and Greet, Go the Xtra mile, At the end of the day, Stretch the envelope, Face time, Take it offline, Run with it, Put on the back burner, Ready to rock and roll, re-invent the wheel, Tow/toe the party line, Swings and roundabouts, six of one - half a dozen of the other, horses for courses, Out of the frying pan into the fire, Grasping at Straws, rob Peter to pay Paul, Belt and Braces, This'll wash it's own face, Two sides of a square, Take a view, Climbing the greasy pole, Throw the baby out with the bathwater, Take the bull by the horns, out of scope, Fighting a losing battle, Race against time, Treading Water, When all's said and done, Storm in teacup, Not a happy bunny, Singing from the same Hymn sheet, Put an air gap between us, Heads up, Touch base, Suck it and see, Hit the ground running, Separate the wheat from the chaff, Sanity check, Can of worms, Ahead of the game, the straw that broke the camels back, We'll cross that bridge when we come to it, On the same wavelength, Don't see eye to eye, Draw the line somewhere, Throw a spanner in the works, 360 Degree Feedback, Proactive, Bone of contention, Starter for 10, In their wisdom, Under the same umbrella, Outside the sphere, Fight fire with fire, One stop shop, Water off a ducks back, Bigger fish to fry, Too many chiefs and not enough indians, Ride Pillion, Arena, Estate, campus, covering all the bases, Put it into the mix, Take a holistic view, Look at the bigger picture, In a nutshell, Evaluate the impact, Win win situation, Park that, In the scheme of things, Falls between two stools, can't square the circle

(comma separated of course). The idea being that you could take said card into a meeting with you and if you got a line you would shout bingo. I dont know anyone that ever did, but I had fun collecting the list (and writing the script)(Hey you guys!

[slackline]

You need to print out a few of these Bullshit Bingo Cards.



Wad point to someone who provides video footage of completing one and upon completion jumps up in their meeting and shouts "Bullshit!!!" 

[underground]

So dobbin, at the end of the day, you produced a bingo scorecard so that going forwards, you could value add to your interst level in meetings.

and my personal favourite and all that good stuff

 

(not you dobbin)

[Stubbs]

I found myself using the phrase 'proactive versus retrospective' in a recent interview    got offered the job though...

[tomtom]

I found myself using the phrase 'proactive versus retrospective' in a recent interview    got offered the job though...

You taking it Tim? Or better things (aside from the Cliff) on the horizon?

[Stubbs]

Trying to come to an agreement on my relocation at the moment, best case is Nottingham or Leicester, worst is Norwich, we'll see!

[cowboyhat]

This thread has cracked me up - though I have never experienced any of it.

Recently a facebook group was set up devoted to things people (usually people who work in advertising), say in edit suites. I have experienced some corkers first hand but usually everyone's favourites are time based questions:

9am, 'We have five sixty minute tapes,  can it be digitised for midday?' This question is probably asked of someone somewhere every moment of every day.

How long will it take to run off a dvd of this hour long show?

Artists are usually really good at skirting the issue;

My personal favourite where I had to cough to stiffle gawfaws was from Rachel Stevens "I don't think that shot makes enough contribution to the narrative", which meant something vanity related, can't remember if it was a muffin top or gums/teeth/horse face moment, AND the director had used the phrase word for word the previous day.

Narrative

Sorry if this constitutes an unfunny, off topic, thread hijack. I was just thinking the other day how annoying it is when people use phrases from the web when they aren't on the internet.

[SA Chris]

Anyone who mentions a "coal face" who isn't involved in the fuel mining industry.

[Bowie]

in our lovely corporate world some recent classics:
"up stream deal shaping"
"down stream deal flow"
"collabretition" (working with a partner and then competing with them in other market)

and so on. the worst thing is when its slipped into your unconscious mind, you use the phrase, and then you are hounded and abused rightly for being a wanker.

[SA Chris]

collabretition. OMFG. That beats everything.

[tomtom]

collabretition. OMFG. That beats everything.

what front bottom came up with that one?

[DaveC]

I spent 8 of my 17 years in the UK working for http://www.franklincovey.co.uk/ and heard so much of this stuff I had to move 11000 miles to try and get away from it! Unfortunately, the people I'm working for over here have a sales consultant who's likea cross between Stephen Covey and Swiss Tony....only fatter.
IN fact, go here: http://meredithfuller.com.au/wp-content/uploads/2008/10/fuller-workspaces-3-entps.pdf and go down and read the bit about Denis Hitchens ... if you really feel like vomiting over your keyboard that is! The man really is a fat c*nt with about as much idea about selling our products as...well...somebody with no idea how to sell our products!

[Will Hunt]

That is prime. I thought it was a joke at first.

[Bowie]

IN fact, go here: http://meredithfuller.com.au/wp-content/uploads/2008/10/fuller-workspaces-3-entps.pdf and go down and read the bit about Denis Hitchens ... if you really feel like vomiting over your keyboard that is! The man really is a fat c*nt with about as much idea about selling our products as...well...somebody with no idea how to sell our products!

that is pant wettingly funny. its got everything, pomposity, arrogance, stupidity. i like his quote that he had published (how much self awareness?)

I’m a smart-arse who is always right. There are many people who can’t abide me and want me to be wrong. They won’t learn; they’re win-lose thinkers. I’m not competitive, but I love the game of business.
People have never understood why someone as bright as I am works for non-profit. ‘But you could make a fortune elsewhere!’ It has never been about accumulation, power and glory for me. It’s the mental challenge. They simply don’t get it...... Denis grew up ‘just knowing’ how the world worked, and spent his time thinking about thinking.