[GCW]

Wow got this e-mail:

JACOB CRAIG AND ASSOCIATES
SOLICITOR AND ADVOCATES
UK-ENGLAND
Email: barristerjacobcraig@solicitorandadvocates.co.uk


I wish to intimate you with a request that would be of immense benefit to both of us. Being an executor of WILL, it is possible that we may be tempted to make fortune out of our client situations, when we cannot help it, or left with no better option. The issue I am presenting to you is about my client who WILL a fortune to his next-of-kin. It was most unfortunate that he and his next-of-kin died on the same day in the sharjah plane crash of Tuesday 10 February 2004. I am now faced with confusion of who to pass the fortune to.

According to the English law, the fortune is supposed to be bequeathed to the government. However, I don`t belong to that school of thought which proposes that the fortune of unlucky people be given to the government. My purpose of contacting you is to seek your assistance to act as the benefactor of the WILL, and lay claim to the legacy (12.4million pounds sterling), which this my unfortunate client bequeathed to his next-of-kin.For now, it is only known to me, as my client has great confidence in me.

The share would be 40% for you and 60% for me.All I have to do is to amend the WILL stating you as the beneficiary to the 12.4million pounds sterling. As I am yet to get your consent on this issue, I prefer not to divulge my full identity so as not to risk being debarred. The English Bar considers it a breach of the oath of the English bar Council. I need not emphasize to you that the sensitivity of this issue need not be toyed with by neglecting its confidentiality.

Due to the risk involve and also the activities of fraudsters now rampant on the internet, and until I am sure of your consent, full cooperation and genuine willingness to assist me for our mutual benefit, I would prefer that we maintain correspondence by email. At this point I want to assure you that your true consent, full cooperation and confidentiality are all that are required for us to take full advantage of this great opportunity.

This is an opportunity that people rarely have. I look forward to hearing from you soon. You can reach me also on this email address: barristerjacobcraig@solicitorandadvocates.co.uk

Yours truly,
Barr. Jacob Craig.

I'm off to write my reply.....

[Jim]

If you decide to decline, I will offer my services for 40% of 12.4 million sterling

[Johnny Brown]

Dear Jacob,

I'll take 50% and not a penny less.

[underground]

I feel like I'm being ripped off here - 30% seems a bit miserly considering the offer you got GCW! Still, should keep me in bog roll and baked beans for a while....

FROM: MR. COLLINS AGU.
lagos.

Dear Thompson,

I will like to solicit your help in a business proposition, which is by nature very confidential and a Top Secret. I know that a transaction of this magnitude will make any one worried and apprehensive but I am assuring you not to worry, as all will be well at the end of this endeavor.

I am Mr. Collins Agu, Client Service Manager of Standard Bank , Lagos Nigeria, my partners and I have decided to seek your help in transfer of some amount of money requiring maximum confidence from my bank. A foreigner, late Engr Kenneth Thompson, who was an oil merchant and contractor with the Federal Government of Nigeria until his demise along side his entire family on 31st of July 2000 in a plance crash, where all the occupants lost their lives, he was a good customer with the Standard Bank and had a balance of US$20Million which the bank now expects his next of kin to claim as beneficiary.

Consequently, we had advertised to get his relative to come forward all to no avail. Due to this development our management and the board of directors are making arrangements for the funds to be declared unclaimed funds and paid into the federal government treasury. Usually, funds of this nature end up in the greedy pockets of some politicians due to our corrupt society.

To avert this negative development my colleagues and I have decided to look for a reputable person to act as the next of kin to late Engr. Kenneth Thompson, so that the funds could be processed and released into your account, which is where you come in. We shall make arrangement with a qualified and reliable attorney that will represent you in liaising with my bank for inconveniency of you coming to my country. All legal documents to aid your claim for this fund and to prove your relationship with the deceased will be provided by us. Your help will be appreciated with 30% of the total sum (US$20,Million). Please accept my apologies, keep my confidence and disregard this letter if you do not appreciate this proposition I have offered you.

Thank you very much for your time. I wait anxiously for your response.

Yours faithfully,

Collins Agu.

From The Desk of  Mr. Collins Agu

[robertostallioni]

The Nigerians were at it back in the 40's too.

[GCW]

I feel like I'm being ripped off here - 30% seems a bit miserly considering the offer you got GCW! Still, should keep me in bog roll and baked beans for a while....

Shit, maybe I should hold out for a better cut.

[GCW]

Maybe this should be in YYFY!, but not only did I get the above offer I also got this today from HMRC.  I'm soooo lucky!!!

HM Revenue & Customs
Crownhill Court
Tailyour Road
Plymouth
PL6 5BZ
http://www.hmrc.co.uk/

 Dear Applicant,

We are pleased to notify you of the result of the HM Revenue & Customs program held on the 15TH June 2009.
You have therefore been approved for a sum payment of 168,240.00 GBP only, payable in Lloyds TSB cashiers check credited to security credited file numbers GWK/558B/5355/UAD in the United Kingdom.
Due to the security, we ask that you keep all information confidential until your claim will be processed and your money remitted to you.

 THIS IS PART OF OUR SECURITY PROTOCOLS TO AVOID UNWARRANTED ABUSE OF THIS PROGRAM BY SOME UNKNOWN PARTICIPANTS.

Complete and print the form attached and send to info@lloydstsbprize.com and allow us 3-9 business days in order to process it.
Lloyds TSB BANK
United Kingdom
Account Manager
Ms. Kelly Campbell
info@lloydstsbprize.com
0945 100 9005

Your tax file number (TFN): 8 2 1 0 8 4 4 7 9
This will enable the office to verify your claim.

Regards,
HM Revenue & Customs
Crownhill Court
Tailyour Road
Plymouth
PL6 5BZ
http://www.hmrc.co.uk/

[Jaspersharpe]

 

There's no such thing as a "Tax File Number" but if they meant "Unique Taxpayer Reference" which does exist then you'd think they might check that they are ten digits long not nine.

I've received a lot of inaccurate correspondence from HMRC but they don't tend to write quite that badly!

It never ceases to amaze me that people fall for these things. 

[mrjonathanr]

Do you not get out much then?

[St Hubbins]

Could be this guy? From www.419eater.com

[Jaspersharpe]

Do you not get out much then?

If I explain (slowly) that I'm an accountant and (as I said) deal with nonsense from HMRC on a daily basis, does the context of my post then make more sense to you? 

[GCW]

Do you not get out much then?

I'm an accountant

So mrjonathanr was right then? 

[Jaspersharpe]

Of course. This is me.......

[tomtom]

My father (now retired) helps out with the local branch a college for people who have retired... (its called the University of the third age apparently - which yes - to me does sound like some spin off from the Moonies but apparently is legit.. anyway...)
He has a long background in IT, and so advises/helps out there on such matters - and has a constant stream of people saying to him - its amazing I had this offer in the email the other day, it seems really genuine, what should I do...

 

I think the saying that sums up whether or not these scams can work or not is - if you throw enough shit at a fan, some gets through...

[dobbin]

We blocked 54,000,000 mails at our gateway last month alone. This is ~92% of the total volume of the mails that hit us. Spammers and scammers send out a quite incredible volume of email on the assumption that someone, just someone will make it worth their while. I havent seen a percentage conversion rate, but would imagine you have to be talking in the region of 0.00001%.

We also get some fairly sophisticated phishing attacks directed at us, and have a team of FTEs working to combat them when they happen - its amazing the stuff they have to do, and seemingly no matter how responsive they are, the spammers and scammers are really fast. I remember a recent incident when we were shutting down (something in the region of) ten domains an hour but every 15 minutes another 5 were popping up - so to some of teh people following phishing scams the site will already have moved, but its enough for the scammers that at least some must succeed.

Is actually all quite interesting. Glad I dont have to deal with it all the time though.

[Sloper]

Fraudsters are actually quite professional as far as crooks go, after all any idiot can rob a petrol station with a hammer but to con people out of hard cash takes skill, time and application.

[mrjonathanr]

[/quote]
If I explain (slowly) that I'm an accountant and (as I said) deal with nonsense from HMRC on a daily basis, does the context of my post then make more sense to you? 
[/quote]

  If I told you my post wasn't complete would that help a bit Jasper? I know you're an accountant: in fact I remember as far back as when you were planning to study accountancy just after moving up to Sheff. What I meant to post was that surely the gullibility of folks shouldn't amaze, there's no end to people's daftness.

[Johnny Brown]

Having read the hilarious Delete this at your peril, we were discussing who falls for these scams. Consensus was that it was mainly old bids who believe anything official looking must be official. Apparently there's some list you get put on if you reply (postal scams this is) and you'll get bombarded with crap forever.

[Somebody's Fool]

I'll have to wait until I start coining it in off the cheeseburger vans again before I splash out on the book. Sounds good though.

[Jaspersharpe]

That's fucking brilliant.

[Johnny Brown]

The blog's worth a read n'all

27th September 18.01

What a day. I got in a terrible argument at Safeways (or whatever they call it now) because one of the signs said suasages instead of sausages and they refused to change it. The manager said they were short of staff so would have to wait until tonight even though I said I was happy to look after the till or the meat counter while they did it.

Words are very important and some people just don't seem to appreciate that. I remember Frank Theplank once had a wonderful argument with a man about Frank's driving. The man said it was dangerous but Frank kept insisting that it wasn't dangerous but that it was exciting.

Unfortunately for Frank the man was able to make himself win the argument because he was the judge and Frank's not been allowed to drive since. It wouldn't have been so severe but Frank was working on the buses at the time.