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Balls to Fiend (The Football Thread) (Read 1344203 times)

cheque

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Really enjoying this World Cup and not just because I’m still off work and can watch every game.

Watching this much football in on some ways an endurance test of how long you can deal with the commentators. How the BBC is still employing Mark Lawrenson is beyond me but he does have the effect of making the other ones seem batter. Interesting that they always favour the underdog unless Brazil or Argentina (or England obviously) are playing.

I reckon France will do well. Despite all the stick they’re getting and the small margins they’ve been winning by they’ve totally controlled both their games defensively in a way that even the similarly negative Portugal and Uruguay haven’t.

Belgium-England, Uruguay-Russia and Spain-Morocco are the matches I’m most looking forward to.


tregiffian

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Lawrenson is better on the wireless. He hasn’t hit his stride yet.

cheque

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What’s he like on the radio then? He gives nothing but the impression of being sick of life and of football in particular on the telly. It’s particularly galling when the other bloke will ask him for a response and he’ll just answer with one word or a repeat of something he said minutes earlier as though he’s not being paid to entertain people. :wank:

Watching Brazil-Costa Rica now. Clive Tyldesley’s faith that Brazil (who he introduced as “having ruled the world since the 1950s”) are going to turn into the team of the Pelé era any second is kind of charming.

tomtom

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Lawro doesn’t suffer fools gladly - and that applies to his co-commentator too.

I’ve liked listening to Dion Dublin on R5 commentary.

Kilbane is good - lampard too.

Keane is like a brooding nutcase at the end of a bar. I half expect him to shout wibble and twat Ian wright with a snooker cue.

Wrighty has got better with time I think.

Glen Hoddle is a cunt. Pure and simple. His commentary is snide and cuntish- he lets down itv’s coverage.

Quote from Sherringhams book: (vai dolly)

‘When I was a 14-year-old, playing for Tottenham Schoolboys, I used to get to those first team games early so that I could watch Hoddle warm up. He was so graceful. The ball would come over and he would catch it on his back, knock it up and volley it back to where it came from. Everything he did was so classy, I couldn’t wait to watch him play. Then when I met him man to man, it was “Oh my God, what a cunt’. I can’t believe this.”

cheque

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I really can’t believe there are people who have positive opinions of Mark Lawrenson!

I agree with you on the other points though TT. I think Ally McCoist is my favourite ex-player-assistant-commentator at the moment.

Really I think the main factor is the combination of teams in the match. The later two games today (Iceland-Nigeria & Switzerland-Serbia) had quite pleasant commentary as there was no real favourite in each match and you could watch as a neutral without having to listen to someone trying to aurally shoehorn what you’re seeing into their pre-prepared narrative. The same could not be said about Clive “NEYMAR!!!” Tyldesley & Hoddle earlier in the afternoon. :wall:

Keown did contrive to say “Argentinia” at least three time during the Iceland game though. :shrug:

Brazil don’t look much better than last time and again I think we’ll need to see them properly beaten before anyone will admit that they’re not all that.

Interesting to see how well Shaquiri played against Serbia- with Stoke being relegated I suppose he’s seizing his opportunity to attract exciting club suitors. No-one really wants to end up at West Ham do they?  ;)

tomtom

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mark20

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The majority of the commentators are doing my head in, but at least Andy Townsend  :wank: isn't there. Also quite enjoy Dion Dublin on 5live, but may be biased as an (ex-) Coventry fan...
Refreshing to see a confident and aggressive England team playing a "fuck defense we'll score more than you" approach. From what I've seen none of the big teams look great, Brazil looked a bit ropey at the back in particular, and I don't think England will be scared of anyone at the moment
Also, is it time to drop Sterling? 39 appearances and 2 goals. If he scored against Panama and got his confidence up then he might have come good, but for me I think he has go and start with Rashford.

Mike Tyson

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Sterling needs dropped..... from the airplane on the way home! Get Loftus-Cheek on any day of the week.

Mixed feelings for me about this world Cup. Absolutely hating the pathetic diving, fake injuries and general cunty play (wrestling in box etc)

Lawro is indeed a prize cock, miserable as sin. Mccoist is class. Keown manageable.

England getting 10-1 on William Hill..... 😉

Will Hunt

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I don't know who it is, but I'm enjoying the particularly scathing commentary on the Iran Portugal game. Some fantastic dives. Did anybody see the hit on the Iranian which illicited an "ooooo" from the commentator? Watch the Iranian player forcing roll after roll along the floor. Brilliant.

moose

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Sterling needs dropped..... from the airplane on the way home! Get Loftus-Cheek on any day of the week.

Mixed feelings for me about this world Cup. Absolutely hating the pathetic diving, fake injuries and general cunty play (wrestling in box etc)

Lawro is indeed a prize cock, miserable as sin. Mccoist is class. Keown manageable.

England getting 10-1 on William Hill..... 😉

I thought Sterling had a decent game against Panama, missed a good chance but a goal resulted anyway, and he worked hard and pressured. 

Myself, I am really enjoying this World Cup - I like all the drama and histrionics - scrappy underdog performances and fancied teams having melt-downs.  Plus, there have been lots of fun games too: Spain vs Portugal, Argentina vs Iceland, Argentina vs Croatia, Germany vs Mexico, Serbia vs Switzerland, Poland vs Colombia, and just now, Portugal vs Iran. 

And England being 10-1 isn't that ridiculous with UK bookmakers, whose bets reflect the weight of money from the UK punters.  And 10-1 still only makes them 6th favourites, behind Spain, Brazil, Germany, Belgium, and France.  Of those teams, only Belgium have looked good in all their games, and they were against the same poor opponents that England beat.  Personally, I think Croatia and Colombia are better value bets than England but there is not much in it.  I reckon if England was a racehorse, the Timeform guide would mark their rating with a "P" and a "squiggle", meaning progressive and likely to improve but also unreliable and apt to disappoint.  Essentially, it is an  incredibly open World Cup and frequently stupid but I am hugely enjoying the ride. 

Agree about Lawro... the dream job of his listeners and he sounds like a man forced to relive the worst day of his life, again and again; like being paid to watch elite football is a Sisyphean nightmare where he every time he struggles to the end of a match, another begins.

205Chris

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The majority of the commentators are doing my head in, but at least Andy Townsend  :wank: isn't there.

Shameless excuse to post this:


winhill

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Deutschland, Deutschland unter alles, unter alles in die Weltmeisterschaft

moose

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Mannschaft: shafted.

cheque

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That Group F was mental- every team beat and lost to a different combination of opponents, like rock-paper-scissors!

nai

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This is awful, the World cup gives the opportunity to see the best teams pitted against one another and now we're denied that. With Italy and Netherlands already missing this is becoming a terrible tournament. Thankfully Argentina made it through and Brazil now look set to qualify.

GraemeA

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This is awful, the World cup gives the opportunity to see the best teams pitted against one another and now we're denied that. With Italy and Netherlands already missing this is becoming a terrible tournament. Thankfully Argentina made it through and Brazil now look set to qualify.

So why bother with the Group Stage, just use the FIFA rankings to determine the winner  ;)

Germany were shite so don't deserve to be in the next round.

cheque

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 :agree:

Do you mean the best teams of the nations that traditionally produce the best teams nai?

Nutty

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This is awful, the World cup gives the opportunity to see the best teams pitted against one another and now we're denied that.

Given the previous winners were knocked out in the group stages in 2002, 2010 and 2014, why does the same thing happening in this tournament come as a shock and cause wailing and gnashing of teeth?

cheque

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Do you mean the best teams or the nations that traditionally produce the best teams nai?

Will Hunt

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This is awful, the World cup gives the opportunity to see the best teams pitted against one another and now we're denied that.

If they're the best teams, why have they been knocked out? The best team should be able to give South Korea a drubbing, nein?

Personally, I want to see as many upsets as possible. I nearly cried when the last effort from Iran didn't go in. Imagine what would have happened if Portugal had been knocked out by Iran because of crap refereeing. They would have ripped the stadium apart and torn the ref limb from limb. Now that's television.

mark20

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https://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/football/44620166
Good graphic showing England's potential matches depending on where we finish in our group tonight. Sounds like Southgate wants to win and keep the momentum going.

powderpuff

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I think Ally McCoist is my favourite ex-player-assistant-commentator at the moment.

Totally agree.
Ally McCoist makes you realise   listening to football commentary doesn't have be a form of torture.

And how any organisation would give Glen Hoddle a job given his past comments and uninspiring commentary is beyond me.

tommytwotone

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On the commentary thing.


Can't stand:


Clive Tydlesley (did you commentate on "that night in Istanbul Clive? You never mention it..."
Lawro
Hoddle
Alan Green
Steve Claridge


I mainly follow football on the radio (which I think I now prefer over TV actually). Of the new crop for this World Cup I think Dion Dublin is OK, and while people seem to think that while Terry Butcher is a bit a ledge I really don't rate his commentary - same with Chris Sutton, though his love for Iran this tournament culminated in a great section for the last bit of the Iran v Portugal game the other night.


I've got a lot of time for Jermaine Jenas in commentator / summariser mode as well as his punditry - he's eloquent, gives real insight and can do actual wit in moderation, not constant shit "bantz", and on the Friday evening show on R5 he has a good partnership with Mark Chapman.


Really enjoy any match with Pat Nevin on duty, and Jonathan Pearce, if only because you can occasionally forget you're watching football and mistake it for Robot Wars when he goes "full shout"!




Mike Tyson

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Well that was a bit  :sick: :blink: :shit: :icon_beerchug: :2thumbsup: :clap2:

cheque

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Another World Cup where we’ve been beaten around the head with the idea that Brazil are considerably better than they actually are. They had a great defense this time but lacked invention and cohesiveness going forward and were shockingly easily dispossessed (particularly Neymar) in all their games, not just last night’s. It seemed obvious to me that if Belgium could get one or two goals then Brazil wouldn’t be able to respond and, unlike many of my confident football predictions, it came true. Belgium were lucky not to concede a penalty but could probably have kept a clean sheet if Martinez hadn’t left the substitutions so late.

I reckon England have a decent chance today but not a prayer beyond that. It’s great to see an England side have a good a tournament but I think we’re getting carried away with the idea that we can win it.

Alex Scott is my favourite in-the-studio pundit- she’s so enthusiastic and does the level of “homework” that all the pundits should :wub:

Jenas is definitely improved now he’s lost the “prefect allowed to hang out with the teachers” vibe of being scared to disagree with anyone else and he’s answering questions by rephrasing the question far less. Chapman is great with someone like him as he’s not afraid to just tell pundits when they’ve not given him a satisfactory response.  :lol:

 

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