[GCW]

I got puked on by a Fulmar whilst hideously off route and run out on the Old Man of Stoer.

luckily I was wearing Toby Archer's Buffalo jacket lol

[Monolith]

don't suppose you got any photos to back up that claim? how convenient.

As Lee's appointed press officer, those claims can of course be backed up.

[BenF]

I was soloing a route at Pex last year (one of the easy things down right of Harts Arete) and I found a small soft toy in one of the jugs at half height.  It was a beagle if I remember rightly.  I moved it to a higher pocket and left it peering out.

[SA Chris]

Google Ceti Eel.

Imagine a sea slater crawling across your face, then into your lug hole when you can do nothing about it.

Or perhaps you shouldn't  

Best not. I have to deal with these things on a regular basis.

I know a lass who used to leave playmobil figures on ledges on routes.

[magpie]

I know a lass who used to leave playmobil figures on ledges on routes.

I like her style. 

[DaveC]

Spiders! Fucking big hairy flat things that live behind flakes on the local granite and insist on running over your hand to get away.
Due to so many here being a bit squeamish about the Huntsman pics I once posted I'll leave it to your imagination as to what they are like! 

[climbingjoe1984]

was messing around at winterbourn down when a mouse fell out of the sky, or at least off the top of the cliff. Spooked me a little. Joe

[tomtom]

Not sure this really counts, but I once found a couple of blurry pictures of someones cock tucked in the edge of the 'info board' at the bottom of Almscliff..... 

[Jim]

can I have them back please

[tomtom]

can I have them back please

Sorry Jim, funnily enough I had no compunction to pick them up - so left them there... 
I would provide a description, but it didnt stick in my mind (cue double entendres...)

[mrjonathanr]

On a similar creepy crawly theme I once grabbed a big jug pocket thing on one of the routes near Devers Dur at Buoux and was immediately bitten by loads of little ants (the nasty fuckers with red heads). It was only when I'd managed to brush them all off that I noticed the line of them going horizontally across the crag and into and out of the jug. This was at about 25m up the route.

Have you not seen the squirrels which pop along and in and out of the huecos half way up J'irai cracher, TCF etc ?(I kid you not)
Was once surprised to dyno (feet off etc) for a bucket about 20m up a route at Chateauvert and find the sky go black... Instinctively hung on and then realised the jackdaw resident in the bucket hadn't wanted to share it with me and the blackness was its wings ... my head was blocking its exit as I pulled up.

[robertostallioni]

but, of course, you were very, VERY drunk

[chummer]

Was on main cliff on Saturday and came across a very nasty Shag on the belay ledge...
The fucker wouldn't move and it looked like it was tryin to puke in my face, needless to say i let it be.
  not a boulder problem and not that strange I know, i just wanted to write that i'd experienced a nasty Shag on a belay ledge. Apologies in advance

[robertostallioni]

The fucker wouldn't move and it looked like it was tryin to puke in my face

 i'd experienced a nasty Shag.

Sounds like a pretty standard one to me.

[Somebody's Fool]

Speaking of Lee, and Font, isn't it true he once climbed an 8a there, only to discover someone had left two extra moves at the bottom of it. Random.

[saintlade]

On the traverse pitch of Heart of Darkness found a mobile phone in the break just as you round the last corner  ??? Anybody misplace a white Nokia?

[fatboySlimfast]

Slightly off topic as well but i was at the far side of travellen last weekend and was just gearing up when a segulltook flight above and dumped.....all over mrs fbsf. The amount was incrdible , like a full cups worth.......i didnt laugh.........
well for a while till convulsions had me unable to breathe.

As for this dense thing, i can confirm i saw him in font but actually climbing...wheres the proof

[Fiend]

Snake in an undercling flake @ Berowra, Sydney - thought it was a bit of rope/cord left in there, but then realised it was a snake. I used a different undercling.

3-4" Baboon Spider crawled out of a slot and across my hand @ some crag in Western Cape, as I was clipping a bolt with my other hand - I managed to shriek like a girl, clip, and fling it off my hand all simultaneously, not sure how. The fucker left some spiney hairs in my hand but surprisingly it wasn't that terrifying, because after flingage it was many metres down-crag of me. Not as bad as the rain spiders @ Rocklands campsite, they had me literally shaking with fear.

I also like finding random stuff at crags: Several beanies, combs, spoons, mugs, glasses (got one wine glass and one champagne flute...), plastic toy elephant etc etc.

[Monolith]

Without wanting to bring this into general found objects, I found a 60+ pr0n magazine down a cattle grid up at Moel Famau. Can't take the Cattells anywhere. 

[Johnny Brown]

I've found jazz mag collections under The Sheriff at Woodhouse scar (not that surprising) and under China in your hands at Gardoms, which seemed like a long walk for a wank.

[SA Chris]

Maybe the prob name was significant?

[Idol eyes]

When I did Pocket problem direct, In J tree, I found...
Some Dollars, in coins.
Dorex, unopened.
One joint, Half smoked!
Nails.
All tossed in the pocket over many years....

[Bonjoy]

...and under China in your hands at Gardoms, which seemed like a long walk for a wank.

Seems a popular spot for that sort of thing. I found an old fertilizer bag under a boulder in the woods further right, full of perfectly preserved early 80s mags (big hair all over and lots of shoulder pads). I put them back where I found them if anyone has a penchant for retro jazz.

[Johnny Brown]

Could you be more precise? I've got a free afternoon today...

[dave]

at sean's roof either last summer or the summer before there were pictures from 80s niff mags torn out and stuck on the crag. seemed a strange choice of venue for punching the clown - not very salubrious, and quite public.