[magpie]

I am an idiot and have somehow managed to agree to cycle from Inverness to Glasgow in April.  I have a bike, but I don't really use it at the moment, obviously I am going to try and change that over the next few weeks.  But, I have no real idea what I should be doing or what I need for the bike, or indeed where to get what I need. 

Our schedule is roughly this:
Mon 13 April: Inverness - Carrbridge = 30 miles
Tue 14 April: Carrbridge - Newtonmore = 30 miles
Wed 15 April: Newtonmore - Calvine = 30 miles
Thu 16 April: Calvine - Kenmore = 34 miles
Fri 17 April: Kenmore - Callander = 41 miles
Sat 18 April: Callander - Glasgow = 53 miles

Questions:
How likely is it that I will die of exhaustion?  Is this a really stupid idea for a novice?
Do I need padded short things, or a padded saddle, or both?  Can I get them online or should I go to an actual bike shop where people can laugh at me properly?  Oh, and lights?  Will I need lights?  And those bag things to go over the back wheel, panniers?  Where do you buy bike stuff?
Is there anything else you think I should know?

That's all really, you lot are the only bikey type people I could think of so I thought maybe you'd be able to tell me what I should be doing or things I need to know, feel free to mock once you have offered sensible advice, I probably deserve it. 

[slackline]

Questions:
How likely is it that I will die of exhaustion?

50/50

 Is this a really stupid idea for a novice?

Everyone has to start somewhere.

Do I need padded short things, or a padded saddle, or both?

When was the last time you rode any sort of distance?  Were you saddle sore afterwards?  Paula (my wife*) hadn't ridden since she was a teenager and found the saddle on the bike she bought very uncomfortable.  See how you go on your training cycles.

 Can I get them online or should I go to an actual bike shop where people can laugh at me properly?

You can get them on-line, but as with all other clothes sizing can be an issue, best to find sizes that fit first then get them online when you need a replacement.

 Oh, and lights?  Will I need lights?

Legally only if you're going to be cycling at night (or perhaps dusk/dawn).  Probably worth getting some just in case you end up cycling at night.

 And those bag things to go over the back wheel, panniers?

Very handy for carrying your stuff in    Are you camping en route or staying in hostels?  Either way I'd recommend panniers as it gets incredibly uncomfortable cycling with a ruck-sack literally stuck to your back due to sweat perspiration glow.  You have to have a rack fitted over the back wheel, but unless you have disc brakes (or rear suspension, but I doubt you'd be doing a cycle like this on a downhill bike) they're fairly easy to fit yourself.

I've got some Ortlieb panniers that come with five year guarentees.  Just as well as the clip that attaches them to the rack has broken and some of the screws that hold it together have come off twice now, UK distributer have replaced these parts free of charge and promptly though.

 Where do you buy bike stuff?

Various places in Sheffield (Langsett Cycles, Decathlon, JE James [spit]).  Online Wiggle and Chainreactioncycles.com have been used in the past.

Is there anything else you think I should know?

Don't want to sound condescending but knowing how to use gears properly will save you a lot of struggling.  Also how to repair/change a punctured inner-tube is very useful (as well as checking the tyre for the offending cause).  A Camel Bak (or similar) will make drinking whilst cycling safer than grabbing for a bottle too.


I'm sure you'll be blinged up shortly though by others 

*I hate referring to her as my wife so shall start using her name from now on.

[Norton Sharley]

Six days is a while for anyone on a bike especially if your backside isn't used to it!    Look up Alpine Bikes in Glasgow, if they are still there, and get some good padded shorts that fit snug.  You're going to have to buy a couple of pairs or make sure you wash them every night if you want to avoid moldy lady bits  :'(.  And dont' be persuaded by them fat ass cheap saddles, they're crap.  Technically you, or someone in the bike shop, should measure your pelvic width and suggest a saddle to fit accordingly.  Feel free to provide measurements on here and we will provide further advise.    Or you could check out http://www.specialized.com/bc/microsite/bodygeometry/main.html?x=y.  You off road or on road?

[magpie]

When was the last time you rode any sort of distance?  Were you saddle sore afterwards? 

Months ago, and yes, very    And I didn't really go very far, at all, well under 30miles in fact I don't think I've ever done 30 miles.  I think I have a rubbish saddle too, which doesn't help.

  Are you camping en route or staying in hostels? 

Are we hell, we're two high-maintenance ladies, we're staying in B&Bs and hotels 

Don't want to sound condescending but knowing how to use gears properly will save you a lot of struggling.  Also how to repair/change a punctured inner-tube is very useful (as well as checking the tyre for the offending cause).  A Camel Bak (or similar) will make drinking whilst cycling safer than grabbing for a bottle too.

You don't!  And it wouldn't matter if you did, I'd rather know!  The girl I am going with can change tires and stuff, but I might try and read up on it a bit.  I have no clue about gears, I tend to just change about and see what seems easiest, I suspect that's not the best idea though, is it?

*I hate referring to her as my wife so shall start using her name from now on.

Does it make you feel old, and like a proper grown up? 

Six days is a while for anyone on a bike especially if your backside isn't used to it! 

 

Look up Alpine Bikes in Glasgow, if they are still there

Ta, will do. 

Technically you, or someone in the bike shop, should measure your pelvic width and suggest a saddle to fit accordingly.  Feel free to provide measurements on here and we will provide further advise.   

I am making a suspicious face at you... how the hell do you measure pelvic width... or don't I want to know   

You off road or on road?

I should know this shouldn't I?  I am going to guess at off, cause it's not what I imagine a road bike to be, it's a mountain bike type thing, I think.  It's white, with red bits if that helps? 

I think from what you've both said, I should go and see a man in a bike shop to sort out shorts, panniers and maybe a saddle.  That might be most sensible.  Plus, it'll give someone a good laugh during their working day when I reveal just how daft I really am when it comes to bike related stuff.

[magpie]

Manners, Magpie! 

THANK YOU BOTH!

[lagerstarfish]

I was going to say that 30-40 miles isn't too bad, but then saw that it might be off road. Eeek  't

If you lived nearer I would suggest that we alternate our visits to bike shops in order to break the staff gently in to serving incompetent muppets.

I have nothing of use to contribute other than encouragement.

Go on girl!

[magpie]

I was going to say that 30-40 miles isn't too bad, but then saw that it might be off road. Eeek 

Was the off road question about the bike or the route?  My bike does off roady stuff, I think.  The route, as far as I know, is mainly cycle tracks and roads.  It's a proper route thing, Inverness to Carlise, the number 7 sticks in my head and there is a map of it so I reckon it's a fairly well known one.  I should really know all this.  God, imagine if it is off road and really bumpy  ??? 

If you lived nearer I would suggest that we alternate our visits to bike shops in order to break the staff gently in to serving incompetent muppets.

Probably a good thing we are fairly far apart 

[bigd942]

agree with everything said, 30>50miles you should be ok, you should be able to ride 10>15mph ok if you're in general good health. Saddle sores happen to anyone (and everyone) and the biggest problem with a ride like that is getting fresh shorts/underwear every day. Not sure if you're doing the full cycling shorts deal or just Ron Hills etc, you get padded pants (http://www.wiggle.co.uk/p/Cycle/7/dhb_Earnley_Padded_Under_Shorts/5360021960/) you could wear under shorts/leggings and they'd be ok, maybe one pair washed every night and left to dry would be enough, would save a big investment.
Don't ride too far on the edge of the road, it's where you'll get a flat most likely, I normally ride where the passenger would be sitting in a car, keeps you on good clean surface most of the time. Make sure your tyres are pumped up proper and it'll make it easier also. Carry at least two spare tubes plus a puncture kit, if the tyres are worn then replace them before your trip, punctures can be fixed roadside but a bust tyre and you're going nowhere.

Other than that stick to foods you know, jelly babies go down a treat on the bike but don't drink too much of the over-caffeinated sugary drink company etc. Bring your phone charger as well, simple but a phone very handy to have.

[fatdoc]

awesome advice on here, not much to add.. apart from train hard from like.. NOW. there is nothing like time in the saddle.. forget gyms, turbos etc.. get out on the bike you will be using at every oppertunity. As the timeline is short and  you sound reasonably aerobically fit dont draw up some heinous complicated training regime.. the old saying of *just get out and ride* will see you right..

and also v v important... get some assos arse cream...

really...

it could save you... and use it every time you ride...


oh, and dont use it for moisturiser after a bikini wax 

[fatkid2000]

oh, and dont use it for moisturiser after a bikini wax 

As  FD obviously has.

[fatdoc]

oh, and dont use it for moisturiser after a bikini wax 

As  FD obviously has.

On you...
 

[slackline]

*I hate referring to her as my wife so shall start using her name from now on.

Does it make you feel old, and like a proper grown up? 

A bit, but its more that I don't really care for the conotations of ownership implied with "my wife".

[magpie]

Oh, thank you all again, all very helpful, I am taking notes.

I'm going to get padded shorts for definite, I've got a sore bum from having a half hour shot on my mum's excercise bike earlier so the real thing is probably going to be bad I am thinking 

Assos Chamois Cream will change your life. It eliminates the abrasive feeling of a sweaty chamois, but it does so without making you feel like you're slipping all over the chamois. You can bid farewell to friction between your body and your shorts, but your favorite shorts will still conform to you like a glove.

I aways knew you cycling types were kinky buggers.    I may invest though, for comfort reasons.

[webbo]

you may benefit from a lady specific saddle.my better halfs voyage in to mountain biking ended when she got a blister on the inside of her lips.

[magpie]

 ???

I wonder if I could back out of this at such a late stage...

[robertostallioni]

you may benefit from a lady specific saddle.my better halfs voyage in to mountain biking ended when she got a blister on the inside of her lips. :'(

It takes time to aquire a pair of these babies....

[magpie]

I've got additional stupid questions.   

I've been out on the bike and it wasn't that bad, the only bit of me that hurts are my shoulders, why would that be?  It feels like I am in a funny position while I am cycling, as if maybe the handle bars need to be higher.  Could that be possible or do I just need to get used to it?  Are handlebars generally adjustable?  Or could it just be my shoulders hurt from climbing at the weekend and being on the bike isn't helping, rather than the bike doing something to them?

Also, is it bad that I only seem to go between 8 and 10 miles an hour, shouldn't I be faster than that?

And finally, a female cycling friend has said she thinks padded shorts are a bad idea as they are quite uncomfortable and may exacerbate issues I am already having with... over heating, she thinks a padded seat cover would be better, or a gel one.  Will they all be standard sizes or are there a billion different types and I need to measure?

I know it's probably hard to answer daft questions without seeing the bike, and me on it to check if I am doing it all wrong but a rough idea would be good, if possible.  Thank you!

[bigd942]

when you say shoulder do you mean round the neck/traps area, is common to get strain in the back of the neck after a long ride, getting more practise in the position will get your body more used to it, I've friends that ride in an almost upright position and others that ride with almost flat backs so just sounds like your not used to being on a bike for so long. No sure which setup you have regards handlebars, is it a mountainbike or road bike etc. Depends what they are but you can move bars about a little or change the stem, depends how your cables etc are. Gloves could help, don't wear them myself but they are padded and will make it more comfortable, also help incase you fall as you tend to put your palms out to protect yourself.

Your speed will depend on the route you took and the wind, if it was dead flat with no wind the 8>10mph would be just about scraping ok, if it had a few ups and down and a bit of win then that sounds about ok, best to have fun so you'll be ok next time your out.

Shorts are about seams as much as the pad, normal clothing has seams in all the wrong places so its that which will cause you probs, cycling is a well developed sport so if padded shorts have hung around this long its for good reason, because they work. What works for your friend may not work for you, find what works for you and stick to it, padded gel seat to me would be like the BD BOD harness, yes it works but things have moved on a fair bit. Would try the shorts first, remember my first pair of bibs and it was like a £100,000,000 sofa your backside was lowered onto, were comfy indeed.

[magpie]

It wasn't a very long ride    I don't know where I mean on my shoulders really, if I sit my palm on my shoulder it hurts right about where my fingers are on my back, so probably the bit you said.  I think it's more likely climbing related made worse by my position on the bike, I can't have been on the bike today for long enough to make them hurt this bad.  Which I think is a mountian bike    There are screws around the handlebar bits so maybe I should have a poke about and see what they do?

Good call on the gloves, I did wonder if they might be an idea.  The route was quite up and down, definite gentle inclines, and fairly exposed so I suppose wind would have been an issue with regards to speed.  I just felt like I was crawling along.

I'm stuck on the shorts issue, I can totally see your point but I'm worried they will make me too warm and I think that in itself will annoy me as much as the chaffing 

I sound like a special needs cyclist don't I?    I really have no clue what I am doing. 

[marty]

Go and have a wander around Dales Cycles in Glasgow. They will have ways and means of extracting money from you.....

[bigd942]

I tend to just stand under a hot shower after I've been out and make sure my neck/shoulders get warm then move them around a little, works for me so maybe something to try.
I've never had a problem with heat in the shorts area, do get saddle sores now and again but they're just part of it, a saddle sore can be like a blister or some times just a spot, Sudocrem is normally what I use in this area. Don't mean to get pervy here or anything but body hair is the main issue, nice and neat keeps things sweet as I was once told. You do get Coolmax shorts which may help also if you feel heat will be an issue (http://www.lusso-clothing.co.uk/viewdetail.php?target=60185), your ride is in the summer so you should just be in shorts and a top, wind should keep your temp ok.

A really padded saddle will tend to rub more as your thighs will hit it more, padded shorts mean you can stick to a saddle with a narrow nose and this helps cut down the rubbing, also something to be aware of, try a spin on your friends bike, may answer your questions regards the saddle., or look the saddle up round the nose area, if its worn a fair bit then it a definate sign of rubbing.

[SA Chris]

There are screws around the handlebar bits so maybe I should have a poke about and see what they do?

Better to google on how to do it, it's quite easy once you know. Also have a look at some online setup guides to see if the bike is set up properly, but as mentioned before a lot of this is personal preference.

I go for the fingerless gloves option, with gel pads in the ulnar region as I often get numb hands riding, and with them you don't get sweaty hands. Plus you look like an 80s breakdancer, which is never a bad thing.

[magpie]

Go and have a wander around Dales Cycles in Glasgow.

Is that the one up beside where the big Tiso is?  I'll maybe go and annoy them at the weekend.

I've never had a problem with heat in the shorts area

Lucky you, you're not missing much    I'll look into your advice about different shorts and umm... how to best prevent excess rubbing, I always thought it was their legs cyclists shaved. 

With further thought, I should probably be doing more warm down stuff and stretching after I've been out, rather than just collapsing in a heap when I finish, that might help my shoulders a bit.

Better to google on how to do it, it's quite easy once you know. Also have a look at some online setup guides to see if the bike is set up properly, but as mentioned before a lot of this is personal preference.

I never even thought to Google, ta, I'll have a look and see what the pictures look like on there.

Plus you look like an 80s breakdancer, which is never a bad thing.

Sold 

Thank you all, again!! 

[Norton Sharley]

I've got additional stupid questions.    

And finally, a female cycling friend has said she thinks padded shorts are a bad idea as they are quite uncomfortable and may exacerbate issues I am already having with... over heating, she thinks a padded seat cover would be better, or a gel one.  Will they all be standard sizes or are there a billion different types and I need to measure?

imho big fat gel saddles are a bad idea and likely to increase chaffing and may be ok for protecting your bits to pop to the shops but will be more uncomfortable over a long ride.  Saddle height makes a big difference to chaffing - make sure your saddle is not too high.  Your pelvis should remain level when pedalling, each hip should not move up or down.  Go and buy some decent padded lycra shorts that fit snug rather than baggy.  Pay a bit extra to get some with a decent non absorbant pad  .  The legs shavers will no doubt have loads of fancy recommendations like this http://www.chainreactioncycles.com/Models.aspx?ModelID=31862

[webbo]

if you go faster you will find theres less chance of over heating .i find these days when my cycling is limited to once or twice a week that i get all sorts of aches and pains in my arms,shoulders and back which i'm pretty sure are related to climbing.its like any activity you got to build up slowly.
when i first started i was limited in the distance i could cycle due to the pain in my coccis,it always started to feel bruised.but several months down the line it stopped being a problem.
in time you'll have a crotch like rhino hide just what you've always wanted.