[tomtom]

Just had this email... FFS...

"A number of areas/offices on the Hull campus have acquired rugs of varying sizes and types.  Some of these rugs are causing ‘trip hazards’ to cleaning staff where the edges/corners have curled up, indeed some cleaning staff have already tripped/stumbled when entering/exiting areas due to this. 

I would therefore be grateful if you could please remove any rugs that could be causing a trip hazard, especially the ones that are ‘curling’, as soon as possible.

Thank you for your co-operation.
xxxx"

Classic. Anyone else got any better missives. I may have to remove my persian rug collection from my office now in case it cripples one of the cleaners!

[slackline]

I would therefore be grateful if you could please remove any rugs that could be causing a trip hazard, especially the ones that are ‘curling’, as soon as possible.

Thats easy, you just tell 'em your Persian rugs aren't causing a trip hazard (after making sure none of them are curling, and I believe you can get special velcro pads for holding rugs down/in place).

I was told I had to wear shoes around the office the other day in case I stubbed my toe or stood on a drawing tack and held my employers responsible!!!

I pointed out that I'm not predisposed to litigation and accept responsibility for my own action rather than trying to hold others accountable, but they insisted I wear shoes whilst walking around.  I'm going to get me some old-skool thongs (and not the mankini style) to wander round in next opportunity I get to go and purchase some.  Had thought about getting a second pair of Birkenstocks, but decided that was a bit plush for this job.

I had the same in Australia when I worked out there, although to be fair there were laboratories there and people did move between the labs sometimes with "hazardous substrances".

I should perhaps point out that I rarely wear shoes or socks when sat around inside as I've had problems with athletes foot in the past and doing so excaberates the problem.

[SteveM]

Not H&S directly, but we were issued with "Festive Arrangements Guidance Notes" just before Christmas. It's four pages long so I shan't bore you with the details but here's the highlights...

This guidance applies to all employees. XXXXXX's position is that festive events are not a celebration of any particular religious belief, but an annual opportunity to recognise employee contribution at a festive time of year for all XXXXXXX employees.

All employees based at the location, regardless of their area of work or reporting line, should be invited to the Business Centre party. Such festive celebrations are classed as a work activity and employees must conduct themselves in a responsible and professional manner. The Company’s disciplinary procedures will apply in the event an employee’s conduct or behaviour is found to be unacceptable.

If the day after a festive celebration is a normal working day, employees are expected to be in a fit state to carry out their work. Employees who attend work under the influence of alcohol or are absent from work without authority may be subject to disciplinary action.

As any festive celebration is classed as a work activity, the company has a duty of care to its employees in respect of health & safety, and venues should be checked for suitability in this respect (for example, the location of the venue with regard to public transport). For those responsible for organising a festive celebration, it is recommended that a risk assessment be carried out at the venue to ascertain whether there are any factors which may affect the health and safety of employees.

Employees may decorate their offices for the seasonal period, although the Company does not sponsor the purchase of these decorations. Decorations should be neutral and should not refer to any particular religion. In customer-facing areas or offices shared with non-XXXXXXX employees, agreement should be first sought from the client for decorations to be put up. Decorations should be put up no earlier than the 1st of December and should be taken away at the latest on the 6th of January.

I love working for people who used to be in the public sector.

[tomtom]

Decorations should be put up no earlier than the 1st of December and should be taken away at the latest on the 6th of January.

Now thats more like it. Stop the bastards putting up decorations in November! (BAH humbug!) 

Now, dont get me started on our 'ethics committee'.... 

[Jaspersharpe]

Jesus A non-religious personality from history of any gender/race/sexual persuasion fucking wept.

[tomtom]

Jesus A non-religious personality from history of any gender/race/sexual persuasion fucking wept.

Glad to see we can still use 'fucking' with impunity 

[Obi-Wan is lost...]

These people really need to check their definition of 'festive'. Type 'define:festive' to Google, taking the first definition somewhat changes that statement!

As any festive celebration is classed as a work activity....

 

[tomtom]

These people really need to check their definition of 'festive'. Type 'define:festive' to Google, taking the first definition somewhat changes that statement!

As any festive celebration is classed as a work activity....

 

Sounds like Monolith nearly had a 'festive' new year from one of the other threads 

[SA Chris]

One of my managers looked on in horror as i walked down the stairs with a mug of coffee in my hand, and then told me using the lift was safer, and that I should use it in the future. I told him lifts were for fat and lazy.

[andy_e]

I was told I had to wear shoes around the office the other day in case I stubbed my toe or stood on a drawing tack and held my employers responsible!!!

Maybe they weren't keen on your cheesy feet 

[Zods Beard]

I was told I had to wear shoes around the office the other day in case I stubbed my toe or stood on a drawing tack and held my employers responsible!!!

I got told to do this in work, when I asked why i was told it's in case there's a fire, and you haven't got your shoes on, you'd be fucked.

[slackline]

I was told I had to wear shoes around the office the other day in case I stubbed my toe or stood on a drawing tack and held my employers responsible!!!

I got told to do this in work, when I asked why i was told it's in case there's a fire, and you haven't got your shoes on, you'd be fucked.

I have far more pertinent issues regarding fires and health & safety at work to contend with.  My office is on the ground floor of the block I work in and there are locked grills on the window.  Makes it feel like a prison.  Anyway, I asked the health& safety officer when attending an obligatory "fire safety" lecture why these were in place as our office only has one door, and in the (unlikely) event of a fire blocking our exit from that door how were we to get out through the windows?

His response was "The window isn't an official safety exit, you should wait until you are rescued and the doors and partitions are safe for 20-30minutes"
!!!!  Further..."You wouldn't be covered for insurance if you broke your leg exiting through the window"!!!  For fucks sake, its on the ground floor, and even if it was on the third floor, I'd rather have two broken legs than be dead!!!

Well fuck you!!!  Stop putting a price on my life (bars supposedly there for "security"......in Fulwood!!!! I live on next to t'Manor where this migh have been reasonable).  Absolute fuckwit couldn't even acknowledge the point I was making, trotted off the same official bullshit (mind I was being somewhat awkward having had a few pints at lunch time but it is a valid point).
 

[slackline]

One of the worst things about health and safety is my wife is doing a course to become an assessor.  The embarressed smiley just doesn't do justice 

However, get this.  The pass rate for the exams she recently took is.....40%!!!!!

Not very reassuring really that the people tasked with ensuring health and safety only need to know <50% of the information required to do their job.  It gives little reassurance that these people are actually doing their job correctly and ensuring places are safe.


P.S. - Apologies for the above rant, I'd just got in from the pub 

[Nim]

Try suggesting they get the Fire Brigade out to do a Fire Safety check.  I'm sure they would have a different opinion on the locked windows.  We had a non-opening window in our office and I mentioned it could be seen as dangerous if there was a fire - result - one new window. 

[dave]

To be fair, i was a h&S rep at my last work, and the vast overwhelming majority of what the H&S at work act does for you and i in the workplace is the kind of thing we all take for granted these days and you'd really miss if it wasn't there and we'd all be shit out of luck

most horror stories that circulat about "H&S gone mad" (like "H&S says kids can't play with conkers", "H&S says I cant wear a tie at work", "H&S has banned hot drinks" etc etc) are generally nothing to do with H&S at all, and are more to do with stupid descisions taken by management level by councils/employers who're petrified by the thought of litigation, or just overzealous jobsworths.

[fatboySlimfast]

Agree Dave, I know its my work but the construction industry was shocking for its attitudes and work practices a recently as 6-8 years ago. The office plaxce stuff is normally the result of over zealous insurance companies trying to stop the company staff suing for tripping over shit, nothing to do with actual law. The h&s exec have a pr agent who almost solely deals with refuting daily mail shock exposes of dumb h&s law.

[slackline]

Despite my above comments I am inclined to agree.

But, a lot of health and safety to my mind simply boils down to common sense, but as I've typed that I've just realised the fatal flaw.....most people, it appears, are fuckwits and therefore need protecting from themselves 

[Clart]

Despite my above comments I am inclined to agree.

But, a lot of health and safety to my mind simply boils down to common sense, but as I've typed that I've just realised the fatal flaw.....most people, it appears, are fuckwits and therefore need protecting from themselves 

Or put another way: The trouble with common sense is that it isn't common.

Anyone been made to attend a manual handling course? That really is a pile of old bollocks. We had to take it in turns to lift an empty box off a desk. If you didn't bend your legs or lock out your arms in the correct manner you had to try again, utter shite. 

[SA Chris]

And when you hear horror stories of working offshore prior to Piper Alpha you would be surprised that it didn't happen sooner. R's dad has pics of him fishing off the helideck when he used to be a North Sea diver in the 70s.

[SA Chris]

Anyone been made to attend a manual handling course? That really is a pile of old bollocks. We had to take it in turns to lift an empty box off a desk. If you didn't bend your legs or lock out your arms in the correct manner you had to try again, utter shite. 

Yup. Been there and done that. It's shit. Had to do PULER and LOLER course too.

(insert joke about acronyms below).

[tomtom]

are generally nothing to do with H&S at all, and are more to do with stupid descisions taken by management level by councils/employers who're petrified by the thought of litigation, or just overzealous jobsworths.

Fair point - and didnt mean to point the finger at all H&S people - oversealous jobsworth is a very good description of the fuckwit that wrote our rug decree!

[lagerstarfish]

To be fair, some rugs that curl at the edges can be very bad indeed; neither healthy nor safe.

[tomtom]

To be fair, some rugs that curl at the edges can be very bad indeed; neither healthy nor safe.

Superb! could be risky... - you dont know where its been!

[SteveM]

Should I be asking what you've been doing to your rug to make it curl up at the corners like that?

 

[SA Chris]

To be fair, some rugs that curl at the edges can be very bad indeed; neither healthy nor safe.

Just looking at he makes my toes curl. RAF.