[dave]

if you're really pushing the boat out to score some poosay then i'm sure asda still sell Smash, and you should be able to nick some mustard sachets from any pub doing food.

in years gone by you could have just bought a Pot Mash and decant it onto a plate (preferably a paper plate).

[Will Hunt]

Fill it with water from the tap

Are you sure? Shouldn't I get it from the water butt?

Turn the hob on

Honestly? Don't I need to get an adult to help me with this?


 

[slackline]

Are you sure? Shouldn't I get it from the water butt?

Well you could go with Volvic/Evian, but it would be a bit of a waste.

Honestly? Don't I need to get an adult to help me with this?
 

By the sounds of it yes.

[magpie]

Just make the mash, add mustard (a good teaspoonful?) - I would go for the grainy stuff - and if you want maybe grate some cheese and stir that in too.  I am guessing that's about as complicated as it gets.

[butters]

Can anyone give me a detailed run down of how to do the mustard spuds?

Follow the idiot guide instructions written by slack---line but if you are adding celeriac (1/3rd celeriac to 2/3rds potato) then either make the celeriac pieces slightly larger or add them when the water comes to the boil as it takes less time to cook.

Also after you have drained the potatoes put a clean tea towel over the top of the saucepan and then put the lid back on for a couple of minutes. This will remove any excess moisture remaining and will result in better mashed potato.

Lastly mustard must be whole grain IMO - type and amount is up to you but remember you can always add more mustard but it is a bastard to take it out again! 

bluebrad

[tlr]

 

tlr is clearly a romantic, look, the smilies cuddle afterwards 

Hey, that's not cuddles afterwards, that's the start of foreplay again for the next go.

[tomtom]

Basically I'm a clumsy and unimaginative bastard in the kitchen and need something that's going to be easy, tasty and special. UKB, your mission has been set!

I'd go for a sweet potato and normal spud mash myself - easy peasy.. but I suspect you've had too much plenty of advice on the mash front by now...
But - make sure you have a damned good desert in the fridge. Some posh looking chocolate cake - because if the main dish goes tits up at least you have something to save the day.. and if the main goes well then its bonus points bonus points...

Make sure you get a nice bottle of red wine to go with it - something dark and redcurranty will go really well!

Good luck, and I'll start the UKB sweepstake with I recon you'll have her knickers off 1/2 hour after the last morsel of desert has gone 

[slackline]

Good luck, and I'll start the UKB sweepstake with I recon you'll have her knickers off 1/2 hour after the last morsel of desert has gone 

I always thought the saying was...

The way to mans heart is through his stomach

Is there something you're not telling us Will  

[tomtom]

Good luck, and I'll start the UKB sweepstake with I recon you'll have her knickers off 1/2 hour after the last morsel of desert has gone 

I always thought the saying was...

The way to mans heart is through his stomach

Is there something you're not telling us Will  

  Just realised the gender police will have me in irons for this.. what I meant was "your guests underwear" 

[robertostallioni]

NSFW

C'mon you bastard, dissolve.

Honestly Will, the lamb was enough, this really isn't necessary...can we just wash up?

Last night will always be etched on my memory, Will. How do you like your eggs for breakfast?

[Paul B]

come on FFS add a NSFW or something

[lagerstarfish]

Basically I'm a clumsy and unimaginative bastard in the bedroom and need something that's going to be easy, tasty and special. UKB, your mission has been set!

If I could wad Google Ads I would. At the bottom of the page was a sign in HUGE type that said "Why Is Your Stomach So Fat?" - to which I replied, through tears of laughter, "coz I eat so fucking much, you moron". I doubt that the ad was supposed to produce this effect, but I haven't laughed so much at something from tinterweb in ages.

No, its not really that funny I suppose.

[slackline]

So how'd the meal go Will?

Did everything come together at the table as planned and you made yourself look like a culinary genius?

[tomtom]

So how'd the meal go Will?
Did everyone come together on the table as planned and you made yourself look like a culinary sex genius?

What happened Will??

[Will Hunt]

Food was pretty good actually. The lamb was dead tasty for something that only took 15 mins to cook. Really juicy and tender 
Had a bit of mustard mash with it too. Clean plates all round which is a good seal of approval.
Will have to bust out the peppered steak in a red wine sauce with roast new potatoes with garlic and thyme next
Cheers for the tips chaps 

[fatdoc]

 

tlr is clearly a romantic, look, the smilies cuddle afterwards 

Hey, that's not cuddles afterwards, that's the start of foreplay again for the next go.

I'm sure yr missus will be delighted that you're inferring over the tinterweb that you're at it mulitiple times a night... must email her this page as a link




 

[Joepicalli]

Cheesy mustard mash is the best!

It is but it won't go with the lamb which is fatty enough with out cheese in the mix. I would suggest a rosemary mash you will have to steep some rosemary (a Lot if you are cooking tomorrow) in olive oil overnight (chop it finely then strain it just before you add it to the mash as you don't have much time). Then make the mash with half the usual amount of butter and add the rosemary infused oil to taste, English mustard goes in to finish the job.
Good luck with the meal and anything else which might follow.

[Joepicalli]

Cheesy mustard mash is the best!

It is but it won't go with the lamb which is fatty enough with out cheese in the mix. I would suggest a rosemary mash you will have to steep some rosemary (a Lot if you are cooking tomorrow) in olive oil overnight (chop it finely then strain it just before you add it to the mash as you don't have much time). Then make the mash with half the usual amount of butter and add the rosemary infused oil to taste, English mustard goes in to finish the job.
Good luck with the meal and anything else which might follow.

Just realised how late I am with the advice and good luck

[tlr]

 

tlr is clearly a romantic, look, the smilies cuddle afterwards 

Hey, that's not cuddles afterwards, that's the start of foreplay again for the next go.

I'm sure yr missus will be delighted that you're inferring over the tinterweb that you're at it mulitiple times a night... must email her this page as a link




 

It was advice, not an autobiography.

I'm far too old for those sorts of shenanigans 

[Bubba]

best lamb shank recipe you'll ever taste. i shit you not.

Cooked this tonight - used a shoulder of lamb rather than shanks but it was just lovely. I initially thought that the amount of chilli powder was a misprint but after two and a half hours of cooking it was perfect.

Served it Jaffrey's sweet yellow rice and this Indian Saag recipe using kale & spinach.

The greens were gorgeous but the sweet yellow rice, though nice was a bit of a flavour clash with the other two dishes. I'd choose something a little more savoury next time.

[dave]

best lamb shank recipe you'll ever taste. i shit you not.

Cooked this tonight - used a shoulder of lamb rather than shanks but it was just lovely. I initially thought that the amount of chilli powder was a misprint but after two and a half hours of cooking it was perfect.

nice, glad you liked it. i've done it with other non-shalk cuts too, its all gravy. to illustrate how good it is, i cooked it for my mum, who doesn't like curry or any "foreign" food, didn't tell her it was a curry and she loved it.

[Houdini]

Cheesy mustard mash is the best!

Yeah man, w/ cheese and beer and potato and beer and dripping and cheese and goose and rack-of-widgeon!