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Why Shark is fat (Read 24321 times)

andy_e

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#25 Re: Why Shark is fat
December 12, 2016, 04:05:40 pm
I bet you got horribly smashed that evening though. Perhaps that was even the incentive to get it done?

Ally Smith

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#26 Re: Why Shark is fat
December 12, 2016, 04:17:00 pm
3-9 doesn't drink, is much younger and goes to bed at 8.30 but has only climbed one grade harder than shark  :-\

Imagine how pious he could be if he tried harder!

Or climbed fasterTM :worms:

tomtom

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#27 Re: Why Shark is fat
December 12, 2016, 04:21:45 pm
I cant believe that anyone who really wants a sporting objective would shaft themselves by that.

Three Nine available only in 1D.

one direction?

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shark

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#28 Re: Why Shark is fat
December 12, 2016, 04:25:59 pm
Hi Moose

Calling me skinny was the highlight of my year.

It's only three nine calling me fat and he lives in a strange bubble where Barrows is known as Fatty Barrows. I've only put on about 5 or 6lbs since you saw me last. The direction of travel is concerning though

Will Hunt

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#29 Re: Why Shark is fat
December 12, 2016, 04:52:49 pm
Let's say that for Shark to successfully climb The Oak at his current level of ability, he has to climb at a rate of SOS metres per second (where SOS stands for Shark Oak Success). Is there a model equation that would let us work out how fast he would need to climb for any given addition of weight?

We could then work out how fast he would need to climb in order to be successful at his chosen fighting weight and just have him do that, thus rendering all this crabways traversing and weight watching irrelevant.

tomtom

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#30 Re: Why Shark is fat
December 12, 2016, 04:54:38 pm
I thought Boris Johnson and Micheel Gove promised that Brexit would mean Shark would climb the Oak.

It was on the side of that bus wasn't it?

Will Hunt

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#31 Re: Why Shark is fat
December 12, 2016, 05:05:24 pm
As the key proponent of the patented course - TomTom ClimbFaster 8-Week ProgrammeTM: be the fastest, achieve your goals - I would have thought you'd be the man for this job. Especially with your background in science.

How fast would Shark need to climb in order to climb the Oak at a weight of 18 stone?

GraemeA

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#32 Re: Why Shark is fat
December 12, 2016, 05:08:17 pm
Surely the answer is because the Shark is crap.

The better question would be why is he crap?

The answer of course being because he is the Shark.

moose

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#33 Re: Why Shark is fat
December 12, 2016, 05:25:07 pm
It's like a fable, the RPing version of "The Scorpian and the Frog". 

"Oh Shark, why did you fall off the traverse, when you looked so strong, french-blowing chalk from your sinewy hands?"

"It is not my fault; it is my nature to fail".

... and the rock wept, a trail of tears dripped from the undercut and no more climbing was possible until Spring when hope reawakened in the land.

Doylo

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#34 Re: Why Shark is fat
December 12, 2016, 06:11:46 pm
I think I'll lose interest in UKB if Shark does the Oak. And I've been posting here 13 years.

petejh

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#35 Re: Why Shark is fat
December 12, 2016, 06:16:34 pm
I thought Boris Johnson and Micheel Gove promised that Brexit would mean Shark would climb the Oak.

It was on the side of that bus wasn't it?

That wasn't a bus it was Shark's arse.

abarro81

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#36 Re: Why Shark is fat
December 12, 2016, 06:56:06 pm
It's only three nine calling me fat and he lives in a strange bubble where Barrows is known as Fatty Barrows.

Thing is, it turns out I was fat all these years (and am now again). This year I was sub 11 stone for the first time ever, for about 4 months of the year, during which time I did more hard shit faster than ever before. My new fighting weight is a full half stone lighter than I used to think it was 3 or 4 years ago - it's amazing how much lighter you can get than you think!
You just have to believe... And spend a large amount of time cold and hungry.

36chambers

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#37 Re: Why Shark is fat
December 12, 2016, 07:03:44 pm
I think I'll lose interest in UKB if Shark does the Oak. And I've been posting here 13 years.

 :-\ Shark owns UKB. Shark vs. The Oak occupies half of the content on UKB. People only really use UKB to read about Shark vs. The Oak. So it's in Shark's interest not to do The Oak.

It all makes sense now.

Three Nine

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#38 Re: Why Shark is fat
December 12, 2016, 07:25:13 pm
3-9 doesn't drink, is much younger and goes to bed at 8.30 but has only climbed one grade harder than shark  :-\

I do at least 10 of one grade before trying the next. Plus I did my route in fewer days that Shark's had years on the oak. So my bedtime and abstinence counts for something?!

tomtom

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#39 Re: Why Shark is fat
December 12, 2016, 07:41:19 pm
I thought Boris Johnson and Micheel Gove promised that Brexit would mean Shark would climb the Oak.

It was on the side of that bus wasn't it?

That wasn't a bus it was Shark's arse.

It definitely wasn't on a sinewy and withered looking bus. It was a big fat fucking fat red Brexit mother fucker bus.

cheque

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#40 Re: Why Shark is fat
December 12, 2016, 07:51:01 pm
Quote from: forthcoming Daily Mash article about sport climbing
it's amazing how much lighter you can get than you think!
You just have to believe... And spend a large amount of time cold and hungry.

webbo

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#41 Re: Why Shark is fat
December 12, 2016, 08:02:00 pm
3-9 doesn't drink, is much younger and goes to bed at 8.30 but has only climbed one grade harder than shark  :-\

I do at least 10 of one grade before trying the next. Plus I did my route in fewer days that Shark's had years on the oak. So my bedtime and abstinence counts for something?!
:wank: :wank: :wank: :wank:

Rob F

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#42 Re: Why Shark is fat
December 12, 2016, 10:25:09 pm
Rather annoyingly, theres already a movie called Simon and the Oak (low budget swedish thing) so Shark'll have to come up with a all new boss name for his -----------> 2017 training/ successful ascent of the Oak hollywood blockbuster.

Co-incidentally a guy called Lee has also written a paper on shivering for fat loss. Get as much in 10 min as many hours of running. Tops off for power...

Doylo

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#43 Re: Why Shark is fat
December 12, 2016, 10:34:23 pm
Quote from: forthcoming Daily Mash article about sport climbing
it's amazing how much lighter you can get than you think!
You just have to believe... And spend a large amount of time cold and hungry.

Yes but some of us go out with non climbers and don't want to lose our homes/boards.

cheque

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#44 Re: Why Shark is fat
December 12, 2016, 10:51:28 pm
Yes but some of us go out with non climbers and don't want to lose our homes/boards.

Yeah I do too- I was quoting Barrows but it's confusing 'cos the sarcastic thing I added doesn't show up on Tapatalk.

Doylo

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#45 Re: Why Shark is fat
December 12, 2016, 10:57:19 pm
Most 'normal' girls I've known don't want to go out with a skeleton. It makes them feel fat for one. Which is probably why 3-9 has never had a girlfriend .

kingholmesy

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#46 Re: Why Shark is fat
December 12, 2016, 11:13:21 pm
Most 'normal' girls I've known don't want to go out with a skeleton. It makes them feel fat for one. Which is probably why 3-9 has never had a girlfriend .

My Mrs often bends my ear for being too skinny (even though I'm really not by sport climber standards).  She'd much rather I had a rugby player's physique.  Me telling her that this wouldn't be conducive to climbing up random bits of rock doesn't seem to carry much, er, weight.

SEDur

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#47 Re: Why Shark is fat
December 13, 2016, 12:02:22 am
This is one of the best ukb threads i have read this year

Sent from my GT-I9195 using Tapatalk


lagerstarfish

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#48 Re: Why Shark is fat
December 13, 2016, 05:58:41 am
if you want cheering up, Shark, I'll come round and have a go on your body fat measuring device and see if I can set a new high score


tomtom

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#49 Re: Why Shark is fat
December 13, 2016, 07:02:44 am
if you want cheering up, Shark, I'll come round and have a go on your body fat measuring device and see if I can set a new high score

Are you going to use the old 'slabs of pork belly placed under the arms' trick to hustle the machine again...?

 

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