[psychomansam]

I was talking to DaveThomas90 about this the other week when I dropped something off. Been thinking about it a bit since and had a  moment on Thursday.

I'm 30. My career has massively improved. My relationship is going well. I love my house. I've got some good friends about. I'm free from religious extremism. Things have changed massively over the past few years. I feel incredibly lucky. And I'm in a strange position whereby I'm simultaneously in the best place I've ever been in life, while also have very little motivation for most things. I'm motivated for board gaming and not a lot else. I'm struggling with a mix of motivational and pragmatic issues over whether to pursue a PhD (I'm living an increasingly comfortable life, but my job isn't hugely fulfilling. Should I seek that outside of work, or should I make big sacrifices financially, career-wise, and with my spare time to pursue a non-applicable PhD? What about a part-time PhD -which the majority fail to complete?). I have increasingly little desire left to be impressive in any sporting endeavour.

But I'm also increasingly out of shape and want to do something about that. Last year's knee injury has healed up enough that I've been able to do a bit of a run a couple of times a week - one in the gym and one on local trails. A recent tendon injury has healed up enough that I've been starting to get back into the bouldering - one thing I can almost always find at least a little motivation for, even if I am x number of grades below where I was. Just got my hardtail fixed up and seem to have found a green shoot of motivation for that.

So, having planned a weekend away with friends involving climbing and mtbing, I pulled on at the Works on Thursday and felt my back go. Been on Paracetamol, codeine and diazepam since then to keep me moving about and stop the back locking up too much. Frustrating. Not nearly as frustrating as it once would have been when I was really psyched for the climbing/running/biking. But still frustrating because, well, I was going to put this in the NNFN thread but the reality is it's not just one incident; it's a curve I just seem to be behind on. When I do find some motivation to try to step up the exercise, my body punishes me for trying. Weight gain makes this more likely, and the injury causes more weight-gain. Repeat.

I'm not quite sure what the trick is here. Take up some yoga again to prevent injury? Maybe, but I think what I really need is some baseline regular exercise in a social environment - a group where motivation can be shared around and multiplied.  I was getting that from the fell running (DPFR) but haven't been able to do that for 18+months. Any thoughts? I'm also considering something new - perhaps that would help.  Or something old - I used to row. Any recommendations for once my back is letting me play again?

I'm sure I'm not the only one.

[tomtom]

Arse - thats sounds like cruel luck Sam... I try and be super careful coming back from a lay off ~ but its often not easy to hold back. Like you Bouldering is one thing where the trickle of (often perceived) incremental gains keep me interested and at it.. Back trouble usually has some rooting in how you sit/drive/posture etc.. and Yoga is something I've been really considering taking up in the last 6 months. Speaking to someone who has been doing it for 10 years (started mid 30s) down the boozer the other night, he was extolling the virtues at just keeping everything working - and cited it as being why Giggs was able to play into his 40's...

PhD's - I'd avoid a part time one... from the supervising side, the phrase 'vanity project' often comes up to describe people doing these, and as such their success rate is low. If you want to do a full time one, it can be incredibly rewarding, and liberating (mentally) but you will spend the final year working 60-70 hours a week, 7 days a week and it consuming your life. In other words, its something you've got to want to do - and see through..  I think you also need a reason to do a PhD (especially coming back to do one) and if I were interviewing you for it - good answers would be (a) because it would help me get a better job - step change my career - or change it completely (less good..) (b) because I want to become an academic and write lots of papers and become a lecturer eventually etc.. bad answers would be (c) because its something I've always fancied doing - it fills up a gap in my life I think I want to fill...

This is a really rambling, partial response to your post - but I find myself mulling over my motivations for climbing/work etc.. as I'm in the middle of a probably 5 week lay off.....

[ghisino]

phd - having done one in France,  i am not sure how it is in uk but i definitely advise against doing one just for a change. You need a strong academic drive and a certain mindset otherwise it will just be a sufferfest without any reward (it will be a sufferfest anyways!). Oh, and of course it is much better if you feel a strong connection to the specific subject you are investigating.

I did all the opposite (phd seen mainly as a chance to work abroad, no real academic drive, quite indifferent about the specific subject, among all possible hydrological research fields) and it was miserable.
It really drove me nuts and made me question all the path that led to it.

back.
Not sure what your problem is.
I have lumbar problems and a McKenzie approach worked really well, plus it gave me some self management skills.
Back and bouldering: avoid jumping off sistematically when indoors, save falls for when it really counts, if you do fall  or jump make sure you roll properly.

yoga: hate it. Tried once and made my back worse. but in the family of light exercise i had a few feldenkrais classes : found the experience fascinating, and i had a pain free and flexible spine during that period (might be a pure coincidence)

[Mumra]

Sounds like you need a dog/child unless you've already got one

[nik at work]

 
Very true

[Wood FT]

Sounds like you need a dog/child unless you've already got one

End of thread

[lagerstarfish]

I was talking to DaveThomas90

there's your problem, right there

that's enough to send anyone barmy

if you start thinking like Dave, you'll soon be lost to the real world

 

[psychomansam]

Sounds like you need a dog/child unless you've already got one

A cat and then a child are almost inevitabilities over the next few years. Granted, that probably WILL give me motivation to get out to the Peak... while simultaneously rendering it implausible.

[TheTwig]

Try meditation. Seriously. Helped me through some major internal life-crisis type situations. Highly recommend giving headspace a try.

Have you tried swimming for keeping in shape? As long as you vary your stroke it is incredible for all-around fitness. As mentioned elsewhere it might be worth looking at your posture and see if there are any improvements to be made there.

Good luck and thanks for sharing, it isn't easy!

[webbo]

Try meditation. Seriously. Helped me through some major internal life-crisis type situations. Highly recommend giving headspace a try.

I recommend the Ladybird book of Mindfulness.
its full of such gems as
Jane has tried many ways of energising and detoxing.

She went on a raw food diet, but the chicken made her very poorly.

Then her tutor told her to "be like water" Jane thought this was a good idea.

Now, just like water, she is drunk most lunchtimes.

[T_B]

How about some hillwalking/scrambling? You could plan some big days out in the Lakes/Snowdonia that will get your back moving, tire you out, help drop the weight, be good for the head and get you psyched for being in the outdoors? Carry a light pack and move quickly. Could also help get you back into fell running, though it sounds as though you need a strategy for sorting the back out first.

Do what you enjoy doing, rather than what you think you should enjoy doing. It's OK to take a break from the sports/activities you previously associate with being motivating and pleasurable.

[kelvin]

Do what you enjoy doing, rather than what you think you should enjoy doing. It's OK to take a break from the sports/activities you previously associate with being motivating and pleasurable.

This.

My body is riddled with problems and I'm just back from a pretty disastrous (in climbing terms) 8 month trip to Spain, mainly in part to a rather more messed up right forearm than I'd ever imagined. I've pretty much stopped climbing since I've been back, due in part to back pain from rolling my van on a motorway (ending the trip 6 weeks early) and being diagnosed with two new bone spurs in the right knee (I'd assumed meniscus again) and a lack of cartilage in the upper spine.

It's fucking depressing. BUT. I wandered over to Wales with the new girlie and took her up Tryfan north ridge for her first day in the great outdoors and I loved it. I forget sometimes that I started a scrambler, not some indoor boulderer and whilst I have little to no enthusiasm to try hard at the moment - I'm not gonna beat myself up about it. I'll do the stuff I like and no more.

Life ebbs and flows and a person's psyche to climb goes with it. If you've been chatting to Dave T, then you'll know his went for a while fairly recently. Focus on the enjoyable stuff and what you can do. That's enough.

[the_dom]

Sam, my thoughts - having been / being in a similar situation:
- Don't do your PhD part time. I aced a part time Masters and then started a PhD part time.. and didn't even come close to finishing it. Find a subject that you can connect to and then find a way to do it full time (that's currently what I'm trying to do)
- In terms of activity, find something you love, and don't act quite so binary about it. I got more and more frustrated with climbing a few years ago, as a result of frustrating, recurring injuries, stopped climbing and spent a year directing my climbing-developed obsession towards surfing. I still surf, and climb, and I love climbing again, but I have a balance that I never had in the past. Balance is key (says the guy who has managed to sneak out to boulder on two of the three days of his honeymoon thusfar)..

Finally, good luck - this is difficult stuff that requires lots of soul searching, so talk to your partner about it if you haven't.They often know us better than we know ourselves (I say this from experience).

[Falling Down]

Do what you enjoy doing, rather than what you think you should enjoy doing.

I wish someone had told me this in my twenties and thirties.  It's taken me a long time to work this out and cut myself some slack.  Wise words TB

[lagerstarfish]

Any thoughts?

I get a lot of benefit from getting involved in nature stuff - get up early and see sunrise, even if it's just for a walk or easy bouldering, same goes for sunset. even better is getting out in the full moon on a clear night, minimal use of torches. really easy routes at an interesting time of day are special. sitting by the back door with a cup of coffee listening to the dawn chorus develop. it all helps me to become motivated for other things

the other thing that helps is doing stuff with other people - my natural instinct is to go fishing, climbing, wandering about at night etc on my own, but whenever I do manage to get my social arse in gear and meet up with other people to do stuff outside, I am reminded that it is better than drink or drugs (and certainly better than TV)

these things don'y just help pass the time, they help me to find out what I want to do

[lagerstarfish]

I should have gone out last night instead of waiting for sleep that never came - at least I'd have felt like I'd done something and might have created a few nice memories

[battery]

Just on the PHD thing, I know several people who are  very succesfully (so far!) doing part time PHDs however they are all professional practice doctorates where the research is directly related to, if not a part of, their work and they are all supported by their employer.

The AHRC has changed the way they fund things recently and I'm not sure what field you're in but if it's relevant then look up Collaborative Doctoral Awards on the AHRC website.

[SA Chris]

I should have gone out last night instead of waiting for sleep that never came - at least I'd have felt like I'd done something and might have created a few nice memories

Likewise. +1 on your other comments about generally going out on your tod too. Usually if there's surf I just grab my boards and go, but on Sunday night dropped a text to a mate in a similar situation to me (young kids, full time + job, limited free time) and we hit the water together and it was great to have some company and share some banter for a change. I know the scene in Aberdeen for most things is a lot smaller and inclusive than the Peak for example, but a sociable session is always good for the soul.

[Duma]

Any thoughts?

I get a lot of benefit from getting involved in nature stuff - get up early and see sunrise, even if it's just for a walk or easy bouldering, same goes for sunset. even better is getting out in the full moon on a clear night, minimal use of torches. really easy routes at an interesting time of day are special. sitting by the back door with a cup of coffee listening to the dawn chorus develop. it all helps me to become motivated for other things

the other thing that helps is doing stuff with other people - my natural instinct is to go fishing, climbing, wandering about at night etc on my own, but whenever I do manage to get my social arse in gear and meet up with other people to do stuff outside, I am reminded that it is better than drink or drugs (and certainly better than TV)

these things don'y just help pass the time, they help me to find out what I want to do

This is a lovely post, thanks.

[webbo]

Any thoughts?

I get a lot of benefit from getting involved in nature stuff - get up early and see sunrise, even if it's just for a walk or easy bouldering, same goes for sunset. even better is getting out in the full moon on a clear night, minimal use of torches. really easy routes at an interesting time of day are special. sitting by the back door with a cup of coffee listening to the dawn chorus develop. it all helps me to become motivated for other things

the other thing that helps is doing stuff with other people - my natural instinct is to go fishing, climbing, wandering about at night etc on my own, but whenever I do manage to get my social arse in gear and meet up with other people to do stuff outside, I am reminded that it is better than drink or drugs (and certainly better than TV)

these things don'y just help pass the time, they help me to find out what I want to do

You been at TTs Philosophy bars again.

[lagerstarfish]

You been at TTs Philosophy bars again.

unfortunately not

perhaps I should