[shark]

I struggle to make mixed family and climbing trips work ... Shark, or any other climbing parents, where’s your blog on this? I need help or at least moral support. )

A big topic. 

I think a good starting point is to understand your enemy.Most partners (lets call them Climbing Prevention Officers) will have realised that climbers are never satisfied and have a bottomless desire to go climbing and the more you do the more you want to do more. Try and make it not seem like that to your CPO even if it is the truth. If you are in deadlock/stalemate then maybe something drastic like negotiating an annual plan or at least renegotiating the terms of engagement is required. Failing that keep nagging (they can say no 99 times but only have to say yes once). Sulking whilst neither mature or pretty can be effective. Get the kids climbing and taking them climbing can count as childcare. Work hard at getting your partner interested in climbing has got to be worth trying too.

Obviously locating yourself near a climbing area and having a flexible job are ways round. We all have choices.   

[Grubes]

Thurs: TR'ing on a mysteriously-overlooked line (extension to existing short route) in the middle of one of Squamish's best sport cliffs. Surprisingly climbable (.12b ish) and worthwhile but needs bolts; splitting & stacking firewood

I assume that is nightmare wall and not cheakamus. I hated cheak
Which route?

[Duma]

Nice one Muenchener.

STG - fix finger
MTG - keep niggles in check, run regularly, get out more. If I do any hard stuff that'll be nice too.
LTG - 8A, 68kg

M-
T - Redpoint for gentle plastic routes session, went ok, no falls and a few 7a+'s
W -
T -
F - Run, 10m, 1:33. nice to get out in the woods, feel like I'm doing something.
S -
S -
 
69kg.

Another crappy week, finger still doesn't feel up to bouldering, loads of work since end of Aug also sapping I suppose. Rota eases now though so hopefully things'll improve.

[iain]

Cheque, that's a great start to the trip, bodes well.

Good work Muenchener 


STG: Infinite Gravity

Mon: Rest

Tues: Works circuits. It's been a few weeks since I did these so I was expecting a drop in performance and I wasn't disappointed. Completed 2x3 laps on the 7b, with varying rests between and during laps as other people on the wall.

Wed: Works bouldering. Long session, quality efforts with plenty of rest.

Thurs: Rest

Fri: 4.5 hour drive to Swanage and head down to get on Wall of the Worlds. Get up the easy section to the first gear and start trying to figure the moves above but smeggy conditions and a rapid flash pump result in a down climb and exit.

Sat: A day of two parts. First was a visit to Infinite Gravity. Was in a 3 initially so I left them to do routes and abbed down the line cleaning and trying moves as best I could. Got some useful new beta but confirmed that conditions were rubbish. Retrieved some knackered gear, (although need to go back with pliers/hammer to get one bit out,)
but the quickdraw I left in a year ago was in ok nick. There are some weird micro-conditions in the cave.

Then headed back to Wall of the Worlds meeting Duncan. Turns out that abbing IG was a great warm up and conditions were good. After loooong stops at the rests, some brief, terrified gibbering to myself at the crux and the filthiest top-out I've dealt with at Swanage I did my first guidebook E5. Very pleased.
Didn't see much of what else was going on except for Ed repeatedly appearing then rapidly disappearing on Mother Africa. Need to try that sometime.

Sun: Anticipated poor conditions, a late start by my partner and feeling battered by the previous day meant that IG wasn't on. Had an easy day repeating routes at Winspit


In contrast to last week's downbeat post this was a productive week with a start made on IG and ticking a route I've wanted to get on for ages which was every bit as good as I hoped.
Have definite days on IG this weekend and next so keeping finger's crossed the weather plays nice for a while.

[nai]

I struggle to make mixed family and climbing trips work ... Shark, or any other climbing parents, where’s your blog on this? I need help or at least moral support. )

Work hard at getting your partner interested in belaying has got to be worth trying too.

sorted that for you

[Luke Owens]

Fri: 4.5 hour drive to Swanage

That's a long old way! You must be psyched for Swanage!

I did my first guidebook E5. Very pleased.

Great effort!

[Sasquatch]

STG - 8A+ Local Project - SUCCESSFULY COMPLETED  
STG - God Module(8A) in HP 40 in Early Oct (prob have crap conditions, so may not go so well) FAIL
MTG - Plan trip and go back and finish off Mandala this winter
LTG - 8B and 8B+ local projects.  They finally feel possible...

This week was visiting the inlaws in rural Alabama. 

M - Run 6 mi, then a night session down to HP to check it out.  Note - going to a brand new area by yourself at night is a bit spooky.  Overall had a really good session.  Did a bunch of classic and ticked three problems off my life list - Millipede, Bumboy, and Slider    Didn't get God Module which is the other on the list from the area,  although I did stick the crux first move.  Only 1 pad and no spotter made me too scared of finishing it.  Did manage to compleetly freak myself out on another problem with a dirty slopey topout in the pitch black and no pad under me and no chalk.  Did the slap, slide, slap, slide grovel up the top....  Way too close to taking a fall I doubt I would have walked away from.... Very poor decision making. 
T - Got very drunk with in-laws
W - Headed to check out local waterfall area.  Ended up doing some really fun shoeless, chalkless DWS (up to 25ft) and cliff jumping.
Th - Headed back to HP 40 in the morning. The plan was to go with son#1, but ended up with wife, Son, brother in law and father in law.  I was hoping to get out early for better temps/conditions, but with all the add-ons, that wasn't about to happen.  Had a ton of fun and did 35 problems up tio 7C, but didn't manage to get back on God Module.  Happened to randomly flash a 7C though, which was my first confirmed flash of the grade
F - Drove from Alabama to New Orleans - Loads of drinking and eating
S - Loads of drinking and eating
S - Loads of drinking and eating

[Sasquatch]

A catalogue of poor strategies. I struggle to make mixed family and climbing trips work. I consume far too much energy getting everyone out of the house and to the venue to have much left for the rock. Neither party are happy: family don’t feel they are getting a proper holiday, it’s just an excuse for Dad to go climbing, Dad feels pressured to perform in limited time available. Consequently proper warm-ups go to pot and predictable results ensue. Shark, or any other climbing parents, where’s your blog on this? I need help or at least moral support.

So I just got back from this as well and I struggle with it.  Ours was without a doubt a "family holiday", but there was no way I was going to miss getting a day of Bouldering in at HP40 when it was only 45 minutes away.  What I find has to happen to make it work is to ensure they have a good time and are active for a significant chunk of the day.  That way they don't feel abandoned or cheated.  They have a great time, which then makes them more likely to be supportive of your activity.  This can be exhausting though, and doesn't always work.  The first night I snuck out to go check out HP 40, I got the "abandon" guilt trip as I walked out the door because it was the "first day" with her parents and I was leaving.  I went anyway, and while I felt mildly guilty, I also know that it was a far better decision this way.  If I had stayed I would have been frustrated at not going and adding that to the in-law stress I would have been less than nice.  That said, she called me while I was driving and recognized that it was the right call and wished me luck....  I have a great wife....

Dunno if that helps, or even gives moral support, but I feel ya....  It's always a struggle. 

[Ti_pin_man]

I think a parentBoulderingWorld wold be a great thread.

[Luke Owens]

I think a parentBoulderingWorld wold be a great thread.

+1

I've had a great year and progressed a ton with my climbing and our first child has just turned 1 today!

It really helped when I got my partner into climbing, not so much because she climbs as well now but more so that she understands my obsessive mentality and why I'm "So psyched I finally stuck the last heinous move on my proj".

We've got a trip to Font planned for the end of the month and it's just our son, my partner and I and we're both just as excited for the climbing!

[krymson]

[Happened to randomly flash a 7C though, which was my first confirmed flash of the grade

[T_B]

Shark, or any other climbing parents, where’s your blog on this?

Take the inlaws with you.

(Handy for when you fall off and break yourself - their day at the beach isn't ruined whilst you're en route to hospital  )

[iain]

Thanks Luke

You must be psyched for Swanage!

I used to live nearer there, heading back means seeing friends and getting back on Infinite Gravity, both of which are well worth the travel.

[Sasquatch]

I think a parentBoulderingWorld wold be a great thread.

[Happened to randomly flash a 7C though, which was my first confirmed flash of the grade

Thanks.  I didn't have a guidebook so I was just running around climbing stuff that looked cool, and happened to nail this one

[SA Chris]

I struggle to make mixed family and climbing trips work.

I'm starting to wonder if it's worth it. Better to leave family trips as family trips, and climbing trips as climbing trips. Constantly trying to push the climbing agenda just causes stress and frustration. Just grab your free time on evenings and weekends, and once in every 7 blue moons have a short climbing holiday with a climbing partner or mates and focus on getting some stuff done.

See also "mixed family and surfing" and "mixed family and skiing"

T_Bs advice of taking your parents or inlaws along is good if you get on with them well enough, but can make things a bit expensive if you are paying for accomodation etc. I would choose my inlaws over parents TBH.
 

[shark]

I struggle to make mixed family and climbing trips work.

I'm starting to wonder if it's worth it. Better to leave family trips as family trips, and climbing trips as climbing trips.

Obviously there are some compromises to be made on both sides but its got to be better than a non-climbing holiday.
 
Choice of location is a big factor in making it work ie easy proximity to both climbing and beach/lake. Locations that have worked well for us are Ailefroide/Briancon, Arco, Mallorca and the Ardeche. And of course Font.

Also going with another climbing family or having a team local also helps.

[andy popp]

I struggle to make mixed family and climbing trips work.

I'm starting to wonder if it's worth it. Better to leave family trips as family trips, and climbing trips as climbing trips.

Obviously there are some compromises to be made on both sides but its got to be better than a non-climbing holiday.
 

Personally, I'm not convinced of even that and never really bothered trying myself.

[duncan]

Thanks for the comments about combining family and climbing trips. It has clarified my thoughts on the matter and been useful therapy. 

I think a parentBoulderingWorld wold be a great thread.

Almost enough material for a spin-off thread?

I struggle to make mixed family and climbing trips work ... Shark, or any other climbing parents, where’s your blog on this? I need help or at least moral support.

Shark didn't make the basic error of marrying a Japanese woman ...

Take the inlaws with you.
(Handy for when you fall off and break yourself - their day at the beach isn't ruined whilst you're en route to hospital  )

The slight flaw in this plan is that they live 6000 miles away. My Mum lives in Somerset which can be useful.

Work hard at getting your partner interested in belaying has got to be worth trying too.

I tried the climbing and belaying thing a few years ago. Not into climbing. For a multitude of reasons I’m much happier with almost anyone else belaying me!

In the long-term, I’m hoping the offspring training programme will work, although the age gap is pretty huge.

So I just got back from this as well and I struggle with it.  Ours was without a doubt a "family holiday", but there was no way I was going to miss getting a day of Bouldering in at HP40 when it was only 45 minutes away.  What I find has to happen to make it work is to ensure they have a good time and are active for a significant chunk of the day.  That way they don't feel abandoned or cheated.  They have a great time, which then makes them more likely to be supportive of your activity.  This can be exhausting though, and doesn't always work.  The first night I snuck out to go check out HP 40, I got the "abandon" guilt trip as I walked out the door because it was the "first day" with her parents and I was leaving.  I went anyway, and while I felt mildly guilty, I also know that it was a far better decision this way.  If I had stayed I would have been frustrated at not going and adding that to the in-law stress I would have been less than nice.  That said, she called me while I was driving and recognized that it was the right call and wished me luck....  I have a great wife....

Dunno if that helps, or even gives moral support, but I feel ya....  It's always a struggle.

Sounds extremely familiar.

I've had a great year and progressed a ton with my climbing and our first child has just turned 1 today!

It really helped when I got my partner into climbing, not so much because she climbs as well now but more so that she understands my obsessive mentality and why I'm "So psyched I finally stuck the last heinous move on my proj".

We've got a trip to Font planned for the end of the month and it's just our son, my partner and I and we're both just as excited for the climbing!

That's great to hear. Font has been the one unalloyed success. Partially because it offers a lot for non-climbers (but so does Purbeck when the sun shines). Also that bouldering is so much more time-efficient. I can get completely spanked in a couple of hours, whereas sea-cliff trad. can easily occupy all the daylight hours (and sometimes more!). I think the main reason is that bouldering is the one type of climbing where goal-orientated Duncan can take time off and let the natural child have a play.

If I do a combined family and climbing trip I think I have to try to be Bob.

In the main I agree with Andy.