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 fiendblog
April 16, 2010, 07:00:06 pm
Blog?
16 April 2010, 5:50 pm



Soon! I've been climbing.



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#1 Nice thrutching at North Third
April 17, 2010, 07:00:04 pm
Nice thrutching at North Third
14 April 2010, 7:00 am



One of my vague Scottish sub-plans is to climb at least a route at every crag with starred Extremes in the Lowland Outcrops book (apart from some of the Galloway Hills nonsense with 3 day walk-ins). Not necessarily for top quality climbing but for the interest and diversity and love of esoteric wee crags. The other weekend I had an unexpected chance to do just that, and got both an esoteric wee crag and top quality climbing.

This is North Third, where we hadn't planned to go to. We had planned to go to Cambusbarron Quarry, which was looking increasingly implausible as I drove through heavy showers to get there. A sopping wet carpark dissuaded us from even wasting the 2 minute walk-in. After some musing on plan B (drive down to Ratho, climb outside if dry or inside if wet), Mike from Dundee decided it was too much extra driving, but said he was going to have a recce of North Third. I was curious so drove along too, "just for a look". Curiosity rewarded the cat and the crag, being considerably more open and exposed, was actually dry.

Thus (after an abortive and somewhat "steep learning curve" jamming lesson attempt by Mike) I managed to get to grips the jamming classic Jezebel, which was great, and then Flying Dragon opposite (and above) which was even greater. Jamming at it's best, at a crag with a great location and really unusual vibe, like few places I've climbed at in the UK. So I got unexpected dry rock, an unplanned esoterica tick, and undeniably good climbing. Win!



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#2 Silly Sicily!
April 17, 2010, 07:00:07 pm
Silly Sicily!
15 April 2010, 7:00 am



[IF, somehow, you don't want to read all my rambling, scroll halfway down for more succinct details...]

Actually there was nothing remotely silly about it, unless one counts driving through the night to Liverpool airport to fly out there, or Ryanair deciding in their infinite wisdom to leave my bag sunning itself and no doubt ticking big numbers in my abscence when I flew bag into Liverpool.

First things first, the World Famous Helen Rogers asked me to take loads of pictures, so here is a picture of a goat:

And here is different picture of a different goat:

Hope that helps. It was quite cool to have herds of these moseying around beneath the crag, merrily clanking away in discordant disunion. To borrow the legendary George Smith's phrase, an ascent without goatbells is an ascent without dignity.

So, unsilly Sicily. Lots of people have been asking about this so I'll try to give some useful information. Firstly, my trip: Last minute plan, following the usual "doomed to failure" attempts on UKC and email to drum up some interest in more diverse climbing areas, which the Titt brothers (Portland and Swanage veterans) had seen and suggested I join them in Sicily. Very kind of them but not nearly as kind as their hospitality, guided tours of the best climbing, interesting old timer debates / ranting and Scott's supplying of good coffee. Thanks guys. Despite an initial "ho hum more Euro-Lime" thought, I had an ace trip, 21 long routes in 3 1/2 days. No huge numbers but some great - and surprisingly diverse - routes and some good challenges. Plus plenty of sleep and some nice food....trio of smoked fish with olive oil parsley and lemon nom nom nom.

Now then, some info. The area we were climbing in is San Vito, this is the local town:

Not bad eh. That "crag" in the background is a few hundred metres high, almost roadside, and has a mere handful of routes that go all the way. The photo is taken from a peninsula that juts northwards into the sea between two spectacular bays each flanked by such mountains. On the peninsula there is a very good campsite which has a load of facilities and is....well put it this way if you got some of the closest pitches, you could belay from the tent although you might get ropedrag. Otherwise you have to brave a 1-5 minute walk. Brave a 10-15 minute drive (San Vito town is 5 mins) and you have dozens more varied crags, including the world class Never Sleeping Wall which had the best F6a+ and F6b+ I've ever done - 30m of pure tufas and blobs up a sheer wall.

Trying to keep it succinct:

Pros of Sicily:

+ Great campsite with choice of pitches, caravans, and nice wee bungalows, good showers, bar, pizzeria, swimming pool, kiddies swimming pool, and climber-friendly owners.

+ Coast is 2 mins walk away.

+ Nice town and great beach 5 mins drive away.

+ Local crags are IN the campsite.

+ Loads of crags nearby.

+ Very varied climbing for Euro Lime, all types of lime style and angle, and length from 15m cave routes to 300m mountain routes.

+ New routes being put up all the time - and all well bolted by the Titts & Co (I did the second ascent of great F6c crack that had been bolted the week before).

+ Loads of great easy routes - the Titts like putting up good easy ones (I did the second ascent of a cool F6a slab that had been bolted the day before)

+ Good diverse harder routes.

+ Masses of new route potential - including some very hard potential.

+ Crags facing sun and shade.

+ Good climate throughout autumn / winter / spring.

+ Much less crowded and polished than Choada Blanca. Plus no Benidorm in sight.

+ 50 mins easy drive from airport.

+ Cheap direct Ryanair flights.

+ Apparently there are porcupines near the campsite.

Cons of Sicily:

- Coast next to campsite is mostly jagged limestone.

- Some of the crags next to the sea can be greasy on still days.

- Choice of airports serving Trapani / Palmero is limited.

- The very newest routes can have very sharp rock.

- I didn't see any bloody porcupines.

Basically as Euro-Lime goes, it's pimp. The Titts want people to visit (nice people, not mindless hordes) and even as a sceptic I concur they have a good point. So there you go.



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Going well at Great Wanney, climbing languidly at Crag Lough
16 April 2010, 7:00 am



So after Sicily it was onto Northumberland for Secret Squirrel's Secret Weekend - with only a minor diversion driving to fucking Glasgow to get spare climbing kit and warfarin. Thanks Ryanair you cunts, I really appreciated the extra 4 hours driving and a total of 3 hours sleep. Genuine thanks to over-caffeinated sugary drink company and to the climbing posse for being leisurely enough that I met them at the crag parking. That crag was Great Wanney (Squirrel wisely chose to base us in Bellingham to explore the equally interesting but underused southern Northumbria area), and that name filled me with a certain amount of trepidation, because I've been wanting to do the minor classic Thin Ice (below) for years and that doing probably meant getting scared and faffing and stuff.

In the end, however, it didn't mean that at all!! After warming up on the opposite route (Broken Wing - almost as good and an essential warm-up), the World Famous Helen Rogers - as well as providing the usual excellent company AND plenty of amusement getting to grips with Wanney's easy classics - was kind enough to abseil down and clean Thin Ice (north facing crag, bit of lichen, likely first ascent of the year etc etc). And so I got on it and skated up it with a quite frankly shocking lack of fuss. This might be because it's a full grade overgraded, or it might be because it was really inspiring and just drew me on - the crux (below) being the best sequence in Northumbria, surely? Or it might be because I'm climbing well....but let's not get too silly...

Next day, after actually participating in another leisurely morning of eating bacon and stroking cows (mmm cows), the remaining members of the party sampled the diversity of the area by visiting the vaguely Tremadog-esque Crag Lough and Peel Crag. My highest aspirations at this crag were also lichenous and there was no Helen Rogers to get her brush into action, so I could relax and sample some other options. Except, in the perculiar world of grades, styles, and climbing variance, both the other options I did felt as hard as anything the previous day. Good onsight challenges, and one was a great route. And that was that. Feel very chuffed, drive back to Glasgow, battered haggis and chips and SLEEP.



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#4 Perfect days at Polldubh.
April 18, 2010, 01:00:34 am
Perfect days at Polldubh.
17 April 2010, 6:13 pm



One of the main, but not only, reasons for being in Scotland is to be able to explore the awesome, diverse, and beautiful cragging with normal weekend trips rather than the 8 hour missions from Sheffield. The winter, variable weather, and even more variable climbing partners has made this a sometimes frustratingly distant dream even when the crags are considerably closer. But now, spring has sprung (it's raining outside as I type), the ski season is over, and the snow and ice is finally fucking off the crags.

So the cragging season is starting (well, continuing, for me) in earnest. In the recent heatwave, I managed a 2 day dash to Polldubh. I'd been years ago, an abortive 12 hour round trip of sunshine and showers and rain and midges and general utter bollox. THIS trip was considerably better. Two days of superb sunshine and terrific temperatures and classy cragging in stunning surroundings - I'd never made it up to see Steall Falls before....how damn cool is that area?!

[Land Ahoy on Black's Buttress - 15m of intense and immaculate 5a - 5b climbing to reach the first gear. Not the sort of "gritstone legbreaking horror" I usually choose these days, but a great experience nevertheless, very interesting keeping calm on fairly steady climbing in an increasingly serious position.]

Day one I seconded plenty of easy routes until late in the evening when we trekked up to Black's Buttress and I did two great slabs. Day two we trekked up to Wave Buttress - my main inspiration - first before it got too warm, and I did the legendary Edgehog (well worn, well chalked, join the dots trade route) and the adjacent Walter Wall (no chalk, less gear, a much more satisfying journey), and then finished off lounging and belaying in the sun - I got sunburnt! In the Highlands! In spring! This is the sort of trip that makes it all worthwhile, and hopefully there'll be many more when the weather allows. Basically, even more RAD, even more SYKED :D



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Abortive attempts at Auchinstarry, determination at Dunglas.
22 April 2010, 3:24 pm



I've been to Auchinstarry 3 times in the last few weeks, with the intention of trying something a bit more challenging i.e. Nijinski. Day 1 - warmed up, showered off. Day 2 - warmed up, showered off. Day 3 - warmed up, showered....but it passed. Oh hurrah. That meant I actually had to try it....obeying the inexplicable exhortations of my soul.

[Talking about souls, or rather the lack thereof, one thing I notice when reading about Nijinski is the vast hordes who have top-roped, or most usually attempted to top-rope it. This is....both highly vulgar and even less explicable. It's THE standout line and classic bold head-game LEAD testpiece of the Central Belt, what on earth would possess someone to waste such a quality climb by top-roping it, at very best a pointless no star muscular exercise?? As it happens when I turned up, lo and behold there was someone dangling off the end of a rope, scuffing their way around the crux with clearly no concept of the challenge involved nor the ability needed. I couldn't resist and politely suggested that if they can't do it, there was the obvious alternative of not doing it (why do people always miss this option?) and instead doing one of the superb mid-grade leads scattered around the quarry. They probably thought I was a complete cunt - "Hi, I AM a complete cunt" - and there was muttering to that effect, well, I have strong beliefs in aiming for quality climbing experiences and encouraging people to do so, rather than low quality abuse of something they shouldn't be anywhere near. This isn't a fucking climbing wall and Nijinski isn't a 3 star classic for fucking aiding your way up on a top-rope. Thankfully they packed up pretty shortly and disappeared....a bit of a sour taste was left but not as sour as if I'd kept hush and not put my real life money where my online mouth is.]

Later on I got on the route for a look. Many years ago I'd watched Grimer starting this (onsight but with pre-placed wires IIRC) and thought the lower arete looked quite worrying. When it formed in my mind as a possible idea, I was more worried about the highball start than the crux - but protected - finish. I was wrong both ways, the highball start is piss as is gaining the gear slot, and the upper crux seems inexplicable, blind, and very hard. Having teased in no less than 8 microwires into the so-called gear rack - of which 2 were actually good! - I felt fine with the fall potential but not with the failure potential. I got stood on the quartz ripple a few times (and reversed), but got bored with not knowing what to do next, so finished up Death Is...

So yeah, I asked people to not top-rope it in the context that it really should be led onsight, tried to lead it onsight, and had to escape off. What a cunt?? Well, no, not really. I was prepared to put myself out, to commit to it, to give it a go, to try to raise my game to the level the climb deserved. I was there standing on the ripple with a collection of tiny wires a few yards to the left, not sitting on a rope from above. I didn't manage it this time but I have a strong belief in the experience I am aiming for and aspiring to....I think I'll wait until I'm a better climber before I go back.

And next...

Next day I was bored with quarried basalt and trad too (a bit jaded after two good weekends at Northumberland and Polldubh) and fancied a change rather than a rest so what better than confusing, blind, over-bolted, loose, green and freezing cold esoteric sport climbing?? What better indeed. We went to Dunglas for a few hours and played on the new micro-sport wall. A bit like many such places, it's a bit crap and a bit good at the same time. It's everything I wrote above, but it's also hard, powerful, and pumpy for short routes, and therefore good training, which is sometimes all you need. Did a few routes and a couple I had to fight a bit on, so that's good. Not sure what's next but mixing it up is definitely the way. Although as usual it looks like the weather will have the final word in the near future.



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#6 Hip HOP.
April 23, 2010, 07:00:13 pm
Hip HOP.
23 April 2010, 1:03 pm



Pay attention to this one and trust me. If you like or even merely tolerate hip-hip-hop, you need this in your life. It is bigger than big.

Swollen Members - Armed To The Teeth

[ Listen to samples rudebwoy. ]

Swollen have always dished out some great hip-hop in their previous albums (Balance, Bad Dreams, Heavy, Monsters In The Closet & Black Magic), with deep heavy beats from Rob Tha Viking and dark quirky lyrics from Mad Child and Prevail, and they've always been a firm favourite of mine.

This album however is the next step up in dopeness. The lyrics have gone downhill a bit with much more of a gangsta style and less wierdness, although plenty of catchy choruses make up for this. The beats however are so PHAT they'd need a lifetime subscription to Weight Watchers. Not only phat but well varied from rude underground stuff to dark melodic stuff to stomping party stuff, Rob Tha Viking should be made a Saint of Sickness. Things hit the ground running with "Reclaim The Throne" and generally get better and better until track 13 "Flyest" hits and OMG BASS, I just have to rewind this one every damn time. Oh and it's all good till the end too. 2 okay tracks and 16 great ones, can't ask for much more. I listened to it 4 times in a row, nuff said. Just get it.



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Antics at Arbroath, exciting rubble at Elephant Rock.
25 April 2010, 7:00 am



Scotland is hardly internationally, nationally or even sub-nationally renowned for it's sport climbing. Nevertheless what it lacks in outstanding quality it makes up for in variety. From sea-cliffs to mountain crags, from pastoral outcrops to urban convenience, you can clip bolts on basalt (Dumbarton, Dunglass etc), dolerite (Benny Beg), quarried dolerite (Ratho), schist (Glen Ogle, Weem, Dunkeld etc), quarried granite (North Berwick Law), sandstone (Arbroath), quarried sandstone (Ley, Legaston etc), conglomerate (Camel, Moy Rock), rhyolite (Tunnel Wall), gneiss (Gruinard River Crags) and volcanic "stuff" (Elephant Rock). Last Saturday, with North West bouldering legend Richie Betts, I got to sample two of the more distinctive sport climbing areas...

The weather was equally distinctive - distinctive as in raining despite a dry forecast, then raining out of a clear blue sky, then gloriously sunny but with all the fields furiously steaming and sending up swirls of micro-haar. Somehow the rock - despite steaming a bit on our arrival - was in fairly good condition. Which is fairly fortunate given that Arbroath is fairly unnerving by sport climbing standards. How can 10m bolted routes be unnerving?? Well, slopey rounded sandstone and abseil approaches into hanging belay stances just above the sea, that's how. Like many such situations, once one touches rock, feels the holds, pulls some moves and gets the vibe, it's all jolly good fun in the end, and indeed it was. 4 short but valuesome routes were rattled off on short order, including a classic wee F6c, and neither us nor our kit ended up in the drink. Hurrah.

No pole, no tick. Climbing rules might seem arbitrary, but consider the spirit of the law rather than the letter of the law and it all makes sense. This was actually the hardest move of the day. There should have been harder ones pulled off, but Elephant - which somewhat joyously really does look like an elephant - faces North-ish, and the harder routes tend to follow impressive but potentially greasy cracks. Now I love a bit of greasy crack action me, but not on overhanging F7as that look like bolted Gogarth. So we left those for another day, and rattled off another 4 mid sixes in short order. Elephant is described as "a mixed volcanic intrusion" and one can't really argue with that. Mixed and weird and interesting and fun because of all that. I will be back in dry weather that's for sure. A good and interesting day out!



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#8 Fucking crap at Floors Craig.
April 27, 2010, 01:00:28 am
Fucking crap at Floors Craig.
26 April 2010, 9:31 pm



If these 10m mid-grade routes are just a wee bit steep, then why are the ab ropes so bloody far out from the cliff??

Because they're a bit more than "a wee bit" steep. More like ridiculously bloody steep. I've not really been on anything like it, nor seen much like it apart from Sanctuary Wall. Yeah this is like a mini mid-grade Sanctuary Wall. Sport climbing without bolts, and all close enough to the hard rock platforms that every bit of gear is crucial, you've got to get it right and get it right ASAP, oh and it's schist so all the holds are blind and obscure despite being generally good. Throw in a lack of chalk and a whiff of haar and it all adds up to a climbing experience which is utterly hostile to my climbing style.

I want to like this climbing, I really do. I like the coast, I like the rock, I like the look of it....I like the theory of it. I'm just crap at it. Fucking crap in fact. I think I've got my arse at least slightly kicked every time I've visited Aberdeen, and I don't mean a night out baiting the onshore offshore workers. This time swap "slightly" for "utterly" and you get the gist. 3 fairly steady warm-up routes failed on, and the bigger challenges that inspired me might as well be left for my next lifetime, preferably one where I'm reincarnated as a sea-gull. So that all sucked.

What it all boiled down to is some obvious weaknesses that are exposed - and brutally buttfucked - by this sort of terrain:

1. Fear of falling.

2. Fear of committment to a position where I might fall.

3. Lack of faith in what might lie above.

4. Lack of faith in my ability.

5. Slowness and faff placing gear.

So as always I need to learn positively from this to gain more climbing pleasure. I need to tackle this sort of terrain more, I need to do more falling practice, focus consciously on placing gear smoothly, and train my weaknesses. I also probably need to spend more time on the coast and get to grips with the rock and hopefully progress (up to square one, hah!) on it and truly enjoy it. I expect the usual "wet in the west" weather will give me some opportunity to do so.



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#9 Reassured at Ratho.
May 03, 2010, 01:00:56 am
Reassured at Ratho.
2 May 2010, 5:53 pm



Funny how climbing goes, isn't it. Funny haha or funny strange? Could be either.

After last Sunday's "Weekend Of Weakness" I decided I need to have a few "Hours Of Power" this week. So I did. Tuesday I went to Ibrox bouldering, that was okay, bit sweaty, a bit weak, but okay.

Then I went to Ratho... The odds seemed stacked against me. Last time I went I found it all hard work, I'd almost certainly lost wall fitness, I was crappish the previous weekend, and of course I was knackered from Ibrox bouldering. That was the theory but the reality was somewhat different, I felt fit and perky, had good route pacing and generally F6cs felt easy (unlike before) and a couple of F7as felt close (very unlike before). Raaaargh.

So far so good. Then I went back to Ratho on Saturday. Surely the previous time was a fluke combination of muscular madness and caffeine consumption, and this time it would be back to high altitude pump shutdown. That was the theory but the reality once again was somewhat different, I had the best indoor leading session I've had for about a year. Again fit and perky, but this time I did an F7a....and then another....and then another. Meaningless indoor numerical gibberish of course BUT a good benchmark of a suitable physical challenge. I got pumped, things felt tricky, and I kept going. And took a few small practice falls. Double raaaargh!

That should have topped up things nicely I think!



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#10 Dogging at Dumby
May 03, 2010, 07:00:08 pm
Dogging at Dumby
2 May 2010, 6:35 pm



Redpointing is of course an intrinsically soulless activity, a shallow exercise in muscular persistence, hard work and learning by rote that is devoid of any of the creativity and spirit found elsewhere. Nevertheless it is good practice for onsight sport climbing and onsight sport climbing is good practice for onsight trad climbing which is of course intrinsically superior and the true measure of quality climbing experiences.

Thus sometimes one must dabble. Particularly when one drives to Glen Croe for some trad and it is drizzling in Tarbet, raining in Arrochar, and distinctly damp in the Glen. Boo hiss etc and back to Dumby, where it does rain for a bit later on but is dry and fresh either side. Recently I've got a bit jaded with bouldering at Dumby - I rarely go and thus scarcely manage to warm up before getting my arse kicked. However it's one of the few crags where classic bouldering, sport, and trad sit side by side, so there are good options available. It was a nice vibe on Sunday with teams on hard bouldering, easy trad, and middling sport.

We were the latter, and middled and muddled on a few things. Specifically I dogged my way up an F7b which was fairly interesting - not sustained and not powerful, but with most of the holds being sidepulls and underclings, very sketchy on the feet and easy to muff. Mmmmm muff. I reckon it will go fine. Good training after the invariably positive indoor wall footholds. I also gave an F7a a good flash attempt, and missed it by a midge's foreskin due to a casual tactical error - clipped a bolt in extremis, got carried away with how well it was going, and rushed into the adjacent crux when I should have lowered a move, shook and chalked, and planned the crux better. Getting very close to a Scottish F7a isn't too shabby though, given how short and gnarly they can be (the routes as well as the locals).

Next up: Trad! (I hope)



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#11 BOLT THROWER!!!
May 07, 2010, 01:00:10 am
BOLT THROWER!!!
6 May 2010, 8:43 pm



Bit of personal history for you.

1986 - Bolt Thrower formed.

1990 - John Peel (RIP) played their "Drowned In Torment" track which introduced me to them.

1992 - I buy their Realms Of Chaos CD.

1993 Saturday 15th August - see Bolt Thrower live at the London Marquee, my second ever gig.

1993 Wednesday 19th August - my ears stop ringing.

1994 - for some bizarre reason I get rid of the Realms Of Chaos CD as I find it too rabid. What a gaylord.

2004 - get back into metal. Buy various CDs including 4th Crusade and Mercenary.

2009 - finally restock with the Realms Of Chaos, Warmaster, and their latest and equal greatest For Those Once Loyal.

2010 - see Bolt Thrower live again, 17 years on, and they are still awesome. Finally get to purchase a highly exclusive hoodie and beanie.

It was an ace gig. What makes Bolt Thrower great is how they are so heavy and so catchy at the same time - they manage to blend a dense wall of sound with such strong riffs and drumming that is both brutal and surprisingly groovy. It would be hard not to mosh along and I didn't even try to resist. The crowd were well syked, from kids who just appreciate a class grindcore sound, to veterans who have been following them for two decades. Karl Willets looked fat, sweaty, old, and still full of energy and excitement at delivering the mighty Bolt Thrower sound \m/ YEAH \m/

Well worth going to. I think I need to see Carcass next if they're still touring...

Here's a selection of their best stuff, Throughout The Ages:



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#12 WHERE ARE MY NUTS??
May 13, 2010, 07:00:12 pm
WHERE ARE MY NUTS??
13 May 2010, 9:00 am





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#13 Backlog Blog!!
May 19, 2010, 07:00:12 pm
Backlog Blog!!
19 May 2010, 9:00 am



Previous weekends as follows:

Sorry for all the number bollox but it's been a good run and I can't be arsed to write anything more interesting.

Desires come true at Duntelchaig

Before I considered moving to Scotland, I had 3 routes I'd seen photos of that had really inspired me. I did Edgehog a few weeks ago, and then managed to get to Dracula, which really is a good steep E3 5c crack and not an HVS jamming traverse lke it looks in the photos... One more to go....soon ;). Now I have a thousand more inspirations from my being up here, though.

Dracula E3 5c ***

The All Seeing Eye Font6c ** (flash)

Awesome at Ardmair

I liked Ardmair a lot before, and I like it even more now. Apparently the home of gritty rounded rock and steep jamming sandbags....more like the home of good holds, good gear, and generous grades!

Shakedown E3 5c **

Western Skyline E4 6a **

Space Monkey E2 5c ***

Unleash The Beast E4 6a ***

Lovely day at Lochan Dubh

Originally the plan had been to go to Inverthingy Rock Gym, but since Richie had ticked the crag, we needed another option. A brisk Northerly wind precluded many of the more interesting Gairloch crags, but the sunny and scenic Lochan Dubh seemed a sensible choice. Nice to get on the gneiss, and satisfying to do some big pitches.

The Missing Link E2 5b *

Call Of The Wild E4 6a ***

Minimal respite at Moy Rock

Finally to route off a diverse weekend of schisty stuff, sandstone and gneiss, we added conglomerate into the mix, well indeed it is a mix in itself. It's always fascinated me and Inverness seems the home of UK conglomerate sport climbing. Bizarre and intriguing, who could ask for more. Well, apart from a bit more fitness and freshness after a long weekend...

Little Teaser F6b+ ***

The Dark Side F6c/+ **

Power at Portlethen

As with pretty much everywhere on the Aberdeen coast, Portlethen has shut my ass down. Time for revenge, well only a little bit - small numbers! Under the watchful eye of Mr Big Numbers - indeed the power was his this session, with a massive run of macho problems - I managed to do a couple of previous nemesii fairly steadily. So that was nice. I don't suck that much after all.

Slap And Tickle Font6b+ ** (worked)

The Prow Font6c *** (worked)

Balls conditions at Balmashanner

The lovely Lyons decided a nice sunny evening was best spent clipping bolts in a dank festering hole in the ground, and who was I to argue?? Climbing is a broad church, right?? Apart from bloody mountaineering, that's an entirely different church with it's fair share of wizened old weirdos and kiddy fiddlers. Anyway and alas, Balmashanner really was dank and festering so I warmed up on one lead and warmed down on one errr aid pitch, and that was that. Ace dinner though.

Start The Fire F6b+ **

Climbing really okay at Clashrodney

Next up for my Crushing Aberdeen weekend was a bit of a granite taster. Clashrodney is a nice place with nice climbing, most of which I avoided by sticking to steep and pokey stuff, but that was cool, it turned out to be good fun and give me some confidence. Notably the hardest route felt easy and the easier routes felt hard. Hmmm.

Yellow Peril E1 5b *

Birthday Treat E1 5b ***

Blind Faith E3 5c **

Finishing nicely at Findon Ness

Already evening but with a showery morning forecast the next day, I was determined to get a bit more out of the day, and get a bit more action on the steep and worrying metamorphic schist that spanked my arse sideways a few weeks prior. This time there was distinct progress - my plan of "lots of chalk, slam in the cams, move quick and trust to good holds" seemed to work. There was a bit of a blip going off route on the ambiguous Siva-Guru connection and sitting on the gear before realising I'd ignored a piss easy finish. I can live with that, I got way more pumped attempting the off route version and resting for 10 seconds than if I'd gone direct (a clearer description would help!) initially. Spirit of the law rather than merely the letter of the law!

Siva-guru E3 5c **

Armed Conflict E1 5b **

Mini-beasting at Munich Buttress

A recent inspiration has been the well photographed Monkey Puzzle at Longhaven Quarries. Well photographed and justifiably so as it is an ace tower of rock - strong and dramatic lines up a striking pillar. Both routes I did were brilliant, the mini-beasting came from approx 3m of crux climbing in Jammy Dodger - nope I didn't dodge the jams and yep it was the hardest bit of crack climbing I did on lead. Raaaargh.

Monkey Puzzle E3 5c **

American Route / Jammy Dodger E3 6a **

Final words from the lean and mean Aberdeen legend, regular Font 7a+ ticker, and attempted Jammy Dodger seconder Amanda Lyons:

I'LL FOOKIN' KILL YOU LITTLE MAN!!!!
:D



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#14 Bloody long walk-in to Ben Ledi.
May 24, 2010, 01:00:17 am
Bloody long walk-in to Ben Ledi.
23 May 2010, 8:54 pm



Ben Ledi bouldering is somewhat unusual compared to the schist I've discovered so far. Smeggy sit-start lowballs?? Nope, good high - and often highball - proper boulders. Abstract and unconvincing eliminates?? Nope, proud distinct lines and sheer walls. Snappy flakey rock hidden under slightly more solid lichen?? Nope, clean rough compact schist. Random unmanageable and ankle-hostile boulder jumbles?? Nope, all situated on a fine plateau just 5 minutes from a good track.

So....what's the catch?? Oh yes, getting to that fine plateau, via that good track. The bouldering guide says 30mins on the map and 40mins in the introduction (the bouldering guide is similarly useless when it comes to the walk-in path and the grades of lower grade problems). Lowland Outcrops says 50mins. I say an a full hour if you're stomping it, and at least 1hr 30mins if you're me and you've got fucked legs. Throw in two bouldering mats and a sweltering afternoon sun, and throw out any pretense at being able to bear down when I finally got there. Pity as it was quite inspiring in both the setting and more importantly the climbing. I might go back but it will require a greater logistical overview (probably including a power nap and cans of over-caffeinated sugary drink company!). On the plus side, the stomp, combined with bonus gym session in the morning, was some good cross-training that will hopefully encourage good crushing.

In the meantime, here is Charlie Baker trying to decide on his next bouldering venue, preferably with a shorter walk-in and more tasty meat nibbles:



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#15 Kinda nice day in Knapdale.
May 25, 2010, 07:00:16 pm
Kinda nice day in Knapdale.
25 May 2010, 11:35 am



Kilmichael of Inverlussa is 52 miles from Glasgow as the crow flies, but 97 miles as the car drives, and that drive dwindles from motorway, to dual carriageway A-road, to fast trunk A-road, slow trunk A-road, normal A-road, B-road, single track B-road, minor road, and finally 4WD track as one gets further out in the sticks. This is the sort of place that people who live in the arse end of nowhere go on holiday to get away from it all.

The location makes for an extremely long journey for a single day out, but exploratory lust sometimes demands such escapades. The lust was directed to Creag Nam Fitheach, Knapdale's justifiably premier crag, and the single day was generally very nice - scenery, company, climbing and quite splendid tan-topping weather. The "kinda" comes from the detractions of the drive and also the crag base, a chaotic and overgrown boulder jumble which rivals North Third as The Worst Crag Base of 2010 and is highly incongruous with the convenience of the climbing and tranquility of the setting - there is little option to lounge and relax, unless you are a small-footed midget who likes relaxing whilst standing on one leg on the tiny patio of stable ground formed by the lone flat boulder.

Other than that it's all very reminiscent of a mini-Tremadog in rock feel and features, minus the queues of Classic Rock ticking drones. Strong geometries, rough angular rock, and good climbing. In the end I mostly puntered and avoided a couple of inspiring but sterner challenges. Nevertheless, being Easy Trad(tm) it was Good Fun(tm).

I also had an interesting learning experience on something slightly trickier, a slim, thin, and awkward looking groove. I wasn't really sure about it but thought I'd just "give it a look" and see what gear I could get in the start. One of my few natural talents with climbing (aside from downclimbing and spending ages in awkward and cunning rests) is fiddling in good gear, and Lo! shortly I was surprisingly well protected. So then I thought I'd just "give the moves a look", and promptly took advantage of that good gear by poinging off. Disappointing as I was actually giving it a go, but I had the useful realisation that I had been quite non-committal initially, and although I committed when I'd sorted good gear, I'd still been pretty casual about the climbing. Part of me had realised "hey I'm safe I can give this a go", but I hadn't turned that into full determination and concentration. If I'd made a conscious switch from "give it a look" to "climb it" then I probably would have climbed it!! Something to note for the future.

The end of a nice day:



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#16 Cruising at Cambusbarron.
May 27, 2010, 01:01:02 am
Cruising at Cambusbarron.
26 May 2010, 9:28 pm



Yes, cruising, honestly - it sometimes happens! I occasionally get up slightly challenging climbs, which is invariably due to my uncanny ability to downclimb to rests and often milk the most awkward rests and shakeouts like they are a quad of ripe bulging udders, and almost invariably involves a lot of stress, swearing, and substantial battling, partly with the climb's challenge but mostly with my own psychological demons.

However, that is almost invariably and sometimes that variance includes climbing "normally", unhampered by those demons, and with a modicum of confidence and smoothness. Hard to believe but rest assured it's a rarity. This evening was one of those rare occurences. I bought one packet of Polos and two bottles of midge repellent, cut all the superfluous straps and tags off his rucsac, went to Cambusbarron, seconded a couple of easier routes, warmed up on the challenging "Quantum Grunt" which was quite stiff but I got up it, got on the slightly more challenging testpiece "Big Country Dreams", downclimbed to a rest, milked another rest like a quad of bulging ripe udders, and surprised myself by sailing to the top. Nice to climb something well for a change, and as with almost every challenging route I've done this year, they were both really good. Hurrah.



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#17 Bugger up at Butterbridge.
May 29, 2010, 01:00:21 am
Bugger up at Butterbridge.
28 May 2010, 8:44 pm



The bugger up wasn't mine! I did fine - I went out to boulder, warmed up, wirebrushed a bit, sat out a shower, wrestled with the usual complete bollox Stone Country guide mis-descriptions / mis-grades, and eventually did a couple of cool problems in good fresh conditions, including this:

And the first ascent of this:

Butters V3 **, named in honour of Bbb-bb-but-but-buttttters who seems quite chuffed having done Strawberries recently.

The bugger up came with this:

Part way through my tickling around, I became aware the traffic was starting to go somewhat awry, around a combination of small car transporter and derailed white van, scarcely a few hundred yards from where I was sat (sit starts, you see). 4 police cars, 2 ambulances, 2 fire engines, a salvage truck and a helicopter later, it became obvious things weren't going to move any time soon. All of which was quite interesting in a detached sort of way, except that this was my main route back to Glasgow, and I needed to be back swiftly. Attempted swiftness turned to inevitable sluggishness when my chosen detour route became a nightmare of HGVs having to pass each other on single lane country roads and finally ground to a gridlock. About turn and leg it to Dunoon and catch the ferry back, which is a reassuringly smooth and rather fun experience, apart from it contribution in turning an hour's return into 2 1/2 hours. Ho hum!



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Minor beasting at Myopics Buttress, plus Arse At Aberdeen.
1 June 2010, 3:17 pm



Not a great exploratory weekend just passed, but not a bad training on either. Haven't really pushed myself much physically recently, but ended up going back to Dunkeld with Little Miss Crushalot, and this time to Myopics Buttress where the short bouldery climbs might suit her legendary Aberdeen-honed strength. Whether they did or didn't is for her to answer, but I got roped into a good dogging session too. Had a good play on the steep and powerful "classic of the buttress" and a good rotpunkt attempt which I very nearly got but had missed crucial foot beta and then when I got the beta I ran out of strength. Still that felt like it gave me a good workout which is nice.

The next day at Aberdeen was not so nice, possibly due to that minor beasting. Despite good fresh conditions (sunshine and breeze), another good partner (Canadian b-Rad), and an inspiring cliff (Craig Stirling), I failed on one of my desired routes there, due to utter pump and fiddling in shoddy gear and missing better gear slots. Uggggh. Oh and I lost a shoe in the sea and got hit by a wave when I abseiled too low and nearly went off the road and nearly got done by two speed cameras on the way home. Thankfully a scheduled early return precluded any further climbing / sea-related debacles, but it was quite disappointing given I've been doing okay recently. Once again mastery or even competence at Aberdeen sea-cliff climbing eludes me... Hopefully the weather will allow me to head west and avoid it for a while!



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#19 Stronnng Fiend STRONNNG!
June 01, 2010, 07:00:13 pm
Stronnng Fiend STRONNNG!
1 June 2010, 3:59 pm



LOL

Not really strong, just overuse of my right hand hmmmm...

Also, have a picture of pussy:



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Very little climbing at various lovely crags.
21 June 2010, 11:53 am



Climbing trips - sometimes you win 'em, sometimes you lose 'em. Recently I've won a few, so in the grand karmic balance it's not that surprising to lose one.

In recent years I've become very inspired by the Caithness area - lovely looking sea-cliff outcrops, reasonable approaches, peaceful area, benevolent (for Scotland!!) climate, what's not to like?? Finally I got up there with the now free and fearsome Lyons, however due to various circumstances the promised mega-ticking-trip didn't happen. The climate had a moment of malevolence, mixing midges and mizzle in equal quantities - it was climbable, but not captivating conditions. Mrs L, although big and strong, is just getting back into trad, and found the prospect of abbing into the deep blue sea to be somewhat in at the deep end, and was also not a fan of the funky rock. Pulling a brick-sized hold off onto on her on the first evening might not have helped matters in that regard *gulp*. So it was decided to leave this area for a more experienced / more gullible party. On the plus side, I got a good recce of many great routes, the Wick campsite is very nice and very cheap, and there's a good curry house in town.

In recent days I've become extremely inspired by the Caithness area....and will be back soon!!

Retreat was beaten via: Strathconnon - okay but too hot and too midgey; Cummingston - kinda cool but too late and too greasy; Cullen Caves - ugly choss but good fun power bouldering, unfortunately Cullen Skink in Cullen was somewhat disappointing; The Neuk - thanks once again to Mr S and Mrs L for putting me up with another top quality DVD choice too; Luath Boulders - nice rock but rubbish micro-bouldering; and finally Glen Clova - lovely evening, fairly inspiring, but so knackered due to low-level gayflu that I quit after seconding a couple of routes.

Thusly a rather flaccid non-celebration of midsummer. Long trip, lots of crags, little climbing. Best just to view this as a recce and recuperation time - I think a wee break to let the gayflu settle, then a guns blazing return with maximum SYKE is the best plan. Raaargh.



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#21 Fallin'
June 22, 2010, 07:00:12 pm
Fallin'
22 June 2010, 4:40 pm



I very rarely take trad (or indeed sport) leader falls while climbing. I am far too cowardly for that - scared of falling, scared of the prospect of falling, scared of committing to a situation where I might fall. Although I'm not actually scared when I am falling, the transition from attached and climbing to detached and falling is too much for my poor wee brain to handle. This is probably the biggest hurdle in my climbing and holds me back the most out of any psychological issue. Hence a constant battle to overcome it, and hence semi-regular falling practice at the climbing wall.

Curiously, I have taken more trad leader falls in the last few weeks than I have in the previous decade, as follows:

Thing Of Beauty, Aonach Dubh - short jump off onto gear after going off route due to fucking useless guidebook description and ambiguous line, and getting too pumped to reverse.

Freakout, Aonach Dubh - proper fall due to terminal pump and literally not being able to hang on.

Legover, Creag Dubh - proper fall due to pulling a hold off.

Susan, Mid Clyth - small slump onto gear due to pulling a hold off.

Curiously, although perhaps unsurprisingly, this hasn't made me any less scared of falling. Booo. The Freakout fall was the best and most properist, several metres due to rope stretch, and at the time I was going for it and trying to do a move knowing that I might well fall. The others were pretty minor, maybe this is why - I'm getting used to dropping onto gear but not getting used to committing a long way above it. My fear is quite in proportion to the length of the fall, even though the falling sensations and safety are no worse at all with longer falls. All of which leads me to conclude....ummmm....ahhhh....oh well. Back to the drawing board...



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#22 Re:  fiendblog
June 23, 2010, 09:05:28 am
Matt,

Nice camping too

http://www.inver-caravan-park.co.uk/

Good access for Latheronwheel, and food at pub down the road is OK (or was when we were there) in spite of sombre appearance.

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#23 Backlog Blog.
July 01, 2010, 12:12:22 pm
Backlog Blog.
1 July 2010, 7:00 am



Previous weekends as follows:

Sorry for all the number bollox but it's been a mixed run and I can't be arsed to write anything more interesting.

Puntering about at Pass Of Ballater

Not a lot to say about Pass Of Ballater. I went years ago, lead a VS, belayed someone up an 8m VDiff for an hour, then it rained. This time I came back a wee bit fitter and stronger and syked for some harder routes there. However it seems like every harder route seems to involve a ridiculously hard start up the natural line and an indirect rambling bollox variant, or an unstarred easier variant up the natural line and a highly starred and unnaturally harder rambling bollox variant. It's all a bit odd. The most inspiring lines are in the nasty-little-gritstone-ankle-snapper vein and although cool need to be left for a cooler day. So in the end there was a lot of anger on Anger and Lust (mistakenly thinking the finish would be hard and getting very stressed before realising it was piss, just like the route overall), errr and also I swallowed a fly whilst belaying my partner on his crucial crux move. Hmmm.

Anger And Lust E2 5c ***

Rattlesnake Variant E2 5c **

Wee bit o'bumbling at Weem boulders

Trying to mix and match and do a bit of training to progress with the ever challenging and all important trad onsighting, I diverted to Weem to try some of the bouldering there. Initially impressions of a sheer clean wall above a lovely leafy landing in a sun-dabbled glade are very promising, but like almost all Scottish bouldering venues, there's some crucial deficit - in this case, most of the lines are properly highball with blind, rounded finishes. Not hard but not very enticing for the lone boulderer with two soggy mats. I puntered around, got good at reversing from the top, and had a promising play on the eliminate and arbitrary but kinda fun (and reassuringly lowball) "The Chop".

Some fun at South Yardhope

People sometimes ask me if I've done much climbing in Northumberland... "Only at Back Bowden, Bowden, Berryhill, Callerhues, Corby's Crag, Crag Lough, Curtis Crag, Drakestone, Great Wanney, Goat Crag, Jack Rock, Kyloe In, Kyloe Out, Peel Crag, Ravensheugh, Rothley, Sandy Crag, Selby's Cove, and Simonside", I answer casually with a smug lack of modesty. I do like the County and I do like exploring around it, and I got to do so this weekend, continuing in strict alphabetical order with South Yardhope. Like many "off radar" Northumberland crags, it has great lines that are currently in rubbish condition and need a keen local to clean them up, and a few classics that have stayed climbable. I warmed up on one of those, and got to grips with the seemingly not-classic but actually almost-classic-apart-from-fragile-flakes Stella. This provided a good logistical challenge, good climbing, and a tasty dose of fear. A fine route.

The Arete HVS 5b ***

Stella E4 5c **

Back to Scotland and way up to Rosehearty...

Rock heaven at Rosehearty

Back to Rosehearty after many years. Like Ballater, I'd been before, had a wee bumble, and got inspired to come back and tackle some meatier fare. This I did. The meatier fare was tough, punishing, but good Aberdeen-style steepness. I seemed to spend ages hanging around resting on grim semi-handjams. Well it worked. There was a moment of madness on ...Roses when after a huge effort to deal with the pump and gear and stuff, I pulled a hold off the top. Yet another one!! Strong or just fat?? You decide.

The highlight of the day was a more atypical experience, though: At the end of the day, after a lovely comfy belaying session in the evening sun with waves lapping nearby, I fancied a change so ventured onto the slabbier inner walls. Despite being quite familiar with culm/greywacke style slabs, I ended up a bit of a gibbering wreck on my chosen climb. Resting at a 1/3rd height break, trying to make sense of the maze of seams, dimples, and micro-flakes above, I got myself completely syked out. How could I commit when there seemed to be so little to go for?? "I'm not feeling the love..." I said. But....I eventually took one step to stand in the break. Unnerving. Another step up onto thin footholds. Hmmm. I'm in balance. Okay there's a wee cam. And a wire. Another step. A pocket for my hand. Nubbins for my feet....they're sticking. A good RP. Crimps....hey I'm doing this....hey I'm loving this. Bit by bit I tip-toed up the climb, and tip-toed back into the passion of climbing. Stepping outside the comfort zone and into the pleasure zone, it was a great experience.

Afterglow E2 5b ***

Coming Up Roses E3 5c ***

Tango On The Black E3 5c **

Extremely rubbish at Elephant Rock

It was one of "those" days A L'Heffalump. Great weather, good conditions, dry rock, chalked routes, low tide, plenty of time, good company, feeling fine. Climbing....utterfuckingbollox. Scraped up a warm-up. Got on something harder, couldn't do the start. Got on something a bit easier than something harder, couldn't do the start (think a hold might be missing). Got on one of the main inspiring challenges, put in some effort, foot slipped, I fell off. Arse. Everything stacked in one's favour except one's ability to climb. The only obvious factor was the grindingly painful rock on the warm-up route, which set an offputting sore hands theme for the day. A day in which the highlight was playing with a hermit crab - no bad thing in itself I suppose, hmph!!

Beware Of The Wellyfish F6b **



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#24 Swansong.
July 02, 2010, 01:00:10 pm
Swansong.
2 July 2010, 7:00 am



http://www.ukclimbing.com/articles/page.php?id=2648

I've been on and off the UKC forums for years. On with a lot of ranting and belligerence and generally being, for better or worse, a bit of a UKC personality, and off getting banned twice, avoiding them during non-climbing periods, and generally getting exasperated and staying clear until needs (Lifts and Partners) must. I think I've got to a stable state of play now where I stick to finding people to climb with in Scotland and the odd bit of Scottish information, and stay out of the rest.

The article above is my swansong, partly an acknowledgement of the climbing community, partly something I've been meaning to write for ages in response to my own experiences, but also seeing many experiences from many friends and just the climbing public in general. Hopefully it will be a useful reference guide for people, and a fitting conclusion to my previously major involvement with the forums.



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