[abarro81]

The fact that you made a post about me just ruined marks day.
3 8c+s? Who the fuck do you think you're talking to punk. 4 including both the trav things.

I hope I don't lose your respect and adoration when I tell you that today I fell off an 8a+ when I kneebared on my hand and got stuck...

[AJM]

The fact that you made a post about me just ruined marks day.

I was reading. I was confused. Now I understand...

[Jaspersharpe]

Genius. An attack on the attack poodle done via slightly unlikely praise (which nobody now knows is sincere or not). It's like Shakespeare round here these days.

I can't work out if I wish the internet had been usable/invented when I was involved in the scene or if it would have just meant I'd have got my head kicked in on a regular basis.

[SA Chris]

I kneebared on my hand and got stuck...

Please tell me this is on video.

[abarro81]

I'm afraid not. It has happened before too.. Need to work on my hand extraction technique. That sounds wrong.

[Bonjoy]

we all like him, but we all made that pact in the damp S6 cellar for a reason, to save him from himself. You'll be the upfall of him, mark my words. Stickers on his trousers by the end of May.

maybe i've bought Alex Barrows shares, and I'm just hyping the brand before releasing the Alex Barrows(TM) signature range of kneepads?

I'd buy one. Couldn't be worse than the wretched 5.10 kneepit slashers. Do they come with complimentary gaffer tape and disposable razor?

[Paul B]

TBH I'd buy one too after trying on Stu's spare, much better than the FiveTen pads and if he (or his Mum more likely) can crack the straps (neoprene seems a too stretchy for this part IMO) then it'll be 'Da Bomb' Kneepads from Barrows.

[SA Chris]

I can see a cottage(ing) industry growing here.

[Stu Littlefair]

Just goes to show there is a demand for some decent kneepads out there.

I am currently designing a Mk II version of the one I lent Paul, which will fix the straps along with some other tweaks to improve longevity. I've only got enough rubber to make about 4 though, and two of those will obviously be for me... If people are interested, and my mum is keen I suppose we could make a larger batch. However, my current design is pretty much a rip-off of the Send Downgrader strap and I'd feel uncomfortable making a Send clone in any quantity. Plus I'd have to source the rubber, which isn't easy...

[Paul B]

Just goes to show there is a demand for some decent kneepads out there.

Demand can't be that high given I left it in the middle of the Foundry floor and nobody knicked it

Joking aside, what modifications do you intend to make beyond the stretchy straps? Did you glue the rubber to the neoprene as well as stitching it?

[Stu Littlefair]

The main changes would be to avoid sharp edges on the rubber and to score a groove in the rubber so the stitching doesn't rub on the rock. The rubber isn't glued on, just stitched.

[a dense loner]

Nobody nicked it Paul since the only other guy who could get his leg into it is getting his mum to make them all !!!
Knee pads! I remember you refusing to drop knee at the school after working on whatever it was for months and months then having the audacity in one of the other threads to say you don't work things. Beautiful 

[comPiler]

Boat People
26 August 2014, 5:58 pm

My new best friend Alex Barrows mentioned during an otherwise interminable car journey that he liked my blog, and was sad I didn't write any more. So I'm going to make an effort to post something up here every now and again.

I don't usually like Bank Holidays. Maybe because the Spaghetti Monster in the Sky hates me, and arranges for me to be away on work trips, whiling away the tedium by flicking through Farcebook and seeing what a great time everyone else is having. Not this time however; this time I had the full three days free. Moreover it is looking as if my rotting connective tissue may be starting to re-knit, allowing me to start doing some actual climbing, as opposed to belaying and offering helpful abuse to fellow crag-dwellers.

[tr][td][/td][/tr][tr][td]HMS Marjory[/td][/tr]

[/table]The Diamond is a crag I've wanted to go to for ever and ever and ever. We tried a few years back, but my nameless partner refused to descend the sliding staircase gully to the handline. This time, inspired by Gus and his continuing adventures in HMS Smash!, I bought myself a dinghy and the wife and I launched boldly crag-wards. And what salty mariners we are! Admittedly, there were a few wrinkles; such as when we cocked up the launch and filled the boat and our rucksacks with brine. And when Jules angrily insisted my rowing instructions made no sense, so that we spent a good few minutes rowing in opposite directions and spinning like a top. Once these minor wrinkles were ironed out, however, we proceeded to the base of the crag at warp-speed, arriving half an hour after high tide. As the photo shows above, half an hour after a high tide of around 7.5m is a perfect time to access the base of any route - although you may be lowering off into the sea!

On the way home, Jules and I passed our time by pleasantly arguing about whether the Diamond qualifies as Britain's #3 sport crag (after Malham and Kilnsey, natch). Suffice to say we had a very good time. Conditions were OK, with a small amount of spooge which burnt off over the day. I would have loved to be on top form and get involved with some of the big rigs (that's what the kids say these days, isn't it?). Unfortunately, neither fitness nor injury allowed it. I did have a play on the Brute, which is very very good, but still too tweaky. However, the finger did allow me to nip up The Sting and Boat People, appropriately. This was enough to reveal that all my hard won fitness has completely vanished. Lots of hard work ahead, methinks!

[tr][td][/td][/tr][tr][td]Rhoslyn on Boat People. Seriously good thugging.[/td][/tr]

[/table]On Monday we went to Malham, which hasn't changed. A shout out to Ted for topping out Totally Free during what seemed at the time to be the coming of the apocalypse. And for working out how to get back down on a 70m rope. We're all chuffed he didn't die.

Source: The Spherical Cow

[willackers]

Nice one Stu. Barrows is right, great blog.

[T_B]

What they said

[SA Chris]

One of the few I look forward to reading. Generally fairly positive, well written and usually amusing.

[comPiler]

The two finest crags in the world
1 September 2014, 10:10 pm

I really love getting to climb with Rupert. Our schedules don't mesh as often as they should. Ru has the excellent reason of having a young and adorable family to raise. I'm not sure what my excuse is. On Saturday Ru organised a full-day pass and we met up to head up climbing somewhere. Given that we didn't think about it too hard, and that we were chatting most of the way out to the peak, it seemed inevitable that my autopilot would kick in and we'd end up at Raven Tor.

After the usual pseudo-competitive warm up (a tie - honest), it became clear that neither of us were firing on all cylinders and so we ditched our plan A's and switched to plan B. Except we didn't have a plan B, so we shuffled back and forwards along the crag looking for a route that wasn't too hard, that we hadn't done, and which was short. There weren't many options. We ended up trying 'The Brazilian'  - a non-existent ex-project which Steve Mac hoovered up, adding a proper finish to give 'Rooster Crossing', and 8c which goes to the top of the crag. The original project took in a hard boulder problem to reach the breathtakingly perfect line of Rooster Booster, and finishes along that. Way back in the day, Ru nearly ticked it in an afternoon, so we figured it would be easy pickings, now that we're older, stronger and wiser. Oh the arrogance of old age. We licked our wounds by doing some stamina training - nothing like getting a stopwatch out at the crag to make you feel like a hero.

On Sunday I once again fell foul of my ambitions, and made the questionable decision to visit Malham in the baking sunshine. We arrived after noon, to find an almost empty crag shimmering in the heat. Warming up in the centre of the crag, I felt like Laurence of Arabia, squinting longingly through the heat haze to the shade on the right hand side. Slowly but surely the shade crept round until, just seconds before it got dark, conditions finally became good enough to get off the floor. Jules put a sterling effort in on Thriller, but my own performance is best left undocumented to spare my blushes.

Next weekend I have one day to climb, and then will be forced to stay in a five star hotel in Scotland, eating fine food and talking nonsense for a living.

Source: The Spherical Cow

[SA Chris]

The life you live! Furryboots* are you going to be?



*(local dialect / venacular for whereabouts, just to get you into it in case you are anywhere near here)

[Stu Littlefair]

I shall be in Pitlochry. I'm looking at the conference schedule now and wondering how many afternoons off I can take...

[Fiend]

Weem and Dunkeld.

[comPiler]

Dear Diary
15 September 2014, 2:09 pm

Weight: 9st 10lbs (stubborn)

Cans of Coke: 6

Middle Finger Tendon Integrity (MFTI): 0.73

I'd spent the week holed up in a posh hotel in Pitlochry, discussing Electrification in Dusty Atmospheres. It did nothing for the waistline, and Pitlochry appears to be a Highlands Theme Park so horrid it has driven out all the local Scots. However, I did get to watch super-slo-mo videos of people re-creating volcanic explosions in the lab. Those guys are in the right job.

I returned Sheff-side exhausted, hung over and desperate to go climbing. Toby has a well-earned reputation for climbing without undue haste. It's ok though, because he rectifies this by starting early. So he picked me up from my house at half-past-early and we drove, bleary-eyed to Long Wall. I don't want to say bad things about Long Wall, so I'd best not say anything at all. It's long in one direction at least, I guess. Nevertheless I did manage to have an enjoyable day here. Toby dispatched Atlantic Realm, which is apparently 7c+ now half of it has fallen down. Toby did it with great ease, or at least very statically. It can be hard to tell which. Then I managed to comfortably flash the hard climbing and embarrass myself horribly on the easy top slab. Note to self: power screaming on 6b slab climbing is never acceptable.

On Sunday I returned to Malham to continue what is definitely going to be a long term affair with Rainshadow. I also cleaned out some bird's nests from Thriller/Victor Hugo so you really have no excuse now, do you? Once again I was struck by just how strong everyone is these days. Apart from myself there was one other 9a aspirant there that day, four people trying 8c's and teenage girls getting close to 8a's. It's a far cry from ten years ago, where you could climb an 8b and spend the rest of the day basking in the admiration of your peers. This makes me sad.

I'm sadder still by progress on Rainshadow. I firmly believe that I am capable of getting through the crux roof from the ground, but there is a long move on the headwall that I fear is just too hard. I can't do this move reliably off the rope, and you've already done at least 8c+'s worth of climbing by the time you get there. I remain hopeful, but not optimistic. The only thing that makes me feel better is how bad Alex Barrows is on this route. During his epic dogging sessions which seemed to last a day each, I estimate he spent 0.34 microseconds actually holding his own weight. I can only assume his belayer has very bruised hips this morning.

Still, no amount of failure on Alex's part will constitute success on mine, so I'd better do something about this headwall move soon. Stay tuned for more on that, and an upcoming blog post in which I alienate the entire female climbing community, shortly before the women's climbing symposium kicks off.



Source: The Spherical Cow

[Wood FT]

I did try and make you feel better by flailing around on 7b+

yours,

Bruised hips of Hebden Bridge

[moose]

... and teenage girls getting close to 8a's. It's a far cry from ten years ago, where you could climb an 8b and spend the rest of the day basking in the admiration of your peers. This makes me sad.

I likewise sincerely apologise that my efforts to fly the flag for weakness and failure were not enough!  Whilst I cannot fall more often or more pathetically, would failure whilst wearing a silly hat better serve to ameliorate your sadness?

[TobyD]

I likewise sincerely apologise that my efforts to fly the flag for weakness and failure were not enough!  Whilst I cannot fall more often or more pathetically, would failure whilst wearing a silly hat better serve to ameliorate your sadness?

Did someone abuse you with a thesaurus when you were little, or have you recently eaten one?

[TobyD]

Dear Diary
Note to self: power screaming on 6b slab climbing is never acceptable.

Source: The Spherical Cow

But always very funny. Slow, weak and sh*t i may be, able to stand on ledges on an off vertical wall without throwing the toys out of the pram, I can manage. Just.