[slackline]

Now I've not seen an elephant fly, but this is getting close to "everythin"...

I want my kidney back!

[andy popp]

From today's Independent:

'Shopaholic Crushed by Her Purchases

A Stockport pensioner who was addicted to shopping has been crushed to death by her purchases. Police began looking for Joan Cunnane, 77, in her bungalow on Tuesday. They searched through hoardes of unopened items stored in her house before finding her yesterday buried under three suitcases'

Meanwhile, in other news, Christian Voice report the Humanist Society to the Advertising Standards Authority for their 'god probably doesn't exist' ad campaign on the basis of a lack of 'truthfulness' and 'substantiation'. The fucking fuckwits.

[Will Hunt]

While kissing...doctors advise...to proceed with caution

[butters]

Hard times for the pr0n industry which is asking for a $5 billion bailout.

As a related bonus for all you Sarah Palin fans - Nailin' Paylin!

bluebrad

[slackline]

Lazy fucking cunts

Absolute twat says...

Carl has three words to describe how he feels about his situation.

"Gutted. Depressed. Bored. Young people don't get given a chance."

Err, hello, why the fuck should you be given a chance?  

Both left school at 16 without any qualifications and initially found work.

Get up of your fat arse and go and make your own opportunities, the world owes you nothing  

"At one place I turned up to do a night shift, then the next day they said they were full up and didn't need me. I had to go home, it was about three miles and I'd missed the last bus. "

Aww, my heart fucking bleeds, a whole three miles, how did you manage it?

[lagerstarfish]

Now, this isn't new news, but it is one of the more interesting legal processes that I've helped with (I didn't take part in the alleged offence itself in case you were wondering).

By taking it to the High Court, Mr Rose has established that it is legal for homeless people (and the rest of us for that matter) to have sex with each other in public places (the only places available for homeless people) as long as it's not done in front of others. This was not previously accepted.

:highfive:

[slackline]

  I'm going to go and find a secluded spot with a security camera and take the missus out for a few drinks nearby 

[SA Chris]

Lazy fucking cunts

Absolute twat says...

Carl has three words to describe how he feels about his situation.

"Gutted. Depressed. Bored. Young people don't get given a chance."

Err, hello, why the fuck should you be given a chance?  

Both left school at 16 without any qualifications and initially found work.

Get up of your fat arse and go and make your own opportunities, the world owes you nothing  

"At one place I turned up to do a night shift, then the next day they said they were full up and didn't need me. I had to go home, it was about three miles and I'd missed the last bus. "

Aww, my heart fucking bleeds, a whole three miles, how did you manage it?

you could quote the whole thing - so much wrongness.

[tomtom]

Lazy fucking cunts
Absolute twat says...

Carl has three words to describe how he feels about his situation.
"Gutted. Depressed. Bored. Young people don't get given a chance."

Err, hello, why the fuck should you be given a chance?  

Both left school at 16 without any qualifications and initially found work.

Get up of your fat arse and go and make your own opportunities, the world owes you nothing  

"At one place I turned up to do a night shift, then the next day they said they were full up and didn't need me. I had to go home, it was about three miles and I'd missed the last bus. "

Aww, my heart fucking bleeds, a whole three miles, how did you manage it?

you could quote the whole thing - so much wrongness.

 
Absolutely, the bit that made my stomach turn was the obligatory 'blame the migrants' line. Basically the good people from newly joined EU states get off their arses unlike these fat lazy c*nts and make something of it (and their lives!).
Twats. 

[Jaspersharpe]

Now, this isn't new news,......

“A wide range of conduct had been caught by the offence, including a schoolmaster ‘behaving in an indecent manner with a desk’ in front of two boys..."

 ???

[tomtom]

This'll put you off your breakfast... world changing news indeed

[slackline]

Now, this isn't new news, but it is one of the more interesting legal processes that I've helped with (I didn't take part in the alleged offence itself in case you were wondering).

By taking it to the High Court, Mr Rose has established that it is legal for homeless people (and the rest of us for that matter) to have sex with each other in public places (the only places available for homeless people) as long as it's not done in front of others. This was not previously accepted.

:highfive:

I think someone misunderstood the implications of this ruling<sup>* 

*</sup> I apologise for linking to the Sun.

[Will Hunt]

Appalling

Fucking hell, The Sun got one thing right! Look at the cut on her face!

RANDY reveller Emma Modrate repeatedly performed sex acts on her boyfriend in the street in front of dozens of appalled passers-by.

At one stage a tramp stood behind the couple and chatted to Dougherty while the act was being carried out, Durham Crown Court heard.

The court heard that Modrate had a long criminal history and has appeared in court on 33 occasions since 1998.

Andrew Finlay, mitigating, said: “She has now separated from Mr Dougherty after a record of considerable domestic violence.”

Mr Finlay said Modrate was ... on a drug rehabilitation scheme.

Jesus. It's grim up East Durham.

[Jaspersharpe]

Scum. Subhuman scum.

http://www.alan-partridge.co.uk/multimedia/soundclips/imalans01/s01e01/Scum.mp3

[Will Hunt]

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/middle_east/7839863.stm

Makes me squirm watching him pander to the UN when you see the images linked to above. 

[Sloper]

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/middle_east/7839863.stm

Makes me squirm watching him pander to the UN when you see the images linked to above.  

Sorry I don't really follow, what are you trying to say?

Let no one forget that our allies have used WP against built up civillian areas and our troops have confessed to war crimes.

War is a nasty brutal business and there are rarely any clean and simple answers or means of resolving conflict.  As dreadful as the conflict was and as dradful as the suffering of the Palestinian people will continue to be this conflict in relative terms is minor and carried out with a minimal degree of collateral damage.

HAMAS are a terrorist organisation who deliberately seek to maim and murder innocent civilians.  Isreal is a democratic government with the duty to defend its citizens, whether they are going about this in the right way remains to be seen.  I would prefer that they seek to 'kill' the threat of terror with kindness rather than rage and war but then again I don't sit in the Knesset.

There should be investigations into the actions of the IDF and prosecutions if there's sufficient reliable evidence to support the same but if you want to see an end to the conflict the starting point is to move away from the position of HAMAS good IDF bad.

[Will Hunt]

To be honest I don't take one side or the other. If the pictures mentioned previously had been of Israelis and the bombs been Palestinian my feelings would have been much the same. Most Israelis and most Palestinians don't want any of this shit, its the people like Hamas that are propagating misery that is inflicted upon civilians.
In fact I read somewhere that most Palestinians and most Israelis would be more than happy to simply have one unified nation with cultural tolerance.

[slackline]

If you're in Cairns (Australia) of drinking in the Sapphire Bar, which "has a rear entry in the same lane as the adult shop".  Pictures here

Blow-up rubber dolls in Australia can now rest easy, the perpetrator has been arrested.


From the same web-site it seems some Burmese fishermen have some rather fishy tails.  ("Esky" is Australian slang for a cool-box, the aetiology is from a particular brand I believe)

[SA Chris]

Eskimo I think.

[dave]

DAB!

back around.

[SA Chris]

DAB!

back around.

I think you are allowed do-overises if it's your first go. Plus he was given duff beta.

[dave]

i'd love to see future inaugurations overseen timmy mallet, to make sure theres no repetition, deviation,......hesitiation, or repetition.

just out of interest but how did they manage to coax that imbecile Bush to say the right words at the right time for the inauguration? it must have taken months of careful training, not just to get the timing right but also to expand his vocabulary tenfold, a bit like when they trained father jack to say "yes" and "that would be an ecumenical matter".

[slackline]

Looks like the new boss of the US may be more open about computing.  The later story might have some M$ bods worried about their profit margins 

[Bubba]

Jesus told me to do it

[slackline]

Fuckwits ignoring scientific evidence    I'm with Bob.

Also, has anyone noticed the irony in refusing to broadcast a Gaza appeal and then harping on about it in the news?  "No such thing as bad publicity!!!!"